Monthly Archives: July 2010

Knows Her Onions?

30 Friday Jul 2010

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From one of today’s Chemistry “matches”:

“Well i can say is I’m good looking ,sincere,hardworking,easy going,love life,love people,caring,loves nature ..not a drinker or a socialite but i do it moderately cos being responsible is my watch word..i never smoke dont think i will ever do it.i love my family ..loves to travel and i thank God for my job cos it involves lot of traveling ..have never been married but i hope i find the right and special woman for me who will compliment me in all ways.

she must be decent,responsible,dont care if she is fat,short,or tall as long as she is good looking and knows her onions ..she ,must be caring,romantic,hard working but dont mind if she haven’t got a job..she must be friendly and accommodating,honest …i know she doesn’t have to be perfect Lol cos im not…..”

I don’t even know what that means so I guess I don’t know my onions. Sorry dude.

After laughing and laughing at this dude I looked up “know your onions” AND IT IS A REAL PHRASE — http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/know-your-onions.html. Who knew? I kinda feel bad. But not much. Sorry guy. I take back the mocking tone on that part of your writing … the rest on the other hand …

Just Call Him Mr. Sneaky

30 Friday Jul 2010

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Based on my past posts you should now know that sleep is precious to me and I take it very seriously. That is one of the reasons why I have a “no pets sleep with humans” policy (my mom is laughing out loud reading this). Riggins was pretty cool with this rule at one time and would even deny me his cuddling those early mornings I tried to make him come up into bed with me. The only time he really spent the night in the human bed with me is when he was sick or I was sick. Such a sweetie.

Then his b-day came and I made the grand decision that his giant ball mush bed was bad for his back (he is after all 5 now) and a flatter more orthopedic friendly bed would be the perfect gift. When the bed showed up I was happy with how comfy it looked but concerned with the lack of headrest (Riggins likes his pillow). I’ve tried many pillow options but to this day haven’t found an acceptable solution. The dramatic b-day bed change seems to have thrown Riggins for a loop and he decided my bed was where he wanted to be.

Recently I started the smack down again to get him back to his own bed and off of mine. As of now here is how this “smack down” is “working”:

* Usually when I go to bed I spend some time reading my book. It is during this 1/2 hr – hr that Riggins slowly stalks around and around the bed looking for his open chance to jump in. When he gets to the point right before a jump I command, “go to bed”. His response is to sulk off and try again in a bit.
* Riggins gives up his efforts about the same time I’m ready to turn off the reading light and get some shut eye. He knows now is not the time to make his move and instead pretends he is in a deep slumber.
* From his bed Riggins monitors my REM sleep. Waiting for the moment when I will be off my guard.
* Super early morning I’m in a deep slumber and he makes his move. He slowly gets up and tip toes to the bed. In one effortless jump he lands on top and freezes. Giving the bed time to settle with his weight and to verify that I haven’t been disturbed by his super sneaky actions. He then slowly lowers himself down. Not his favorite position but it will do for now. He has made it to the bed undetected.
* Later I find myself awake. Most likely to use the restroom but sometimes it just occurs to me I’m no longer alone on my little bed island. At this point I’m too tired to give a flying flip and although I may mutter a couple of half hearted, “go to beds” he knows it doesn’t have the weight required behind it and gives me a look dripping in sarcasm that says, “sure … I’ll get right on that.”
* As I drift back to sleep again he knows he has me. I can’t fight him. I’m too groggy and sleepy and out of it. He takes advantage to make himself comfortable. He would prefer if all the humans and animals he loved slept on that bed together in one giant pack pile. Since he can’t have that he is going to make sure his tiny pack of Wendy/Riggins is as close as it can be. This means he has to find a way to be touching me. You would think that he would put his head on my ankles or something as non-obstructive. You’d be wrong.
* Riggins does his circle, circle flop (that circle thing dogs do before they lay down in a comfy position except instead of carefully laying down Riggins has a very dramatic flop he inserts at the end). The flop is designed to land 1/2 his body on top of mine so that it can slowly slip down my side and he can do it again, and again, and again. This position also demands a pillow be under his head. He is, after all, wanting to be comfy.
* Minutes before my alarm goes off Riggins carefully inches himself away from me to curl up in a ball at a safe distance hoping that I didn’t notice the shenanigans that happened all night so he can do it again tomorrow.

