Tag Archives: dogs

The Great Escape

25 Friday Oct 2013

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I apologize for being MIA this week.  I’ve been recouping from the MOST STRESSFUL WEEKEND OF ALL TIME.  Let me tell you all about it …

Miles

Miles

This past weekend I had 3 dogs plus Riggins.  Chief an adorable and loving chocolate lab, Lulu a one year old energetic ball of crazy, and Miles the two-year old lab/golden mix aka “the runner.”  Friday night was like a battle ground.  Riggins and I were curled up in the bed in combat “hit the deck” positions trying to snooze while Miles and Lulu ran around wrestling each other ALL NIGHT LONG.  Saturday morning Chief showed up and we meet Giovanna, her husband and poodle Morgan at Runyon Canyon.  Everyone was pretty pooped out by the time we got home.  I had just enough time to shower and get dressed up for a fabulous music/comedy festival with my friend Dee Dee and her husband Jason.  The afternoon/evening was spent drinking Honey Badger shots (delicious) and listening to the genius of the friends of Tenacious D.  I tell you all this back story so you can understand that by this point of my day I was too pooped to pop!  Upon coming home I opened the back door and like a bullet from a cannon Miles was gone.  When I say gone I mean GONE.  Out the door, down the street, out of sight … GONE.

Dee Dee and I ran down the street like crazy people and she spotted him on a side street.  I came frantically running to get him (mistake I know) and he zoomed right past me and, once again, out of sight.  We did not see that little dude again for about 19 hours.

I ran.  I ran and ran and ran.  AND RAN.  Up and down the side streets of my neighborhood calling Miles name and suggesting we go get some food, dinner, snacks, treats, and any other food related word I could think of to make him pop his little head out again.  Dee Dee jumped in her car and started cruising the hood.  At one point she passed me and I yelled, “call Giovanna.”  Minutes later Giovanna and her husband Jack joined the search.  I was seconds … SECONDS … from loosing my shit.  I actually think I spent the next 24 hours in a state of shock.  How could this happen?????  How??????  I was mortified, terrified, and all other ifieds you can think of.

At one point I went back to my car and started cruising too.  At this time I knew I had to move forward with turning myself into the bad doggie watcher police.  I’m not one to shy away from taking blame and fessing up and it was time to do just that.  I called the DogVacay people who put me in touch with Natalie the Sane (I call her that because whenever I read a message from her or she talked to me she was the voice of sanity and reason).  Natalie’s title is “Trust and Safety Specialists.”  Can you imagine how stressful that job must be?  I have not been shy in saying I love DogVacay and would be happy to work for them beyond just being a host, but there is NOT ENOUGH MONEY ON THIS PLANET to do Natalie’s job.  I sent pictures of Miles to her for a flyer and brought Miles bed, blanket, and stuffed rabbit toy outside per her instructions.  I then covered the entire area with chicken.  Something Chief was happy of every time he walked by.  That damn bunny friggin’ mocked me for 24 hours.  Every single time I came home to grab more flyers or go to the restroom or check on the other dogs I would plead with the universe to have Miles sitting there cuddling with his bunny.  Nope.  Never happened.  That bunny just sat there perched on his fluffy dog bed staring at me.

Natalie the Sane emailed me over a “Lost Dog” flyer which I started printing.  I printed 40 at a time and anytime I came home clicked on “print” and picked up the ones that were ready.  I estimate that my friends and I hung about 160 signs and handed out about 20.  Aaaaaahhhh!  It was all so unnerving.

I had to get a hold of Miles mom.  Unfortunately she was out of the US and did not have cell coverage.  This meant not only could I not call her anyone that got a hold of Miles and read his doggie tags couldn’t call her!  Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!  I sent her a message via Viber (app that allows you to text and send pics to folks all over the world at no cost) and held my breath.  I couldn’t even imagine what I would have done if I had received that message.  Probably forced the poor soul with me to cash out on all his assets so we could afford to fly back to LA STAT!

Eventually my poor friends had to go home and to bed.  Jason was starting a new job on Monday and needed to prepare.  Giovanna was running 20 miles at 5 am the next day to get ready for her upcoming marathon.  Jack was falling asleep at the wheel.  That left me and the dogs to continue the search party.  I swapped out Lulu and Chief and walked the streets.  Around 3 AM Chief and I saw cops trying to settle down an agitated hooker eating her ice cream cone across from the local McDonalds.  I saw two cars in full “bust” mode with driver on the sidewalk and cops going through their vehicles.  Everything was pretty shut down about that time except for Jack in the Box.  I have a real problem with their new stoner commercials but they sure do know their customer base!

