If you try finding a definition for “Peter Pan Complex,” as I just did, on the internet you aren’t going to be completely satisfied. Some definitions are just silly, like the Urban Dictionary, and some are overly complicated and confusing. So let’s use this one from the Medical Dictionary in the Free Dictionary online. After all it says “medical” in the title so it must be correct:
“Any clinical complex named for the ‘boy who wouldn’t grow up’Endocrinology A state of physical immaturity due to a hypothalamic defect with underdeveloped sexual characteristics Psychology A fanciful term for a state of unconscious postponement of maturity, characterised by magical thinking, narcissism and chauvinism”
Shockingly there is also an oodle of angry female bloggers who find this topic worth a blog posting or two. You can add mine to the list!
At 39 I’m younger than most of my male friends and 10 years older than most of their girlfriends. In fact, when one of them “choose” to date someone in their 40s they are applauded for dating “within their age range.” Sigh … it must be so easy to be a guy. You get a pat on the back for even attempting to be an adult. No offense to my male friends (although I’m doubtful any of them read this blog — so screw them — I’ll say what I want) or their female dating partners. Some, many, a few, have been really nice with no “daddy issues” at all. I just happened to think of my guy friends the other night when I was on Match.com looking through the profiles of guys Match felt would be good a fit for me. All were older than I am and ALL had dating age rages much younger than me. Today is a new day so let’s go to Match and see what they are suggesting right now:
FitAndFunInLB – he is 38. He is seeking women 21-35. (Refuses to even go to his own age. Sadly this is not at all uncommon.)
ChicanoStyle1976 – he is 36. He is seeking women 18-36. (Barely legal? Sure. 1 day older than him? NO WAY.)
wkndCBR – he is 41. He is seeking women 30-35 (I suppose we should applaud him for not going under 20)
Lucky20_12 – he is 42. He is seeking women 27-37 (I suppose there is some poetry in the 7-7)
USCsmiley – he is 44. He is seeking women 29-38 (oooohhh … I was so close)
FrankTheTank562 – he is 41. He is seeking women 25-38 (missed it again!)
beargallbladder – he is 41. He is seeking women 26-31 (that 5 year age range seems to be a go to for a good number of “men.” I suppose I’ll have to just skip trying to email ol’ Bear Gall Bladder.)
I could keep going but I won’t. You get the idea. Note that Match suggested all these guys to me although technically, per their profile, I’m too old for all of them. Guys. Come on. It’s so painfully unattractive. I wish I had the guts to post the pictures that go with these profiles. You wouldn’t be looking at George Clooney or Brad Pitt. These are real world 40ish year olds. They look …. real world 40ish. Come on 25ish year old women … you can do better than that gray-haired old man. What are you doing wasting your premium dating years on these old geezers?
To be fair I did cherry pick this list of guys to prove a point. There were a few that would dare to date little ol’ 39 year old me. So I’m sorry for lumping the good with the bad. The good should really go hold those other guys accountable for their actions and let them know they are giving “men” a bad name. After all as soon as I spot one of the good ones I see a profile that starts like this …
“hellow laidys whats up looken for looken for some one that is simpul with a hight sex drive that likes to have a open mind and do all kinds of stuff camp ride dirt bikes water skie river all that type of stuff and a nice body not scar… “ – Match.com fake name withheld because he doesn’t deserve to have it mentioned.
During my research (aka looking through the internet) I found a number of articles that suggest us women are the reason behind the “Peter Pan Syndrome” because we allow it. Okay … let’s make a pact. Enough. We expect our men to be just that, MEN. Man up boyz … the gig is up (now someone go tell those 25-year-old women …).
To end this post and go out into the weekend on a positive note, here are some pics of my current doggie guests, Chloe and Mashugana … adorable (and owned by well educated, financially secure, fun and funny, single women who live in LA and wouldn’t be considered “date-able” by the morons listed above … their loss).