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Me Myself & Riggins

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Proof I’m Old

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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bar method, birthday, old, Old Town Pasadena, parking, Pasadena

photo 1 (32)3-5 times a week I drive into old Pasadena, park in one of the public parking garages and walk to the Bar Method Studio for class.  I have timed it perfectly so I’m parked there for less than 90 minutes, which means my car’s stay in the lot is free.   Every time I enter the garage I look at the cost for parking and shake my head.  Not because of the cost but because of my memory of the cost.

Years ago if you would have asked me how much it cost to park at one of the public garages in old town Pasadena my answer would have been $5.  If there were a couple people in the car the cost was $2.50 each.  4 people, $1.25 each.  Unless, of course, you didn’t make the driver pay since he/she was already paying for gas.  Wherever the many came from it was going to have to equal $5.  If this is true then tell me how I’m managing to get out of there for free now?  Well …. because it is a $5 flat rate after 10:00 PM.  Apparently that is all the cost information I required at the time.  That  means, at one point of my life, I only went to Pasadena after 10:00 PM.   Now if I’m not brushing my teeth at that time it’s because I’ve already been asleep for a good 1/2 an hour.

That’s how I know I’m old.

(Please enjoy a few pics from my 40th birthday celebration … more proof I’m old.)

(Wanna know how to make those classy headbands in those pics?  Check out this blog post.)

photo 2 (33)

 

 

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Just So Sleepy

05 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bar method, dogs, sleep, sleeping

photo (78)I’m soooo tired ….. so sleepy.  I’m jealous of those people who can sleep 5 hours and bounce up and be productive.  I need 9 hours asleep.  9??? Yes 9.  Look it up.  That’s still within normal range.  Hovering way up on the high side but still “normal.”  Luckily I have no kids and no job so I can actually get the 9.  I’m usually in bed and counting sheep by 10pm.

Why am I so tired when I do nothing all day?  Part of it is that I’m not getting great sleep. Dogs taking up bed space, my brain’s inability to turn off, the medication I take, and many other common complaints are definitely to blame.  Still what has changed since I left my 9-5 (Ha!  9-5 my ass.  More like 5-9.) job that causes me to be too pooped to pop?  Then I remembered I don’t do nothing all day.  I do a ton of activity all day.  Most days I get 3 hours of exercise.  That’s a lot for someone who is use to sitting on her bum in an office (or airport/airplane/office lobbies) all day.  I wake up and do 2ish (sometimes more sometimes less) hours of high alert hiking in the morning with the dogs.  Why high alert?  I need to make sure I have all the dogs all the time, that they aren’t in anyones way, that they aren’t going to be eaten by wildlife, etc.  I spend most of those 2 hours (if they are off leash) counting them over and over to make sure I haven’t missed anyone.  I’m also doing squats the entire time as I get down to their level to take pictures for my guest dogs folks or to pick up poop (they all poop so much).  Down and up and down and up.

photo (77)In the late afternoon I head over to my Bar Method studio for an hour of hard-core “human only” strength and endurance training.  It’s exhausting stuff.  For anyone (and I mean any man) who thinks Bar Method is easy and just a light little woman’s workout I suggest you get yourself in a class and then post your apology below in the comments section.  I had completed triathlons when I took my first Bar Method class and I still had to step out at one point to keep from throwing up and couldn’t move without screaming “ouch” the next day.

Once in a while the instructors of the Bar Method studios get an update on some moves.  That happened recently and last night I did something called “arm dancing” for the third time.  Right now my abs are killing me from that work.  You would think after years of taking classes I wouldn’t hurt but every day the moves are a little (or a lot) different so your body never settles in and gets used to what you are doing.  You are also getting better at the work and more specific in your moves which makes all the work more targeted.

IMG_7561What’s arm dancing you ask?  Well … lie down on your back with your feet on the ground, knees up.  Jam a few firm pillows behind you so that you can push your lower body and lower ribcage into the floor while keeping your shoulders up in a curl.  Your shoulders should be below your knees in front of you.  This is a “low curl” position.  Your abs should already be feeling something.  Now curl tighter and put your arms straight out over your knees one hand on top of the other.  Now without moving your body and keeping curled as high/tight as possible bring your arms slowly up and slowly down.  Now do that a bunch of times.  I have no idea why moving your arms in this position causes so much pain in your abs but it does.

