“Don’t wear a sweater.” – Thanks for that tip KNBC

You know in The Big C where Laura Linney’s character goes a little wack-a-doodle and starts digging a pool in her backyard?  I predict that will be me before the end of summer 2014 ends.  I don’t do well in super heat.  Riggins does not do well in super heat.  Based on all the evidence our summer in Los Angeles is going to be SUPER  HOT.  At some point I’m going to lose my mind to dehydration, grab a shovel, head to the back yard, and start digging.  Then I’m going to grab the hose and just let it fill up into a muddy wonderful mess so the dogs and I can splash around like cool little piggies.  To you it sounds like a mess.  It’s 91 degrees right now here.  To me it sounds like heaven.

Bear, Huxley & Jax seek shade on Runyon

91 DEGREES …. END OF APRIL …. 91 DEGREES.  For the next few days Los Angeles will be threatening record-breaking temperatures.  I’m not okay with that.  I live at the base of the LA Mountains.  A nice little piece of desert I like to call my own (well it’s someone else’s and I give them money to live on it).  The sun is drawn to this area and beats down on it with the power of … well … the sun.  Anything left out too long like awnings and lawn chairs are sun washed and faded.  80% of the neighborhood relies on succulents and cactus as their main garden features.  Even the “breeze” is bullshit as it is really just a hot gust of wind we call the “Santa Anas.”  All in all it is a hot mess.  Literally.

Pekka hits the pool.

Riggins is a black dog and almost 9 years old.  Those two things make him extra sensitive to heat, although most dogs can get heat exhaustion/stroke very fast.  It is something I have to be very careful of especially when hiking with the dogs.  Frankly I’d rather go out with the pups in the rain vs. high temperatures.  On hot days I eat enough flying bugs to hit my protein quota for the day.  When it gets as hot as it is now and will be for most of this week, our options of where we can go are very limited.  There aren’t a lot of hikes that offer shade or enough shade.  I also have to worry about the trail getting too hot for their sensitive paws and being able to hike with enough water.  Finally, although just as important, if it is a “red flag warning” day I need to be aware of not getting myself into a position where a brush fire could cause us issues.  It’s a real concern as any moment now the hills around me could go up in flames with a snap of my fingers (or some assholes cigarette thrown out the window — I saw a guy driving around Griffith Park recently throw a lit cigarette out the window.

Fredo is the king of chilax hiking!

STUPID STUPID STUPID.  Don’t do that.  That is a really bad move and could cause mass destruction and death given the right circumstances.  The hills are crazy dry right now.  One little spark and … poof!).  All in all it’s a pain in my butt.

Better for all of us to just stay inside and chillax (as my sister would say).   If you need us we will all be lying on the bed on top of the contents of the ice trays I will dump there.

Stay chill … or at least try.