Here is the thing.  I’m crazy independent.  There is very little Riggins and I can’t tackle on our own.  I rarely have a “female” meltdown because I don’t have a partner (aka boyfriend/husband) to help me through my day-to-day life.  In fact, I’m usually a very angry woman if you dare suggest otherwise.

I’m told, by my mom, I was mean to a guy at Home Depot recently when I asked him where the Draino was.  I needed some main line root cleaner but instead of being an arrogant ass and saying, “Where is your main line root cleaner?”  I said, “Where is your Draino.”  As I knew they would be sitting on the shelf side by side.  When the Home Depot rep shook his head in disgust and in his best “I’m talking down to a female voice,” said, “Why, little lady (I may have added that part for color), you don’t want to be using that horrible stuff now do you?”  I wanted to grab him and say, “listen here you male chauvinist pig head tell me what god damn isle the Draino is on.”  Instead I said, “I know.  You all hate Draino.  That isn’t what I’m buying I just want to know where it is.”  This most likely was done in an elevated theatrical voice and was accompanied by minor stomping in the direction the gentleman pointed.

Don’t even get me started on how much I hate the car dealer guys who work in the service department.  My only words to them seem to be “Oil and filter.  no.  no.  no.  Oil and filter.  Only.  Oil and filter … only.”  I like to bring Riggins along as, since I started going there, they have added a sign that says “no dogs” and seem very very afraid of him.  Gets me in and out of there with little hassle and in lightening speed.

I LOVE going to movies by myself.  LOVE hiking with just Riggins and me.  Have no problem hitting the Rose Bowl for a jog or run on my own.  Don’t mind traveling (took the Catalina Express alone this weekend) alone and have no problem eating at restaurants alone.  Find putting together furniture and electronics a challenge that I can handle without help.  I am smart enough to only purchase clothing I can zip up myself.  BUT once in a blue moon even I have an, IF I ONLY HAD SOMEONE TO HELP ME, meltdown.

I’m prepping for one of those now.  You see I’m having a social gathering on Sunday and I need to add a leaf to my dining room table to accommodate the party food/snacks.  No big deal.  No big deal if you have someone helping you.  Do you know how impossible it is to insert a leaf in a table on your own?  I M P O S S I B L E.  I’m gearing up for a throw yourself on he floor, sob uncontrollably, no one will ever love me, tantum Sat around 3ish.  I figure that is about the time it will all go down.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

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