My guess is those 3 hours of working out are what is causing me to gravitate toward my bed (and Bengay) whenever possible.  All I ever need is just a few more zzzzzzzs.

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Saving That for a Snack Later

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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Tags

bar method, boobs, running, sports bras

Let me explain a typical Wendy day for you.

  • Get up and throw on work out clothes to take the dogs out on a hike. (Since I have the tank top already on from sleeping in it I just have to add pants and a work out bra.)
  • Come home and shower.  Put on a new set of work out clothes because getting into regular clothes and taking them off later just seems like an extra step I don’t need.
  • Do some work and look for jobs online
  • Go to Bar Method
  • Come home and shower again.  I realize California is under a state of emergency due to an extreme water shortage so two showers a day seems excessive but I sweat excessively.  What’s a gal to do?
  • Put on pajamas (Tank top and underwear)
  • Watch TV
  • Go to bed and read a book.
  • Sleep
  • Repeat

This means I’m lucky enough to live most of my life in yoga style gear.  I say lucky because any woman over the age of 32 will tell you work out gear is the most comfortable clothing ever invented.  Men … I dare you to purchase a Lululemon outfit and not want to wear it all day every day.  This also means I wear a sports bra all the time.  THAT means I constantly have sports bra cleavage.

photo (70)Now I always have cleavage but sports bra cleave is different.  Normal bras push down on you in between your boobs.  Not comfy sports bras (yoga kind not running kind that just mush your boobs into one giant uni-boob)!  Comfy sports bras make a tiny (or large depending on what you have going on up there) pocket right between you boobs.  I tell you this because it is AMAZING to me how items find their way in there.  It’s like a have a magnet at the bottom of my bra that is sucking things down.

I’ve talked about the popcorn at movies before.  That is the best example I have.  I’m 39 years old.  I have no idea how I managed to drop so much popcorn as I’m stuffing it in my face, but I do.  Right down my sports bra cleavage it goes.  I try to casually fish it out but no matter what I always have to go to the restroom after and dump out my bra.  Much like you used to do when you were a kid after a day at the beach.  Except substitute sand for popcorn and your bathing suit crotch for a sports bra cleavage pocket.

Yesterday I had a cake donut (don’t judge I needed it and it was goooooooooooood).  Then I headed off to Bar Method class.  At one point of class I realized I had donut crumbs rolling around in my bra but couldn’t do anything about it.  When I got home I had cake crumbs stuck to the perspiration pool in between my boobs.  Although I have to admit the sports bra I wore yesterday was super boobalicious.  During heel raises, while I was staring at myself in the full length mirror, I thought that was definitely the sports bra I should wear if I ever convinced a guy I liked to come to class with me.

Speaking of boobalicious sports bras.  As I mentioned earlier running bras tend to mush your boobs up against your body.  It’s distracting to have them all wobbly while you run not to mention it can hurt.  Last Nov when I was with friends in Catalina watching my friend run the Marathon a woman crossed the finish line with the MOST boobalicious sports bra I have ever seen.  It was AMAZING.  She was well endowed and somehow had found a bra that kept her in place while still looking good.  It was kinda shaped like a halter bikini top so there was no sports bra, popcorn attracting, pocket.  A usable sports bra without having to fish food items out of it!!!!!!! I wanted to go ask her what brand it was and where she got it but I was too embarrassed to admit I was staring at her chest.  Although believe me.  EVERYONE was starring.  That is how great that running bra was!  If you know what it was please share.  That is important information that needs to get out there and be talked about!

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No Pain No Gain

21 Tuesday Jan 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bar method, birthday

CaptureSometimes I have evil thoughts that prove I’m a bad person.  Let me share one of those such thoughts with you.

Last year I turned 39.  For the month leading up to my birthday I vowed to do 39 acts of kindness.  I loved doing it and it made me feel good about myself at a time when I had no job and was turning 39, which is no picnic.