Around 3:30 AM I emailed Natalie and Miles Mom to tell them I had to go lie down.  I don’t know why I even tried.  I constantly thought I heard something in the backyard and just wanted it to be Miles so bad.  I may have slept for about 1/2 hour.   Giovanna texted me about 4:30 and asked how I was and my answer was “terrible.”  She cancelled her run and came back over to search with me.

The Search Party (the human participants). Jack, Giovanna, Martha & Dee Dee

The Search Party (the human participants). Jack, Giovanna, Martha & Dee Dee

And that is what we did … searched.  We walked up and down and up and down for miles then we got in the car and drove for miles.  Then we walked some more.  Her husband came to help.  My friend Dee Dee came back (she does not live close) and helped.  My friend, Martha, came over straight from the Getty where she had taken her art students earlier that day.  Even Asscher’s dad got in the car and drove around looking while Asschers mom kept checking the Pasadena Humane Society website for dogs that were turned in.  There was even another friend on her way to take up the night shift with me.  I can’t explain how lucky I am/was to have the support of so many great people.  I joke a lot that I hate people and love dogs.  These folks are definitely the exception to that rule!  I LOVE THEM!  They stepped up and every single one forfeited their time, energy and something important they had to do just so they could be there for me.

Dee Dee was the worker bee.  She would get it done come hell or high water.  Signs hung, signs walked into businesses, anything I asked she was on it in a heartbeat.  Her presence also stopped me from being arrested.  At one point we were in the car together and we pulled up beside a cop car.  She handed him a flyer and asked him to keep his eyes open.  The policeman was a douche.  He didn’t want to help at all and his only response (beyond telling us to go to the Pasadena Humane Society — yah yah genius we got that) was that the picture on the flyer was distorted.  I wanted to tell him if he wanted to see distortion I could ball up the flyer and shove it up his ass.  Luckily Dee Dee was there, more in control than me, and instead of going off in handcuffs we just drove away.  That guy is an asshat.  He was probably unhappy he didn’t have the night, ice cream hooker eating shift.

Jack was the lieutenant grinding away behind the wheel for miles further than I dared even think to drive.

Giovanna was my go to gal.  Giovanna let’s put signs in front of the church because people will be going there in a few hours.  Giovanna let’s put signs in front of McDonald’s because people will be going there in a few hours.  Giovanna let’s put signs by the parks because people will be going there in a few hours.  Giovanna let’s put 5 more signs on that pole that already has 3 just to be safe.  Whatever I said her answer was, “LET’S DO IT.”  She never once told me I was insane.  Which I, obviously, was.

Martha was my voice of reason and stabilizer.   Martha is a very good friend of mine and lives in Philadelphia.  She just happened to be here for this huge crisis and I am so thankful she was.  I had a one track mind … FIND MILES … FIND MILES … FIND MILES.  Everyone tried to stop me to take care of myself and all I could think was FIND MILES.  I refused to come home when they asked me to and refused to think clearly when they asked me to until Martha showed up.  Martha’s voice could cut through my crazy.  Not totally.  But a little bit!  Enough to stabilize me.

At one point the sun was just starting to go down Giovanna, Dee Dee, and I were driving around putting up signs.  At that point I was told that I wasn’t allowed to drive and we were all getting beyond pooped.  It was the first time we were all together in one car and then Dee Dee said, “there he …” AND WE ALL SAW HIM.  Lightening.  Running like a crazy dog.  Giovanna and I jumped out of the car and tried to calmly call him until we couldn’t see him anymore (which took about 5 seconds) and then he was gone again.

It was on now!!!  There was NO WAY I was stopping this search.  We had been amazed that in the HOURS of searching we constantly crossed over each other but none of us had even seen the dog.  Now we had seen him.  We just needed him to stop running so we could coax him home.

Sweet as sugar and as fast as a bullet!

Sweet as sugar and as fast as a bullet!

During this search Miles mom’s friend had been looking as well.  I alerted everyone, Natalie, Miles Mom, Asscher’s Mom, etc that we had seen him.  We all then focused on that one area.  I walked around in circles dropping piles of food in the hopes of keeping him close.  I’m sure the neighborhood skunks enjoyed that later in the night.  Circles walked and walked and walked by all of us.  Then I got a text from Miles friend “I found him.”  At the time Dee Dee and I was heading back to my car to charge up my phone and had just waved to Martha so we were all there.  I started to type back but then looked up and THERE HE WAS … ON LEASH!!!!!!!!!  I almost fell to my knees.  I’d say I was happy but I think I was just deep in shock.  The friends dog, Lola had found Miles.  They are friends and Miles was happy to come talk to her!  I scooped him up, controlled myself from kissing the poor friend and her dog, and ran him to the nearest emergency vet.

