Tag Archives: Exercise

Pain in the Side

26 Thursday Sep 2013

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After this week of Bar Method I have a serious ache in all the muscles around my mid section. A good ache. Every once in a while the instructor says “at the bar” and I’m giddy! Stretch “at the bar.” Pretzel “at the bar.” Curl “at the bar.” All the “at the bar” options target different muscles or the same muscles deeper, than their non bar sibling. Early this week we had an “at the bar” day and my waist muscles still hurt. There is nothing better than feeling like you worked that horrible mid section” area. That big blobby area between your boobs and your hips.

I’m a wimp during certain exercises or stretches until the instructor tells me it targets and slims my waist. Then I’m all in. Lay down and cross your right leg over your left. Grab your ankles and lift them up to you ears than down. Ummmm. I’ll pass. Until she tells me it will slim my waist and then I’m happy to contort myself into the ridiculous pose! Those are my magic words!

I don’t feel like you understand my pain so this is what I would like you to do. Head to the closest Bar Method class. This requires some of you to fly to the US or Canada. Worth it. Then keep going to class until you hit an “at the bar day.” It isn’t a popular teacher choice so it could take a while. No worries. It will give you time to perfect your technique. Then call me the next day so we can talk about how it now hurts to breathe.

What I do for beauty. It’s amazing.

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The dreaded word: Exercise – Guest Blogger

06 Monday May 2013

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I realize you may be sick of me preaching about how great Bar Method is and forcing you to look at a zillion pictures of Riggins and me.  Today I decided to mix things up and have you listen to my good friend Michelle talk about her exercise of choice and show you pictures of her and her dog, Buddy!  Recently I went with Michelle (and her friend Olga — more about her in the post below) to a dance (salsa-y) aerobic class and it was a blast.  Generally during my exercise time I tend to put my head down, concentrate, breathe and focus for the hour or so.  Michelle may be onto something with the whole “have fun while you are doing it” idea!  I’ll pass it to Michelle to tell you more about her work-out philosophy —-

The dreaded word:  Exercise

First, let me clarify.  I don’t dread exercise itself.  I actually enjoy physical activity.  But I want it to be FUN.  I want it to be something I look forward to doing.  I don’t want to ever feel like it’s something I have to do.  Simply put, I don’t want it to feel like “exercise”.

My entire life, I’ve always done some sort of physical activity (note that I’m not using the word “exercise”).  Growing up, we lived outside of town so if I wanted to see my friends outside of school, I typically rode my bike.  In high school, I dabbled in track and basketball until I found my favorite sport – soccer.  In college, my physical activity consisted of walking to and from class, and up and down State Street to the various bars and fraternity parties (it was a pretty big campus so there was a LOT of walking).

Michelle & Buddy - Photo taken by Lori Fusaro

Michelle & Buddy – Photo taken by Lori Fusaro

But later in life, in my 30s, I had to come up with something new.  I always enjoyed being outside.  And I grew up with animals.  So I decided it was time to get a dog – THAT would ensure physical activity – I would take the dog on daily walks!  For the next 13 years, my beloved dog Buddy and I went on regular walks – about a mile and a half up to 5 times a week.  But as Buddy grew older he started to slow down a bit, and at the same time I entered my 40s.  Daily walks weren’t going to cut it.  I needed to change up my exercise routine or my waistline was going to start – and continue – to expand.

One day, one of my employees suggested I try Zumba.  “What’s Zumba?” I asked.  She explained that it’s like aerobics but with variations of Latin dance, usually with Latin music.  Well, that sounded pretty good to me!  I love to dance!  Another appealing aspect was that Zumba is offered in a class setting.  I live alone, and at work I sit in a private office with limited interaction with others.  It can be very isolating, almost depressing at times.

I wasted no time getting online to find the nearest Zumba class (www.Zumba.com).  Lucky for me, classes were offered at a gym only a few blocks from my house.  I could request a free 7-day pass and take at least 3 classes for FREE!  Sounded good to me!  Three classes later, I was hooked and joined the gym.

To me, Zumba is like a dance party with your girlfriends sans the tequila.  (Yes, the classes are mostly women – men should get a clue!  Hot, fit women in tight workout gear swinging their hips!)

Michelle and Olga

Michelle and Olga

But the most unexpected benefit of this “exercise” was the friendships I formed in the classes.  At my age, most of us already have an established circle of friends; our closer inner circle and our more casual extended circle.  We’re not necessarily looking to add to those circles.  I never would’ve expected that within a year I’d meet someone who I now consider one of my closest friends.  Olga and I are around the same age, both single, love travel, dance, good food and wine, and live just two blocks from each other.  How great is that?  We’re even planning a trip to Europe in the fall.

Having friends in class REALLY helps motivate me to go on those few days when I’m just not in the mood.  I look forward to dancing with them, sweating with them, and often going for coffee or a cold drink after class.

