E-mail I received from someone Chemistry.com matched me up with. Please note I do not know this man, have never met this man, have never emailed this man. THIS is his first communication with me … ever.

“i found you as one of my match on this site and i thought i should say hi,I have read your profile,all i can say is that i would like to share more than words and make something work with the heart also…really can’t wait to have a chat with or email you,let me know if you very much single and if you have found anyone yet on here ?
I like the friendship, passion, intensity and eroticism that develops and flourishes with someone special in the chemistry and the connection feels exactly — I think this is the key to making any relationship more fun, exciting and durable …. and I love to spoil, pamper and enjoying that one special woman in my life! … I am a big friend, companion, partner, confidant, mentor and benefactor
I wish i could be invited to your place for coffee or tea to make you cookies,i love baking a lot,cause i am having some right now,i can add you on IM if you have one you can also add me on your own IM******oo.com you can add me now or drop me an offline when i on break from work i would check my IM for your messages okay..
so sorry i can’t write much now i am short of words now !!!!!!
sure you are having a great day
bye
David “

Now you may think I am being too harsh and/or hard on this guy. BUT really he is being sort of creepy don’t you think? What happened to a nice short and non creepy opening email? Something like,
“Hi. I really liked your profile. I’d love to meet for drinks sometime this week if you are available. Let me know.”
Is that really too much to ask?

Last night I received an email from a friend and fellow online dater. The email contained a lengthy correspondence from a gentleman at match.com interested in her. It was pretty bad. The guy was obviously insane. A very lengthy email, honestly I didn’t read the entire thing, about him looking for his soul mate and willing to move anywhere she is located. Something about getting his heart broken. Something about if you aren’t into marriage don’t even respond. Blah blah blah. Crazy crazy crazy. Blah blah blah.

Yet my response to her was:
“Yeah. That’s a good one. At least he can spell though.”

AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL. That is what I’ve been driven to. That now overshadows anything else that could possibly be wrong. AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL. THAT is how low the bar is.

Probably on a strong cocktail of prescription medication for his multiple personalities — AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

Worships at the feet of Tom Cruise and an alien ship —AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

May have women tied up in his basement — AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

His ex-wife has a hit out on him and/or a restraining order — AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

He is a cat person and thinks dogs are evil — AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

He still lives with him parents but has the garage set up to rock his large collection of video games — AT LEAST HE CAN SPELL.

Sigh.

One of today’s Chemistry.com matches.

In his own words:
“I’m an easy going person how likes to meet new and exceting people. i like teking long drive by the beach.. and i also enjoy going to the movies with friends..and dinning out…… I’m lokking for someone who is honest… how undrstand what love should be… someone how is willing to love and be loved.. Someone how enjoy life and everthing around them.. someone how is easy to talk to about abything..”