You are going to the bathroom and then all of a sudden have a wave of nausea come over you that is so strong it includes sharp stabbing pains to your abdomen forcing you to have to lie down. Right now. Of course the perfect spot would be on the cool bathroom floor but you can’t flop down there because a giant golden retriever is taking up the majority of the floor while the rest is inhabited by two little dogs who make it their job to hold guard over your ankles whenever you sit down to poo.
So you crawl a few feet and lie down in the hall only to realize that you shouldn’t have procrastinated cleaning the carpet the past two weeks because it smells like dog ass. The stench is really only making your nausea worse and making it hard to think about anything but cleaning the carpet so you army crawl to the bedroom and managed to lie down on the bed face down.
Deciding dehydration is part of your problem you managed to get the inner strength to stumble to the fridge for some coconut water before going back to the bathroom to lie on the floor. The little dogs had followed you into the bedroom leaving premium floor space free. Of course since you didn’t clean the carpet what made you think you cleaned the bathroom floor? Too gross to even attempt you head back to the bed only to realize it is now being utilized by 3 dogs. Since you don’t have the strength to move anyone you lie backwards on the bed with you legs over your own dog in the hopes he will understand you have no choice at this moment.
As you lie there moaning all you can think of is all the work you need to be doing right that second not to mention the now even more urgent need to clean all the floors in the house. Finally you feel stable enough to hit the bathroom and take a shower only to emerge a new person.
No? No one? Just me? This morning experience was all mine?
P.S. I’m fine. I think it was a lack of sleep (I don’t sleep well the first night with new dogs. I’m always afraid they are going to die in their sleep.), dehydration (although I didn’t do a long hike this morning, I did have to carry the fat chihuahua part of the way), and eating too much at lunch (I was hungry). I suppose if I am truthful though I really just needed to poop.
Pictures are of the dogs on their hike this morning. Notice the smile on the fat chihuahua’s face while I’m carrying him. He is pleased as punch with himself.