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photo 1 (79)As you know I broke up with Match.com and eHarmony.  I’ve moved on to the dating apps!  Now I’m all about Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel.  Both of these apps pull from friends of friends of friends on Facebook and match you up with dudes (or dudettes) who have also signed up.  So far I’ve had zero success.  Nada.  Nothing.  It’s one of those things were if you “ok” a guy your info gets sent to them and if they “ok” you, then you can communicate.  I “ok” almost everyone.  Why not?  

On Coffee Meets Bagel (What the hell is that name mean?  I’m seriously asking.  I don’t get it.  They seem to have the tag line, “What happens at noon?”  I guess coffee meets bagel, but that doesn’t clear anything up for me.  In fact it makes it even more confusing.  Wouldn’t you consider coffee AND bagels breakfast items.  Who is the bagel and who is the coffee?  Actually I guess I’m the coffee because I’m told by the app that my “bagel is waiting for me.”  I suppose I’d much rather be the coffee. photo 4 (43) Personally I don’t drink coffee but at least it’s adjectives like “hot” and “exhilarating.”  Bagels are “white” and “doughy.”  Horrible name.) I’ve had zero matches.  I’ve said “yes” to lots (you get one match a day unless you buy/earn more “bagels” — again, no idea what that means).

Hinge I like better.  You get a handful of matches a day.  I’ve had 13 mutual “matches.”  None of them have written me.  One day, while at a bar with a friend, I said, “Screw it.  I’m writing all of them.”  So I did.  I sat there and wrote to each and every one.  I heard back from one dude who said Hinge was overwhelming and he missed my note.”  Really?  He is overwhelmed by so many responses he missed my little outreach.  I, on the other hand, have nothing. 

I got side tracked.  Telling you about the dating apps I’ve tried and their success rate wasn’t my initial message when writing this blog post.  This was:

Isn’t it a pisser when you go on your dating site and realize the old dude you were matched up with is indeed within your dating age range?  Total hit to the ego.