I guess the moral of my story is:  “Exercise” doesn’t have to be a dreaded activity.  It’s all a matter of finding something you genuinely enjoy – walking your dog, dancing with friends – that achieves the same results yet doesn’t feel like “exercise”.  And who knows what unexpected benefits you’ll find along the way!

Bar Method – Connecting my Brain with my Body

02 Thursday May 2013

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I’ve written a lot about Bar Method (here, and here, and here, and here), so you know it is my exercise of choice. You also know that it was not/is not easy for me! When I took my first class on 9/8/2009 I was super cocky. After all I was a triathlete. What did I have to fear? I promptly almost threw up 1/2 way through class! After nearly passing out I walked out of class into the waiting room where one of the owners (although I didn’t know that at the time) Kate, came out to check on me and Mason (who I also didn’t know at the time and wasn’t even the super star teacher he is now) promised me it got easier. I must have looked as bad as I felt.

Just a small sampling of the classes I've attended.

Just a small sampling of the classes I’ve attended.

Over the years I got better. Not great, but definitely better. I’ve admitted before I’m not at all flexible so it is a slow process for me. The day I could touch my toes I was elated. The day I got through all of thigh exercise without re-setting I was beyond happy. The day that one of the teachers said, “Oh my goodness Wendy you are at the tall barre.” I smiled like a cheshire cat. All of these things were HUGE accomplishments for me.

Last year I took a time-out from life (as you know). Due to travel and mental angst I didn’t go to class as often. When I left my job at the beginning of the year, I told myself that while I was looking for my new career I would take Riggins up Runyon and go to Bar Method as much as possible. My health and happiness was going to come first … dang gumit!

Going back “full-time” to Bar Method was not easy. I re-dedicated myself to 3 or 4 times a week. If I was insane, or it was raining and I couldn’t do other activities, I’d bump that number to 5. It took me a long time to get back to where I thought I had been before (minus the gumption to stay in thigh … man I hate thigh). It was heartbreaking how hard it had become again but I wasn’t going to give up.

This week I made myself a vow to step it up to the next level. Riggins is still limping so my daily trips up Runyon or my run around Silver Lake isn’t happening. I have no excuse not to give 100% in my evening Bar Method classes. I can’t rely on the crappy excuse that I was up early spending an 1 and 1/2 hours hiking up and down a mountain with a dog or two, so didn’t have to work as hard. I needed to dive deeper into Bar to move to the next level. This week during class I realized what I had been missing. I was missing the mental aspect of class. It took me this long (4 months) to shake the self-doubt and general unhappiness I had last year and to refocus on what I was doing for myself. My body wasn’t the only thing in the game anymore. My head was back in it as well!

Concentrating really hard on controlling my shaking hand.

Concentrating really hard on controlling my shaking hand.

Let me tell you it is tough! I’m back to hurting every day after I work out. Something somewhere hurts every day. The good hurt. When I leave the parking lot and put that little parking ticket in the machine to let me out, my hand is still shaking from how hard I worked. Tonight I went to meet a friend for a drink and had a hard time holding the wine glass correctly without it slopping all over the place because of my STILL shaking body (1 1/2 hours after class had ended). What has changed exactly:

  • I force myself to always take the “extra challenge” in class. Extra challenges make the hard movements even more difficult. I’ve always been good at taking some but now I at least try them all … well most of them. I mentally give myself a point for every challenge I try, and two points if the instructor gives me a “wow Wendy” or “way to take the challenge Wendy.”
  • I demand that I can do better for each move that I hate. Thigh in wide second …. hate … go deeper. Pretzel … hate … move my knee back further. Arabesque … hate … get that leg higher. I’m constantly trying to check to see if I’m doing the most I can. It’s a pain in the butt … sometimes literally. It IS not easy to keep that up for an entire hour. I can also feel more of my muscles working beyond just the “main” ones that exercise focus’ on which means overall I’m getting more bang for my buck.
  • I try to stop caring about the counting (just get me to the last number … please) but instead try to listen to the music. This was suggested by the founder of the Bar Method in her last blog. It is working for me. She suggested it for thigh … I haven’t mastered it for that section yet. I’m in too much pain. In general if I feel I can’t keep up the level I’m at for any longer I try to listen to the music. This doesn’t work when that Barbara Streisand song is playing. That thing cracks me up and I have to tune it out.
  • I don’t give a shit that I’m not the most flexible, strongest or best in the class. I’m not. Nor am I the youngest, skinniest or prettiest. Who gives a flip? It use to really bug me that I would get so sweaty during class while the adorable young 20 something year olds glide through the movements with obvious ease and nothing past a lovely “glisten” covering their brow. I was the dancing hippo next to the lovely gazelles. I would get upset when I would read a review about the Bar Method that says it’s great that you don’t get sweaty. Were they on crack? And really what an odd thing to say, “this is a great exercise you work so hard you don’t get sweaty.” I get sweaty. Granted I get sweaty doing anything … a n y t h i n g … but that doesn’t make me any less of a bar-er ball-er. Now I purposely try to work so hard I HAVE to change my top after class because I’m such a sweaty mess.
  • I always use to play mental games with myself while I was running why didn’t I do that in class? Sometimes I pretend if I can stay in thigh the entire time the cute guy from Match.com will write me back (never works but it’s a good way to push myself). I will pretend that my friend I’ve been trying to get to come to class is behind me and I have to show her how it’s done.
  • I try to act as if the teacher is always watching me … the thought that they are makes me work harder.

