Tag Archives: dad

39 Acts of Kindness – 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and 22

04 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Whew I’m beat! Doing nice things really takes it out of you. This weekend was full of niceness so let’s get right to it.

good#17 – Sudoku for Dad. My dad likes Sudoku puzzles. He sits in the living room or in the backyard on the porch swing and works on them for hours. They would make me crazy! Most Sudoku books are set up so they include easy, medium, and hard puzzles. A new book means new easy puzzles which, if you are my dad, can be done in pen. Apparently using a pen is quite the test of your Sudoku skills. I picked up a Sudoku book at the dollar store last week and stuck it in the mail along with a little note.

#18 and #19 – Flowers in the mail. Do you know who likes flowers and frilly stationary? Two of my aunts! I sent them each flowers. Well, I sent them infant flowers in the form of seeds. According to the chart on the back of the packages my aunt in Santa Cruz can start planting right away while my aunt who lives outside of Portland will have to wait a few months. Hopefully it will add more color to what can already be considered two very colorful gardens.

#20 – Shopper help. While at the grocery store, Ralphs, on Friday I helped a gentleman find the popcorn. Since the popcorn is in the same aisle as the soda, chips, sparking water, and Propel it is an aisle that I’m intimately familiar with. I like to call it the best aisle in the grocery store!

#21 – Man down. Yesterday was a doozy of a day! I got up early to start prepping for my tea party (see good deed number 22) and had most of the day planned down to the minute before quests arrived. Unfortunately, the main sewer line decided this would be a good time to back up. That meant an emergency call into the plumber and me having to drive to McDonalds to use their restroom! Driving home from my bathroom break I went by Ralphs (same grocery store as good deed number 20). As I was turning the corner I noticed a man who was extremely off-balance and couldn’t catch himself. He went down HARD partially in the planter, partially on the sidewalk, and partially against the tree. As I made a U-Turn to pull into the Ralphs parking lot 2 different people walked right by the guy and did nothing. How is that possible? After parking I ran over to him to see if he was okay. He wasn’t. Apparently he had hurt his ribs earlier and was on pain medication which, according to him, causes problems with his balance. Now his ribs hurt again. Falling in to a tree then onto the ground can do that to you. He insisted he was fine but couldn’t get up past his elbows and while moaning threw up. At that point a couple of women were behind me and asked if they should call 911. I turned around to say yes but they saw him throw up and walked away saying he was a drunk. Now it is possible he was drinking but he didn’t smell of alcohol and could carry on full conversations with me without slurring. He was shaky but not slurry. To me he was showing signs of Parkinsons or something like that. Luckily a man walking his dog stopped a few steps away from us and asked if he should call the paramedics. The poor man on the ground said no while I frantically shook my head yes. The good Samaritan listened to me and immediately got on his cell phone. The poor man on the floor was able to finally sit up but he was pale and still shaking so I sat down with him and we talked until help arrived. I knew he wanted to get up and leave but I really didn’t think he could stand again without falling down. I kept suggesting he should stay sitting for a while longer. I was just trying to buy time until the paramedics came as I didn’t want to have to be the one to try to catch him if he tried to stand up. We talked about how he lived across the street and should have brought his cane along with him. We talked about how responsible it was for him to bring his own grocery bag and how soon it would be the law in the area. He explained that he didn’t like plastic bags and I told him how I used them to pick up my dog’s poop. He didn’t have that same use for the bags as he had a cat. FINALLY every cop and fire truck in the neighborhood (which was 2 fire trucks and 3 cop cars) circled us. As the cop stood there questioning the man I stood up, brushed myself off and explained to the cop that I needed to go. He said that was fine so I shook the man’s hand, who was still on the ground, and the dog walkers hand and took off for my car. Now waaaaaayyyyy behind schedule!

The plumber showed up about 1/2 hour before a nice couple dropped off their boxer, Bud. To help make money while I’m looking for a job I signed up as a dog host (dog sitter) on the site DogVacay (http://dogvacay.com/pro/wendyandriggins). Bud’s mom contacted me that morning saying their original sitter was being non-responsive and asked if I could take Bud for a couple of days. I couldn’t say no, so Bud showed up during this chaos. Not the best way to introduce two dogs but after Riggins (7 years old) put baby Bud (2 years old) in his place a couple of times everything was good.

