photo 1 (66)I’ve been dog sitting for a year and 1/2 now.  I thought it was time to share some of the wisdom I’ve collected during this time.  I’m sure it will come in handy at some point in your life.

  • It doesn’t matter how long you are out and about on a hike or long walk sometimes a dog will hold it just so he can pee in your living room.
  • The littlest one is always in charge.
  • No matter how nice a dog is there is one person out there that he doesn’t like.  This hatred will make itself known at the exact same time you have his leash wrapped tightly around two fingers.
  • If an otherwise nice dog doesn’t like someone it’s probably because that person has children tied up in his basement.  Or the dude just smells really bad.
  • photo 1 (37)It’s not your bed anymore.
  • Barking is like yawning.  It’s contagious.
  • Dogs can get sunburned.
  • There are two types of dogs.  Those who want to swim in any water they can find and those who will pull your arm out of your socket running away from a puddle.
  • A water sprayer won’t work on a dog who likes to drink water from a hose.  The “deterrent” just becomes their personal water fountain.
  • Dog hair sticks really well to yoga pants.
  • Dog hair sticks really well to sheets.
  • Dog hair is a pain in the ass.
  • photo 4 (35)Horse poop is delicious.
  • Coyote poop isn’t bad either.
  • Many dogs like the taste of lotion.
  • Dog slobber is not an effective moisturizer.
  • Dog poop smells … bad.
  • Exercise does indeed calm the wildest dog down.  Unfortunately you have to exercise with them and it poops you out more.
  • Dogs who want to cuddle are the best!
  • Unless you have had multiple dogs in your bed nonstop for a week or two and then those who want their own space at night are the best!
  • The crappy crinkle toys at the 99 cent store are by far the best investment ever.
  • Your mailman will learn your schedule and make sure he stops by the house of hell while you have all the pups out and about.
  • photo 3 (44)Vacuums can be scary.
  • You can get use to the smell of wet dog.  
  • Dogs can get out of almost any leash or harness if they really want to.
  • Thorns and stickers love fluffy dogs and your carpet.
  • Humping isn’t just for boy dogs.
  • If you have a dog that likes to grab your scarf don’t wrap it around your head multiple times and secure it with multiple knots.
  • No matter what, the other guys food is always better.
  • According to every master their dog is house trained and well behaved.  75% of those people have lied to you.
  • Dogs like to sleep on a pillow.  Especially if it is yours.  
  • Starring at a ball and barking at it nonstop will not make the ball throw itself across the yard.
  • photo 3 (36)It’s a real pisser when you are the one dog that has to sleep in a crate and everyone else is free to flop down on each others beds.
  • Sometimes it’s just simpler to watch TV standing up.
  • Sometimes it’s just simpler to eat your dinner in your car … in the garage … in peace and quite.
  • Whatever room you are in is THE BEST ROOM EVER AND EVERYONE MUST BE IN THERE WITH YOU.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg.  There is so much more I could share with you but I need to go take the gang out in the back to pee.

 

 

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