None of this is earth shattering. In fact it’s odd I didn’t put two and two together months ago. Again I blame everything on my horrible last year. I obviously had to turn my brain off to survive and it’s starting to fire back up again!

One day I was walking back to my car after class and a young woman asked if I had been going for long. I said I had and then she asked if I ever feel like it is hard. Apparently she felt she didn’t get a workout and would now have to go to the gym. I told her she was doing it wrong. I was a little nicer than that but not much. I feel the same way when people leave negative reviews online (there aren’t many). It’s easy if you want it to be. Get your head in the game, and mind your positioning (aka do it right) and you will be shaking when you put the parking ticket in the machine too! If you aren’t feeling it you are letting yourself do it wrong.

I have followed this new and improved work out plan for an entire 3 days! Ha! I feel like I’m getting more out of it and overall I’m prouder of myself and find myself standing up taller. The best thing of all? Now I’ve written it down so I HAVE to keep it up or I’ll not only disappoint myself but I’ll disappoint you and we can’t have that!

Please share any tips you have on getting to the next level of your exercise of choice. I’d love to steal them! AND … if anyone can give me tips on how to get through dreaded thigh during Bar Method class PLEASE enlighten me.

The current Pasadena instructors (and owners Kate & Liz).

The current Bar Method teachers at the Pasadena studio. Source.

(Bar Method studios are all over the US & Canada. I have been loyal to the studio located in Pasadena, CA and can tell you all the instructors there are wonderful. I’m not the kind of person who chooses the class she goes to because of who is teaching it but instead I go when it is the best time knowing no matter who the teacher is, I’m going to be getting a good one. The two owners of the Silver Lake, CA studio used to teach at Pasadena so I can tell you they are also pretty brilliant.)

Ignorance & KT Tape

26 Friday Apr 2013

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photo (3)I’m not an athlete (not the first time I’ve said this to you).  Just because I do athletic things sometimes does not mean I’m an athlete.  In high school I was that kid that did well in archery … and that’s it.  My sister was on the long distance running team but at that time you couldn’t get me to run longer than a mile if my life depended on it.  I recently attended my friend’s daughter’s (college) softball game.  I was mesmerized by the speed of the balls being whipped around.  As my friend’s daughter fearlessly ran, jumped, reached, leapt, and fell to get to the ball screaming past her, I turned to my dad, who was with me, and said “no way!”  No way would I EVER put myself inline with that speeding projectile!  If that thing was coming toward me I’d duck screaming my lungs off.  Not an athlete.

Later as an adult, as I got submerged into real life, I turned to exercise to help relieve stress.  Fitness was a welcome and happy side effect.  I now try to work out 6 days a week.  Again I’d like to point out working out on a regular basis does not make me an athlete so it seems completely unfair that I should sustain injuries like they do.

2 or 3 years ago I managed to get a stress fracture on the top of my left foot.  It’s a fairly common injury for runners and, at the time, I was running a lot.  Alas I didn’t land wrong while running around the Rose Bowl.  Nope.  I landed wrong when I misjudged the steps in the jacuzzi at Burke Williams (a local spa chain).  The doctor had me off my feet for 6 weeks and in one of those ugly black stabilizing shoes.  It was a drag.  Once you have had a stress fracture you are kinda screwed.  It tends to be recurring which explains why my foot has been hurting lately.  Pisses me off.  The correct thing to do would be to keep off of it, stop exercising, and pull out that ugly shoe from the back of my closet.  It just sounds so annoying and boring I don’t want to do it.  Instead I’ve been slapping some KT Tape on it and relying on the magic I know it possesses (btw – KT Tape doesn’t stick as well if you useimage (8) coconut oil as a moisturizer.  Even after washing a few times and pouring rubbing alcohol on your foot it still contains traces of coconut oil and causes the magic tape not to stick.).   Then I can continue to hike with the dogs and stay on tippy toe during Bar Method thigh exercises.  I can compromise and ditch the little running I’ve been doing.  Lately my shoulder has been bothering me too.   Completely unfair since I haven’t been swimming (sniff — I miss swimming).  So if someone could come over here and tape that up for me I’d appreciate it!  Just don’t make me wear that ugly shoe!

