Tag Archives: dogs

Blame the Dogs

12 Friday Sep 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

Today's Pack (Huxley, Riggins, Asscher, Bear, Jax, Wallace, & Hudson)

Today’s Pack (Huxley, Riggins, Asscher, Bear, Jax, Wallace, & Hudson)

I’m all for taking credit for a mistake.  Just the other day I had to call a co-worker and admit I screwed up and needed her advice on how to fix it.  The way I look at it no one is perfect and if you never screw up it just means you weren’t trying hard enough to succeed in the first place.  Even though this is my nature during my DogVacay meet and greets I find it easier … just to blame the dogs.

During a meet and greet a dog and his/her folks are coming over to check the place out and see if it is a good fit for an upcoming stay.  Normally I have the new dog go to the backyard.  I meet the folks out there and discuss their dog, his/her activity level, allergies, etc.  Then, when the pup is settled down, I go in and get Riggins and any other dogs I am watching, so they can come say hi and get to know each other.  Finally we all head in the house for a tour.  This means my house needs to be clean.  Heavy sigh.

I clean constantly.  CONSTANTLY and yet it is never enough.  There is always dog hair and dust on the furniture, dog hair and slobber on the floors, and dirty dishes in the sink.  I swear I’ve vacuumed and an hour later really need to do it again. Here is what happens whenever a meet and greet is scheduled:

Day before – “Shoot.  I have a meet and greet tomorrow.   I need to vacuum, wash the dishes, mop, clean the bathroom, dust, fold/put away clothes, and change the linens.  I’ll do that tonight.”

Night before – “I’m too tired.  I’ll just go to bed and wake up early to clean.”

Early the morning of the visit – “I’ll sleep until <insert name of dog> gets here and then I’ll vacuum when <insert name of another dog> gets here.  Then after our hike I’ll wash the dishes, make the bed (no need to change the linens they aren’t crawling into bed with me), stuff the clothes in the dryer to deal with later, and light the candles.  If I keep the lights low they won’t notice I didn’t dust and mop.  I’ll put <insert name of dog> in the bathroom and tell the visitors that he/she doesn’t get along with all humans so it is really for their safety he/she is there.”

Later that morning of the visit – “I don’t need to vacuum.  More time for a few winks.”

After the hike – “Crap.  I have to wash the dishes and light the candles … fast.”

Right before meet and greet – “Just have time to wash the wine glasses but not dry them and put them away.  I’ll casually talk about the gathering of friends I had last night (didn’t have — no one wants someone with that many used wine glasses watching their baby). I’ll just pile the clothes onto the bed and say I was in the middle of doing laundry.”

Seconds before the meet and greet – “I’ll just fill the sink with soapy water like I’m getting ready to clean the counters and floor.  Screw the rest of it.”

Then during the meet and greet I mention that I just had some really heavy shedders go home and haven’t had time to vacuum yet – lie (Sometimes.  I probably had heavy shedders but they went home a couple days ago.  Plenty of time for a vacuum.)

The poor sacrificial lamb/dog stuck in the bathroom gets a bad rap just so I don’t have to clean my sink.

I make sure Riggins jumps on my bed when we are in the bedroom and throw up my hands as if to say, “I don’t know how I can get anything done with such nonsense.”

A dirty floor just means we went for a long hike this morning and had so much fun we all got dirty and I didn’t have time to bathe everyone yet.

So the poor dogs take one for the team (the team being me).  It is only fair.  After all I feed them.

#selfie

15 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

As you know I’m a supporter of the Selfie.  I love them!  I don’t care if people think they are egotistical or unnecessary.  They always make me smile.  I think you should keep pointing the camera at yourself and clicking!  As an international trendsetter (a title I gave myself just now) I have tried to get folks on-board with the #DogSelfie.  Adoption has been slower than I had hoped and frankly, given my ridiculously high social status, expected.   Therefore, I’m looking to you for help in spreading the word.  Go out.  Take a photo of you and a dog … any dog.  Tag as #DogSelfie and start uploading to social media sites.  Together we can change the world. 

