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Me Myself & Riggins

Tag Archives: boots

Bare Feet are Gross

12 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

bare feet, barefoot, boots, dogs, flip-flops, pee, running shoes, shoes, tennis shoes, toes

Good dogs (don't pee in my house)

Good dogs (don’t pee in my house)

I’m a huge supporter of shoes.  I think I’ve told you before that I believe the barefoot running fad is bullshit.  The “our early ancestors ran barefoot so it is more natural” argument is invalid as soon as you factor in that those folks died when they were in their early twenties.  Perhaps doing everything they did isn’t the best way to live a long, healthy, and productive life.  I’m not a fan of having to take my shoes off to come into your house either.  I’ll do it if it’s “house rules” but I’m not overjoyed about it.  Usually my feet are in no position to be seen au naturel and my outfit has been specifically coordinated to some crazy high heel that makes my Bar Method legs seem inhumanly long.  What is the point of looking Amazonian if you can’t top it off with enormous high heels?  Taking those away from me, especially in a social situation, is like cutting Samson’s hair.

I also don’t like flip-flops (or thongs depending on where you grew up and what you learned to call them).  First of all they are barely even shoes.  Secondly, I can’t stand any shoe that jams something in-between my toes.  It’s horrifically uncomfortable.  Finally, I can’t walk in them.  I shuffle along like a 90-year-old man in the sauna.  I’m just incapable of giving any flip to my flip-flops.  They just drag along behind my toes.  It’s humiliating.

I like real shoes.  Shoes with high heals and closed toes.  Shoes with HUGE cork wedges.  Boots with zippers up the sides.  Sneakers that require you to wear socks.  I don’t do barefoot.  Until recently.  The past few months I’ve spent much of my time in my own house barefoot.  Something I would NEVER have done in the past.  Why?  Two things.  Really it’s one thing but the second thing is added on to make me sound less gross.

1.  I like to be barefoot when I go out back to make sure the cement isn’t too hot for the dogs.  Really this is only necessary when it is sunny — so always.  More than once I’ve had to “hot foot it” back to some shade or the house with the dogs on my heels.  If it hurts my feet it hurts theirs.  Actually they can go a little longer than me but not much.

Now lets face it … that is kinda a bs reason.  It’s a good reason.  It makes me seem like a loving caring dog person but it isn’t REALLY necessary.  It’s just cover up for the real reason …

Good dogs

Good dogs

2.  I can tell when a dog has peed in my house when I step in a wet spot.  Gross.  I know.  It’s gross.  BUT it is so necessary.  You gotta clean up the pee or it gets out of control FAST.  Some of these dogs are ninja pee-ers.  I can go into a room and come to a halt just by smell and scream WHO PEED??????  Sometimes though my sniffer is off and I can’t tell that something has happened.  Then I step in wet.  AAAAHHHHH!  I pause and think …. did I just get out of the shower … is there a logic reason this is wet …. nope.  I get down on all fours and smell than scream.  “GODDAMN IT.  WHICH ONE OF YOU PEED?”  It really sends me into a frenzy.  I hate it.  I grab the spray and a rag and go at it.  Spray spray spray.  Mop mop mop.  Repeat repeat repeat.  Grumbling the entire time until every dog is scared to come near me and cowering in different corners of the house.  Then, of course, I have to rinse off my pee detecting foot in the bathtub.

Luckily none of the pups I’m watching now are indoor peers.  I can safely go put shoes on.

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More Crafts

14 Friday Jun 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Art, Asscher, boots, Brobee, crafts, dogs, Riggins, Yo Gabba Gabba

We celebrated my niece and father’s birthday today so I can tell you more about some of the crafts I’ve completed recently.  Get ready to be impressed (tee hee) …

photo (7)Papa’s day – Riggins always gives people presents.  I use to think long and hard about which gift to put his name on for fear he was the giver of the more impressive present.  Then I realized that the recipient was probably smart enough to figure out that Riggins didn’t really get on Amazon, place the item in his shopping cart, get it delivered, and wrap it.  For dad’s day I made my father a giant (really heavy — too heavy really but it was all I could find for the right $ amount I was willing to spend) tea mug.  I was lucky enough to find a silhouette online of a dog and a man who could pass for my dad and Riggins.  I used the same method I did with the glasses in my past post.  I told you more people would be receiving decorated glass gifts!

image (9)Brobee head – My niece is OBSESSED with Yo Gabba Gabba.  She loves them all and now tends to lean toward Foofa as her favorite, but for a long time Brobee was her main man.  I decided she needed a Brobee headband.  To be honest the headband itself is a little big but beggars can’t be choosers.  I took some red felt, cut it into 3 squaty triangles, sewed each triangle together, stuffed each one with felt scraps, glued them to the headband, and then sewed the bottom of the triangles together for good measure.  TADA!  BROBEE HEAD!  She liked it but was just as happy to have her Mom wear it.  Clover was nice enough to model it for you while she was here.

image (8)Cowboy Boots – I read on Facebook that my girlfriend’s son, Gavin, had a cowboy theme day at his school/day camp today.  I LOVE dress up days.  Those are always the best.  I offered to make him some fake cowboy boots if she brought over the material.  To make these I took one square (well rectangle) of brown felt and cut it in 1/2.  I sewed the back together then used one of Gavin’s shoes to cut the top to fit.   Next, I sewed the top together.  For the “leg sleeves” I took two more pieces of felt and sewed them together then grabbed my cowboy boots as a template and cut the top in the cowboy shape.  I put velcro on the back of the “leg sleeves” for easy on and off action.  Finally I grabbed a brown sharpie and faked a cowboy boot pattern.  Of course you can put a piece of elastic under the shoe part to help it stay on and even safety-pin the sleeve to the shoe cover to keep it in place.  I think they turned out pretty sharp and I’m told Gavin was happy with them, which is really all that matters.

Just because I like you I’m going to leave you with this adorable picture of my niece and nephew safely eating their cookies in a location Riggins and Asscher couldn’t get to!   Have a wonderful weekend!image (33)

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