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I live in Los Angeles.  5 minutes from downtown (when there is no traffic so if you want to get there in the middle of the night).  My yard is small and if I wanted to I could hand my neighbor coffee through my side fence to them lounging in their living room.  What I’m trying to say is I live in a city not the country.  So explain to me why I have to live with a rooster?

A couple of years ago my neighbors got a rooster.  It was a loud son of a bitch.  It was a complete and total asshole.  It started crowing before the sun rose and then continued long into the morning.  It wasn’t like a snooze button.  You can’t anticipate when the next crow will happen.  You think it is over and then COCK-A-DOODLE-DO.  At some point I realized my annoying alarm clock was no longer around.  I was beyond happy.

Guess what?  They got another rooster.  What the hell do they do with a rooster?  I don’t know.  I suppose they have chickens too I just can’t hear them.  I suppose I’m lucky in so much as this rooster isn’t as nearly as loud as the other but he sure is chatty.  That critter cock-a-doodle-dos at any time of day.  He has no sense of rooster timing.  It’s 11:49 as I type this and he is going strong.  COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!!!!

Roosters have no place in my life.


You know I like dogs.  It’s not a secret.  Dogs seem to like me too so they often come up to me to say hi.  What do I do?  I bend down and give them a big ol’ kiss right on the top of their head.  Doesn’t matter what kind of dog, who he is with, what he looks like, or how clean he is.  SMOOCH right there on the noggin’.  I did that very thing this morning while the dogs and I were hiking in Elysian Park.  An older golden came by on leash and wanted to say hi.  Without hesitation I bent down and gave him a kiss.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?  What makes me think I have the right to do that?

First of all you should never ever pet or touch a dog unless given permission from the owner.  Something I obviously feel doesn’t apply to me.  Secondly there is a right way to introduce yourself to a dog and bending down cooing, “You are so cute … muuhaw!” isn’t the correct way.  Some day a dog is going to bite my face off.  That will teach me.

Secondly how gross!  Dogs are dirty animals.  I don’t know where that dog has been and I think it is okay to put my lips on him?  I’m horrified at myself.

I doubt I will change.

Have a happy weekend!