He knows how to sneak into those cracks and hit you when you are most venerable. He would give 007 a run for his money!

Fitting it All In!

29 Thursday Jul 2010

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As I mentioned in a previous blog I had to take Riggins to the vet early this morning (poor kid has to have a round of antibiotics and special shampoo for his skin allergies) and I have to get my hair cut and colored after work today (yes I HAVE to). Luckily I’m working from home today which means I was able to run during lunch!

Mid day run in LA in July = giant sweaty mess! I had no choice but to plop down next to Riggins on the floor to regain my breath, let the sweat dry a bit, and get my heart rate down.

Now this blog post would be a bit boring without some sort of rant so I got somethin’ for you. What is with these elastic head bands (said in my best Seinfeld voice)? Since my bangs currently cover my eyes I’ve had one on all morning but it is quickly driving me insane. How do you all keep these on your heads? Am I deformed? Do you all have some sort of “shelf” in the back of your head for the elastic band to hold onto? Mine tends to slowly slip up and off during the day. I would say it is due to my lack of hair to hold it down but I see girls at exercise class with their hair neatly pulled back into a pony tail and one of these bands still wrapped around their heads (seems like a little bit of an overkill to me but what do I know). What gives? I don’t seem to have the “keep the giant rubber band type object in place” gene that all other females have. Hmmffff.

Now off for a super quick shower before writing up a couple of proposals.

Did I mention I’m still sleepy?

Delete

29 Thursday Jul 2010

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I’m pretty sure this gentleman Chemistry.com wants me to date is a killer. What do you think? Looking for me … joined souls … live our lives free … AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Delete.

Super Weekend

28 Wednesday Jul 2010

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I realize my last post was a bit whiny so I thought I’d share with you my very cool weekend.

Fist off Sat was kicked off with a really nice 5K. The people running the event were very sweet and it was for a good cause (http://rosannametoyer.com/). I crossed the finish line with random people cheering me on by name, thanks to the guy on the mic’s ability to look up bib numbers fast and furious. On top of that I finally got back to my “fighting time” of crossing the line in under 30 minutes. With all the Bar Method classes I’ve been doing my weekly runs have been cut down to once a week which has been slowing me down during races. BUT I’M BACK!

After the quickest shower of all time I ran over to my friends house to help set up for a wonderful little boy’s 4th b-day party. Happily my sister and her family were down here so they got to go with me to the fantastical event. That means I got to spend quality time with my sister, mom and the babies and included chasing my nephew around a giant back yard and in and out of a bouncy house. Totally worth it as he is an adorable little bundle of cuteness. My niece was as cute but much easier to watch over! The adult after party went late and I was pooped when I hit my pillow.

Sat I was up early hiking with Riggins which made him crazy happy. He ran and ran and ran like his little butt was on fire. He was happy to fully ignore the cries of a couple men who demanded he was in the area where rattlesnakes are. Riggins has no fear and little common sense so he ignored them with a smile on his face as he raced around the no-go zone (one reason he has been vaccinated for rattlesnakes) and I hoped for the best!

On my way home Riggins and I swung by a friends house to drop off back to school gifts for her girls and were easily convinced to head off to breakfast. Two dogs, two women, and a yummy outdoor local restaurant equals fun post hike morning time for humans and animals!

Then off to see Salt and eat it with lovely movie popcorn and soda! I had been saving my “no caffeine” time out card for that moment. Nothing makes me happier than snuggling down in my hoodie in a movie theatre with a box of salty popcorn and a cup of bubbly soda! I even managed to not throw popcorn and the tool-ish dude to my right who thought his comments during the previous were hilarious enough for us all to hear … they weren’t … but my popcorn was too precious to waste on him!