This year I turn 40.  I don’t know who those people are that demand they are happy they are turning 40 and that their 30s are behind them.  I hate those people.  They have to be lying right?  Well either their pants are on fire or they need a swift kick in the bum.  Either way I’m not a fan of them.  Personally I am NOT looking forward to the end of March and my milestone birthday.  If you asked a 13-year-old Wendy where she would be at 40 single, no kids, no job and close to nowhere to live would not be what she would say.  I dare say she would call such a person a “loser.”  Who can blame her … she is 13 and has no idea the bumpy road ahead of her.

Since I’m in pain over this upcoming day I’m not really in the mood to relaunch my month of good deeds.  Instead I would like to cause pain in others.  If I had the money you know how I’d spend my birthday?  Forcing my friends to do the one thing I am proud of.  Bar Method!  Bar Method as an exercise is not easy.  If someone tells you it is then they are doing it wrong.  I happily drive to Pasadena and walk up the stairs to the studio 3-5 days a week.  All so I can have an hour to myself to de-stress and stay strong.  As you know I’ve been doing it for years and, although it may not be obvious to look at me, I’ve improved DRAMATICALLY during that time and it was not easy.  I worked very hard at it and frankly I want my friends to understand how hard that work is!  I realize that is selfish and I shouldn’t care but I’m almost 40 so back off.

I’d LOVE to have a private class and make all my friends (men and women) come join me for the hour.  Let’s just assume that all my friends would show up and it wouldn’t just be me and MAYBE a couple other folks (Leslie, Tricia & Giovanna I’m looking at you) having a private lesson in tucking (key pelvis move in Bar Method).  MAN I’d love to see some of my male friends grunt their way through thigh (the most torturous portion of class).  It would just make my heart soar.  If I could afford such a magical hour here is the set list I would like:

  • Plank after leg lifts – w/ option to bend leg and point foot up
  • Shoulder raises (vs. arm walks)
  • Bicep curl (anything as long as it isn’t in wide second position because that kills me)
  • Push ups (hold at the end)
  • Reverse push ups (hold at the end)
  • Leg lifts in parallel
  • Thigh! (1 – chair w/ ball 2 – legs together with ball 3 – parallel w/o ball just to give them a chance)
  • Butt! Pretzel at the barre.  I actually like standing seat the best since I can feel it target my tush but it’s too easy to cheat at that.
  • Curl! Arm dancing (as long as I can do it a few more times between now and then to perfect my form … that is a freakin’ hard ab work out), high curl, straight leg clam

Any Bar teacher would look at that set and cringe but I don’t care.  It’s the exercises I like paired with the ones I’m good at!  It’s the Wendy Show Off Set!  For those that don’t know Bar Method lingo let me translate:

  • Core ouch
  • Shoulder ouch
  • Bicep ouch
  • Tricep ouch
  • That muscle in the back of the bottom half of your leg ouch
  • Quad crazy ouch
  • Butt crazy ouch
  • Ab crazy ouch

Then after class I want to go get drinks at a bar bar!  The next day I can glow in my ability to walk and sit down as my Facebook feed is flooded with my friends agony over the smallest movement due to muscle ache.

See … isn’t that evil.  For my 40th I want pain.

 

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Above the Barre and Leash

05 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Asscher, bar method, dog walking, dogs, Riggins, Shadow

photo (17)I just finished walking the dogs around the neighborhood and it was tough!  When walking multiple dogs one or more are going to get you tangled up in their leash.  When this happens I lift one leg up and over the offending leash (and sometimes dog) and then the other.  I credit Bar Method for my ability to do this with little trouble.  I feel like earlier in my life this little bit of stretching would have been a disaster and left me flat on my face tied up in leashes and fur.  Normally after a few minutes, the dogs get it.  “Oooooh,” they say to each other, “we all have to stay on one side of her.  Got it.”  Well not today’s gang.  They never quite figured it out.  Obviously not mensa members.  The extra leg lifts did remind me of a post I have been wanting to write.  The things I don’t like about Bar Method.

Gasp.

