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Me Myself & Riggins

Tag Archives: crazy talk

Back to You in the Studio

16 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, heat wave, Los Angeles, news

CaptureI always thought I’d make a very entertaining on air news reporter.  I’m guessing the producer wouldn’t like me much but I can almost guarantee I’d be a viewer favorite.  One thing that always baffles me is how those people have so much to talk about in a breaking news situation when there is no new info to pass on to viewers.  As an example the Los Angeles area is in the tail end of a crazy heat wave right now.  Temperatures are triple digits and we are breaking records left and right.  Of course any weather activity at all is a HUGE story for local Los Angeles news folks.  Here is a taste of what it would be like if I was on on-scene reporter:

Bob – Let’s go out to Wendy.  She is on the streets of Los Angeles were the temperatures just hit a scorching 104.  What is happening out there Wendy?

Wendy – Well Bob it’s hot.  Real hot.  I’m sweating.  I’m starting to smell really bad too.  How is it in the studio?  Air condition working well there?

Bob – Yes it is Wendy.  You should get inside fast.

Wendy – You think?  Thanks for the great insight Bob.  That’s why you are an anchor and I’m out here hoping for the end of days.  (To onsite producer) What number am I in line for the anchor position?  I need to know how many people I need to knock off so I can sit in the comfy cool studio like ol’ Bob there.

Bob – Thanks Wendy.  We will be back to Wendy in the next hour to see how things are going.

NEXT HOUR

Bob – I’m told I HAVE to throw it to Wendy again.  As a reminder she is on the streets of Los Angeles where we have just broken a new heat record.

Wendy – You say “we” Bob but do you really mean “we?”

Bob – Ummm … Wendy … (to producer) What is she doing?

Wendy – I’m (bleep)ing hot Bob.  I’m moving this party to this here water fountain.

Producer off camera – She can’t go in the fountain.  Someone stop her.  George do something.

Wendy – George set the camera right there and come in here.  The water is fine.

Bob – Wendy is there anyone around you can interview?

Wendy – (Now screaming because mic was left on the side of the water fountain for safe keeping.) And ask them what Bob?  If it’s hot?  What they plan to do when the sun finally does land on top of them?  There isn’t anyone out here but us Bob.  It’s instant sunstroke.  George and I are dying for you out here just to report it’s hot.  I can report that from the air conditioning of the news van.

Bob – We seem to be having technically difficulties with Wendy’s feed.  Let’s take it back to the studio.

Wendy – Technical difficulties my (bleep).  The mic is melting.  If you want to call that a “technical” difficulty be my guest.

NEXT HOUR

Bob – (to producer) No.  I’m not doing it.  No.  Fine.  (To camera)  You guys asked for it.  Back to Wendy …. Wendy …. Wendy …. Wendy

Wendy – (holding camera in passenger seat of car while George drives through a McDonalds).  … with chocolate sauce.  Yah.  Oh and ask for a glass of ice.  I want to poor it down my blouse.  Stupid on-air dress code.  HEY BOB … WE’RE HEADING BACK IN TO SEE YOU AT THE STUDIO.  YOU WANT AN ICE CREAM?  Get Bob one too.  He is cranky and needs a treat to perk him up.  BACK TO YOU IN THE STUDIO.

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Succinct (concise – brief – laconic – compendious – short)

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, Riggins

photo (2)Wow I just scrolled down through my last few blog postings and I have to say I’m a bit of a windbag! That’s a lot of words. Personally I don’t like long blog postings. Unfortunatly for me it seems I’m incapable of being succinct. Imagine how Riggins feels. He has to listen to me all day!

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Psst … Come Here (For Real This Time)

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

bar method, Bar Method, crazy talk, Pasadena

Psst … come here … just come here … don’t look around … I SAID DON’T LOOK.ry=400  I want to tell you something.

I swear to you that a good number of businesses I pass on a daily basis are fronts for some money laundering or drug mob thing.  I mean come on.  I know the cost of a candle and the average rent of a store front and it just doesn’t add up.   One reason why I like it … math doesn’t lie.  I’m actually scared crapless of the stores and people in my neighborhood so I refuse to call any of them out by name.  Please don’t hurt me.