I used Studio to make my #DogSelfies into pieces of art.  You should too.  It’s a great app.

photo 4 (1) photo 5 photo 1 (1) photo 2 (2) photo 2 (42) photo 1 (40) photo 4 photo 3 (1) photo 3 (31)

 

The Untouchables

24 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

photo 3 (19)There is a really sweet little chihuahua sitting on my lap right now.  Well … he isn’t really little, more like top heavy.  And … I suppose he isn’t really sweet, just to a select few humans.  Yesterday I took the pups, four in total, on a local hike.  The chihuahua and her sister weren’t going to go far so we followed the path long enough to hit a fun watering hole and hung out so everyone could burn off some energy.  The “little chihuahua” decided he was going to spend as much time as possible holding court in the middle of the trail.  He just stood there giving the ol’ stink eye to each and every person as they passed.  Honestly I’m not sure that many people even noticed him.  At one point a gaggle of teens came trotting up and one asked if he could pet my dog.  “Sure,” I said.  The tall gangling kid reached down to touch the little chihuahua and that dog flipped the fuck out!  He went chihuahua crazy on the crowd.  Barking his tiny little mouth off and waddling around chasing them.  I was laughing so hard I almost fell of the boulder I was perched on.  It was hilarious.  The teens ran off without touching a dog even when I yelled at them that one of the other ones was nicer.

Not all dogs like people.  It’s just the way it is.  I’ve come across my fair share of these untouchables.  I had a dog for one day on Dec. 23rd.  She came into my backyard and I suggested her dad take off her harness for me and was told she doesn’t even let him do it.  Once the dog’s folks left I was stuck with a dog that wouldn’t come near me, under a bush in my backyard.  I finally got her leashed up and took her, and the other pups I had with me, on our adventure for the day.  By the time she was picked up at the end of the night she was my BFF.

photo 1 (24)Recently, due to a family emergency, I took in 3 dogs all of different stages of socialization.  One, a terrier mix, loved everyone … all time.  The second, a shepherd mix, loved most people almost all of the time.  The third, a chihuahua (sensing a theme)/dachshund liked no one ever.  When I was called and asked if I could take the pups for a few days I was warned that “Freddie” would most likely have to be isolated from the rest of the pack.  In fact I had heard about Freddie before.  He was a notorious “bad dog.”  How bad could he be?  I assured the worried party that it would be fine and I’ve worked with unsocialized dogs before.

Then I went to pick up the threesome … and realized Freddie was indeed an “issue.”  It took me forever to get him on leash to even leave his house.  Each time I reached photo 5 (3)down to secure his lead he would try to bite me (I learned later that he had indeed bit his most recent trainer).  I finally made his leash into a slip lead and put it over his head.  He managed to be perplexed about what was happening long enough for me to get his leash attached to his collar.  “Okay!  Downhill from here.” — or so I thought.  It then took me FOREVER to get the threesome in the car.  Dog 1 jumped up like it he was going to Disneyland.  Dog 2 eventually let me hoist her up into the way back (I had other dogs in the back seat).  Freddie wasn’t going to let me do anything to him at all.  Once again he tried to bite me.  I managed to grab him and toss him into the front seat without his teeth making contact with any part of my body!

I got in the car, wiped off the sweet, and headed off to a local hike.  I walked those dogs until I was confident they were all pooped.  Getting Freddie back into the car wasn’t that difficult this time.  Exercise is always the answer!

photo 4 (16)At home I ignored Freddie until he decided to come to me.  By the next morning he wanted to be next to me all the time.  By midday he wanted to be in my lap all the time.  By that evening he was sleeping in my bed.  I had no problems with him trying to bite me again.  I could attach his leash to his collar without hesitation.  I could pick him up and cuddle him without being worried of getting a few extra holes put into my body.

Freddie was also great with the rest of the pack … and he came into contact with a lot of dogs.  The ONLY dog he snipped at was my dog nephew but that is because my sister’s GIANT puppy got up in his face and needed to be scolded.  It turned out Freddie was no problem and the anxiety meds that his family had given me to use sat in my car untouched his entire visit.

I’m not saying I’m magic or crazy good at my job … I’m just saying dogs tend to like me.  That and exercise is magic.   I’m sure there are exceptions to that rule.  I hope I never meet them!  I prefer to believe no one is untouchable!

Stop Dog Racisim

15 Thursday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

[Parts of the details of this story have been withheld to protect the innocent.]