I know.  Don’t get me wrong.  I loooooooovvvvveeeee Bar Method.  It’s the bestest in the westest and you should definitely go to a studio and try it out right this second.  That being said no one is perfect so here are the things I don’t like about the exercise:

* Not getting corrections.  I’m always super annoyed when the teacher doesn’t give me corrections.  A lot of times I can tell I’m doing something wrong and fix it myself but a number of times I have no idea.  In arabesque (Butt exercise where you stand an arms distance away from the barre while your feet are turned out.  Lift one leg up to hip height while bending down over the bar.  Then push your chest back up in a cobra-esk pose. Finally do lots of little movements with that leg that is up in the air.  It’s my least favorite exercise because I’m pretty sure I look like a dancing hippo when I do it.) the instructor will tell you that the hip of your working leg (the one in the air) can be 2-3 inches higher than your other hip.  HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW IF MY HIP IS 2-3 INCHES HIGHER?  I can’t look back and see it.  Although I’ve certainly tried and in the process just look even sillier.   If the teacher doesn’t come and correct me I can guarantee I’m doing it wrong.

It annoys me just as much when I see other people doing it incorrectly and not getting “corrected” by the instructor.  I feel like if they are getting away with it so am I.  The difference between the exercises working and not working is being in the correct form and I need a lot of help to get there!

* Missed counting.  I’m pretty sure this is a pet peeve of anyone in any group exercise class.  The teacher tells you 20 more and starts counting then goes to correct someone or tell a detailed story about the muscles you are working.  In your head you have been counting this entire time and are almost done.  Then the instructor jumps in with “5 … 6”.  Whoa there lady.  We are on 18 … get it straight!

*  New instructors and instructors in training.  This is a totally unfair dislike of mine.  Teachers who are now my favorite where once new and, to be honest, I didn’t like them when they were new either!  Isnt’ that horrible?  New teachers are guilty of the missed counting worse than anyone else.  They also tend to make the exercises too hard.  That sounds ridiculous I know but there is a fine line between almost dead and dead.  While doing arm lifts if 99% of your class can’t maintain form because you are on set number 1,000 it’s time to move on to the next exercise.  I also don’t by it when they give me corrections.  Totally unfair of me especially since some of my best corrections have come from new instructors and more than likely they are paying super close attention to all their students since there is someone in the back of the room taking notes on them.  Still … I don’t buy it when they come by and change my position.  I think “fine I’ll do it this way for you but tomorrow I’m going back to the ‘right’ way.”

*  When I forget to bring water or when there are no clean towels.  The amount I sweat is almost comical.  Without water to dehydrate I may crumple up and die like a dead leaf.  Without a clean towel I’m going to make everyone and everything around me sopping wet.  It’s gross.  I admit it.

*  When an instructor doesn’t push me.  I NEED the instructor to make me push harder.  If it’s left up to me I would come out of that room looking and feeling like I didn’t do a thing.  I need that instructor to tell me to get back up on my toes for push ups, dare me to take an arm option during sit ups (usually this means to release your hands from the grip you have on your legs to keep you in position and force that work all into your abs), and tell me my leg can get higher (after all I have dogs to walk).

photo (16)*  Finally I strongly dislike when the instructor does both chair (Stand toward the barre with your feet hip distance apart.  Pull your body back so your arms are straight.  Sit down like you are sitting in a chair.  Except there is no chair.  There is just air and your burning thighs are what is keeping you in that position.  Then do a zillion little up and down movements.) and water ski (stand beside the barre with your heels together toes apart.  Lift your heels up as high as you can.  Walk you feet together so your heels are touching but your toes are still turned out.  Bend your knees as far as you can making a diamond shape with your legs.  Grab the barre and lean back while pushing your hips up.  Then do a zillion little up and down movements. It’s horrific.)  I know it sounds ridiculous as I just said I want to be pushed by the instructor but give me an f-ing break.  One of these exercises has me in tears.  Both of them together can easily be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

All that being said.  You should go try it out!

(Since there is a chance one or more of my instructors will read this blog I may be asking for it.  If they are reading then I can tell them the thing I love!  Anytime they say “at the barre.”  Pretzel at the barre.  Ab work at the barre.  Love.)