BUT I don’t live in Pasadena so it’s safe to call out one there right?  There is this bar next to a bar next to the Bar Method studio I go to (it’s actually insane how many bars are between where I park and the studio.  It’s just constant temptation to skip working out and enjoy a delicious gin and tonic instead) that I SWEAR has something shady happening.  I’m now convinced it is the hang out/business location of the Pasadena mob.  I don’t know exactly who and what makes up the Pasadena mob but I’m telling you they exist and can be found at the bar next to the bar by my Bar Method studio.  Why do I think that?  Well first of all there is ALWAYS a table reserved in the corner of the patio and 99% of the time it has one or more people sitting at it that I would not want to meet in a dark alley.   I’m sure they are perfectly wonderful and nice people (I said that just in case they are reading this and are thinking of putting me on some kind of “to kill” list) it’s just odd that no matter the day or temperature they are out there smoking, chatting, drinking, and going over paperwork.  Secondly, there are rarely a lot of people in the place.  Maybe I’m just walking by at odd times but I did eat there once (actually kinda nice) and it wasn’t very packed then either.  Finally it has a vibe.  An “you can come in and drink/eat here but we couldn’t care less one way or the other” vibe.

Mob I tell you.  It’s so weird.  Almost as weird as the homeless guy who hangs out on Colorado with his cat.  You heard me … his cat.  He has a cat!  His cat sits in his lap or next to him or alone on his blanket while his dad asks for money or leftovers from those holding Cheesecake Factory bags.  Give him the leftovers.  He has a trained cat for goodness sakes.  That’s impressive.

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Psst … Come Here

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Riggins

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

crazy talk, dogs, Hiking, Riggins

Before I start I feel like I should finish off yesterday’s post about hiking off leash.  It’s crazy and annoying that it’s illegal to have your dog off leash while hiking most mountain trails.  It’s a mountain.  What’s going to happen?  If you are a responsible dog owner (pick up the poop) and your dog is a well-behaved hiker (doesn’t wander too far off trail, continually checks in with you, and doesn’t harm fellow hikers) why can’t he/she be off leash?  I think I made a good case for how a dog is better behaved off leash in my last post so let me just add that it is not easy to hike with a dog leash in your hand.  It’s actually a royal pain in the bum.

I realize that those who want dogs on leash are technically, according to the law, in the right.  My question is why.  Are you afraid of dogs?  Fair enough.  I understand (I really don’t but I feel like I have to say that to win you over to my side).  Let me tell you how to safely pass a dog on a trail.  Walk by them.  That’s it.  Don’t look at them.  Don’t acknowledge them.  Just walk by them.  If a dog is off leash on a trail you aren’t the first human he/she has passed.  Frankly an off leash dog is the least of your ry=400animal/insect worries on a mountain hike.  Let me ask you what you would rather come across, a pack of domesticated dogs off leash or a gaggle (who knows what the real group term is) of blood sucking ticks.  AAAH.  I JUST GROSSED MYSELF OUT.  Ticks are EVIL vampire beings.  Blah.  So disgusting.  Do you remember that episode of House when that girl was really sick and no one knew why, except House who decided she had some gross tick related disease?  Then the pretty doctor (who is now a firefighter on another show) said that they checked everywhere and she didn’t have any ticks.  Then House raised an eyebrow and said, “everywhere.”  Then they checked and she had a tick on her who-haw!  AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  CAN YOU IMAGINE?????  If I ever have a tick on my who-haw kill me.  Seriously I will not be able to go on knowing that happened.  Glah.

This post has gotten widely off topic.  I need to start again ….