20+ hour of running had taken their toll on Miles paws.  All four were blistered and in bad shape.  The vet was wonderful and held him for a few hours to fix him up.  I picked him up at 1:30 AM Sunday night/Monday morning and brought him home.  His front paws were wrapped for a day and then I took the bandages off to heal.  He is still walking a little funny but all in all is back to normal.  He is his happy, loving, wiggle butt self again.

Miles isn’t allowed on the bed or sofa.  I made him sleep by me for the rest of the night on Sunday, cuddle on the sofa during the day Monday and nap on the bed with me.  I wasn’t allowing that little guy out of my sight!  I totally ignored the no bed/sofa rule!

I really can’t explain how horrible that entire event was.  To have a dog lost is heart wrenching to be in charge of someone else’s dog and have him go missing is unthinkable.  I can’t even imagine if he was a human child that I was watching.  Although I have yet to see a toddler who could outrun me let alone a locomotive like darling Miles can.  I’m so happy he is safe and I love him to pieces.  That being said I’ll be happy to hand him over to his mom tomorrow!  He stressed me out!

A couple of notes on this whole ordeal:

As usual DogVacay is amazing.  I am so happy they are always so helpful and thoughtful when I need them.

Signs work.  I had my doubts but we only knew the general area Miles was in because of the 3 calls we got.  2 of the folks said they saw a black dog running 100 miles an hour down the street with a smile on his face …. .THAT’S MILES!

If Miles would have lived here I have a feeling putting his bed and food outside could have worked.  It is something I would not have thought of.

If this happens to you I hope you have a group of brilliant and supportive friends like I do to help you!

All my guest dogs now have another tag with my name and number on it.

I called Miles vet (old and new), where he was adopted from (their info is on his chip) and Miles mom reported him as missing on a dog site whose web address Miles has on a tag on his collar.  Natalie called every vet/shelter in the area and faxed over our “lost dog” flyer.  Although these things didn’t actually help get Miles home they didn’t hurt.  I actually got calls from Miles vet and adoption agency checking on him.

 

 

 

I Like Ike!

15 Tuesday Oct 2013

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photo 1 (2)When I traveled to India one of the things that I found interesting were the street dogs.  I mistakenly called them wild dogs once and was quickly corrected.  I spent hours on the internet reading about the dogs and what is being done to help stop overpopulation.  Since I had opted out of getting a rabies shot prior to my trip (and because I’m not totally insane) I didn’t come face to face with any of the dogs although all I wanted to do was sit down in a pack and cuddle each and every one.  Since then I’ve had a special place in my heart for those street dogs.

When Ike’s folks brought him to come visit me I hadn’t done any research on his breed.  It wasn’t until after I met the energetic love bug that I headed to the computer to check out what exactly a “Potcake” was.

A Potcake is a mixed breed dog that resides in the Turks and Caicos Islands and the Bahamas.  They are named after the food fed to stray dogs by the locals, the “cake” mixture found at the bottom of the rice/pea pots.  Exactly what kind of dog is included in the mix depends on where the dog is from but most are short-haired, can be between 25-60 pounds, and a long face.  Brown is the most typical color although their coats can also include a mixture of black, white, red, cream and yellow.  Technically mutts-mixed breeds (my favorite kind of breed) the Potcake is a recognized breed on it’s own by the Bahamas Kennel Club.

On the street Potcakes only live about 7 years and are only about 25 pounds.  Domesticated in a happy home their lifespan is similar to other dogs of their size (approx 13 years) and are a healthier weight.

photo 3Ike is the only Potcake I’ve ever watched but if he is the norm for the breed I’m sold!  Ike is a wonderful dog.  Very energetic so needs exercise but is really smart and very loyal and loving.  Ike did not like it when single men ran by us on the trail.  If they got too close he told them so.  Ike spent all his free time near me and, preferably, on my lap cuddling.  When hiking or at the dog park he always stopped to check in with me, make sure I was close, and that I was alright.  He got along wonderfully with all other dogs no matter age and energy level.  He could easily go nose to nose with Bear who is a vocal and rough playmate.  He was also just as happy sleeping while spooning Riggins (as long as Riggins would allow such silliness).  Although protective of me he never scolded or barked at my other dogs (like Dragon does).  He was part of the pack not the leader and looked to me to fill that role.