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Humpty Dumpty

10 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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Asscher, bar method, bruises, clumsy, Creature, Griffith Park, Griffith Park Observatory, Hydrogen Peroxide, Pinterest, Riggins

Earlier this week one of my good friends, Martha, came over for dinner.  Post food while we were chatting over whatever TV we were watching I excused myself and came back with a giant bottle of hydrogen peroxide that I have turned into a spray bottle, pulled up my pants and sprayed down one of my newest scrapes.  Martha’s responses:

photo (17)* “You hurt yourself so much you have a hydrogen peroxide SPRAY BOTTLE?” – Yes.  Well technically the spray bottle’s actual purpose is to make using hydrogen peroxide for house cleaning easier (search on Pinterest will offer suggestions on what exactly to use it on) the fact that it makes disinfecting my tortured body easier too is just a happy accident.  No pun intended.

* “Aren’t you suppose to be all graceful and junk in that class you take?  Aren’t ballerina’s good at balance?” (Perhaps not an exact quote but this is how I remember it.)  Sigh … yes.   First of all let’s get one thing straight.  I’m not a ballerina.  Sure my exercise of choice utilizes a barre but, tragically enough, it is used mostly to help balance yourself while you do near to impossible exercises.  I’m extra clumsy in Bar Method class.  I ALMOST fall over at least 1/2 dozen times a session.  Every class starts with leg raises (just march really … that’s all it is … marching).  Which I constantly fumble at.  After basic bicep and shoulder work you move to a position that was created by the devil.  You stand with your feet parallel then move one foot (let’s say right) back and turn it out a bit.  Then you lean over at the waist, roll your shoulders down and pull them together, align you neck, hold in your stomach, open up your chest, lift your right arm (in this case) above your hip as high as you can while keeping your shoulders and hips level, then straighten your arm as much as possible.  Once you get all that together you spend the next 3 minutes or so going through little arm motions continuing to keep it above your hip and as straight as possible.  You can use the mirrors around you in the room to make sure your back is flat (which is what really kills me) and that your shoulders are level (which they probably aren’t).  Each time I check a mirror I don’t gracefully return my gaze down to a few inches ahead of my toes, as suggested.  I bobble my way back to position barely making it there without tripping over my own feet.  There are a number of times during heel raises (is what it sounds like … raise up on your toes and down a bunch of times) and stretching where you are encouraged to “take a balance.”  Every now and then a nice supportive teacher will call me out and tell me to give a balance a try.  In my head I scoff at her/him and think, “Yah right.  I almost fell over and died when I put my leg on the bar for stretch earlier.  I know you saw that.”

photo (16)So there you go.  I am destined to be covered in bumps, bruises and scrapes.  I have a number of dog related paw sized bruises and nail scrapes but right now my big issue comes from falling down on my hike with the dogs on Tue.  We were coming down the trail from the Griffith Park Observatory.  Wide path.  Very little incline.  No reason at all to fall.  I stepped wrong, twisted my ankle, and fell down on hands and knees.  To add insult to injury NO ONE came to help me and/or check on me.  5 people actually walked by me without saying a thing.  Can you imagine?  Oh well at least I had the dogs.  Nope!  Riggins, who is normally very loyal in these situations, just kept walking down the hill with Asscher following (after she tried to steal my hat when I was down on the ground).  Only little Creature stayed to keep me company as I picked myself back up.  From this incident I have an ankle that hurts and a giant scrape on my right knee.  The burn  and chunk of missing skin on my finger from crafts a couple of weeks ago is still healing and, if hit wrong, hurting.  Then Tuesday as I was dropping off Asscher at home I parked on a steep incline.  I got out of the car and moved to open the back door for her as my door swung itself closed into the back of my head.  That’s right folks.  For the second time in less than a year I hit myself in the head with my own car door.  I screamed, “YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.” when it happened.  Then, while cooking dinner for my friend, I casually cut my finger while chopping something.  I estimate this happens about 33.33% of the time I have a knife in my hand.