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Walk This Way

14 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Riggins

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, dog park, dogs, Exercise, hiking, Hiking, manners, Riggins, runyon, Runyon

photo (1)This past weekend it has been FREEZING in LA.  I don’t care what others in the country think about that statement.  IT’S FREEZING.  We are not built for this cold weather.  I swear the only insulation my house has is whatever rat poop found its way into the walls and 90% of my coats are decorative (aka useless).  I can guarantee its warmer in your house in Minnesota than it is in my house in Los Angeles right now.  I’m frozen solid.

Anyway, since it’s ridiculously cold I went up Runyon with Riggins in the afternoon instead of the morning this past weekend.  I haven’t done that in forever.  New group of people!  Walking through the dirt parking lot I passed 3 young men.  One yelled out at me, “you look like you are a really good mom to that dog.”  He went on to say I looked very attractive and was sweet so he is my new BFF and I’ve decided afternoons are a much better time to hike!

As a good mom to my dog (he said it not me) I thought I’d pass on some of my walking/hiking knowledge to you!  At no charge!  Let me start by saying I am not a trained animal person but I have seen a number of “Dog Whisper,” “It’s Me or the Dog,” and “My Cat from Hell” so I feel like that, along with my own street smarts, is training enough.  Maybe we shouldn’t consider this real “rules” as much as “what Wendy thinks.”

Walking a dog on leash – My view is don’t do it if you don’t have to.  Dogs are crazy on leash.  In general a dog will want to protect his/her master and tethering the dog to you only makes that protective instinct worse.  When Riggins is bad on leash it’s because he perceives the crazy person/dog passing us to be a threat to me causing the guttural growl that translates into, “don’t mess with my Mama.”  I know very very sweet dogs that are a**holes on leash and being walked by their master.  (This is a good time to stop and say all my dog’s bad behavior and problems are my fault.  Isn’t that the first thing you learn in all those TV shows … it’s always the humans.)  Best to walk/hike in a location that allows off leash.  Of course you have to walk on leash most of the time so here are my tips:

* Get rid of that retractable leash.  Seriously.  I realize a good number of my friends use this type of leash.  I dare you to find one trained (aka not me) dog person that says walking on a retractable leash is ok.  They won’t.  It’s impossible to control a dog on that kind of leash.  Get a lead.

* Stop the sled dogs!  Don’t walk a dog with a harness on that allows him/her to pull with his/her full weight.  All dogs instantly become sled dogs in a harness.  Big or small you are just asking that animal to pull.  Use whatever equipment gives you control of the dog.  Riggins uses what I call his “walking harness.”  He hates it because he knows if he is bad it pulls around his arms … so don’t be bad.  (his looks kinda like this – http://www.amazon.com/Guardian-Gear-Harness-Large-Black/dp/B007E4S750)

* Why the giant stick weirdo?  Almost every person in my neighborhood walks their dog while holding a giant stick.  I assume to ward off other dogs from attacking theirs.  I’ve walked Riggins in this neighborhood for 6 years and NEVER ONCE had a dog attack either one of us.  Once — just once — a giant pitbull made it out of his gated backyard and came running toward Riggins and me at full force.  I stopped, held my ground, held up a “stop sign” with my hand and said “OFF.”  This was followed by a “SIT” (with appropriate hand single) and “GO HOME.”  The giant scary dog did exactly what I said.  EXACTLY.  Turns out that “scary dog” was really well trained (even if his humans didn’t know how to secure a gate).  This isn’t always going to happen.  I’ve known dogs to fight and know dogs and humans that have been hurt in the exchange but you carrying a stick really only makes it worse.  DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO SEE A HUMAN COMING AT YOU THE OTHER WAY WITH A GIANT STICK????  Seriously — you are asking for it.

* Walk pretty.  This is what I tell Riggins he has to do.  Walking pretty means beside me and a 1/2 step behind me.  Riggins is a champ at this (as long as it’s me walking him, he hasn’t seen a squirrel, cat or chicken — it’s happened — and doesn’t have to poop).  He often gets told he is a “good dog” from strangers when we are on a walk and  he is on his best behavior.  I really think what helped him most with this was having him run with me when he was younger.  I held the leash in a way that he had to pace right next to me and after a while of constant pace he had no choice but to fall in line.  A pooped dog is a well behaved dog!  That and a short leash.  A short leash just makes it easier for you to control your dog.  I use one that is a mix of long and short like this, http://www.arcatapet.com/item.cfm?cat=15069.