Have a Great Weekend!

Magic Oil

04 Thursday Apr 2013

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Coconut oil is magic. I know this because Pinterest told me so and Pinterest would never ever lie to me. A quick Google or Pinterest search should give you an impressive list of uses for this magic oil, many of which I wouldn’t try because I would never think of it and/or the use is just dumb. For example, many will list it as a natural sunscreen of a huge giant SPF of 4ish. 4???? 4???? I slather spf 70 on my face and 50 on my body and I still manage to get burned/tanned/sun damaged. 4???? Don’t make me laugh. I suppose if I was stranded on a desert island with no hope of rescue I’d take a coconut and rub it all over me just to pass some time, but really that’s it.

There is also lots of advice on what kind of coconut oil you should use. I bought the Trader Joe’s a couple of times. The bottle contains the buzz words “organic” and “virgin” so it sounded good to me. Last time I purchased some I was too lazy to make a trip to Trader Joe’s so tossed the brand they have at Ralphs into my cart. The only ingredient listed is coconut oil so that was good enough for me. Works fine. I see/feel no difference.

My use for coconut oil is limited to my hair and body. I tried cooking with it once but it was annoying to measure and liquefying took patience I just don’t have as a chef. Coconut oil will be solid in most of our homes only liquefying at 77 degrees-ish (I could be wrong on the exact temperature … I said “ish” to remain safe and honest.) and above. Before I use it I usually stick the container under some hot running water to liquefy enough for me to slather all over myself. One genius blogger said she keeps hers in the shower and by the time she is finished getting clean it is warm enough to use. Brilliant! That’s now where mine is kept.

Here are my main reasons I like coconut oil:

  • It’s a wonderful hair conditioner. Kinda brilliant in fact. Before going to bed slap some on your head and work it into your scalp/hair. The next morning, after rinsing it out, you will be amazed at your soft locks. The first thing people ask is how you can sleep in bed with a head full of oil. For one, you aren’t dipping your head in it. You put some in your hand and work it around. There isn’t enough to cause any problems. If you don’t believe me put a towel on your pillow. My other tip, if you are worried, do this the night before you change your sheets.
  • As a skin conditioner it works really well. Not the best in the land but pretty good. In fact it has helped the bumps on my upper arms. In the past I’ve used keratosis pilaris lotion along with any other lotion I could get my hands on. Nothing worked that well. The KP lotion was the best but it kinda smells like you are burning your skin off. The other day I noticed that after using coconut oil for a couple of months the bumps are a lot less noticeable. Plus it is much nicer to smell like a mai tai then a burn victim.
  • The number one reason I like using coconut oil for a skin moisturizer is that it makes Round back with Riggins. Strong leg and ab Bar Method muscles allows you to put your dog with your feet!doing round back in Bar Method easier. Hear me out. There is an exercise in Bar Method called round back that targets slimming and elongating your legs as well as working your arm and abs. You sit in front of the wall with your butt a foot or so away so you can lean back against the wall on your shoulders. Then you put one floor flat on the floor and the other lifted as high and as straight as possible. Finally you push both your hands up into the barre over your head. I think round back is one of, if not the most, effective leg tapering exercises in Bar Method. Unfortunately you do need the barre so it isn’t something you can do at home. Anyway, once your leg is as high and as STRAIGHT as you can get it you go through a series of lifts and extends that test your mental endurance not to mention make the top of your thigh (among other things) quiver with the intense effort. In between the 30 one inch lifts or 40 small extends or 30 tiny circles you get to hold back on for a 1/2 of a second to your ankle for a quick reset. This is where coconut oil comes in. when I use lotion on my legs, even if it is hours before, the lotion is doing its job and therefore my hand slips right off my leg. I can’t get a grip which means no short time-out for me! Coconut oil will soak completely into your skin. This doesn’t happen right away so don’t run to take as shower, cover yourself in oil, and then get angry at me because you are all slippery. Give it 30 minutes or so and you will no longer feel like a human slip and slide. Coconut oil allows me to get a firm grip on my ankle and take that miniscule time out that gets me through the rest of the exercise.

    The correct way to do round back. If you are super fancy, like the founder of Bar Method in the blue tank, you can be cool and put your non-working let straight out vs. on the floor. Source.

    source


So there you go! Give the stuff a shot and let me know why you like/hate it.

Tata Talk

14 Thursday Mar 2013

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If you are worried about this break from the 39 Acts of Kindness, don’t be. I’m working on putting together some great St. Patrick themed fun! I’m excited to tell you about them but this isn’t the time. Right now I am preoccupied with my boobs.

