I once went on a couple dates with a guy who treated me like a puppy. I think the total number of dates was 3. I kept giving him a shot because he looked so good on paper. Cute enough, had a stable job, lived in a house near the city, had a vacation house in Big Bear, etc. I tried to pretend that he didn’t talk to me like I had just peed on the carpet, but it was a deal breaker. I swear the dude even patted the top of my head … honest.
I thought of him today when I realized with all the time I spend with dogs I’m surprised my human interactions haven’t been downgraded to one word commands, angry staccato growls, and high-pitched words of encouragement. I suppose it’s only a matter of time.
This week I have 3 guests plus Riggins. That’s four adorable dogs and sometimes I feel like the lion tamer at the circus. When getting in the car you can hear me say:
- Jax up. Jax up. Good boy!
- Riggins up. Good boy!
- Bear up. Bear up. BEAR UP! Good girl.
- Dragon up. Up. Good boy!
Then reverse when we get out of the call but add a couple “stay” to keep them in place until they are called.
When I leave the house by myself you hear:
- Jax to your house. Jax in. Good boy! (close crate and lock it)
- Bear next, to your house. Dragon back. Dragon stay. Bear in. Bear to your house. Good girl! (close crate and lock it)
- Dragon come. Good boy.
- Riggins treat. Treat. (take Riggins outside with treat and close and lock gate)
- Good Dragon. (close and lock the backdoor)
All I need is a top hat and some of those big black boots and I’ll be set for the center ring!