* Keep out-of-the-way!  This is going to be one not everyone will agree on but I read it somewhere and it makes sense to me.  When walking a dog and another dog is being walked coming at you the dogs should both be on the inside so that they pass one another with no human in between.  Looking from the front it would be, from left to right, human, dog, dog, and human.  I know this is a killer for some but a well behaved dog should have no problem with this.  Remember that a dog tethered to his/her master is going to be more aggressive with his/her “save my human” mentality.  If you, the fragile human, put your body between your dog and the other dog doesn’t it make sense that your dog will go crazy trying to get over and protect you.  If everyone remains calm two dogs can pass each other, quickly sniff, and move on.  Riggins gets a C+ on this.  He has NO PROBLEM when we are walking the neighborhood as long as the other dog doesn’t bark first.  Riggins is the anti-alpha so he waits to see how the other dog reacts.  Unless the other dog is tiny.  He will walk past a tiny barking dog like it’s nothin’.  He is also REALLY BAD at this when walking in certain locations like around the lake at Silver Lake (this is LA so it isn’t a lake as much as a reservoir with a giant chain link fence all around it).  Riggins learned to walk on my right side and come hell or high water that is what he is going to do around the lake.  That leaves him smashed between me and the small concrete burm/chain link fence.  I’ve tried to get him to the other side when dogs pass and have even pushed his butt over to make that happen but it doesn’t last long.  Luckily he is perfectly happy in his safe smushed position and really never even notices the other dogs on that walk.

* Lots of dogs are good.  My neighborhood has a good number of dogs but they are house dogs and don’t do much more than sit at home and walk around the block once in a while.  Their owners cross the street or go up a driveway or walk in someones lawn to get away from the big black dog and crazy woman coming at them on the sidewalk with no intention of moving.  In short most of the dogs aren’t socialized.  Silver Lake, for example, is dog heaven.  Most dogs are pack dogs and being with others is good for them.  Riggins is always much better behaved when on a walk in a high dog populated area.  When off leash and on a hike Riggins will happily fall in line behind whatever group of dogs he can find.

* Be cool man.  You want your dog to freak out?  You freak out.  Nothing annoys me more at the dog park than when two dogs get a little aggressive in their play and from all around the park you hear “NO NO NO NO NO, OFF OFF, NO , CHARLIE COOOOOMMMMMEEEE HHHHHEEEERRE, NO NO NO NO NO” usually in a high-pitched voice.  That only makes things worse.  I think we  can all agree that dogs feed off our energy so keep calm.

Wow this is a long post and I haven’t even gotten to my hatred toward the leash law on hiking trails and really probably lost most of you after the first paragraph so I’ll stop.  One final word.  I know I’ve been very lucky.  As much as I believe dogs can be trained and well-behaved I realize this isn’t always the case and a dog is an animal that, at any moment and for any reason, can use his/her teeth for evil.  After writing all this I’m probably going to be eaten by a labordoodle on my next walk.  If that happens I leave everything to Riggins.

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Rad – No Matter What the Year

11 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bar method, crazy talk, Exercise, fashion

20130111-181221.jpg I’m heading off to a friends house for the evening. After a heavy sigh I think I should get out of the costume I’ve worn all day and put on some big girl pants. Then I think, nah … Love me love my leggings.

If wearing thigh high sparkly leg warmers is wrong I don’t want to be right!

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And … I’m back!

10 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Riggins

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, Riggins

Riggins at Echo Mtn.I just got dog ear cleaning liquid in my mouth.  Not tasty.

I’ve been gone for so long I don’t even know where to start.  I’m tempted to just leave it at those first two lines.  Seems poetic.  I guess that would be mean … such a tease.  Let me get you caught up on the past 1+ year.  I started a new job and then quit that job.  The year was full of travel, hotel food, depression meds, and lots of wine.  I find depression meds have more effect when taken with alcohol.  I’m sure Dr. Drew would agree and condone that.