Some grocery shopping, an arts and crafts project for a friend, and off to bed.

Woo hoo! Super duper fun weekend.

(Note there was no biking or swimming which means it HAS to happen this weekend. Also notice the mass of untamed hair on the top of my head in that picture. Told ya.)

Constant State of Ouch

28 Wednesday Jul 2010

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,

I’m in pain. Always. I’m tired. Always. Always. Always. Always. I’m in a constant state of ouch. Why? We are told that exercise makes you feel good, healthy, and relieves stress. Okay that may be, but all I do is feel the pain. Is this how professional athletes feel all the time? If so I take back all those things I’ve said about them not earning their large salaries. Those poor guys/gals must be in agony.

Due to a self made training schedule for my next Tri all I do is work, exercise, and sleep. Honestly. That’s it. The thing that gets cut in that schedule? Sleep, and for me working out more makes my body require more sleep. Since I have no control over the time allotted in one 24 hour day I have to make cuts somewhere. It seems slightly unfair that I hear daily, “wow you look exhausted” (aka you look horrible) when I’m exercising to be a more healthy and vibrant person.

Then there is the actual pain of this working out. PAIN. Honestly at any point in my day if you asked me “what hurts?” I’d have an answer for you. Right now, due to last night’s bar class, I’d tell you the back of my thigh, abs, biceps and butt (always my butt … my butt always hurts …. always.) My first bar class last Nov. the teacher said, “it gets easier but it always hurts.” The woman wasn’t kidding.

Here is the schedule I am hoping to keep …
Mon, Tue, Wed – Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Thur – Get up early to swim, work, walk Riggins at lunch, more work, Bar Method class, sleep.
Fri – Get up early to walk Riggins, Work, Run, Sleep.
Sat – Get up early to swim (before pool gets too crowded), bike or hike (I prefer hiking but I really have to bike at some point).
Sun – Get up early to bike (before the crazies come out in my neighborhood and mow me down in their car), hike or run (if I don’t hike it means I have to take Riggins to the dog park so hiking kills two birds with one stone and is my preferred activity even though I should run).

Your sleepy just reading that right? Sigh. Me too. The problem with that schedule is that it leaves little to no room for “life”. Life usually gets in my way of making this schedule work. This week is shot to hell. For example, yesterday I had to get up early to clean for the cleaning lady instead of walking Riggins. Tomorrow I HAVE TO get my hair cut/colored vs. going to Bar Method. Seriously if you saw my head right now you would realize this is this HAS to be done. Due to the need to socialize and be happy I’m going to dinner at a friends tonight instead of Bar Method and I may have to take Riggins to the vet tomorrow morning instead of going swimming. All that means is that I will feel the need to triple up on my workouts this weekend. Not a bad idea given that the it will help with my tri training. But zzzzzz. I’m too pooped to pop!

I suppose I need to find balance. You know what would help? Cutting something that takes up large chunks of my time … like work! That’s the ticket! I need to find a way to cut that. I’m buying a lotto ticket at lunch! I’m feeling lucky. Tired and in pain … but lucky!

Funny Story …

16 Friday Jul 2010

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So one of the things I do on my computer is work. One of the other things I do on my computer is write this blog. One of the cold calling/networking sites I use, LinkedIn, allows you to email prospects (well if you pay them enough money they allow you to email prospects). I’m convinced it is useless but my boss swears by it so I do it. I usually email a group of folks (in this case those that are in the “gaming” industry) a quick intro to our services and request to meet or have the info passed on to a more appropriate contact. Here’s the thing. These “blast” emails are somewhat useless so, although I do them, I tend to use the same wording over and over. Luckily for me most of the sections you have to fill out save what I’ve written before. All I do is click in the area that says “contact phone number” and my number pops up. Tada!

