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Me Myself & Riggins

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Grandma Always Knows Best

28 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

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Tags

Big Mac, breakfast, Camping, date shake, dinner, egg white, family, food, grandma, Jack in the Box, Marie Calendars, McDonalds, pie, Taco Bell

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Grandma and Grandpa Clemmons

There is a serious food fight going on right now.  A fast food fight.  The chains of greasy goodness are going at it for your burger bucks.  You already know breakfast is my all time favorite fast food meal and really I appreciate the new egg white options.  If all the folks would now take Jack in the Box’s lead and serve those delicious sandwiches all day long I’d be in heaven.  Egg white and cheesy goodness heaven.  There are some new updates since my last post.  Taco Bell now has, what I consider genius, a waffle breakfast taco.  I can’t seem to convince myself to try it.  I REALLY want to but I think that the dream of it’s wonderful deliciousness can never live up to the real thing and I don’t want to be let down.  *** Breaking breakfast news …. Del Taco has a breakfast taco!  What???!!!!  Breakfast tacos are the best.  It’s tiny and compact and just enough so that your stomach doesn’t want to eat itself in the morning but not too much that you feel like you have consumed your daily calorie intake before 8AM.  Total breakfast breakthrough.

The next big fight after breakfast is the late night crowd or, as I’m sure the marketers of these establishments call them, the “drunk stoner folks with disposable income.”  Now I’m rarely out and about after 10 PM and if I am I’m not really looking for a 4th meal (thank you Taco Bell for that) but if I was I have quite a lot of options.  Jack in the Box seems to really have that crowd researched and buttoned down.   Awhile back when I was walking the neighborhood looking for lost Miles dog everything was closed up and dead EXCEPT the local Jack in the Box.  That place was HOPPING!  Recently I saw a commercial for McDonald’s newest late night option.  They offer a bogo (buy one get one) on the Big Mac.

The Big Mac!  When is the last time you have had one of those????  I live in Los Angeles.  I’m surprised they still sell them here.  Seriously I don’t know the last time I saw someone chowing down on two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce cheese, pickles onions, on a sesame seed bun.  The only person I know who LOVED Big Macs was my Grandma Clemmons.

My sister, Grandma, me and two of my cousins.

My sister, Grandma, me and two of my cousins.

My Grandma was a little woman who knew how to enjoy life!  She was the best and one thing that I remember is going to McDonalds with her and being in awe of her eating an entire Big Mac.  She loved those things!  She would also go to Marie Calendar’s and get a piece of pie  …. just cause!  It blew my mind!  You could go to Marie Calendar’s, sit down, and order a slice à la mode for no reason at all?  You sure could and if I was with my grandma it could even happen to me!!!

download (1)I remember going camping with my Grandma and having a blast.  She was the one who taught me the date shakes at Santa’s Village on the way to Santa Barbara are the best!  I camped with her at Carpinteria State Beach once.  Just her and me (other family members were there for a bit).  I remember looking at flowers with her and buying a t-shirt that said, “Should I be found anywhere else in the universe please return me to Carpinteria, CA for I’m highly respected and dearly loved in that city and they will gladly pay first class postage for me.”  It cracked me up.

download (2)I remember one holiday when I started choking on a hard candy and Grandma flung me upside down and smacked me on the back until I threw up the obstruction.  I was pretty shocked by that.  I wasn’t really sure what was happening.  I remember when my dad had a heart attack in Las Vegas and my sister and I stayed with my Grandma while my mom stayed with my dad in the hospital.  My aunt and cousins came down from Santa Barbara to hang with us.  We had a blast!  I still kinda feel bad about that … but I was with Grandma … I had a blast.

One of my favorite stories happened while driving home from my cousin’s house in Santa Cruz.  We stopped at Morro Bay for some salt water taffy.  My cousin and I were horrified as my grandma drove the wrong way on a big street.  She had gotten turned around and wasn’t too worried about it.  It seemed we had a lot of room and she had the whole thing handled.  My cousin and I ducked under the windows in horror of being seen with the crazy lady who just waved at everyone as they passed her honking.  When I got old enough I was the designated driver after that!

My sister, her husband, Grandma, my nephew, me, and my mom.

My sister, her husband, Grandma, my nephew, me, and my mom.

My Grandma’s house always had a container of M&Ms.  I’d take a handful and then eat them like you are supposed to.  Separating them all out by color and then eating them in a rainbow pattern (orange, yellow, green, light brown, dark brown — there was no red during these years and blue hadn’t arrived yet) until each color ran out.  She collected bells and they lived in a big glass case off the kitchen.  Each of us grandkids had our favorite.  Mine was the turtle.  They were numbered and cataloged but we were still allowed to take out the ones we liked and play with them.  When my Grandma passed away we were given a bell.  I have the turtle (along with a few others) in my china cabinet.

download (6)Thinking of Grandma I wanted one of those Big Macs really bad.  It just so happened that the next day I was out late.  I had gone to a friends artsy fartsy social gathering and it had gone long.  When I got in the car and looked at the clock I was ecstatic.  It was Big Mac bogo time!!!!!  I cruised through the drive thru and ordered up.  I took about 3 bites and wrapped up the rest of my haul and put it in the refrigerator.  Those Big  Macs were my breakfast for the next 3 mornings.  Cold … everything like that is better eaten cold.  Unlike my grandma I wasn’t going to finish one in a sitting.  I made that deal last!  In case you were wondering it was pretty good.  Grandma always knew best!