I’m now completely unemployed.  S C A R Y !!! (scary — I had to write that without the spaces to see if it came up on spell check as being incorrect.  It looks wrong doesn’t it?  Oh well.  WordPress accepts it, I accept it.)  It’s interesting (or a sad comment on our society) that when I admit to someone I left my job without a safety net the answer 85% (estimated percentage) of the time is, “Wow.  I wish I could do that.” or “You are so brave.  I’d love to do that.” or other such “you are brilliant Wendy and I want to be just like you” type comments (at least that is how they get translated in my head).  Apparently there are very few people in this world who like their job.  Isn’t that sad?  Well I’m on the search for a job that will make me happy!  If you can think of anything send me a note.  I’m up for anything (almost anything — don’t go all Dirty Jobs crazy on me).

Quick list of what I’ve learned so far in my first full week of unemployment:

  • Hiking every morning and going to Bar Method in the evening can really be considered a full day of work.
  • Rice Crispies are crazy delicious and can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a tasty snack.
  • Duck Dynasty is oddly entertaining.
  • There is an AMAZING amount of people who don’t work during the day in this city.
  • Generic is just as good as brand name … stop being a snob.
  • You can buy soda in a bottle and pour it over ice yourself.  You really don’t need to go through the closest fast food restaurant drive-thru and order a “large diet coke with extra ice.” (I wonder if they all miss me.)
  • Despite what I’ve said/believed in the past naps are kinda awesome.
  • You can go through an entire day without wishing death on someone.  It’s actually a nice surprise.
  • If I HAVE to I can cook a pretty decent meal.  Add on pt – There is no good recipe/movement/grocery purchasing that works well for a single person.  That means I cook something Sunday and eat it all week.  This really isn’t new I’ve always done this but now I just don’t skip the corners (bake the chicken myself instead of buying one of those pre baked chickens — for example).  I feel like with the social dynamics of the US (or at least Los Angeles/New York) moving toward more singles living their lives happily alone this is a hole that needs to be filled.  Someone get on that.Wendy & Riggins Jan 2013
  • Riggins is the cutest dog in the world (not new information just felt like it needed to be said).

So there you go!  I’m back and hoping to post more wonderful tales soon.

 

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The Way to My Heart (aka things you already know)

19 Tuesday Jul 2011

Posted by wendynewell in online dating, Riggins, Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, online dating, Riggins, runyon

(I haven’t gone on a rant lately about my love for my dog.  I think it is time!  And I apologize right now.  I tend to get emotional and drop FBombs and other unladylike language when I’m riled up.  So buckle up … here we go!)

You know how they say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach (do people still say that … my Grandma Newell certainly thought that, she bought me a big ol’ recipe book once to help in my hunt for a man.  I’ve opened that book twice.  Once to see how long to cook a baked potato and once to see how to make pork chops.  The pork chops were a hit … to a man even, until the second time I tried to make them and didn’t have apple juice so substituted with wine.  Don’t look at me like that.  It totally makes sense.  Wine is made from grapes — fruit so it is essentially a fruit juice and people use wine for cooking all the time. The purple pork chops kinda ruined that recipe for me.  Oh I did open it once to figure out what “sear” meant.  I read it, and decided that was a dumb idea and ignored the instruction to “sear” whatever protein had demanded I look it up in the first place.)?  Well the way to my heart is through my family.  Which means Riggins!

Yes despite the local mall and grocery’s parking lot definition my family is not an “adult with children” but an “adult with dog.”  Don’t even get me started on those dumb ass signs … too late I’m started.  How dare you random parking lot for suggesting I’m not a family.  Who the hell do you think you are?  Take your dumb ass 17th century sign and definition and shove it up your ass.  Do black tops have asses?  I don’t care.  Find your ass and shove it up there.  I know I know I shouldn’t take the parking lot sign as an attack about me and my life choices and bad boyfriend luck as they are only trying to make someone’s life easier.  But I do take it personally even if that is not logical.  So they can shove it … well you know.