Problem — The subject line section in LinkedIn emails also seems to hold on to my Titles from my blog. So it is ENTIRELY possible that if I’m not careful, and you know I’m not, I’ll send a prospect an email with the title “Sir-Enough About Your Butt.”

This has almost happened enough times for me to think of the response I would have to the “what the ???!@!@!!” email back I would get. How’s this?

“Sorry sir I didn’t mean YOUR butt. Funny story. See I write this blog about my adventures of online dating and things I do with my dog. It isn’t nearly as pathetic as it sounds. Anyway, the title of one of my blog posts just popped up and I didn’t catch it before I hit “send”. Sorry about that. Back to the topic at hand. Can you buy some stuff from me? Thanks.”

I totally think that will work. If nothing else, if I make this mistake, someone might actually READ the email blasts I sent out!

Sir – Enough About Your Butt

15 Thursday Jul 2010

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Headline from one of Today’s Chemistry “matches”:

“hello i am very senstitive man and fanny honest caring and romantic latino for you so dont be scare you can contact me.”

Did he really say “fanny”? Yes. He did. He said it again in his “In His Own Words” section:

“hello well i can say to much about myself but you can ask me and i will tell you what you want to know i am here just to try on this site just let me know what you want to know.i am fanny guy and i like the movies, dancing, dinning and am ready for what you want. “

Despite his reassurances, I’m scare.

NOW You Have Standards

13 Tuesday Jul 2010

Posted by in online dating

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On online dating you have to understand that men don’t have good pictures of themselves. They just don’t. I forwarded a match to a friend today and when she said he scared her I reminded her of this fact. I told her my standards of pictures for online dating with guys is really low. As long as they:
* Aren’t obvious gang members.
* Are fully clothed
* Have pictures that don’t involve 1/2 naked strippers, dancers, Hooters waitress’
Their pictures pass!

There is a reason why I have these rules. You should see some of these pictures. I’m convinced many of these guys don’t actually own shirts and most of them really really really should. Remember the guy with the picture of a naked chick in his hallway and that is what his main photo was — a picture of that picture in his hallway. AT LEAST once a day I see a picture that is EXTREMELY questionable.

Can you explain then WHY Chemistry.com felt it was necessary to NOT allow me to post the picture above. It’s from my visit to Martha’s art studio in Philly. It is art AND reflects who I am. I’m sure certain folks, like my mom, will be happy this photo wasn’t accepted. BUT I’m cute in it! I need a cute semi-updated photo and I’ve had a case of the photo uglies lately which means I have limited choices.

Maybe if I was shirtless it would be acceptable.

Now For A Different View of Dating

12 Monday Jul 2010

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My friend Lisa and her adorable puppers (AKA Riggins girlfriend) are, like me, lookin’ for a man. She, like me, has a blog dedicated to her search (well mine isn’t totally dedicated to “dating” but it seems to have that general focus 75% of the time).

Now a handful of months back I read on Lisa’s Facebook page that she was getting married. I was so happy for her! Then I read further and thought she had taken a one way train ride into crazy town. Lisa has booked a wedding venue to coordinate with the anniversary of her grandparents and has now enlisted … well everyone … to help her find her groom. AND let me tell you I take back the crazy train ride thing because this gal is workin’ it. She has brilliantly managed to find men who will actually DATE her vs. just swap emails/texts/etc. Every time I go to her site she had done something super fun on a date. I can’t get a guy to stop emailing and meet for drinks and she is having guys taste wedding cakes with her (I take that back. I could have gone on that killer yacht trip if I really wanted to). I’m telling you she is some sort of dating superstar!

If you would like to read a more positive (I’m not saying that I’m not positive … wait … who am I kidding … if you are reading this then you’ve read my blog and I can’t pull one over on you!) response to mid-30’s ish dating then head on over to Lisa’s blog for some fun!

http://weblogs.cw33.com/news/local/projecthusband/