You heard me.

photo (3)6 months ago I had an irregular mammogram which lead to another mammogram and then a sonogram and then a biopsy. I still have the scar from where they stuck a needle to take out a chunk of me to investigate further and put a metal marker in its place. They put the marker in so during future exams if there is a question about that same area, it shows that it was already examined. My mom was treated for breast cancer just a couple of years (or maybe it was one) early so I was shocked (and thrilled) that the test came back negative. Like any other lady part test if you fail once you have to go back every 6 months for a while and today is my lucky six month boob check anniversary. I’m glad I’m going since I’ve had some pain (not double over and die pain but, “hey that kinda hurts” pain) and a very odd skin infection (at least that is what the dr thought) in/on my boob(s). I’m sure it’s nothing but it is always better to know and, if needed, get treatment, then sitting around twiddling your thumbs as your body rebels against you. Luckily, I’m getting a sonogram not a mammogram. Although I don’t think mammograms are nearly as horrible as people say. Some would say it hurts less because I have big boobs while others would say it should hurt more because I have big boobs. Whatever. They only get squished for a second and then it’s on with your life. Lesson — go get a mammogram.

While we are on the topic of my boobs, let me tell you about my movie theater trips. They involve my tatas. My movie theatre uniform is work out pants, tennis shoes, sports bra, tank top and hoodie. Each clothing item has a purpose. Work out pants are just comfy and allow for wiggles and leg shifting without any difficulty. Tennis shoes are nice since they cover your entire foot protecting it from the goopy gross floor. Sports bra and tank top are the comfy equals to the pants and the hoodie allows for me to cover my head and lean my head back without touching the back of a gross chair (gross in so much as a zillion other grimy and greasy haired owners have leaned against it in the past). Plus the hoodie up gives the world my international sign of “I’m invisible. Don’t talk to me.” I started this at a job so I could maintain the HR suggested open door policy while still giving my employees the understanding that now wasn’t the best time … as I was invisible to them. I’ve since adopted it for plane rides and, if necessary, dog park outings. Of course none of these items covers my cleavage. In fact they allow for a clean popcorn runway right down my blouse. You’d be amazed at how often I miss my mouth and the popcorn makes a run for it right down my shirt. Constantly. Then I sit there in the dark theatre and dig it out hoping no one sees me. It adds to the entertainment of the show. Probably does so for others as well.

In general I have a sports bra coverage, cost, and support issue. First of all why are they so expensive? Someone needs to fix that. I have a zillion of the Target flimsy sports bras that really do nothing. I wear them at Bar Method. Since they do nothing I’m constantly giving someone a cleavage show when I bend over. The biggest problem with this is I really don’t care. Target sports bras are cheap and comfy so I’m wearing them. I’m not bouncing around all over the place in Bar Method I’m moving inches and breathing heavily concentrating on not throwing up. I’m too busy to care if someone is looking down my blouse. Most of the class is almost always women anyway so no one cares (I assume). Every once in a while a straight guy manages to find his way in and then he gets an extra show. Good for him. Welcome to Bar Method!

Today I’m going with my friend to her gym to do some sort of dance class. It’s a huge sacrifice for me not to go to Bar but she says it’s ridiculously fun so I’m trying it out. I had to dig through a giant pile of clean clothes to get one of my sports bras that actually have some holding power. I figured dancing equaled bouncing and the Target non-sports bra wasn’t going to cut it. Then I proceeded to put it on inside out 3 times. Not once, not twice, three times. Seems impossible right? Wrong. Totally possible. Each time I’d start laughing again as I tried to wiggle my way out and then wiggle, tug and pull my way back in. Sports bra (non clasp kind) are an X rated comedy sketch waiting to happen. It is NOT EASY to get those suckers on and off. You know where it is nearly impossible? The pool. It is actually almost impossible to put anything on in the pool locker room. Everything, including you, is moist and there is no way to get dry. So there you are standing in a moist room, with moist skin, trying to yank down a sports bra that has decided to go no further than your armpits. Once, at the pool, I failed so miserably at putting on a sports bra post swim and was laughing so hard at myself, I had to take a time out to go pee. Sports bra 1/2 on. One boob hanging out the bottom refusing to corporate and the other mashed at the wrong angle, mocking the other one. Thank goodness I was alone! That pool is frequented by JPL employees. Can you imagine? I could have failed at the simple task of getting dressed in front of an actual rocket scientist!

Well — I have to go get my boobs checked. Enjoy the boob-o-licious pics of Riggins and me. Due to the position of my chest and the angle of any self taken iPhone picture 90% of my Riggins/Wendy photos have my cleavage front and center.