Whew … I feel better.

Riggins and I are a family and anyone who accepts that IMMEDIATELY becomes my friend.  Riggins is everything.  He is my baby, my friend, my hiking companion, someone who loves me NO MATTER WHAT, and my protector in my not so great neighborhood.  It is because of him and his protection that I have the ability to live where I do and with the freedom I do.  It is because of him that I know my neighborhood as well as I do, know neighbors, and fun/funny/interesting things about the area since we walk that area every day.  It is because of him that I get out of my house to hang out at parks, walk around Silver Lake and see characters (seriously want some good people watching … go take a stroll around the lake), hike Runyon with the stars, and constantly have something to smile about.  If you don’t get that … if that doesn’t make sense to you … if you think that makes me a loony … well too bad for you!

Okay … once I had a date with a guy who picked a place to meet where I could bring Riggins.  I loved him instantly.  He spent the date feeding Riggins mashed potatoes from his fork.  Riggins jumped up and lounged on his lap peaking up at me as if to say, “I choose this guy …” Turns out he loved Riggins, and not so much me.  And to be honest loved Riggins a bit too much … and this is  ME saying this.  So I suppose you can go too far.

I was recently asked a question on Eharmony, Match, I forget which, about my relationship with animals (pets).  I ignored all the suggested responses and typed in, “I love my dog more than most people.”  Was it perhaps off-putting for me to type that?  Probably.  I don’t care.  Better you know now.  It was the first time I actually liked one of those silly get to know you cookie cutter question.  I liked the guy for asking.

You know what actor I love the most?  More than any other? Eriq La Salle.  Eriq La who?  Salle.  AKA that African-American dude from ER.  I LOVE HIM.  Why?  All because of his interactions with Riggins.  One day, years ago, I was on Runyon with Riggins.  We go almost every weekend and, in his mind, the hill now belongs to him.   He doesn’t stay next to me during our hike.  OOOOOOOHHHHHHH NO!  He’s got places to go and people to see.  He is, usually, ahead of me checking out whatever there is to check out or forcing someone to pet him.  Most of the time he will run pretty far ahead of me (I know this annoys other people there but I’m sure you are not shocked to find out my response is “tough toodles”) then will stop and hang out looking back until he sees I’m safely coming up the path before taking off full speed again.  One day I saw this very tall man leaning over yelling at Riggins.  My mom, “don’t F with my baby”, attitude kicked in and I stormed toward the duo ready to TAKE THAT ASSHOLE DOWN.  As I got closer I realized it was Eriq La Salle.  Now I’ve had run ins with celebrities on Runyon before.  Because … well … frankly … most are douches.  More stories for another post.  So I got closer ready to let Eriq feel the Wendy wrath!  Just before opening my mouth to take the man down I realized he was trying to stop Riggins from eating poo.  ERIQ LA SALLE STOPPED RIGGINS FROM EATING POO!  Isn’t that awesome!?!  He was looking out for Riggins!  I did a 180 with my attitude and have loved the guy ever since.  When he was on an episode of Covert Affairs last season I made Riggins come in to the TV room to watch.  I explained that it was the nice man from the hill.  I see Mr. La Salle almost every weekend and he is a DELIGHT.  Not only is he super nice to Riggins (which is all you really need to know) both him and his hiking partner (son maybe — although really I have no idea) will nod or say hello and are always happy.  BTW no one says hi on that hill … NO ONE.  Well a few people but most don’t.  Sometimes I make it a game to see how many people I can force to say  hello or good morning to me.  Mr. La Salle and partner never let me down!  I can always count on them.  Nice to me AND Riggins.  How do I find a guy like that?

So there is your hot tip single men of the world.  How do you get me to love you?  Be like Eriq La Salle and not creepy like mash potato dude.  Love my dog the perfect amount and understand that he is my family.