Riggins

Riggins

One evening I was at a dinner party with my darling Riggins.  At the time he was young and spoiled (now he is old and spoiled) which meant he was better off sitting next to me while we ate dinner vs. forcing him outside where he would bark like a crazy person wanting to come in to be with his human friends.  Some would say that it is rude to allow your dog to watch you eat at the dinner table with non-dog people and even sneak him scraps while no one is looking.  I would even suggest those people are right … I would also suggest I don’t care.  So there I was sitting with Riggins at my side when the following conversation happened:

Woman:  What’s that dog’s name?

Wendy:  Riggins.

Woman:  Reagan?  Like after the president?

Wendy:  No Riggins.  He was actually named after a football player.

Woman:  Why?  Because he is a n… [insert n word]

Wendy: Actually Riggins was a white gentleman …. so no.

Women (in response to shock and awe at the table):  What?  The dog is a n….

Wendy:  True enough.

Sam

Sam

Riggins is a beautiful black with a white/black spotted chest and paws.  He was one of two (or three … I forget) black dogs in his litter.  His mom was a German Shorthair Pointer while his dad was a Samoyed so most of the pups where a white and or white/cream/brown color combination.  When I saw the pups there were only two of the them without homes.  I knew I wanted a male dog and that meant my only option was Riggins, the “giant black one” of the litter.  They had named him Gigantor.  I’m so lucky I Gigantor was the one left …. as he obviously was meant to belong to me!

I bring this up because there is a phenomenon among adoptable animals called “BDS” or “Black Dog Syndrome.”   Although I suppose I should be a good fake journalist and admit it is a debatable “syndrome,” if you talk to (and/or google information) shelter folks they will tell you black animals tend to stay in shelters much longer than their light-colored companions.  There are lots of suggestions on why this is but here are my thoughts:

Hank

Hank

* Good pictures of black dogs (this is true for cats and other adoptable animals so assume I mean all of them in the future when I say “dogs.”) are hard to get.  Ask any black dog mom/dad and she/he will show you a thousand photos of black blobs for that one good pic of their baby.  Many shelters are getting help (or hiring) from professional photographers to get great pictures of the adoptable pets to post online so hopefully this will help in the future.  In the meantime poorly lit kennels and black dogs equal crappy photos that don’t show the dogs loving personality.

* It’s sometimes hard to see a black dogs eyes.  I recently trained to volunteer in a local no-kill animal shelter and was VERY CAREFUL not to make eye contact with the dogs.  That’s how they get you.  You are just minding your own business and BAM their soulful eyes pull you in and tell you that they need you.  Next thing you know you have a new buddy in your life.  Unfortunately black dogs usually have a darker eye color which makes it hard to make that connection with them.

Huxley

Huxley

* Black dogs are mean.  Of course this isn’t true but it is what people think.  I told a story in a previous blog how, when on a hike, people were afraid of “the black dog.”  It happened this morning.  People were afraid of the black dog when it was the cute little cream-colored cocker spaniel mix that tried to eat a chihuahua whole.  Some folks think that it is because “bad” dogs in movies are often black in color.  I just think we associate the black dog color with aggression …. because we are stupid humans.

Many shelters will have a “black dog awareness month” or day or week and offer special adoption rates during that time.  Right now some of the Best Friend locations have their Back in Black special during the month of May.   If you are looking to adopt give the dark dudes and dudettes a shot.  I can guarantee they are love bugs!

Cute Things in Tiny Packages

05 Monday May 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

I’ve always been a fan of bigger dogs.  They are the best to cuddle with.  It’s so easy to lean in, wrap your arms around, and bury your head in the fur of a big pup.  Riggins is the perfect size.  When he cuddles up in bed with me I can throw my arm around him and snuggle up next to him.  I tend to get a lot of big dogs coming to my house for dog sitting.  On the DogVacay site, that I use, some hosts will only accommodate small dogs and often a big dog owner will look for someone who has a big dog too.  Their thinking is a big dog person already knows how to take care of their beast.  I tend to think big dogs are easier to take care of than small dogs but most people don’t agree with me.

