I’ve posted about my experience at The Bar Method before. That was a few months ago and I must tell you I haven’t gotten any better at the exercise. It’s horribly upsetting. HOW CAN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT MUCH AND NOT GET BETTER? I blame my complete lack of natural athletic ability. I don’t get any better at my 5K’s nor does climbing Runyon ever get any easier. It’s just the way it is.

It’s so sad. My teachers often look at me and shake their head and “tsk” in disgust (okay that is probably just all in my head since the teachers are the NICEST people on the planet and are always encouraging and positive). It doesn’t help that I’m horribly inflexible and a natural klutz. Still I see results. My arms have started to gain definition (They better. Let me tell you I’m not doing those horrible reverse push ups because they are fun.) and my thighs and waist are toned up. I haven’t lost weight but I force anyone around me to touch my thighs, calves, arms, abs, and if they are lucky, butt so they can feel for themselves that I’m not full of it … that’s muscle. In some horrible karmic joke that mother nature, God (or the Gods), and science has played on us muscle weighs more than fat. Yah … doesn’t make sense to me either.

My goal is to be one of “them.” One of those beautifully fit and toned Bar ladies (and a couple men). Faux ballerinas (some are actually ex-ballerinas which makes the faux part a little easier for them) with 0% body fat and the ability to stand up straight without constant reminding. The Bar Method advertises lean tapered legs, core strength, reduced inches, great posture, sculpted arms and seat (aka butt), an overall body sculpting work out. The teachers I’ve had are all that and more. It’s sickening. Seriously 90 lbs soaking wet (and there are a couple that wouldn’t even hit that on the scale), not an inch of fat, and the flexibility of a circus freak. THAT’S MY GOAL!

Last night after leaving class a woman walking by asked if the classes where any good. I gave her my sales pitch and her response is, “Yeah. You all look so toned and have those great round asses.” SHUT IT. DID SHE SAY “ALL OF US” AS IN ME TOO? I think she may have been blinded by the Bar uniform (black leggings, tank, sports bra, sweat) and confused me as one of them. I mean take a look at the picture above. Not bad (seriously all muscle — touch it) but it isn’t this (click). Not yet!

Still I’m going to pretend when I go to class tonight that I am one of “them!” I’m going to pretend that I won’t have to re-set in the middle of thigh or I’ll throw up. I’ll be happy not ready to kill, when the instructor tells us we are doing something called “pretzel” for butt exercise. I’ll rejoice in the fact that I can now touch my toes and if I work hard enough may actually use the bar for stretch vs. the stall bar (aka loser bar) — (BTW this won’t happen. Don’t kid yourself. I’ll never be flexible.)

I’m going to pretend I am one of them!