Tag Archives: Match.com

Beyond Match.com

04 Thursday Sep 2014

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photo 1 (79)As you know I broke up with Match.com and eHarmony.  I’ve moved on to the dating apps!  Now I’m all about Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel.  Both of these apps pull from friends of friends of friends on Facebook and match you up with dudes (or dudettes) who have also signed up.  So far I’ve had zero success.  Nada.  Nothing.  It’s one of those things were if you “ok” a guy your info gets sent to them and if they “ok” you, then you can communicate.  I “ok” almost everyone.  Why not?  

On Coffee Meets Bagel (What the hell is that name mean?  I’m seriously asking.  I don’t get it.  They seem to have the tag line, “What happens at noon?”  I guess coffee meets bagel, but that doesn’t clear anything up for me.  In fact it makes it even more confusing.  Wouldn’t you consider coffee AND bagels breakfast items.  Who is the bagel and who is the coffee?  Actually I guess I’m the coffee because I’m told by the app that my “bagel is waiting for me.”  I suppose I’d much rather be the coffee. photo 4 (43) Personally I don’t drink coffee but at least it’s adjectives like “hot” and “exhilarating.”  Bagels are “white” and “doughy.”  Horrible name.) I’ve had zero matches.  I’ve said “yes” to lots (you get one match a day unless you buy/earn more “bagels” — again, no idea what that means).

Hinge I like better.  You get a handful of matches a day.  I’ve had 13 mutual “matches.”  None of them have written me.  One day, while at a bar with a friend, I said, “Screw it.  I’m writing all of them.”  So I did.  I sat there and wrote to each and every one.  I heard back from one dude who said Hinge was overwhelming and he missed my note.”  Really?  He is overwhelmed by so many responses he missed my little outreach.  I, on the other hand, have nothing. 

I got side tracked.  Telling you about the dating apps I’ve tried and their success rate wasn’t my initial message when writing this blog post.  This was:

Isn’t it a pisser when you go on your dating site and realize the old dude you were matched up with is indeed within your dating age range?  Total hit to the ego.

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Showtime Idols

18 Wednesday Sep 2013

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HowAboutMe suggested I might like this guy. He is, apparently, a kola (only picture of him on his profile.)

HowAboutMe suggested I might like this guy. He is apparently a kola (only picture of him on his profile.)

As you know I dislike Match.com.  While I was angry at them I joined up with HowAboutWe and then immediately ignored it.  This week I decided to go on and start checking things out.

HowAboutWe is specifically designed, if used correctly, to go against one of my biggest complaints about online dating.  No one actually wants to go for a date.  Email – sure!  Text – always!  Msgr – okay!  Meet for drinks – NO WAY JOSE!  I still don’t understand how you are supposed to date without dating but apparently that is how it is done now.  On the HowAboutWe site you think up date ideas, post them, and then guys/gals reach out to you if they want to partake.  How much easier can they make it?

I posted a few date ideas and had gotten a few responses.  The response I got the most was “I’m intrigued.”  Which, if you haven’t guessed already, is the default response if someone is … intrigued.  It’s the bar meeting equivalent of sitting next to a pretty girl but not talking nor making eye contact hoping she will talk to you first.  A good majority of those guys I emailed back and so far one has responded.  He suggests we exchange yahoo messenger ids so we can IM each other.  NO …. NO NO NO NO NO … THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS PROMISED.  IM each other?  NO!  You were intrigued by my date idea … LET’S DO THAT!  Good lord.  Do I have to do everything?  Put your good shirt on, get in your car, and go on a date.

That was annoying but not as annoying as this guy:

Capture2

Hank fucking Moody.  THAT is who he named himself after.  Do you know who Hank Moody is?  Let me explain.  Hank Moody is the main character of Showtime’s Californication.  He is disgusting.  DISGUSTING.  It’s like if you took Mulder (or was he Scully.  I didn’t watch that show.) stripped him of his dignity, refused to allow him to shave, force feed him a bunch of addictions (booze, sex, stupidity, smoking, weed), and had him roll around in Asshat juice.  He is the ultimate Peter Pan and I’m afraid way too many middle-aged men look to Californication as a “how-to” for their lives.  I haven’t watch the series in years so it is possible the character had a brain tumor that was causing his faulty personality and once removed he became an emotional stable man, but I doubt it.