Lately I’ve had a number of small dogs come through my door and into my heart.  Let me tell you about just a few:

download (3)CREATURE – Creature is acorgi/spaniel mix.  At four years old she has a ton of energy and is full of smiles and happiness.  Let me tell you the two big negatives ofcorgis (andcorgi mixes) that you have to get over if you fall in love with one.  First of all they shed like amo’fo’.  Secondly their little legs actually make it difficult to walk them with a leash attached to the collar.  The leash is constantly getting tangled up in their little legs and you have to work hard at keeping the leash up over their

The Monroe

The Monroe

head in the correct walking position.  It’s kinda a pain in the bum.   You need to get a walking harness if you want to make it easy to train them to walk on leash well.  Creature is so darn cute those things don’t matter.  The best thing about Creature?  She squeaks.  She is like a squeaky stuffed toy and whenever she is happy or excited she squeaks her head off.  That means whenever I come through the door, or take her for a walk, or suggest we go to bed, or suggest she comes give me a hug she goes into a hilarious squeak fit.  She also is the best poser and has what I call the “Marilyn Monroe” pose.  When I want to take a picture of her I tell her to “Strike a Monroe” and she sits down with her head turned up and to the side.  Hilarious!

download (4)LESTER – Lester is apuggle.  That’s a pug beagle mix.  He is a little ball of awesomeness.  I’m not usually a fan of pug or pug mixes.  No offense to the breed but it just doesn’t fit my lifestyle.  Any short snout type dog isn’t usually a great hiker which means not a great companion for me.  I would never dare say such a thing to Lester.  First of all it would destroy his feelings.  That is what it seems like.  He is like a living super happy Eeyore who, with one negative comment from the human he loves, will be sent back under that sad little rain cloud.   You just don’t want to ever disappoint that

LOVE ME!

LOVE ME!

face!  Lester is the best cuddler.  He is also one of those dogs who HAS to be under the covers with you.  This can be annoying but not when it is Lester.  It’s very comforting to have his little warm fuzzy body up against your legs while you sleep.  He is also the king of pictures and every single time I snapped my camera and then took a look I laughed out loud.  His face … adorbs!

downloadDAMSEL – Damsel is a schnoodle.  That is a schnauzer and a poodle mix.   She is also Dragon‘s new sister.  Now you know I adore Dragon so Damsel had a lot to live up to.  Her dad told me she was younger and, although old enough to be house trained, was having problems and overall was taking a bit to settle into her new family life.  I was expecting the worse.  I drove over to their house to pick them up (their folks had already headed off on their vacation) and opened the door to nonstop barking from Damsel.  Since she is still in training she was in her crate while Dragon came to the door to meet me with some happy kisses.  I looked over at the crate and gasped.  Loud.  Dragon is sofriggin’ adorable I had expected a similar looking dog.  The mug looking at me from behind the bars was the kind of face only a mother could love.  I

My shadow.

My shadow.

was not sold on this kid at the moment.  I got her on leash and took her home.  By the time we got to my house I was converted into a Damsel lover.  First of all she decided she loved me which is always a plus.  Damsel had to be with me constantly.  I actually had to finally figure out a way to secure her to the car seat because she didn’t want to be there.  She wanted to be in my lap ALWAYS.  Typing at my computer … in my lap.  Watching tv … in my lap.  Sleeping … as close to my lap as possible.   She also quickly proved to be a pro off leash hiker just like her brother and her ability to leap like a bunny got me some great action shots!  There is nothing funnier than a dog that leaps like a bunny.

Of course there have been a ton of others.  Chloe, Sadie, Hank, Maisie, Fredo, Dot, and on and on.  If I keep writing this blog would go on forever.  Every time a little dog wiggles his/her way into my heart I think I love little dogs the best.  Then I give Riggins a hug and get snapped back to big dog reality!

Reporting Live from the Surface of the Sun

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You know in The Big C where Laura Linney’s character goes a little wack-a-doodle and starts digging a pool in her backyard?  I predict that will be me before the end of summer 2014 ends.  I don’t do well in super heat.  Riggins does not do well in super heat.  Based on all the evidence our summer in Los Angeles is going to be SUPER  HOT.  At some point I’m going to lose my mind to dehydration, grab a shovel, head to the back yard, and start digging.  Then I’m going to grab the hose and just let it fill up into a muddy wonderful mess so the dogs and I can splash around like cool little piggies.  To you it sounds like a mess.  It’s 91 degrees right now here.  To me it sounds like heaven.

