Tag Archives: shoes

Bare Feet are Gross

12 Wednesday Mar 2014

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Good dogs (don't pee in my house)

Good dogs (don’t pee in my house)

I’m a huge supporter of shoes.  I think I’ve told you before that I believe the barefoot running fad is bullshit.  The “our early ancestors ran barefoot so it is more natural” argument is invalid as soon as you factor in that those folks died when they were in their early twenties.  Perhaps doing everything they did isn’t the best way to live a long, healthy, and productive life.  I’m not a fan of having to take my shoes off to come into your house either.  I’ll do it if it’s “house rules” but I’m not overjoyed about it.  Usually my feet are in no position to be seen au naturel and my outfit has been specifically coordinated to some crazy high heel that makes my Bar Method legs seem inhumanly long.  What is the point of looking Amazonian if you can’t top it off with enormous high heels?  Taking those away from me, especially in a social situation, is like cutting Samson’s hair.

I also don’t like flip-flops (or thongs depending on where you grew up and what you learned to call them).  First of all they are barely even shoes.  Secondly, I can’t stand any shoe that jams something in-between my toes.  It’s horrifically uncomfortable.  Finally, I can’t walk in them.  I shuffle along like a 90-year-old man in the sauna.  I’m just incapable of giving any flip to my flip-flops.  They just drag along behind my toes.  It’s humiliating.

I like real shoes.  Shoes with high heals and closed toes.  Shoes with HUGE cork wedges.  Boots with zippers up the sides.  Sneakers that require you to wear socks.  I don’t do barefoot.  Until recently.  The past few months I’ve spent much of my time in my own house barefoot.  Something I would NEVER have done in the past.  Why?  Two things.  Really it’s one thing but the second thing is added on to make me sound less gross.

1.  I like to be barefoot when I go out back to make sure the cement isn’t too hot for the dogs.  Really this is only necessary when it is sunny — so always.  More than once I’ve had to “hot foot it” back to some shade or the house with the dogs on my heels.  If it hurts my feet it hurts theirs.  Actually they can go a little longer than me but not much.

Now lets face it … that is kinda a bs reason.  It’s a good reason.  It makes me seem like a loving caring dog person but it isn’t REALLY necessary.  It’s just cover up for the real reason …

Good dogs

Good dogs

2.  I can tell when a dog has peed in my house when I step in a wet spot.  Gross.  I know.  It’s gross.  BUT it is so necessary.  You gotta clean up the pee or it gets out of control FAST.  Some of these dogs are ninja pee-ers.  I can go into a room and come to a halt just by smell and scream WHO PEED??????  Sometimes though my sniffer is off and I can’t tell that something has happened.  Then I step in wet.  AAAAHHHHH!  I pause and think …. did I just get out of the shower … is there a logic reason this is wet …. nope.  I get down on all fours and smell than scream.  “GODDAMN IT.  WHICH ONE OF YOU PEED?”  It really sends me into a frenzy.  I hate it.  I grab the spray and a rag and go at it.  Spray spray spray.  Mop mop mop.  Repeat repeat repeat.  Grumbling the entire time until every dog is scared to come near me and cowering in different corners of the house.  Then, of course, I have to rinse off my pee detecting foot in the bathtub.

Luckily none of the pups I’m watching now are indoor peers.  I can safely go put shoes on.

Socks, and Slippers, and Tape … Oh My

13 Tuesday Aug 2013

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I love high heels.  High heels are the best.  They make your legs look long and beautiful.  You can tower over others and hold your head high at your remarkable skills of stability on mini stilts.  They are just the best.  Unless your feet hurt.  Then they suck monkey ass.  If I’m not trying to impress anyone you will find me in running shoes.

A few years ago I got a stress fracture in my left foot.  This made perfect sense as I was running a lot at the time.  The problem is I didn’t get the stress fracture while running.  I sustained the injury when I missed a step while getting into the jacuzzi at a Burke Williams spa.  That’s right … to recap my life I’ve gotten a stress fracture by relaxing in a spa and gave myself a concussion by closing the back hatch door of my car on my head.  I’m my own worse enemy.

Stress fractures are a pain in the bum.  They take a long time to heal and often recur.  They almost always recur if you don’t give them enough time to heal in the first place which is why I often have pain in my left foot.

Running and hiking a lot also caused me to have a lot of pain in the balls of my feet.  This is mostly due to my super high arch.  No “normal” shoe or insoles ever touches my arch.  I’ve since had custom insoles made.  These suckers are expensive but worth every penny.

Custom insoles can’t always be used and even if they are they sometimes need a little help.  Here are some things I’ve found really help with feet pain while exercising.

pizap.com13764166821221SOCKS – I remember a time when I didn’t know that there were more than one kind of sock.  I was so young and ignorant.  First of all, I don’t know why they make any socks without that extra arch support stitching.  If a sock doesn’t have that I don’t want them near my feet.  When I first starting having feet problems I went to the running store and was convinced by the salesman that I needed to purchase $15 (ish) dollar socks.  Since I’m use to getting about 8 pair in a giant bag for that cost I was horrified.  BEST $15 ISH DOLLARS EVER SPENT.  I now own three of these pair of socks and get really depressed when they are all in the dirty laundry.  The brand that sold me on superman style socks?  Balega.  They are like a hug for your feet while walking on a bed of cotton candy.  I went to their site to see what kind of magic they use to make such a wonderful product but alas it was much too complicated and lost my attention after a few minutes.  Let’s just call it magic.

photo-32KT TAPE – I’ve written about this before but I can’t emphasize enough how magical this stuff is.  I normally use it for extra arch support (which isn’t what I have pictured here).  If my feet start to hurt the KT TAPE comes out.

SLIPPERS – As you know I adore Bar Method.  One of the items you must wear in class is socks.  They do have special “Barre” socks that have griper rubber stuff on the bottom.  This is to make it harder for your feet to sleep around when you are doing things like bicep curls while in wide second position.  Since I’ve always been on the tad dramatic side I owned a pair of ballerina slippers and wore them to class one day.  I was sold!  The ballet slippers where the little piece of foot magic I needed for class.  Recently I reached into my Bar bag and grabbed my one pair of Barre socks instead of my slippers.  I was running late and could already hear the instructor counting for the first exercise so I quickly pulled on the socks and took off to the studio.  Not using my ballet slippers showed me how much I love them.  Not only was I slip sliding around (even with the gripers) but positions up on the balls of my feet (there are many) KILLED me.  That thin little ballerina slipper is doing something to help protect the balls of my feet and hold my foot in the correct position.  Plus it looks better when you point your foot in a ballerina slipper.    I’ve had a number of pairs but prefer the brand Bloch over Capezio.  The inside of the shoe seems to last longer (remember I’m not really dancing in them I’m only doing Bar Method).  I always buy them through Zappos because I’m too lazy to find a ballerina store.  There is nothing funnier than reading the bad reviews for ballet slippers on Zappos.  Women who are furious that there is no arch support and only a felt sole deserve to have their money taken from them.  (The ballet slipper pictured hasn’t had the straps sewn down yet which is why they look funky.  They are new.  And yes that is dust on the toe because although they are new I bought them ions ago and have yet taken the time to sew those darn straps on!)

There you go!  My tips to happier feet.  Of course when push comes to shove and you need to wear heels you just gotta suck it up and remember how amazing your legs look!