I have very vivid dreams.  Often I have to sit back and wonder “did that take place in reality or in dream land.”  It can be very confusing.  Not just confusing to me but for those around me.  Imagine trying to keep up on a conversation only to have me stop after you have looked at me with a blank stare for a good 5 minutes and have me say, “never mind I guess we discussed this in my dream.”  Not to mention if you piss me off in my dream you best back off.  I’ve held grudges into real life more than once.  It really angered one of my past boyfriends, “Why am I in trouble for something my dream persona did?  How can I help what he does?”  If you have to ask then I can’t help you dude …

The saddest part of my dream life is I often wake up and think, “that was a good one I

have to remember that.”  Then I don’t.  Sometimes my dreams are epic and are blockbuster July movie quality and I have no choice but to remember them.  There was one YEARS ago where the world was flooded by an acid like water substance so the survivors of the world had to climb up on structures to live.  It was like Waterworld but harsher and with no Tina Turner (Wait Tina Turner was in Mad Max not Waterworld.  Am I the only person who gets those two movies confused?).  There was me though and I was bad ass!  The acid water was caused by some horrible industry fail and they were trying to rule the world by taking over the earth (that part of the plot was fuzzy).  There was one part (key turning point in the story) when a small child was falling off a building head first into the acid water and I tied a bungee (yah there was a bungee close so what) to my ankle and jumped.  I grabbed the kid and held him close to my chest but the give of the bungee and momentum of my body caused my arm to fling out touching the acid water but I didn’t notice.  Everyone at the top of the building was ready to see a eaten up stump when they pulled me up but NO!  Turns out it wasn’t acid water.  It was just regular water and our brains were telling us it was acid water so that’s what it was to us (all in our heads).  It didn’t hurt me because I hadn’t noticed it was happening.  Once we were aware it was all in our heads the spell was broken.  The bad dude industry was doping us with some freaky drug to rule our brains.  I don’t know why.  I didn’t dream that part.  Someone in Hollywood has to polish that script a bit.

Anyway last night I had another good one.  I was living in a big ol’ mansion like house with Riggins and my ex boyfriend (who, in my dream, wasn’t my ex although there were many times that I thought “you are an idiot”).  My friends were filming some movie in the backyard.  At one point my ex got a very mysterious call.  He turned to me and another friend and said we had to go now.  Apparently he had been working with the government on some super secret mission (which I remember thinking was odd since he was an idiot).  Turns out the aliens had come back to get all of us (Scientologist were right I guess) because our life cycles were over.  You see when we die we were just given another body over and over again so past lives were real and it was all because of the aliens (meaning I was totally wrong this entire time and owe a bunch of people an apology).  Anyway the key people had to get the hell out of dodge so they could be “saved.”  This included my idiot boyfriend who was taking me and this other friend (I have no idea why he was coming but every story needs a wacky sidekick).  I demanded we bring Riggins as well.  Riggins had past lives too so that was ok with everyone.  My ex magically pulled out this giant truck from our living room that had the stuff we needed loaded up and tried to get us to leave.  I wasn’t really questioning him but I was really pissed off because he had really screwed up our house.  Furniture was pushed around and turned upside down.  We were leaving the set (aka our house and our friends) to go on some stupid trip somewhere stupid with this idiot leading us.  My ex kept telling me it didn’t matter but I wasn’t getting the fact that we weren’t coming back.  Apparently we had to go to some place with the other believers (yes John Travolta AND Tom Cruise were going) to be shown all our past lives by the aliens so we could be “saved” as everyone else got alien zapped.  I woke up when I realized I didn’t want to see the aliens.  Aliens scare me.

If you would like to make these movies please contact my agent.