Bear, Huxley & Jax seek shade on Runyon

Bear, Huxley & Jax seek shade on Runyon

91 DEGREES …. END OF APRIL …. 91 DEGREES.  For the next few days Los Angeles will be threatening record-breaking temperatures.  I’m not okay with that.  I live at the base of the LA Mountains.  A nice little piece of desert I like to call my own (well it’s someone else’s and I give them money to live on it).  The sun is drawn to this area and beats down on it with the power of … well … the sun.  Anything left out too long like awnings and lawn chairs are sun washed and faded.  80% of the neighborhood relies on succulents and cactus as their main garden features.  Even the “breeze” is bullshit as it is really just a hot gust of wind we call the “Santa Anas.”  All in all it is a hot mess.  Literally.

Pekka hits the pool.

Pekka hits the pool.

Riggins is a black dog and almost 9 years old.  Those two things make him extra sensitive to heat, although most dogs can get heat exhaustion/stroke very fast.  It is something I have to be very careful of especially when hiking with the dogs.  Frankly I’d rather go out with the pups in the rain vs. high temperatures.  On hot days I eat enough flying bugs to hit my protein quota for the day.  When it gets as hot as it is now and will be for most of this week, our options of where we can go are very limited.  There aren’t a lot of hikes that offer shade or enough shade.  I also have to worry about the trail getting too hot for their sensitive paws and being able to hike with enough water.  Finally, although just as important, if it is a “red flag warning” day I need to be aware of not getting myself into a position where a brush fire could cause us issues.  It’s a real concern as any moment now the hills around me could go up in flames with a snap of my fingers (or some assholes cigarette thrown out the window — I saw a guy driving around Griffith Park recently throw a lit cigarette out the window.

Fredo is the king of chilax hiking!

Fredo is the king of chilax hiking!

STUPID STUPID STUPID.  Don’t do that.  That is a really bad move and could cause mass destruction and death given the right circumstances.  The hills are crazy dry right now.  One little spark and … poof!).  All in all it’s a pain in my butt.

Better for all of us to just stay inside and chillax (as my sister would say).   If you need us we will all be lying on the bed on top of the contents of the ice trays I will dump there.

Stay chill … or at least try.

Oh What a Day

21 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Man have I had a day.  It started out with minimal sleep.  Dragon (the schnauzer) threw up in my bed night before last and I was too tired last night to fully re-make everything.  I did get most of it together but skipped the duvet cover.  It’s just a pain in the bum to get that duvet cover put back together.  As you can imagine my bed is often a battle ground where you take whatever covers you can get.  I didn’t think one little duvet would make much difference but it did.  Somehow Dragon and Bongo (Vizsla) managed to plop themselves down in such a way that it was nearly impossible for me to negotiate covers.   I also had a lot on my mind so it was a restless night.

I had to get up early, but for a good reason!  Riggins adorable photographer, Lori Fusaro, was having a video piece done on her by the AP and had asked my friend and me to be a part of the project.  Riggins and I got all dressed up to have our pictures taken and be interviewed about how much we adore Lori.  Riggins good friend Sadie (long-haired dachshund mix) and her mom Missy (my friend) came over in the morning and we were on our way.  It was a guaranteed fun time!  I’ve written about Lori before and tried to retell my story to the journalist on why I originally reached out to Lori without sounding crazy.  I think I sounded crazy.  Oh well.  If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck …

Nijo & Mckenzie - Mar 2014

Nijo & Mckenzie – Mar 2014

Riggins had a blast running around getting treats from his buddy Lori, posing like a champ, showing his friend Sadie how great it is to be off leash, and scouting out every left over food item from the Easter picnics that happened in the park the day before.  Missy and I were super happy to be part of the story about Lori.  She has captured such great memories for me of my Riggins/Wendy family!  Not to mention she is a really swell gal!  (You can read more about her here, and here)

