It’s safe to say I’m a little gun-shy after Matrix man.  I think that is fair.  He was, after all, crazier than a cuckoo bird.  It’s just not the best time to “wink” or email me via match. com.  I’m not nearly as opened minded as usual.  This one poor guy has emailed me twice nearly begging me to read his profile as “he took a  lot of time writing it.”  He also asked what sexy costume I was wearing for Halloween.  Now I know he was trying to be all honest and flirty but back the F off buddy.  First of all how long could it possibly have taken you to write two paragraphs about yourself?  In all honesty I didn’t get past the “My good female friend … helped me write this.”  You can’t write a few key items about who you are without help?  I also tend to be against “sexy” Halloween costumes in general.  I mean Snow White wasn’t a whore so why did you make her skirt so short you can clearly see her lady parts and add fishnets?  There are no fishnets in the enchanted forest.

Now Match.com has the option to send someone a pre-written “no thanks” email.  I’ve never done it before.  Ever.  I just feel like it is so mean and heartless.  Today I used it.  The cold response seemed leaps and bounds nicer than the “STOP EMAILING ME YOU FREAK.  JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.” gut response I had.  I enjoy that the first suggested email mentions that you found someone you want to give it a try with so sorry.  That one tickles me.  How come you are still trolling the site if you found someone you want to “try it out” with?  I went with the heartless, “Thanks for writing to me but unfortunately you’re just not a good match.  Good luck in your search.”  Ouch right?  Doesn’t it just drip with an “F off you loser” undertone.  Oh well.  Moving on.

(BTW I was on a roll today and sent that message to about 4 different people.  I mean once I got over the initial sting it became easy.  Kinda like drinking alcohol.)