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HowAboutMe suggested I might like this guy.  He is, apparently, a kola (only picture of him on his profile.)

HowAboutMe suggested I might like this guy. He is apparently a kola (only picture of him on his profile.)

As you know I dislike Match.com.  While I was angry at them I joined up with HowAboutWe and then immediately ignored it.  This week I decided to go on and start checking things out.

HowAboutWe is specifically designed, if used correctly, to go against one of my biggest complaints about online dating.  No one actually wants to go for a date.  Email – sure!  Text – always!  Msgr – okay!  Meet for drinks – NO WAY JOSE!  I still don’t understand how you are supposed to date without dating but apparently that is how it is done now.  On the HowAboutWe site you think up date ideas, post them, and then guys/gals reach out to you if they want to partake.  How much easier can they make it?

I posted a few date ideas and had gotten a few responses.  The response I got the most was “I’m intrigued.”  Which, if you haven’t guessed already, is the default response if someone is … intrigued.  It’s the bar meeting equivalent of sitting next to a pretty girl but not talking nor making eye contact hoping she will talk to you first.  A good majority of those guys I emailed back and so far one has responded.  He suggests we exchange yahoo messenger ids so we can IM each other.  NO …. NO NO NO NO NO … THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS PROMISED.  IM each other?  NO!  You were intrigued by my date idea … LET’S DO THAT!  Good lord.  Do I have to do everything?  Put your good shirt on, get in your car, and go on a date.

That was annoying but not as annoying as this guy:


Hank fucking Moody.  THAT is who he named himself after.  Do you know who Hank Moody is?  Let me explain.  Hank Moody is the main character of Showtime’s Californication.  He is disgusting.  DISGUSTING.  It’s like if you took Mulder (or was he Scully.  I didn’t watch that show.) stripped him of his dignity, refused to allow him to shave, force feed him a bunch of addictions (booze, sex, stupidity, smoking, weed), and had him roll around in Asshat juice.  He is the ultimate Peter Pan and I’m afraid way too many middle-aged men look to Californication as a “how-to” for their lives.  I haven’t watch the series in years so it is possible the character had a brain tumor that was causing his faulty personality and once removed he became an emotional stable man, but I doubt it.

Hank Moody in all his Moody glory.  Source

Hank Moody in all his Moody glory. Source

Giving yourself the name “Hank Moody” is the reddest of red flags.  It’s like saying, “I’ll only go out with you if you are a model (which has actually been said to me on a dating site) and want to be used for sex and thrown away the next day … or the next hour depending on my mood.  You get nothing out of this except for the joy of my company which many have suggested is witty and sharp but in reality is the result of a deeply disturbed and unhappy man.”  No thanks.  I’ll pass.

For the record I suggest that men of dating sites stay away from all Showtime idols as sources of code names.  Hank Moody, Dexter, Ray Donovan, and Marty Kaan should all be avoided.  There is a difference in liking a TV show (I like 3 of 4 that these characters are a part of) and choosing a troubled character as your onscreen dating persona.