Nijo - April 2014

Nijo – April 2014

I got home to a whirlwind of activity.  Bongo was going home, I had a meet and greet with a dog and her mommy and I had Nijo (golden retriever) coming to be dropped of for an 8 day vacation.  I’ve watched Nijo a couple of times most recently last Monday.  His mommy was hosting a Passover dinner and was worried Nijo would eat all the food out from under her guests.  He would have!  So Nijo came and spent the night with Riggins and me.  Today when Nijo’s mom got here I met her in the driveway and she said Nijo was too hot to move.  I saw that something was definitely wrong.  I got him out of the car and we put cool water on his paws and tummy.  He was able to get up and start walking to my back door but then collapsed.  It was time to take him to the emergency vet.  As fast as I could I got all the dogs in the house settled, grabbed my shoes, and hoisted Nijo into my car.  His mom sat in the back as I drove them to the emergency room.  The vet techs came out to carry him on a stretcher into the clinic.  That’s the last time I saw Nijo.  He passed away about a 1/2 hour later.  The vet immediately gave him fluids but while trying to take an EKG watched his heart stop multiple times.  They tried doggie CPR but poor Nijo’s body just couldn’t take anymore.

Nijo - Jan 2014

Nijo – Jan 2014

Nijo was a cancer survivor.   A month or so ago he came to visit and had just had his 1 year cancer free check up.  Everyone was very happy for him.  I teased him that he took more pills than I did, which is quite an accomplishment!   Nijo was about 11 years old but wanted more than anything to be active.  I took him on short walk/hikes that he loved!  He always wanted to go for longer than I was willing to chance with him.  Like all my other Goldens he loved chilling out on the kitchen floor where it is cooler and that was where he napped and sometimes even slept.  He was a sloppy eater but would eat anything and everything and an even sloppier

Sweet Nijo

Sweet Nijo

drinker.  I would have to remove the little mat I have under the dogs water bowl when he was with me and replace it with a giant towel that had to be switched out daily.  Like all my dogs I loved Nijo and I’m very shocked and sad that he is gone.

Nijo was a super loved boy and I know his family will miss him but were lucky to have such a sweetie with them for the time that they did.

I STILL Love Shampoo

10 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

Lester not enjoying being clean.

Lester not enjoying being clean.

Remember that one time when I tried to go “poo-less?”  No?  I’ll give you time to go back and re-read (link here).  I still have nightmares.  I fell like I’ve been hearing more about the idea that you don’t need to use soap to be clean and, instead, let your body self regulate.  I don’t need to be that natural.  No one needs to be that natural.  I hate to break it to you but people are animals and do you know what happens to unwashed animals?  They stink!

I feel like those that demand they can go without shampoo have never washed a dog.  Every time I lather up one of the pups that is staying with me I’m AMAZED at how

Maisie not enjoying being clean.

Maisie not enjoying being clean.

disgusting they are.  As far as I’m concerned that’s all the proof I need.  I’ll push, shove, beg, coerce the dog into the shower and then rinse him off.  The water coming off the dog seems relatively clean and the whole time I’m thinking, “Wow.  This isn’t bad.  Maybe he wasn’t that dirty after all.”  THEN I add shampoo and after a good scrub my second rinse is a different story.  It’s a mud slide of filth coming off that mutt.  It’s amazing the difference between just plain “rinsing off” and actual “scrubbing off.”  I figure if it’s true for a dog it’s gotta be true for me.

Now I admit a dog has fur and I have hair but is it really all that different?  No.  Filth is filth.  Of course I’m not as disgusting as the dogs.  It’s not like I see a dead decaying critter and think, “Man I gotta get that smell all over me.” and go rub my head all over

Hank not enjoying being clean.

Hank not enjoying being clean.

the death and dirt.  I don’t pee on myself nor do my friends pee on me.  In general I shy away from rolling around on the ground.  BUT the fact still remains that you get cleaner with soap then without it.

I suppose it is drying and harmful in other ways but that is why you use moisturizer.  I’m the QUEEN of lotion.  I can guarantee I put way more soothing creme on my body than you do.  That’s a topic for another blog.  For now I just need you to know that I support the use of shampoo and based on my very detailed and scientific research of dog washing I think you should too!