 

On Your Left

19 Tuesday Feb 2013

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bike1Last Friday Riggins and I went up the hill with our friend Krissy. As we huffed and puffed Krissy explained to me how she is often amazed at how beautiful Runyon is and then remembers she hates exercise and grits her teeth, puts her head down to help focus, and curses violently. I told her that it was the same for me and not just on the hill but with any activity that causes me to sweat. She was shocked, based on the number of activities I do and how often, she assumed I loved all of it. Nope. There is always a point where the euphoria of doing something good for me wears off and I’m left with my head down cursing the world. The “sport” I have the biggest love/hate relationship is cycling.

Actually to call what I do cycling is a bit over dramatic. I ride my bike. That’s about as far as it gets. I’ve never loved biking but started going out on a regular basis when I was training for my first triathlon. Since then, when not in serious “get ready for a race” gear, I try to go out “for fun” once in a while. When you tell someone you have done triathlons (sprints — that’s key — the shortest of the tri sports) they will eventually tell you that the only leg they could/want to do is the bike. I’m the exact opposite. If there was a way to ditch the bike leg for another lap around the lake I’d be extremely happy. There are a number of reasons the bike is my least favorite of the tri spots. First of all, I don’t really care. As you know my goal is to finish the race and not die. If I cared more I’d try harder. Secondly I don’t have a racing bike. I have an adorable and perfectly acceptable hybrid (my bike – http://papa-wheelies.com/product/10specialized-womens-ariel-9152.htm). The bike cost me exactly $0 but a ton of American Express points. Biking in a triathlon would be a lot easier in a better and more expensive bike. Problem is I can’t stomach spending thousands of dollars on a form of transportation I’m not in love with. Finally, I don’t clip in. Clipping in means that your special biking shoes are clipped in or attached to the pedals of your bike. This allows you to maximize your effort by passing energy into the bike when you push down AND pull up your legs. I’m essentially having to work harder since I waste my up leg motion.

All of that being said I do enjoy heading out on my bike, zooming around, and pretending I’m as fast as the once illustrious Mr. Armstrong. Here are my tips of having an enjoyable biking experience (if you want to take the word of someone who admits she isn’t any good at it):

  • Ignore others advice. This seems pretty pushy of me doesn’t it? Here is the thing … I’ve found that cycling is the douche’s sport. I have yet to be answered in the negative when I’m on a date and say to the guy next to me, “you are a cyclist aren’t you?” You can spot them from a mile away. They will happily download their pompous arrogant knowledge at you if you ask or not. I suggest ordering a double gin and tonic and tuning them out. This is the same group of guys who will tell you why it’s okay for them, as cyclists, not to follow the rules of the road and why it is always the cars fault if there is an accident. Just yesterday I almost creamed one of these fools who decided he didn’t have to stop at a four-way stop sign. As I broke suddenly to let the person not surrounded by a large hunk of metal, to continue on without me hitting him he was nice enough to start screaming and gesturing wildly at me. Douche.
  • bike3Cars are evil and in the car vs. bike fight the car always wins. I happen to live in an area of California where my insurance is crazy high simply because of the amount of accidents in my neighborhood. There is NO WAY I’m sharing a road with these fools! Instead I make my way to a bike path that parallels the Los Angeles River (see pictures). The fact that the douche cyclists don’t like this path makes it that much better. People here are usually very nice (or homeless and crazy) and it is an interesting juxtaposition between the cars screaming by on the 5 freeway and a little piece of nature with the river and it’s birds and plants. The LA River bike path (at least the portion I use) starts at Griffith Park’s soccer field and weaves it way toward downtown Los Angeles. It takes you away from Burbank, through Glendale and Silverlake, and into Elysian Valley, known as FrogTown. At one point there were so many frogs in the river in this area they would make their way, hopping, out into the streets. The entire route is covered in murals (and tagging — in case you want to brush up on your gang knowledge) and art. Each gate to and from the river is a pretty iron fence with animals from the river included in the design. Like me, I suggest finding a spot where cars aren’t allowed or at the very least the bike path is wide enough that it gives you some protection against drivers.
  • Despite my inability to allow myself to spend oodles on a bike, safety equipment is a must. Even on my bike path that is mostly flat, a helmet should be worn. I’ve almost wiped out a number of times due to other humans on the path. Once a “filming crew” (as in they had a camera and no permit) member ran down the bank into my path just as I was coming out of a blind corner. I almost hit him and that would have caused my body more harm than his. Somewhere there is an independent film with me cursing widely at the camera. Another time on one of the few downhills I came, very quickly, upon a group of cyclists who decided it was a good idea to stop and block the path at the bottom just when your speed hits the fastest. I nearly wiped out as I tried to slow the bike and grabbed onto railing to really stop as fast as possible. They heard some key curse words as well. There are many stories of real cyclists who fall, especially on a downhill, when there is nothing but the road and speed to blame. A helmet has to be worn. Biking gloves are also a good purchase. Finally get yourself some cycling pants. I realize walking around with a giant pad in your crotch can make you feel foolish but believe me you will be glad you did. I don’t know why they don’t just add the padding to the seat and be done with it. Since they don’t, add it yourself via your shorts. Your butt will thank you.
  • bike2Remember that if you go away from your starting point you have to get back to it. Don’t go so far that you won’t be able to make the trip home. My bike path is slightly downhill at first which gives you a false sense of security. When you turn around to go back the slight uphill is a killer. Be aware of where you are and how you are going to get back. My path is around 12ish miles. Honestly anything longer than 15 makes me want to cry. It is about 3/4’s of the way back when I start looking down and cursing the sport for torturing me. It happens every time!