Hank Moody in all his Moody glory. Source

Hank Moody in all his Moody glory. Source

Giving yourself the name “Hank Moody” is the reddest of red flags.  It’s like saying, “I’ll only go out with you if you are a model (which has actually been said to me on a dating site) and want to be used for sex and thrown away the next day … or the next hour depending on my mood.  You get nothing out of this except for the joy of my company which many have suggested is witty and sharp but in reality is the result of a deeply disturbed and unhappy man.”  No thanks.  I’ll pass.

For the record I suggest that men of dating sites stay away from all Showtime idols as sources of code names.  Hank Moody, Dexter, Ray Donovan, and Marty Kaan should all be avoided.  There is a difference in liking a TV show (I like 3 of 4 that these characters are a part of) and choosing a troubled character as your onscreen dating persona.

Screw off Match.com

22 Thursday Aug 2013

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I’m angry at Match.com.  I was going to do the “right” thing and put together a well thought out letter to inform them of my unhappiness toward the company.  Alas, I’m having a bummer day and have no time, energy, or compassion for such an effort.  Instead I’m going to rant about them on this blog post and them direct them to it!

I’ve been a member of Match.com on and off for YEARS … Y E A R S.  I’ve been on many many dates, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  In general I’m an easy date “get” (vs. just an easy date).  I will go out with almost anyone that asks from the site.  If nothing else I get a drink and a story out of it.  Unfortunately constant interaction through the world-wide web has taken away people’s “dating” skills.  It is not uncommon for me to suggest we meet for a drinks (after a few emails back and forth) only to never hear from the guy again.  Apparently what these “men” are looking for is a virtual girlfriend and/or a hooker.  I’m neither of these things …. sorry boyz!

Over the past few months, lots of months, I’ve gotten no “hits” at all.  Everyday I go in and look at my 5 suggested matches and “show interest” in almost anyone who has a picture.  Nothing.  Nada.  Simply nothing.  No response.  No one cares.  Nothing.

CaptureSo I made the decision that seems obvious.  I stopped paying the site and cancelled my subscription.  Now I get hits ALL THE TIME.  Wacky right?  Guys “wink” at me, show interest, email … it’s a friggin’ Wendy parade on that site right now.  Now what has changed between pre cancellation and now?  I think it is more than obvious that Match.com is being a bit shady.  My theory is that they are now showing my profile to more people in their “daily matches.”  Like me, they are probably wondering why no one is responding to them.  We can’t …. we are off the site.  Good business … maybe.  Depends on how you define “good.”  Personally I consider it bad business as in bad customer service, bad reflection on your brand, bad money hungry folks somewhere sitting around being in charge.

Here is what Match.com could/would/may have said had I actually written that carefully thought out letter:

You have too many pictures with dogs.  Dogs are my job.  Like it or lick it.

You have too many pictures without make up on.  I don’t wear make up a majority of my day.  I look good … screw you.

Your profile doesn’t say much.  Like people look at anything but the pictures.

You don’t accept “everyone.”  True.  I tend to pass on those who I know will be upset by me being an atheist.  That is a pretty big deal breaker for some folks.

You don’t accept people who don’t want kids.  Right now that is a deal breaker for me.

photo (4)You don’t reach out enough on your own.  True enough.  I’m busy.  Back off.

You aren’t warm and feminine enough.  Screw you.  Your mom is a whore.  (This isn’t true.  I have not even seen Match.com’s mom let alone know if she is a “whore.)

Whatever excuse they come up with the truth is I’m getting WAY more responses now that I’m not paying for the service and can’t gain access/respond to nice men vs. when I was paying a monthly fee.

So I say … “SCREW OFF MATCH.COM.”