#22 – Friendly Tea (with dogs). To show my girlfriends how much I appreciate them I treahosted a tea for all. My friends are big planners and I threw this at them with only 6 days notice. Luckily many were still able to clear their calendars and join the fun. In between everything else I did that morning I frantically made cucumber sandwiches (It’s just weird to me how good cucumber sandwiches are.), chicken salad sandwiches (Recipe found here – http://arismenu.com/cranberry-apple-chicken-salad/), turkey and cheddar sandwiches (Recipe found here – http://www.stonegableblog.com/2010/05/tea-sandwich-recipes.html. I actually served them open-faced on big wheat crackers. Well … because I was sick of making sandwiches. The crackers are delicious. I topped them with scrambled egg whites this morning for breakfast. Also I skipped the poppyseed dressing.), and mini apple pie bites (Recipe found here – http://pinterest.com/pin/248823948133965180/. These were delicious but looked NOTHING like that picture.).

After pulling out and washing my grandma’s good china and setting everything up I was finally ready for guests.

My friends, Anna, Laurie, Cathy, Darci, Tiffany, Stevie, and Lucie along with Bud, Riggins, and Chloe (Darci’s tiny little white dog) sat in my backyard to enjoy tea, small sandwiches, and fun. Based on the day I had I announced that I was going to have one cup of tea so it could officially be called a “tea party” then I was moving to wine. So that is what we all did! Everyone seemed to have fun. Bud spent most of his time under the table or, if Riggins wasn’t watching, in my lap (there was a minor incident of Bud and Chloe making an escape but we won’t talk about that). Riggins sat on the lap of the person with the most food and/or who he felt should be petting him. This included laying his chin on my friend Cathy’s lap until she gave up, and allergies and all gave him a pat on the head. Chloe made her way around to all along with being the most active scavenger. The big dogs had dropped their sweet potato treats and Chloe decided it was her job to find them all for her to enjoy. Seems fair. We all had a great time and there is a push to make this a quarterly event with rotating hosts.

I hope your weekend was as fun filled as mine (minus the plumber, the dog escapes, etc.).

Act of Kindness Roll-Call:

To be continued …

Fluff (As Promised)

18 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by in Riggins

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

logan and rigginsAfter yesterdays downer of a post I promised you fluff today. So here you go! What is fluffier than kids and dogs. I dare say nothing!

Riggins has never really been a kid friendly dog. It isn’t his fault. He just never had any children around him when he was growing up. When I moved into my current house I had a housewarming party and one of my good friends brought her adorable baby boy to the party. He sat, like a cute blob, in one of my outdoor folding chairs and Riggins would have none of it. He circled that kid, head down butt up, and growled and growled. I usually say Riggins doesn’t like kids because of their frantic energy or high-pitched squealing (let’s face it both those things bother us too it just isn’t social acceptable to put our butt up in the air and growl at them) or the fact that they are at his height staring right into his eyes and heading straight for him in what he translates into an attack. None of that explains why he growled at my friends baby. That poor kid wasn’t even old enough to talk. He was literally just sitting there barely moving.

You can imagine my concern when my sister had her children. I took time off of work when my nephew was born so I could be with them. After Logan was born I spent two nights in my sister’s house on my own discussing with Riggins that he was not to eat the new baby. I did all those things you read about. Brought a blanked (or something) to have him sniff before meeting Logan, etc. I have to say it was a shock how he reacted. He was cool with the kid. When my niece was born he was cool with her as well. I was shocked. I can only assume he could feel that they were family and more importantly if he did something to hurt one of them he would be up a creek without a paddle!

We have had our ups and downs. Riggins was extremely jealous of any attention the kids got. If there was a baby on your lap you can guarantee Riggins was trying to sneak up on your lap too. He was a master of pushing his nose under the lump of baby and wiggling his way in between the two humans. He still is jealous but as the kids grow it has gotten better. When we are home he can go weeks without wanting to come up on the couch with me and snuggle, preferring to spend his time in front of the open door or curled up in the dark under the dinning room table. Then we get to my sister’s house and he has to prove he is my baby. Most of the time during our visit he can be found draping himself on my lap.

I still have to remind both kids that running = playing. They seem to like being chased by the big black dog at first until they realize the next part of play is a tackle! We were at the local winery by my sister’s house once where both dogs and kids can run free. Logan took off giggling with Riggins in full flight behind him. Dogs are faster than kids so it was only a matter of a few feet before Riggins took the lead and did so by happily pushing Logan down. He was fine. He is short and his fall was on grass and a zillion autumn leaves but he was shocked and the laughter coming from his family did not help one bit!