Don’t Sweat It

06 Wednesday Feb 2013

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I strongly dislike people who don’t sweat. Probably because I’m horribly jealous of them. What bliss their lives must be to not have to worry what kind of fabric covers their arm pits while I have to constantly keep in mind that the material must look the same wet as dry. I can’t even think about wearing white. Pit stains are a bitch.

When I say I sweat a lot it isn’t an exaggeration. Really. Ask anyone. I have to use my napkin to wipe my brow if I eat salsa even a tiny bit spicy. Dancing makes my hair look like it’s soaked mid-wash. Basic life activities can cause my body to cry out of every pore. Can you imagine what I’m like exercising?

I’ve read many articles about Bar Method being a “sweat less” activity. A great thing to do on your lunch break with no need for a shower post work-out. Pisses me off. Within 15 minutes of class sweat is dripping off my nose and plopping onto the carpeted studio floor.

Running. Forget about it. Drenched.

Hiking. I’m a walking salt lick for Riggins.

Swimming. Oh how I love swimming. In the pool we are all equal. No one is starring at me thinking, “wow, that freak is going to die of dehydration.” No one can tell how much I sweat. The pool is the great sweat equalizer and that makes it beautiful!

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Walk This Way

14 Monday Jan 2013

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photo (1)This past weekend it has been FREEZING in LA.  I don’t care what others in the country think about that statement.  IT’S FREEZING.  We are not built for this cold weather.  I swear the only insulation my house has is whatever rat poop found its way into the walls and 90% of my coats are decorative (aka useless).  I can guarantee its warmer in your house in Minnesota than it is in my house in Los Angeles right now.  I’m frozen solid.

Anyway, since it’s ridiculously cold I went up Runyon with Riggins in the afternoon instead of the morning this past weekend.  I haven’t done that in forever.  New group of people!  Walking through the dirt parking lot I passed 3 young men.  One yelled out at me, “you look like you are a really good mom to that dog.”  He went on to say I looked very attractive and was sweet so he is my new BFF and I’ve decided afternoons are a much better time to hike!

As a good mom to my dog (he said it not me) I thought I’d pass on some of my walking/hiking knowledge to you!  At no charge!  Let me start by saying I am not a trained animal person but I have seen a number of “Dog Whisper,” “It’s Me or the Dog,” and “My Cat from Hell” so I feel like that, along with my own street smarts, is training enough.  Maybe we shouldn’t consider this real “rules” as much as “what Wendy thinks.”

Walking a dog on leash – My view is don’t do it if you don’t have to.  Dogs are crazy on leash.  In general a dog will want to protect his/her master and tethering the dog to you only makes that protective instinct worse.  When Riggins is bad on leash it’s because he perceives the crazy person/dog passing us to be a threat to me causing the guttural growl that translates into, “don’t mess with my Mama.”  I know very very sweet dogs that are a**holes on leash and being walked by their master.  (This is a good time to stop and say all my dog’s bad behavior and problems are my fault.  Isn’t that the first thing you learn in all those TV shows … it’s always the humans.)  Best to walk/hike in a location that allows off leash.  Of course you have to walk on leash most of the time so here are my tips:

* Get rid of that retractable leash.  Seriously.  I realize a good number of my friends use this type of leash.  I dare you to find one trained (aka not me) dog person that says walking on a retractable leash is ok.  They won’t.  It’s impossible to control a dog on that kind of leash.  Get a lead.