 

Peter Pan and Wendy

28 Friday Jun 2013

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If you try finding a definition for “Peter Pan Complex,” as I just did, on the internet you aren’t going to be completely satisfied.  Some definitions are just silly, like the Urban Dictionary, and some are overly complicated and confusing.  So let’s use this one from the Medical Dictionary in the Free Dictionary online.  After all it says “medical” in the title so it must be correct:

“Any clinical complex named for the ‘boy who wouldn’t grow up’Endocrinology A state of physical immaturity due to a hypothalamic defect with underdeveloped sexual characteristics Psychology A fanciful term for a state of unconscious postponement of maturity, characterised by magical thinking, narcissism and chauvinism”

Shockingly there is also an oodle of angry female bloggers who find this topic worth a blog posting or two.  You can add mine to the list!

At 39 I’m younger than most of my male friends and 10 years older than most of their girlfriends.  In fact, when one of them “choose” to date someone in their 40s they are applauded for dating “within their age range.”  Sigh … it must be so easy to be a guy.  You get a pat on the back for even attempting to be an adult.  No offense to my male friends (although I’m doubtful any of them read this blog — so screw them — I’ll say what I want) or their female dating partners.  Some, many, a few, have been really nice with no “daddy issues” at all.  I just happened to think of my guy friends the other night when I was on Match.com looking through the profiles of guys Match felt would be good a fit for me.  All were older than I am and ALL had dating age rages much younger than me.  Today is a new day so let’s go to Match and see what they are suggesting right now:

FitAndFunInLB – he is 38.  He is seeking women 21-35.  (Refuses to even go to his own age.  Sadly this is not at all uncommon.)

ChicanoStyle1976 – he is 36.  He is seeking women 18-36. (Barely legal?  Sure.  1 day older than him?  NO WAY.)

wkndCBR – he is 41.  He is seeking women 30-35 (I suppose we should applaud him for not going under 20)

Lucky20_12 – he is 42.  He is seeking women 27-37 (I suppose there is some poetry in the 7-7)

USCsmiley – he is 44.  He is seeking women 29-38 (oooohhh … I was so close)

FrankTheTank562 – he is 41.  He is seeking women 25-38 (missed it again!)

beargallbladder – he is 41.  He is seeking women 26-31 (that 5 year age range seems to be a go to for a good number of “men.”  I suppose I’ll have to just skip trying to email ol’ Bear Gall Bladder.)

I could keep going but I won’t.  You get the idea.  Note that Match suggested all these guys to me although technically, per their profile, I’m too old for all of them.   Guys.  Come on.  It’s so painfully unattractive.  I wish I had the guts to post the pictures that go with these profiles.  You wouldn’t be looking at George Clooney or Brad Pitt.  These are real world 40ish year olds.  They look …. real world 40ish.  Come on 25ish year old women … you can do better than that gray-haired old man.  What are you doing wasting your premium dating years on these old geezers?

To be fair I did cherry pick this list of guys to prove a point.  There were a few that would dare to date little ol’ 39 year old me.  So I’m sorry for lumping the good with the bad.  The good should really go hold those other guys accountable for their actions and let them know they are giving “men” a bad name.  After all as soon as I spot one of the good ones I see a profile that starts like this …

“hellow laidys whats up looken for looken for some one that is simpul with a hight sex drive that likes to have a open mind and do all kinds of stuff camp ride dirt bikes water skie river all that type of stuff and a nice body not scar… “ – Match.com fake name withheld because he doesn’t deserve to have it mentioned.

During my research (aka looking through the internet) I found a number of articles that suggest us women are the reason behind the “Peter Pan Syndrome” because we allow it.  Okay … let’s make a pact.  Enough.   We expect our men to be just that, MEN.  Man up boyz … the gig is up (now someone go tell those 25-year-old women …).

To end this post and go out into the weekend on a positive note, here are some pics of my current doggie guests, Chloe and Mashugana … adorable (and owned by well educated, financially secure, fun and funny, single women who live in LA and wouldn’t be considered “date-able” by the morons listed above … their loss).

photo (11) image (12) image (13)