The most amazing thing is what he allows my niece, Kira, to get away with. They love each other. When she was younger she would walk around the house behind Riggins with her hand on his butt. She is CONSTANTLY wanting to kiss him. Makes me nervous and Ikira and riggins always have to remind her not to bother Riggins while he is eating or sleeping. He has allowed her to use him as an ottoman and a blanket and once while camping allowed her to put colorful smiley face stickers all over him. Every once in a while he will look up with a “well what do you want me to do? She’s adorable. We all make sacrifices for family” look on his face.

My family and I still watch the kids like a hawk when they are around Riggins. Like I said before dogs are animals and can lash out at anytime but Riggins has shown a level of patience I never expected from him. He has even gotten better with other kids. Better ….. not great!

I hope you enjoyed your end of the work week fluff piece! Have a great weekend.

The Best Medicine

17 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in work

≈ 25 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

sad(I’ve been hesitant to post this. Do people really want to hear the ramblings and sorrow of a crazy person? Will people judge me? I’m still tied down by the stigma I feel around the diagnosis of depression. The thought that it isn’t a real mental disease, that it just means you are weak and unable to deal with regular ol’ life, that you are just being selfish and mean to friends/family, and so on and so forth. I finally decided to post because of all of this. I don’t want to be ashamed of being sick and having the strength to get help. Perhaps my story can help someone else. I know when it came time for me to push back my own mental negativity toward depression medication and take that leap it helped me to know that people I love and respect had at one time, or still are, been treated for depression. It helped show me that I wasn’t weak and I wasn’t alone. I hope my story can do the same for someone else. If you aren’t inline with this thinking or just don’t want to deal with it please feel free to skip today’s post. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be back to a fluffier topic like the crazy antics of adorable Riggins, the insanity of my last date, or my novice ramblings on how dogs and people should live together.)

The other day I was sitting on the sofa and looked over at Riggins and started laughing. Real honest, can’t stop crying, laughter. He was just so cute. His ears were pulled down and his bright orange eyes were staring out at me and he looked just like a little cartoon woodland creature (actually a specific one but I can’t for the life of me remember the character’s name nor what show he is on so it isn’t much help to you or this story). All of a sudden it hit me. I was LAUGHING. Real honest to goodness LOLing right there in my livingroom. It made me think back and I realized my last week has been full of laughter. Talking to my mom, hanging out with my dad, Skyping with my sister and her family, at dinner with friends, watching TV (did you see that episode of The Big Bang Theory where they were dressed up as characters from Star Trek:The Next Generation? I laughed out loud at that episode no less than 1/2 a dozen times). This realization made me so completely happy. You see I had been struggling with a devastating depression and hadn’t laughed, really laughed, in a long time.

Let me start by saying I know I have a wonderful life. I’m honestly so lucky to be surrounded by friends, family, and Riggins. All who love me for who I am and will always be there for me. I say that because as I get into my story it starts to sound like I don’t understand that. I do. I just couldn’t see that through the darkness at the time.

I’m not naive enough to think my depression was caused by one event. I can tell you that the one event, my job, was the straw that broke the camels back. Even saying that it was just my job isn’t true. I really looked forward to working with many of my co-workers and enjoyed the somewhat new and exciting world I lived in of social media. I could list off everything that contributed to “the job” being my undoing but I don’t want to. It isn’t important.

Looking back two things astonish me. One, I didn’t realize sooner that I was in real trouble. There were so many signs! There was absolutely no reason for me to hurt as much as I did. Two, I am impressed with my strength to seek help and claw my way out. The battle of human vs. depression is not an easy one and anyone who tells you it is should go jump in a lake because his pants are on fire!

So what were those signs? What was I really feeling? I seem to have so many stories but I want to share the few that really lead me to knowing I needed help, finding it, and taking the scary steps to making it happen.

I was on a business trip in Chicago. As usual I was up late the night before working, didn’t sleep well in the hotel bed (the fist night in any hotel is never great), and woke up early to attend conference calls and do work before heading out for my day of meetings. That was the first time that I realized I was losing my shit over things that shouldn’t bother me. My morning was a disaster and I can’t even tell you why. I just know that I sat at a desk, on the phone, doing emails, crying. Everything threw me into a tailspin. I was full and couldn’t handle anything else no matter how small or insignificant. Anything and everything would cause me to overflow. Just before I had to leave for a meeting I tried pulling myself together, grabbed my 1 quart plastic bag with my 3oz or smaller containers of make up and looked in the mirror. I stopped short and put down the bag. I had never seen someone so sad as the person staring back at me in that mirror. Make-up wouldn’t help. I put on my jacket, grabbed my computer, and left the room for my meeting. The show must go on.