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More Reasons Drinking is Necessary on a First Date

25 Monday Oct 2010

Posted by wendynewell in online dating

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

crazy talk, douchebag, online dating

My date last night was so unbelievably bad I can’t even manage to retell the story again.  I’ve already called and vented to my mom and emailed girlfriends so instead of retyping the entire thing again let’s just relieve last night via the emails I sent to a friend.

To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:47 PM
Btw I’m sitting at a bar drinking alone because dog boy isn’t here.  16 min late and counting.  Good thing I have a gin and tonic on front of me.  Yet another reason drinking is necessary on a first date!
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:49 PM
And good thing I downloaded cribbage on my phone!  I love that game.
To my date – Sitting at a bar. Drinking. You aren’t here.

To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:57 PM
25 min late.  I sent him an email.  He is, supposedly, a CTO.  Therefore he should have NO PROBLEM getting email in his phone! 

I hate men.  Well not all of them but more than half.

From my “date” – October 24, 2010 9:03:31 PM PDT
I was just there and didn’t see u.. hold on I be there in 8 mins
To a friend while forwarding his email – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:13 PM (5 more minutes and I would official be at the bar for an hour)
Really.
Based on the few people that are here that isnt possible.
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:31 PM
Omg.  Omg.  Crazy man.
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:34 PM
Seriously.  I need a drink after that “date”.
The date recap to a friend – Monday, October 25, 2010 9:11 AM
OMG.  I can’t even remember all of it.  I wanted to take out my phone and write stuff down so I wouldn’t forget but that seemed rude.  considering how rude he was I should have done it. 

So he finally comes in and finds me.  He demanded he was there for a long time earlier but there is no way.  You know the (edited so you can’t stalk me).  I got there about 10 minutes early.  There was a couple that came in right before me and sat at the end of the bar.  One single guy watching the game from the bar and talking to the bartender.  The doorman was sitting by the fireplace to the right watching the game and I sat by the fireplace to the left.  the game ended maybe 5 minutes after that and the doorman left to do his job so I was THE ONLY ONE SITTING IN THAT SECTION OF THE BAR.  Seriously.  It was like I was diseased.  I was the only blond woman.  The only woman with short hair.  AND THE ONLY PERSON SITTING IN THAT AREA.  It is actually impossible to not see me.

He then demanded that I wasn’t there the entire time and my “clock was wrong.”  BTW nothing he said was in a flirty fun way but a “I’m better than you and so much smarter it’s pathetic” sort of way.  He wasn’t intelligent.  He was actually a bit of a moron and obviously had insecurity issues.

Not attractive.  At all.  BUT we know personality and fun can get you a long way.  Unfortunately he had neither.

Now know at this point I’ve been here 40 minutes and have finished my drink.  He, at no time, made an effort to buy me another one.  A normal person would have apologized and IMMEDIATELY offered to buy me a drink.  This guy did the opposite.  Told me I was wrong about when I got there and didn’t make a move for the bar.

He pushed stools out-of-the-way to sit  RIGHT next to me.  Not across the little bar table to the side like you would expect.  Like we were sitting on the sofa together watching the TV (on mute) above the fireplace.  Then he spent most of the time not looking anywhere near me but at the TV.

The opening:
Wendy – How are the dogs?
Weirdo – People who show up there, you have to wonder if they are doing bad things to the dogs.  At least they aren’t going to die.  Well right away.

UMMMMM ….

Seconds later:
Weirdo – You have a dog?
Wendy – Yes.
Weirdo – Just one? (said as if it was a judgment against me.)
Wendy – Yup.  More than one starts to be a little much for a single lady.
Weirdo – At least you don’t have 3 cats.
Wendy – Nope.  My dog would eat a cat.
Weirdo –  Three dogs are okay but if you have 3 cats you are insane.  (No hesitation.  Stated as a fact.  True, honest, undeniable fact.)
Wend – Or you are a really nice person who likes cats.
Weirdo – No. (Again said with finality.) You are insane.  I know for a fact.

oooookkkkaaay.

