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You guys I feel really stupid admitting this to you but I feel like I have to as a public service announcement.  It is important that you have all the information you need to make an educated decision and not follow the crowd blindlessly like I did.

As you know I’m somewhat addicted to Pinterest.  There is just so much to see and do and make and create!  If you are on Pinterest and blogs for any amount of time you will see that going chemical free is the hot thing to do right now.  I get it.  Chemicals bad.  Nature good.  Okay hippies.

While reading a few postings I was intrigued by those who went shampoo free or poo-less as the “in the know” people call it.  Let’s face facts here.  I’m not against chemicals and I’m pretty happy with anything that helps with anykind of scientific and/or human improvement.  It’s like the barefoot running shoes.  Stupid.  Don’t even get me started on those things.  Yes.  That is how people use to run.  Yes I can see how that would be “natural.”  You do realize when people lived and ran without shoes most didn’t see their 39th birthday right?  I like shoes.  I like thick, comfy, soled running shoes.  I even have custom-made insoles.  You really can’t go any less-bare foot running than that!  I feel the same about antibiotics and medicine in general.  Give it to me.  So I’m using chemicals to clean my hair.  So what?  I’ve never had any problems with my hair.

The thing is I do wash my hair almost daily.  If I was to be really honest it isn’t “almost.”  It’s daily.  Oh I know, you all gasped in horror.  Calm down.  You already know I sweat constantly and my sweaty hair is gross.  I can see if you aren’t a sweaty mess you can get away with just rinsing your hair once in a while but that just isn’t me.  Due to my extreme usage of the hair chemical cleaning mix (aka shampoo) I tend to have to purchase it often.  Which means cash. You know what I don’t have a lot of right now with no job?  Cash!  So I thought this poo-less route would be a great way to save cash.

image (5)A quick Google on how to make your own Wen (the poo-less product made famous by Alyssa Milano and other celebrities who show up on your TV pushing the products at odd times of the day) will yield you a pretty easy formula.  For “wash” you mix 1 tablespoon of baking soda with 1 cup of water.  For “rinse” you mix 1 tablespoon of vinegar with 1 cup of water.  Easy enough!  So I pulled the ingredients out of the cupboard and like any good sheep followed the flock down the rabbit hole.

It’s been two weeks.  My hair sucks.  Seriously it’s disgusting.  Apparently it takes 2 weeks – 2 months for your hair to re-balance and learn that it doesn’t have to produce so much oil since shampooing isn’t stripping it away.  Oh … I bought that pile of poo for a while and then yesterday sanity hit me right in the dirty head.  WHAT THE H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS WAS I DOING NOT WASHING MY HAIR?   It was flat and dull and oily.  Seriously I couldn’t stop touching it because I was amazed at how horrific it was.  Most bloggers who talk positively about ditching shampoo and will say things like, “I’ve been poo-less for two years.  People think I’m crazy when I tell them I haven’t used shampoo for that long.”  Yah … because you are crazy.  You probably smell a bit too.  On one blog I read one of the readers posted that she didn’t mind that her hair was dull and flat since it was so important for her to be chemical free.  Well it isn’t important to me!  I was just trying to save a few pennies.  One woman said she loved how she didn’t have to use styling gels anymore because her hair just held whatever style she wanted.  Of course it did.  Your hair is so dirty you practically have dreads.  It was easy for me to get my hair to stand up on end too …. until the weight of my dirty thick hair caused it to fall down and the oil helped plaster it to my head.

Yesterday it was making me so crazy I almost jumped into the shower at 3PM JUST to wash my hair.  Last night my scalp wouldn’t stop itching.  Now that I could see the light and was back to my normal logical self I was horrified at my own actions.

This morning I got up and RAN to the shower.  I covered my entire head not once but photo (7)twice with that evil bubble liquid.  It was pure bliss!  I didn’t stop there.  I was getting clean!  I used real conditioner than shaved my legs and pits using conditioner just as an extra double middle finger to mother earth.  I used Nivea sparkle liquid soap and had lovely sparkly suds everywhere.  I even used Summer’s Eve in the places you are supposed to use Summer’s Eve in.  Finally I used my good ol’ Target No. 7 face wash!  EVERYTHING WAS SOAPY AND ON IT’S WAY TO BEING CLEAN.  After a long long long rinse I broke through the chains to once again be a Shampoo user and survivor!

I can’t even explain how much I’m in love with the feel of my hair right now!  It’s glorious.  So clean and fluffy and perfect (I’m in desperate need for a hair cut.  Ignore that fact for now.)  Such a relief!

Now I need to go clean my kitchen and you know what?  I’m going to pass over the hydrogen peroxide and vinegar for the Fantastic and Ajax.  I’m making it an all chemical day!  Now you have all the information you need to make a logical and informed decision about your chemical or chemical-free hair routine.  If you decide to ignore the lesson I learned and give it a shot, good luck to you.  I hope, whether you take the cheap-o homemade route or the super expensive same thing as homemade which means you don’t like chemicals but do like paying more for labels … the force is with you.