It got to the point that I couldn’t go a day without crying. When not on the road and working from home I’d throw myself on my bed and sob. Full out gasping for air sobbing. Riggins was going out of his mind. He didn’t know what was happening or what to do. He’d jump on the bed next to me as far away as possible and then get on his stomach and army crawl up to me until his nose was touching my face. This is when I realized my condition wasn’t just hurting me. It was hurting others. I came to realize that Riggins didn’t mind spending days after days and week after week with my folks while I was traveling for work. Why would he. My parents house was a fun happy house while mine was covered in a shroud of darkness and unhappiness. Who wants to hang out there?

One morning I finally realized it was all too much. I needed help. I called my primary care physician and was told that I could get in to see him in a week. The receptionist asked if that was okay and I agreed. After all I had lasted months being sad what’s a few more days? (I’m trying to think of another adjective beyond “sad” that I can use in this post and just can’t come up with one. That’s what I was. That’s how I described it.) A little later in the morning I got in my car and took off to get a soda. This was how I gave myself time outs in my day. I’d load up Riggins and we would visit one of the many fast food drive thrus in the area and order a large diet coke. Sometimes, to shake things up, with extra ice. While in the car I called my mom and dad (using Bluetooth of course) and immediately lost it. When asked what was wrong my response was, “I’m just sad. I’m just so sad.” (Time out for a second. Can you imagine being on the phone with your daughter and hearing that???? I mean how heart wrenching is that. I suppose this is the perfect time to take a step back and address my friends and family. I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for any trouble or heartache my depression caused you. It was unfair for you to have to take that on but I’m so lucky that you did. Thank you for being so caring and wonderful. I love you.) Since driving was impossible through the tears I pulled over into the Walgreen’s parking lot and stopped the car. When I could talk without gasping for air I called my doctor’s office and told them they had to see me today and as soon as possible. I needed help. Not just a pat on the back and a “it’s going to be okay.” I needed help from a doctor and I needed it as soon as possible.

Driving to the doctor’s I couldn’t stop crying. Not sobbing more like leaking. In the parking lot I tried to pull myself together. I was honestly concerned that the doctor would see me and immediately admit me into the hospital for treatment. I went through every exercise any female executive learns on how to trigger the other side of your brain and keep from crying. Look up and to the left, do math in your head, and if all else fails make a fist with your hand and jam your nail into your palm. None of this helped. This wasn’t an angry or sadness that was coming from an external source like being flown to NY to be yelled at by your CEO in front of your peers while he mispronounces your name as Wednesday (happened). This was an internal source of sadness. One at a time every cell in my body was turning toward sadness and darkness. At this point I realized I was at war with a sickness that had a definite time limit. I had to find a way to regain the parts of me that I was loosing and do so before so much of me was gone there was no going back. That was the day I started depression medicine. It helped. It helped a ton. I went back a number of times until we found a combination of medicine that worked for me. I could breath again. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t on the cliff looking down with my toes hanging over it anymore.

One evening I was out with a very good couple friend of mine. We had dinner and then headed to a very cool bar for drinks. This bar was fabulous. Dive-y and the perfect Wendy vibe. I made the mistake of looking at my work email on my phone and that was it. Down the rabbit hole I went. My male friend asked me why I wasn’t having any fun. “Crap” I thought, “I can’t even fake it anymore.” I tried to assure him that I was, that I loved the bar, that it was just work stuff that I needed to shake off. It was then that I realized I was a giant liar. I wasn’t having fun. It was more than that. I couldn’t have fun. I went home and cried (shocker).

As I walked my life tightrope (with at lease a tiny net due to the drugs) my mantra became, “just get through it.” Just get through this early morning conference call. Just get through this business trip. Just get through this flight. Just get through this night. Just get through. That’s how I lived my life. Just barely getting through. One day I managed to give myself a concussion. That little adventure deserves it’s own blog post all by itself! Treatment for my self inflicted concussion was to do nothing. No work, no computer, no email, no phone calls, no TV, no books, nothing. For a second I saw what was important. My job wasn’t important I was important. I needed to get out of my job. This was no long a choice. It was a necessity. I started to plan how I could get a new job, one where I could be happy, and be able to leave my current one.