photo 2If you are looking to get a dog I always suggest rescue.  If you are looking to adopt, much like human children, I believe there are plenty of loving babies (dogs and humans) close to home that need you.  BUT if you want to reach out to adopt a dog then a Potcake is something to definitely look in to.  From my very minimal research it looks like the loyalty, intelligence, and love Ike showed is typical.  It is like they know you saved them from living on the streets and they are thankful for all you do for them.  They do need someone who can be a pack leader and who is willing to keep them active so definitely keep that in mind.  If you are looking for a mild-mannered lap dog who sleeps all day a Potcake isn’t for you!

Ike’s mom works with BAARK – Bahamas Alliance for Animal Rights and Kindness.  They have a spray and neuter program for the street dogs of the Bahamas and also help rescue dogs and find them homes.  Ike’s mom told me that there are a number of these type of organizations that will help adopt Potcakes to loving families in Canada and the US.  Keep BARRK and Ike in mind when you are thinking of what kind of pooch you would like to make part of your family!

10 Minute Table Runner – Hot Tips

14 Monday Oct 2013

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photo (20)I wrote about the 10 minute table runners before.  In fact before sitting down at the sewing machine this weekend I re-read the blog post to make sure I remembered what I was doing!  The 10 minute table runner really is an easy and fun thing to make.  You can find the how-to here.  After making four of these I feel like I’ve become an expert and can share some important tips with you.

  • Fabric choice is key.  Avoid anything with straight lines or straight patterns.  Why make it harder on yourself.  Random patterns mean you don’t have to worry as much that you cut and sew at a perfect angle!
  • The brighter the better.  Bright colors will distract viewers from looking too close at your sew line and any holes from sew lines that didn’t make it and had to be ripped out with a seam ripper.
  • Have your mom cut your fabric for you with her quilting equipment.  Cutting something so it is perfect is a pain in the butt.  I suggest you don’t do it if you don’t have to.
  • 10 minutes is a big fat lie.  I’d say closer to 30 minutes and that doesn’t count getting the sewing machine out, threading the machine, getting the fabric cut correctly, etc.
  • Pins and the iron are your friend.  This is definitely a project where prep helps you out in the long run.
  • You’ll notice the instructions suggest use of a button while the one I made this weekend has tassels (made by my talented mother as if we were full Amish and don’t buy into silly store-bought niceties).  The button can cover up mistakes with lining up the two sides of your runner while the tassels are easier to sew on (just stick them in, tassel side inward, and sew at the same time you are sewing the sides together).  Pick your poison.
  • photo (19)Cursing usually helps any and all negative sewing situations you may find yourself in.
  • Longer stitches are easier to take out if you make a mistake.  It isn’t like you are sewing the crotch of some pants that need to be sturdy.  It’s a table runner.  It just has to sit on a table and look pretty.
  • It doesn’t matter how long you take trying to make the sides of the runner perfectly even.  They never will be.  Don’t sweat too much over it.  This is the step which usually takes me the longest and I have yet to get those stupid sides as perfect as I want them.

With these hot tips the 10 Minute Table Runner is pretty fun to make.  What are you waiting for?  Head on down to the fabric store and pick out some fancy material!

(Note – My mom found and purchased this fancy fabric for me.  Isn’t it brilliant?!?)

Stuff I Made

07 Monday Oct 2013

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I can’t really consider this post a “how-to” since I’m not telling you how to make these crafts.  It’s more of an announcement:

LOOK AT THE COOL THINGS I MADE FRIDAY.

photo 1 (4)More Animal Wine Glasses – First of all we have to have a moment of silence for my Asscher wine glass (honoring my golden retriever daycare baby) that I made for myself.  I used that one the most so, of course, it was the first to be broken.  Boo!  Now that we have taken the appropriate amount of time to mourn that loss to my wine cabinet … One of my good friends, Michelle, had her birthday celebration this weekend.  Luckily for me it was at a winery so I could easily them my gift around that.  Recently Missy had to say goodbye to her photo 2 (5)adorable pug mix, Buddy.  He had a wonderful long and loving life with her.  It didn’t take long for Missy to realize that her cat, Romeo, needed another dog playmate (as did she).  She adopted a long-haired dachshund mix from the newly opened NKLA (No Kill LA).  I decided to decorate her glasses in honor of her current and former pets who have given (and give) her so much joy.  I have written a “how-to” on this already so check it out – here.

