Yesterday I was lucky enough to convince my sweet friend Krissy to share a story of equality that hit her personally. If you haven’t already read it you should definitely go do that right this second.
Today the Supreme Court was/is reviewing DOMA the federal law that defines “marriage” as something between one man and one woman. I want to share my feelings on the subject but the entire thing makes me so furious. I just don’t understand. My logical brain cannot process someones need to give a shit about who another person marries. A person they will, most likely, never meet in their entire life. In fact, that is my counterargument to almost every single thing thrown at me about it. WHY DO YOU CARE???? Let’s break it down one at a time.
1. Joseph (Seems like a nice solid name. Let’s just pretend that Mr. “I think gays shouldn’t marry'”s name is Joseph): Gay Marriage is against the Bible.
Wendy: WHY DO YOU CARE? If that is how you interpret your bible then you live that way. What does it matter that someone else lives differently? If we are going to use your logic anyone who doesn’t believe in your bible shouldn’t be married. Why are you picking on the gays? I have a number of gay friends who are religious and go to church regularly. I’m an atheist. So by your logic doesn’t it make more sense that I can’t marry vs. my God-fearing gay friend?
Here is the problem with the Bible as an excuse. It is FULL of things that seem archaic now. It is almost like it was written ions ago to scare people into living a certain way … the way someone or a group of someone’s prefer. Doesn’t it? Hmmmmm … kinda like a big ol’ graphic book of fables with fire and stoning, lust and hate, love and forgiveness. Hmmmmm ….
Jodi Picoult did a lot of research before writing her book, Sing You Home. In this scene one of her brilliant characters is questioning a pastor on the stand. A pastor whose argument is that gay marriage is forbidden in the Bible. Let’s see what her research into the Bible says …
Even with EXACT Biblical quote being used in defense it doesn’t matter. The fictional Joseph won’t care. It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall. Do you know why? It really doesn’t matter what the Bible says. That is how Joseph was raised. In college I took a class called “The Literature of the Bible.” I remember debating people in class. Those who went to Sunday school as children and demanding, “Show me. SHOW ME IN THE BOOK I’M HOLDING UP WHERE IT SAYS THAT.” They couldn’t and they often disputed what I was saying even though I could read a quote straight from the text-book (aka the Bible). They have been told for years what that book says. You can’t teach an old dog …
2. Joseph: If Gay marriage is legal it will corrupt my children.
Wendy: Stop it. Stop pretending that you allow your children around anyone gay and/or anyone who is gay and is brave enough to live his/her life that way. Now tell me EXACTLY how it will corrupt your children. You do realize gay couples currently exist with or without “marriage” right? You do realize that your children can be currently going to school (I know I know your kids are home schooled. You got me on a technically. I didn’t see that coming.) with children being raised by loving parents that just happen to be the same-sex. For that matter your child may have friends being raised by their grandparents, or their aunts/uncles. It’s highly possible your child already knows someone who is being raised by just one parent. I don’t want to send your head spinning too fast but it is highly possible your child has a friend who is being raised by mixed race parents. Gasp … it’s already happening. I tell you what. If you can’t find it in yourself to be a parent who is able and willing to calmly discuss with his/her children that love comes in all shapes and should always be protected and respected then I’ll be happy to do it for you. Just let me know and I’ll give you my Skype name and we can jump on the computer and straighten this whole thing out.
3. Joseph: It’s unnatural.
Wendy: Sigh … Joseph. Please stop talking. You are making me not like you and I’m trying really really hard not to be horrifically mean and start cursing violently at an imaginary person. I want to like you. You have such fabulous fashion style. I mean that coat is to die for. Honestly it’s not gay at all. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
4. Joseph: Two men kissing in public is icky.
Wendy: You kissing anyone is icky. Please don’t do it in front of me.
I have the right and the obligation as a human to live one person’s life. Mine. I’m lucky enough to be able to influence the minds and decisions of close friends and family. Other than that … I got nothing. There is no reason that I should believe that I have the right to tell you how to live. What would possible allow me to think that I do?
Knowing that WHY DO YOU CARE? Why do you care how someone else lives? Why do you care who someone else loves? Let’s just trample all over my beliefs as an atheist and assume that gays (and for other but equal damning reasons, myself and most of my friends) are pissing off God. So what? Imagine how happy you will be when you are standing next to the Almighty at the pearly gates with your arms crossed and your brow scrunched down in an “I told you so” look. You can gloat all you want as the fabulous gays and I do a perfect pivot-turn and sashay ala Fosse style right on down to the depths of Hell. If you believe in God. Why don’t we agree to just let him be the final judge?
To bring it back around to niceness let me share one more Jodi Picoult quote that I love from The Storyteller (based on the evidence in this blog post it seems Ms. Jodi is my literature spiritual leader. My Ayn Rand or L. Ron Hubbard.)
Most assume that the Supreme Court will do nothing about DOMA right now. That this older group of Americans just don’t understand why it’s even an issue. I do believe that Marriage Equality and Gay Rights is a generational problem. Much like women’s right to vote and mixed race marriages. One that we be “solved” soon. I just wish it was my generation that could make that change.