* Stop the sled dogs!  Don’t walk a dog with a harness on that allows him/her to pull with his/her full weight.  All dogs instantly become sled dogs in a harness.  Big or small you are just asking that animal to pull.  Use whatever equipment gives you control of the dog.  Riggins uses what I call his “walking harness.”  He hates it because he knows if he is bad it pulls around his arms … so don’t be bad.  (his looks kinda like this – http://www.amazon.com/Guardian-Gear-Harness-Large-Black/dp/B007E4S750)

* Why the giant stick weirdo?  Almost every person in my neighborhood walks their dog while holding a giant stick.  I assume to ward off other dogs from attacking theirs.  I’ve walked Riggins in this neighborhood for 6 years and NEVER ONCE had a dog attack either one of us.  Once — just once — a giant pitbull made it out of his gated backyard and came running toward Riggins and me at full force.  I stopped, held my ground, held up a “stop sign” with my hand and said “OFF.”  This was followed by a “SIT” (with appropriate hand single) and “GO HOME.”  The giant scary dog did exactly what I said.  EXACTLY.  Turns out that “scary dog” was really well trained (even if his humans didn’t know how to secure a gate).  This isn’t always going to happen.  I’ve known dogs to fight and know dogs and humans that have been hurt in the exchange but you carrying a stick really only makes it worse.  DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO SEE A HUMAN COMING AT YOU THE OTHER WAY WITH A GIANT STICK????  Seriously — you are asking for it.

* Walk pretty.  This is what I tell Riggins he has to do.  Walking pretty means beside me and a 1/2 step behind me.  Riggins is a champ at this (as long as it’s me walking him, he hasn’t seen a squirrel, cat or chicken — it’s happened — and doesn’t have to poop).  He often gets told he is a “good dog” from strangers when we are on a walk and  he is on his best behavior.  I really think what helped him most with this was having him run with me when he was younger.  I held the leash in a way that he had to pace right next to me and after a while of constant pace he had no choice but to fall in line.  A pooped dog is a well behaved dog!  That and a short leash.  A short leash just makes it easier for you to control your dog.  I use one that is a mix of long and short like this, http://www.arcatapet.com/item.cfm?cat=15069.

* Keep out-of-the-way!  This is going to be one not everyone will agree on but I read it somewhere and it makes sense to me.  When walking a dog and another dog is being walked coming at you the dogs should both be on the inside so that they pass one another with no human in between.  Looking from the front it would be, from left to right, human, dog, dog, and human.  I know this is a killer for some but a well behaved dog should have no problem with this.  Remember that a dog tethered to his/her master is going to be more aggressive with his/her “save my human” mentality.  If you, the fragile human, put your body between your dog and the other dog doesn’t it make sense that your dog will go crazy trying to get over and protect you.  If everyone remains calm two dogs can pass each other, quickly sniff, and move on.  Riggins gets a C+ on this.  He has NO PROBLEM when we are walking the neighborhood as long as the other dog doesn’t bark first.  Riggins is the anti-alpha so he waits to see how the other dog reacts.  Unless the other dog is tiny.  He will walk past a tiny barking dog like it’s nothin’.  He is also REALLY BAD at this when walking in certain locations like around the lake at Silver Lake (this is LA so it isn’t a lake as much as a reservoir with a giant chain link fence all around it).  Riggins learned to walk on my right side and come hell or high water that is what he is going to do around the lake.  That leaves him smashed between me and the small concrete burm/chain link fence.  I’ve tried to get him to the other side when dogs pass and have even pushed his butt over to make that happen but it doesn’t last long.  Luckily he is perfectly happy in his safe smushed position and really never even notices the other dogs on that walk.

* Lots of dogs are good.  My neighborhood has a good number of dogs but they are house dogs and don’t do much more than sit at home and walk around the block once in a while.  Their owners cross the street or go up a driveway or walk in someones lawn to get away from the big black dog and crazy woman coming at them on the sidewalk with no intention of moving.  In short most of the dogs aren’t socialized.  Silver Lake, for example, is dog heaven.  Most dogs are pack dogs and being with others is good for them.  Riggins is always much better behaved when on a walk in a high dog populated area.  When off leash and on a hike Riggins will happily fall in line behind whatever group of dogs he can find.

* Be cool man.  You want your dog to freak out?  You freak out.  Nothing annoys me more at the dog park than when two dogs get a little aggressive in their play and from all around the park you hear “NO NO NO NO NO, OFF OFF, NO , CHARLIE COOOOOMMMMMEEEE HHHHHEEEERRE, NO NO NO NO NO” usually in a high-pitched voice.  That only makes things worse.  I think we  can all agree that dogs feed off our energy so keep calm.

Wow this is a long post and I haven’t even gotten to my hatred toward the leash law on hiking trails and really probably lost most of you after the first paragraph so I’ll stop.  One final word.  I know I’ve been very lucky.  As much as I believe dogs can be trained and well-behaved I realize this isn’t always the case and a dog is an animal that, at any moment and for any reason, can use his/her teeth for evil.  After writing all this I’m probably going to be eaten by a labordoodle on my next walk.  If that happens I leave everything to Riggins.

Rad – No Matter What the Year

11 Friday Jan 2013

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20130111-181221.jpg I’m heading off to a friends house for the evening. After a heavy sigh I think I should get out of the costume I’ve worn all day and put on some big girl pants. Then I think, nah … Love me love my leggings.

If wearing thigh high sparkly leg warmers is wrong I don’t want to be right!