Bare Feet are Gross

12 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Good dogs (don't pee in my house)

Good dogs (don’t pee in my house)

I’m a huge supporter of shoes.  I think I’ve told you before that I believe the barefoot running fad is bullshit.  The “our early ancestors ran barefoot so it is more natural” argument is invalid as soon as you factor in that those folks died when they were in their early twenties.  Perhaps doing everything they did isn’t the best way to live a long, healthy, and productive life.  I’m not a fan of having to take my shoes off to come into your house either.  I’ll do it if it’s “house rules” but I’m not overjoyed about it.  Usually my feet are in no position to be seen au naturel and my outfit has been specifically coordinated to some crazy high heel that makes my Bar Method legs seem inhumanly long.  What is the point of looking Amazonian if you can’t top it off with enormous high heels?  Taking those away from me, especially in a social situation, is like cutting Samson’s hair.

I also don’t like flip-flops (or thongs depending on where you grew up and what you learned to call them).  First of all they are barely even shoes.  Secondly, I can’t stand any shoe that jams something in-between my toes.  It’s horrifically uncomfortable.  Finally, I can’t walk in them.  I shuffle along like a 90-year-old man in the sauna.  I’m just incapable of giving any flip to my flip-flops.  They just drag along behind my toes.  It’s humiliating.

I like real shoes.  Shoes with high heals and closed toes.  Shoes with HUGE cork wedges.  Boots with zippers up the sides.  Sneakers that require you to wear socks.  I don’t do barefoot.  Until recently.  The past few months I’ve spent much of my time in my own house barefoot.  Something I would NEVER have done in the past.  Why?  Two things.  Really it’s one thing but the second thing is added on to make me sound less gross.

1.  I like to be barefoot when I go out back to make sure the cement isn’t too hot for the dogs.  Really this is only necessary when it is sunny — so always.  More than once I’ve had to “hot foot it” back to some shade or the house with the dogs on my heels.  If it hurts my feet it hurts theirs.  Actually they can go a little longer than me but not much.

Now lets face it … that is kinda a bs reason.  It’s a good reason.  It makes me seem like a loving caring dog person but it isn’t REALLY necessary.  It’s just cover up for the real reason …

Good dogs

Good dogs

2.  I can tell when a dog has peed in my house when I step in a wet spot.  Gross.  I know.  It’s gross.  BUT it is so necessary.  You gotta clean up the pee or it gets out of control FAST.  Some of these dogs are ninja pee-ers.  I can go into a room and come to a halt just by smell and scream WHO PEED??????  Sometimes though my sniffer is off and I can’t tell that something has happened.  Then I step in wet.  AAAAHHHHH!  I pause and think …. did I just get out of the shower … is there a logic reason this is wet …. nope.  I get down on all fours and smell than scream.  “GODDAMN IT.  WHICH ONE OF YOU PEED?”  It really sends me into a frenzy.  I hate it.  I grab the spray and a rag and go at it.  Spray spray spray.  Mop mop mop.  Repeat repeat repeat.  Grumbling the entire time until every dog is scared to come near me and cowering in different corners of the house.  Then, of course, I have to rinse off my pee detecting foot in the bathtub.

Luckily none of the pups I’m watching now are indoor peers.  I can safely go put shoes on.

Mother Nature’s Wash Machine

26 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

photo 2 (9)You know I dislike cleaning my house and since I have a zillion dogs coming in and out I have to do it all the time.  It’s exhausting.  Here is my current absolutely genius idea.  Starting tonight it is supposed to rain in Los Angeles for a few days.  It happens so rarely I’m sure it will make national news.  In fact, if I turned on the news right now I’m sure there would be some kind of “storm watch” countdown happening.  It just so happens my kitchen floor mats need to be washed.  Why don’t I just put them out on the back fence and let the rain wash them?  Then, when the rain stops, lay them out to dry? photo 1 (10) Isn’t that genius?  To tell you the truth my big mat has been hanging out there for a while already.  Someone peed on it and I cleaned it but felt like it needed to be aired out and then never brought it back in.  Not just anyone peed on it.  A dog peed on it.  It isn’t like one of my friends came in, pulled down her pants and squatted right there in front of my kitchen cabinets.  What I’m trying to say is this whole plan will take very little effort for me.  I’ll just have to add the little mat and then when it is all said and done bring them both back in.  Is there an easier way to clean a rubber backed kitchen mat I ask you?  Nope.  Great.  I’m glad we are all on board with this plan.

(Pictures of kitchen mats are boring so here are some pictures of Asscher, Riggins, and me on our hike this morning.)