Within 5 minutes of sitting down he was insulting my job and my industry.  He now somehow ran the marketing of his company when his profile said he was the CTO.  He then debated me on how ridiculous market research is, knowing it is my job.  His “debating” was more a “you are wrong no matter what you say” type of deal less give and take discussion.

He  pounded the table to help make his point.  Which he did often.  While staring at the TV.

Turns out he works for a company that developed a software that helps families with autistic children be matched with financial and medical help.  Figures.  He would definitely score on the autistic spectrum.  Imagine what it would be like talking to Trump about what he does for a living.  The over inflated ego, no one is as good, I’m the only person in the world who is this important.  It was like that.

In an email he said he lived in Pasadena.  He doesn’t.  He lives in Burbank.  He just sold his house with no plan on what to do now but does want to move closer to work.  By doing this he will cut his 35 min commute down to 25.  HE’S HOMELESS FOR A POSSIBLE 20 MINUTE A DAY COMMUTE DIFFERENCE.

BTW I rarely spoke during this.  I would TRY to be nice but really went back and forth between debating him and standing up for myself and being “date” Wendy.  After he insulted my work I pretty much spent the rest of the “date” nodding, smiling, and drinking melted ice water.

He insulted Glendale and said anyone who lived there loved Armenians and was insane.

Insulted my major.  Couldn’t understand how I could have possibly minored in physics (in that — there is no way you are smart enough sort of way).  Then insulted my college but that was after this conversation.
Weirdo:  Where did you go to college?
Wendy:  Whittier College.
Weirdo:  Nixon went there.
Wendy:  True.  But not at the same time. (smile)
Weirdo:  Obviously. (in a “what are you a moron” way)

He got on the subject of Scientology.  Insulted them, then Mormons.  Then this conversation.
Weirdo:  You don’t believe religion exists. (not a question)
Wendy:  Oh I believe it exists.  I just don’t follow a religion.
Weirdo:  Your profile says you are an Atheist.
Wendy:  That’s right.
Weirdo:  That means you don’t think religion exits.  That’s insane (have you noticed this is his favorite word).  Of course it exists.
Wendy:  That’s not what Atheist means.
Then he went on to explain why science had it wrong.  Why the big bang couldn’t happen.  What does he think?  Well he went on to explain how we are like a giant computer game and don’t even know it and someone (not necessarily God) is in charge of everything we do.  Like when he plays a video game and the players in the game don’t know he is in charge.  Leading to this conversation:
Wendy:  Well I’ll tell you what.  I don’t believe I live in Tron.
Weirdo:  Of course not it isn’t like that.  It’s like the Matrix.
Wendy:  We live in the Matrix?
Weirdo:  Yes.  That is the best reference to what is happening.
Wendy:  So Scientologist are insane because they follow the writings of a fiction writer but you are normal for believing we live in a movie staring Keanu Reeves?
Weirdo:  Yes.  That is exactly what it is like.
Then lots of hand pounding on the table as he lectured me on chaos and patterns and blah blah blah.

Finally this is how it ended –
Wendy:  Well I finished my drink and I’m not having another one so it’s time to go.  I’m glad you came back and found me.
Weirdo:  Right.  Me too.
Then he pounded the table, stood up, and walked out the door.  Didn’t even look back.  He was gone before I grabbed my purse. I then waited in the bar for a while to make sure he would be gone before I left.

FREAK …. KING OF THE FREAKS … FREAK

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I’m Sorry – In Advance

22 Wednesday Sep 2010

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

crazy talk

Pissy.

That is the best adjective to describe my mood lately.  I’ve been pissy.  I’m not sure why.  I just have.  My fuse is short, my tolerance for “the stupid” is low, overall I’m in attack mode and ready to take on the world!  That means I’ve been mean.  Not, kick you in the face, mean but “sigh”, roll my eyes, pointed harsh wording mean.  I see myself doing it.  I feel the nasty coming out but I can’t stop it.  I’m just not able to.  So if you have or will cross my path during this pissy mode and I’m mean to you I apologize.  I can’t help it.  It’s like a reflex.  Like blinking.

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