I suppose the lesson here is stay far away from me and if you do get close make sure you have a first aid kit packed somewhere on your person!

(My clumsy self.  One of my favorite topics was also written about here.  In case you want/need to read more.)

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Pain in the Side

26 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

bar method, core, Dragon, Exercise

After this week of Bar Method I have a serious ache in all the muscles around my mid section. A good ache. Every once in a while the instructor says “at the bar” and I’m giddy! Stretch “at the bar.” Pretzel “at the bar.” Curl “at the bar.” All the “at the bar” options target different muscles or the same muscles deeper, than their non bar sibling. Early this week we had an “at the bar” day and my waist muscles still hurt. There is nothing better than feeling like you worked that horrible mid section” area. That big blobby area between your boobs and your hips.

I’m a wimp during certain exercises or stretches until the instructor tells me it targets and slims my waist. Then I’m all in. Lay down and cross your right leg over your left. Grab your ankles and lift them up to you ears than down. Ummmm. I’ll pass. Until she tells me it will slim my waist and then I’m happy to contort myself into the ridiculous pose! Those are my magic words!

I don’t feel like you understand my pain so this is what I would like you to do. Head to the closest Bar Method class. This requires some of you to fly to the US or Canada. Worth it. Then keep going to class until you hit an “at the bar day.” It isn’t a popular teacher choice so it could take a while. No worries. It will give you time to perfect your technique. Then call me the next day so we can talk about how it now hurts to breathe.

What I do for beauty. It’s amazing.

20130926-212334.jpg

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Rip it Off

19 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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Tags

ballet shoes, bar method, Lululemon

pizap.com13796228705831

Source Source

Yesterday while I was putting on my twisted ballet slipper I thought of how embarrassing it was that I had gone to years of Bar Method classes tying the bow on the top of my toe vs. tucking it in.  How many people looked at me and giggled under their breath?  Dozens?  That class is chock full of ex-ballerinas someone had to have noticed.  They should have clued me in.  Of course I’m not sure how I would have reacted.  I would like to say that I would have smiled and said, “Thank you so much.  That is so sweet of you to tell me.  As you can tell I really have know idea what I’m doing.”  I fear that instead I would have gotten all prickly and said something like, “ummm … yay … I know THAT.  This is how I like to do it.  Back off.”  I’m not very good at taking criticism even when it is meant to help me.

It is for this very reason that I don’t go up to those ladies with tags hanging out of the Lululemon (expensive and very popular active wear brand) shirts and rip them off for them.  At least once a week some young skinny thing prances into class with that long Lululemon tag trailing out behind her.  I want to help.  I want to fix it for her.  But I don’t.

pizap.com13796231026731

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To make up for all the times I haven’t said something I’m writing this blog to alert the world.  Lululemon wearing ladies please give me your attention.  Those long tags on each and every piece of Lululemon clothing you wear is meant to be taken off.  They have made it super simple.  No scissors or teeth needed.  Just grab that long tag and pull.  It will come right off at the seam.  I’m not the first person to write this in a blog post.  Even Lululemon themselves tried to spread the word.

Whew.  I feel better now.  Let’s look out for each other ladies.  No one wants to look foolish while contorting their body into positions called “pretzel” and “water ski seat.”

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More Unnecessary Tutorials – Birds and Shoes

09 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Asscher, ballerina slippers, bar method, bird cage, crafts

photo (9)In an effort to share some “how-tos” with you I’ve come to the conclusion that I do some really easy things that don’t need explaining.  Oh well … perhaps you got dropped on the head as a child and can’t figure these things out on your own and this blog is where you go for such obvious tutorials.   If that is true … read on …

Birdie Cage – Years ago I saw the most marvelous thing on Etsy.   A very talented woman had handmade bird cages with tons of colorful birds in it.  I NEEDED one to hang in my living room.  Alas her bird cages were actually hanging lights and I didn’t need the light part.  (They looked something, and yet nothing, like this – click here.  The woman I had seen years ago doesn’t seem to be selling them anymore.  This one is somewhat ridiculous.  Look at those birds!  Those birds are clinging sideways to that “cage” for dear life.)  At that moment I decided I’d make one myself.  Years of searching for the perfect “cage” came to an end at the clearance aisle of Target earlier this year.  I had FINALLY found the perfect cage.  It was actually a candle holder but it was bird cage-like so I was good with it.  It was tiny, like I wanted, it was all black and not distressed, like I wanted, it was practically perfect in every way!  It was the Mary Poppins of faux bird cages!

