To mix things up instead of reviewing a movie and giving you my thoughts on acting, plot, writing, and directing I’m going to share with you the thoughts I had prior to watching Up In The Air at the Americana at Brand this weekend.
* Is going to a mall the weekend before X-Mas just to see a movie a good idea?
* Hey. Parking wasn’t bad! I still say whoever put this “two merging lane twisty” parking garage entrance in Glendale was an extreme optimist or didn’t know the lack of driving/merging skills of the Glendalians.
* (As I stepped off of the last escalator) Good lord. Where did all these people come from? It’s like god threw up humanity all over this place. I can see the light of the theatre. Let me through …
* NO LINE AT THE AUTOMATED TICKET MACHINES — MERRY X-MAS TO ME INDEED!
* NO LINE AT THE CONCESSION STAND. IT’S LIKE MY OWN LITTLE X-MAS MIRACLE!
* Good, not that many people so no one will sit by me.
* (A few minutes later …) I said no one would sit by me. No one would sit by me. Don’t sit by — damn it.
* That Benihana’s commercial makes me giggle every time. Makes me giggle and want to drink mixed cocktails from a Buddha mug!
* The creative agency who made the National Guard spot deserves some sort of award. It is mighty powerful. I would never join any armed (or non-armed) forces. Honestly it would take about 1 hour before I started a one woman coup and went AWOL. AND EVEN I get 1/2 way through that spot and want to scream, “where do I sign up?” You know what they should do? They should hand out sign up sheets and little miniature golf pencils as you walk into the theatre and then have army guys stationed at the end of each aisle and the second you sign and date the paper they sweep in and grab it from you before you come to you senses and eat the evidence.
* Good thing this Walmart/Coke spot is seasonal because it annoys me. They should get the creative shop that the National Guard uses to look this thing over.
* I’d date Alec Baldwin. I mean he is old and crazy but doesn’t he look like he would be fun for a couple dates? You know before super crazy kicks in.
* What movie am I here to see again? Oh right.
* I bet I’d be good at George Clooney’s character’s job in this flick. I mean his life looks lonely and horrible … hence the movie and all the award buzz around it (you don’t get award buzz unless something is tragic) … so I’m not saying I want that job I’m just saying I might be good at it. If this was High School and I was taking that test that tells you what you could be good at “when you grow up” I bet you money my test results would head closer to “lay off people” than “school teacher”.
* Apparently there are no unattractive people in whatever town Valentine’s Day is filmed in.
* Okay why am I the only person laughing out loud at the Death at a Funeral trailer? That movie looks hysterical.
* Seriously what did I come here to see again? Oh right. Clooney.
* Was From Paris with Love filmed in 1982 and is just now coming out? What is with the crappy production quality. Did they do that on purpose to look all “arty” … sigh … I bet they did … sigh.
* Hey! Leonardo DiCaprio is finally beginning to look older than 18. Good for him!
* MOVIE’S STARTING. WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!