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Mind Your Manners

28 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by wendynewell in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

dinner, food, invitation, manners, Riggins, wine

ry=400Recently I noticed on Pinterest a pin that informed you of the proper way to address wedding invitations.  I don’t plan to send out that type of correspondence anytime soon but I do send letters through the mail at least once a year.  It wouldn’t hurt for me to brush up on my mail etiquette.  Turns out that stuff is crazy!  No wonder it’s a popular pin there is no way to remember all those insane rules.  There were a couple of surprises to me, good and bad.  Good – If the woman of a couple has a doctorate while her husband does not her name comes first.  For example, Dr. Wendy Newell and Mr. Riggins Newell.  That makes perfect sense but I was surprised that it was actually a valid rule.  Bad – If children are invited their names shouldn’t be on the front envelope but should be included in the inside envelope (Or maybe it was the invite itself.  I’ve already forgotten.).  If the child is a male then his title is Master.  As in, “Master Riggins Newell.”  What the hell?  Master?  Seriously?  Am I the only one that feels uncomfortable with this rule?

It made me start thinking of the other manners I follow that are no longer popular or even known.  I wanted to share them with you.

  • Don’t Slurp Your Soup – Slurping shouldn’t really be an issue unless you dine with neanderthals.  Still there is a proper way to eat soup.  “As little ships go out to sea / I dip my spoon AWAY from me” (I didn’t actually know this little rhyme before my in-depth research for this post.  When I say in-depth I mean use of Google and assumption that when discussing manners on the internet majority rules.).  This means scoop the soup with your spoon away from you.  I do try to do this whenever I eat soup but honestly sometimes only have the energy to pull it off when with company.  Additionally, soup at my home is often served in a Tinkerbell mug making a spoon and any rules about it, no longer necessary. 
  • Gift Me Or Else – This rule is one where when it isn’t observed I wince a little on the inside but can’t really hold it against the culprit.  She probably has no idea it is bad manners and is just trying to make your life easier.  Good intentions do not equal good manners.  When sending invitations for an event, wedding, baby shower, bridal shower, etc. it is considered bad manners to list where the guest of honor is registered.  Don’t try to out wit this rule by placing this tidbit of information on an insert.  That insert is still inside the invite so still counts.  Technically it looks like the guest of honor is not only expecting a gift but have mandated where it should come from and what it is.  When put this way you can see how it would be considered uncouth.  Right?  Instead the guest of honor should have told host, close girlfriend (maid of honor for example) and family (mother for example) where she is registered.  Then it is up to the guest to ask for this information if it is wanted.  On the flip side if the invite asks for no gifts it is considered rude to bring one.  Can’t win can you?  Giving a gift at a social gathering when you were specifically told not to only causes the other guests to be uncomfortable, wondering if they should have done the same, but also the host who is looking out for the happiness of all her guests.  If you would still like to give your friend a gift it is fine it just needs to be done at a different time and place.  Just think of it this way, you get to give a gift, your friend gets a gift, plus you now get to spend more one on one time with the friend you love!
  • Stop Ruining Good Wine-ing.  Wine glasses come in all shape and sizes but one hour of television where the characters are drinking it proves that not many know how to hold their wine glasses correctly.  Wine glasses should be held by the stem so that your body heat doesn’t warm the liquid and therefore change the taste of the wine.  Although most important when drinking wine served chilled, like white and champagne, this is actually true for all types and colors.  It seems a little ackward at first but you look so much fancier getting drunk this way!  Here’s the rub if you come to my house.  I use stemless wine glasses.  It’s almost like I’m mocking my guests isn’t it?  While we are on the subject of wine can I point out that there is a very small chance you should ever send back a bottle that you have ordered.  You should only send it back if the wine has turned which should be painfully obvious to your nose once you get anywhere near the cork.  Those folks that swish the wine around and make a production out of tasting it then nodding their head in appreciation are weirdo snobs.  Smell the cork.  If it doesn’t smell like death you are good to go. 
  • I’m Done.  Turns out I’ve been doing this one all wrong.  When finished with my meal at a restaurant I have always signaled to the waiter that I’m ready for him to clear my plate by putting my folk and knife down on my plate in an X.  It usually worked so I was shocked to discover, during my in-depth research, that most people would consider this impolite.  Apparently I’m a barbarian.  Instead the more common suggestion is to lay the fork and knife side by side across the plate at 10 and 4 o’clock.  Tines facing up or down is still very much up for debate.  I think from now on when I’m finished with my meal I’ll dramatically throw knife and fork to the ground, raise my arms in an Evita pose, and yell, “I’ve finished.  Take all this away now my minions.”  That should be pretty clear.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending how you look at it, hard-core written in stonephoto (7) manners have been fading away.  You can take everything I’ve said above and find at least one person who says the opposite online.  The internet gods will let anyone post on the world-wide web without checking their facts.  So it’s your turn.  What do others do that make you silently cringe inside knowing that they were obviously raised by wolves?  Personally I can use all the help I can get.  After all at my house feeding Riggins from your folk isn’t considered bad manners it’s considered good sharing!

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