During my recovery my parents came over to check on me and have lunch. I remember sitting around my little dinning room table that once belonged to my grandmother, eating Taco Bell, and telling my parents I just need to get through it. Just needed to get through this week. Just needed to get through the two work trips that were on my calendar in the next couple of weeks. Just get through the holidays. They left and headed home. A couple of hours later I received a call from my dad. He suggested I should just go ahead and quit now. My father is the most logical human on the planet. I simply can not imagine a situation where he would not just condone but suggest that I leave a job without having another income available to me right away. That’s what I had gotten to. The unimaginable.

So I quit. It was really difficult. The company didn’t want me to leave and I had a number of discussions with people higher up the chain than me trying to convince me that staying was the best action to take. I didn’t tell them I was depressed. I didn’t tell them I had spent the last year hurting myself, my family, my friends, and my beloved dog. I just told them it wasn’t a good fit for me. I had my doubts a number of times. There was more than once that I almost lost the strength and took my resignation letter back. After all, as I mentioned near the beginning of this post, I really did like working with a number of my co-workers. One of my very good friends must have sensed this and sent me an email. She reminded me that during one of my business trips I had sent her an email saying I wouldn’t mind if the plane crashed because at least then I wouldn’t have to do this trip. CAN YOU IMAGINE SENDING THAT TO SOMEONE? How horrific! I didn’t just think that, I wrote that down in an email and sent it to someone I loved and didn’t think twice about it. Nail in the coffin. I was quitting.

Now on paper I should really be depressed! I have no job and don’t really have any hot leads. I’m struggling with the decision of staying in my profession or taking the hard step of leaving all I have accomplished and finding a career that may be more morally fulfilling (aka make less money). On paper I should be depressed but I’m not! I’m happy. I’m beyond happy. I’m laughing. My life is good! I realize I still have work to do. I have yet to go to therapy. I know I should but I haven’t been able to take that leap yet. Dr. Drew would be so unhappy with me going the pill route first without even trying talking to a professional. But that is what I had to do to save myself. (If you have read any of my blogs you know I adore Dr. Drew. Did you know he has his own podcast now? It’s like a wave of calm and sanity amongst the insanity fo life. He has one podcast that he does on his own and one he does with Adam Carolla. You should defiantly go subscribe to both – http://adamcarolla.com/carolladigital/.)

I realize this was a long posting but I hope it helps someone. Please please please, if you find yourself starting to slip down the spiral of sadness and depression get help. Don’t wait as long as I did. Get help as soon as you can. Go to your primary care physician and tell him/her what is happening. Grab a friend or family member by the arm, tell him/her you need help and don’t let go until they help you. Later, after you are better you can apologize for being selfish (because you had to be) and thank them for the strength they gave you.

Like me you have a right to be happy. Like me you deserve to laugh.happy

(This picture is from our annual ladies holiday dinner this year. I love it glowing eyes and all because I’m laughing!)

Daddy Knows Best

04 Wednesday Aug 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

,


I’ve already suggested in a post that my Mom is brilliant so it makes sense that dad deserves his own blog post too. Last night I was in a deep depression due to the fact that my back log of NCIS episodes (I only started watching this last season so had lots of old ones saved up) had been depleted. I quickly went through the TV Guide to find some more to record all the time wondering why I didn’t start watching this show earlier. I LOVE IT. In fact one of the characters, Special Agent Anthony, made my top TV character lists (lists found here and here). In fact, I love all the characters. Well not Abby. Her character is like fingernails on a chalk board but, based on the research my company does, my opinion is not the norm. To each his own.

How did I get hooked on NCIS so close to it’s final season? Dad. See mom and dad don’t have cable so TV options at their house are limited. Visits home require you to watch an actual broadcast network (although with digital they now get those sub channels like This TV which my dad insists is as good as any cable movie channel). This very much limits my program options. One such evening dad insisted NCIS was worth my time. He was right! In fact he is often right. If it wasn’t for him I’d never have started watching Bones, How I Met Your Mother (which I don’t think he watches anymore but I’m a loyal supporter of anything NPH does), The Big Bang Theory, and Boston Legal (I have to give some credit on this one to a co-worker) just to name a few. How empty my life would have been without these lovely programs.

It makes me think of things I’ve missed out on when he told me I’d like a something and I refused to give it a shot. Perhaps Buffy was the best TV show of all time and I missed out. Naaaaaaaah.