I once went on a couple dates with a guy who treated me like a puppy.  I think the total number of dates was 3.  I kept giving him a shot because he looked so good on paper.  Cute enough, had a stable job, lived in a house near the city, had a vacation house in Big Bear, etc.  I tried to pretend that he didn’t talk to me like I had just peed on the carpet, but it was a deal breaker.  I swear the dude even patted the top of my head … honest.

I thought of him today when I realized with all the time I spend with dogs I’m surprised my human interactions haven’t been downgraded to one word commands, angry staccato growls, and high-pitched words of encouragement.  I suppose it’s only a matter of time.

This week I have 3 guests plus Riggins.  That’s four adorable dogs and sometimes I feel like the lion tamer at the circus.  When getting in the car you can hear me say:

• Jax up.  Jax up.  Good boy!
• Riggins up.  Good boy!
• Bear up.  Bear up.  BEAR UP!  Good girl.
• Dragon up.  Up.  Good boy!

Then reverse when we get out of the call but add a couple “stay” to keep them in place until they are called.

When I leave the house by myself you hear:

• Jax to your house.  Jax in.  Good boy! (close crate and lock it)
• Bear next, to your house.  Dragon back.  Dragon stay.  Bear in.  Bear to your house.  Good girl! (close crate and lock it)
• Dragon come.  Good boy.
• Riggins treat.  Treat.  (take Riggins outside with treat and close and lock gate)
• Good Dragon.  (close and lock the backdoor)

All I need is a top hat and some of those big black boots and I’ll be set for the center ring!