image (21)It took me a few months but I finally went to Michaels and bought some colorful birdies and a fake branch thing.  When I got home it took mere minutes to put it together.  The branch I had purchased had wire in it so it was easy to clip off the amount I needed for each perch and twist the ends around the cage to hold it in place.  All that was left was to clip on the little birds and hang it up!

It sat in my dinning room for months but this weekend I found a hook and some ribbon (that I had to pry out of Asscher’s jaw earlier in the week) and I got it hung up in the living room.  TADA!

Ballerina Slippers – As you know I use ballerina slippers in Bar Method class.  As you also know I bought a new pair earlier this year and they have been sitting on my chest of drawers mocking me.  My new pair required me to sew the straps on and that seemed so tedious and awful.  Everyday last week, while in class, I was horrified at the shabbiness of my shoes.  They were not ballerina perfect!  It was what I needed to kick myself in the bum and get my work done.

Last night I grabbed the shoes and was ready to make it happen.  Then I thought I shouldphoto (10) probably look up how others do it to make sure I was sewing correctly.  Whoa …. my mind was blown by what I learned.  Now I want to pass that knowledge on to you!

1. Put the slippers on your feet and find where the shoe lines up with the highest part of your arch.  My slippers are fancy and actually have different fabric in that area so I did not need to mark the spot.  If your shoes aren’t as cool as mine you will have to mark each side of the shoe at that spot with a pin.

2.  Pull the straps over tight, but not too tight, and mark where they should be attached with a pin.

3.  Grab some needle and thread.  Double knot for safety.

4.  Sew the strap on below the cinch line edge.  Go one way, and then go back over it the image (19)other way for safety.  Unless you are me and your thread breaks so one of the sides of one shoe is only done 1 1/2 times instead of 2.  Also be careful not to wrap the thread around the elastic band while sewing.  Don’t laugh.  It’s easier to do than you would expect.  Personally I had to start the same side 3 times for this very reason.

5.  Put the shoes back on to make sure they fit and you didn’t screw up.

6.  Cut off the excess elastic.

7.  Put the shoe back on and cinch it up so it is comfortably tight on your feet.

Time out – for YEARS I’ve been wearing ballerina slippers to class and have been tying the cinch strings in a bow on the top of the shoe.  It’s annoying.  The bow constantly comes out in the middle of class and you look like a moron who doesn’t know anything about ballet.  I knew I was doing something wrong but then I’d get home from class and not think about it until the next day when I pulled the slippers on my feet.  Last night YouTube taught me that I’ve been a fool.  No one ties those elastic strings into bows.  I’m so ashamed.  It’s like I only took a day of ballet in my entire life.  Wait.  I DID only take a day of ballet in my entire life.  It was a horrible childhood experience.  I don’t want to talk about it.

8. Tie your cinch strings in a square knot (right over left, left over right).  If you tie it in aimage (20) bow people will silently laugh at you for the rest of your life.

9. Pull the strings down toward your toe and cut the excess off at that point.  When wearing your shoes tuck the loose cinch strings under (between the top of your foot and shoe) so you have perfect ballerina feet!

TADA!  I’m telling you … that no bow cinch string thing really through me for a loop.  I’ve been so foolish.

 

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Protein Help

29 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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Tags

bar method, dogs, power bars, protein, protein bars, thighs

Thigh with the ball at a Bar Method class - source

Thigh with the ball at a Bar Method class – source

As you know I’m a fond supporter and student of Bar Method.  The absolute most horrific part of each class, the section you dread each time, is “thigh.”  I have yet to meet a single person who will tell you it isn’t the worse exercises of all time.  The goal of “thigh” is to thin down your thighs by building “long lean muscle.”  That is what you hear while sweat is dripping from your brow and you are cursing the gods in your head while you are doing it … “stay in it … you are building long lean muscle.”  At some point during your three (or four if the teacher is the devil) sets of thigh your legs will start to shake.  If you are me it is a uncontrollable, vibrating through my entire body, shake.  When this happens you will be encouraged, “good shaking!” or “way to get to your shaking zone!” or “Wendy go lower you aren’t shaking enough ….”

Let me walk you through the set up so you can see that I’m not over exaggerating.  Most “thigh” positions take place on your tippy toes.  You stand on your toes with a hand on your hip and the other hand on the barre.  Then you bend your legs and slide down to your lowest possible point.  Then for the next few minutes you go a tiny bit up and a tiny bit down fast, slow, over and over.  Sometimes you swivel your hips.  Sometimes you come down a couple counts.  I even had one teacher make us come down 10 counts once.  I wanted to punch her in the face.

I'M NOT ALONE!  source

I’M NOT ALONE! source

In all the sections of Bar Method, like thigh, I tend to go through phases of it being super-duper hard or a little easier but still hard to barely bearable.  A lot of this has to do with how much I’m concentrating on my form and “giving it my all.”  Lately (as in the past 6 months) thigh has kicked my butt!  I seriously struggle with staying in every position and sometimes feel like I have to (and I do) reset and come out of the position.  It’s aggravating but I felt better when I read on a Facebook page, “Confession of a Bar Star” that others had the same problem.  A couple of people suggested eating protein before class.

First of all I can not eat before class.  I can’t even eat a few hours before class.  I usually go to the 5:15 PM class so will eat lunch at noon.  I will allow myself an apple or orange as an after lunch snack but any more than that and I spend all of Bar class feeling like I’m going to puke.  It seemed very possible to me that giving myself some fuel pre-class could help.  I decided to give protein bars a shot.

Dreaded "chair" - source

Dreaded “chair” – source

Yesterday I ate a bar an hour before class.  It really did seem to pep me up a bit!  I’m sad to say I still didn’t stay in thigh the entire time but that really isn’t my fault.  First of all it’s been 10 zillion degrees in LA this week and by the time we get to thigh in class I’m sweating so badly I look like I’ve jumped in a pool.  I’m surprised I don’t collapse into a pile of dehydrated ash.  Also we did “chair” which is the most evil of all thigh positions.  I have the best shot of staying in thigh for the entire set if it is the first position we do (which it wasn’t yesterday).  The last time this happened I literally could not stand up after.  I had to plop my bottom on the ground and then hoist myself up with the help of the barre.  Let me explain the position.  You stand facing the barre with your hands holding on wider than shoulder width.  At that point you pull back until your arms are straight.  Then you bend your knees until you look like you are sitting in an invisible chair.  Your knees should be over your ankles and your thighs should be parallel to the ground.  From there you go up a little, down a little, over and over until you die.  The only thing holding you up is your thighs (and your butt and core but mostly your thighs).  I do like one thing during this exercise and that is my arms look amazing.  I try to concentrate on that but often the overwhelming pain breaks that self admiration!

My (non pillow-y) upper thigh and Dragon during this mornings visit to the dog park.

My (non pillow-y) upper thigh and Dragon during this mornings visit to the dog park.

Even with stupid chair I do think the protein bar may be the hot ticket and I’m anxious to keep at it to see if it really does help me in conquering the dreaded thigh section of class.  I have to tell you whatever I’m doing it is working.  One thing that use to horrify me was that my upper thighs were spreading out.  You know what I mean right ladies?  That fleshy pillow-y part of your upper thigh that for some of us can get out of control.  Nightmare!  With all thigh work I do in class my thighs are all muscle!  No pillow-y part here!  Very much worth all the pain and suffering!

* Note I am in no way a nutritionist.  I dare say I’m about as far away from a nutritionist as you can get.  I chose power bars because I thought I could digest them easily enough before working out.  There is a ton of “natural” food that is high in protein that could work well.  Soy beans, lentil soup, greek yogurt (gross), cottage cheese (gross), sandwich meat, and eggs are all examples.  A quick Google search can find you others.

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