photo 3 (3)Doggie T-Shirts – In other dog news my sister and her family got a new puppy!  There were down this weekend to pick him up.  He is an 8 week old weimaraner named Captain Shadow.  My young nephew loves pirates with all his heart (I suggested to get him over that phase we take him to see Captain Phillips but no one else seems on board with that idea) that’s where the “Captain” comes from.  I’m not sure were “Shadow” comes from.  Maybe because he is silver … you will have to ask my sister.  I decided my niece and nephew needed a t-shirt that featured their new puppy!  I hadphoto 4 (3) some left over printable t-shirt transfer paper from a project I did 10 years ago.  I’m sure the age may make the t-shirt design less durable but I had it in my drawer so I used it!  Between clearance and the new Cartwheel app I was able to get grey t-shirts for $3 each at Target.  Woo hoo!  I figured it wouldn’t take me long to whip up a design.  I was wrong.  I decided the dog needed a pirate hat on him I don’t really have great picture manipulating software so it took me a bit to figure out how to do that on paint.  Longer than I care to admit.  Then I had to remember how to flip all the images (you have to do that when you transfer onto light colors).  The entire process took longer than I expected but I finally finished!  I’d explain how exactly I did it but, to be honest, I forgot.  Sorry!

Happy crafting!

Please Send Soap

20 Friday Sep 2013

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image (22)I really wish this was a smell-o-vision blog post.  I really need you to fully understand how badly I stink (or stank, to be more specific).  Last night after Bar Method class (where I sweat like it’s my job) I came home and did some chores.  Finally I drug myself into the shower only to find I was out of body wash.  Kind of a relief really.  I had taken a shower earlier in the day and how clean can a person be?  I did a quick rinse and got ready for bed.  This morning I woke up and put on my hiking gear and headed up Runyon with the dogs.  Looking back I realize I missed the step where you put on deodorant.  When Dragon showed up he immediately peed on me.  I guess he owns me now.  I changed my hiking pants but really just toweled off the pee.  I was going to Runyon where the entire hill smells like dog pee.  I’d fit right in.  After a long and sweaty hike, which included me getting down on my knees in dirt and filth to get pictures of the puppers I headed back to the car.  Instead of immediately heading home to take a shower I went downtown to the Paws/LA headquarters to drop off some donated art for their fundraiser.  When I was finally heading back home it hit me.  I smelled.  Not good.  I smelled BAD.  It was somewhat amazing.  I’m shocked the dogs would even come near me.  Once home I ran in and took a shower using shampoo as body wash.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  I rarely use perfume and never do if I’m just at home alone, but I felt it necessary to spray a mist of vanilla scent on before getting dressed again.  Whooo weeeee.  Smeeeellly.

Since I can’t take pictures of my smell and technology has yet to allow me to send a horrific scent to you via blog post you will have to settle of adorable pictures of the dogs from this week.  Enjoy!  Pictured:  Riggins (you know him), Asscher (golden retriever), Morgan (poodle), and Dragon (schnauzer)

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Dogs Rule

17 Tuesday Sep 2013

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RIGGINS - photo by Lori Fusaro

RIGGINS – photo by Lori Fusaro

Over the past few days I’ve come to accept something you may have already known. I’m a speciest. That’s like a racist or sexist but for species. Specifically I like dogs WAY better than people and hold them to much different standards. It’s kinda like when one of your “friends” posts something on Facebook and you think, “OMG what a looser … so annoying.” Then another friend posts something similar a few minutes later and you happily give it a “thumbs up” simply because of who they are. Let me give you a few dog vs. human examples:

Jax, like many dogs I watch, follows me around the house. If I move, he moves. I love it. I feel like Snow White being helped by her adoring animal friends. If a guy I was dating did that I’d last about 10 minutes before doing a pivot turn meeting him nose to nose and scream “stop being so clingy you freak!”

ASSCHER

ASSCHER

Riggins has very specific sleeping rules. He tends to fall asleep by himself and then wanting to come up and be with me on my bed in the early morning hours. Instead of just coming on up and helping himself to a pillow he stands by my bed puts his head and chin on the mattress and cries until I wake up. I then must get out of bed for him to be able to jump up and decide on his placement before I get to lie back down again. I do this all with nothing but love in my heart for him. I once wanted to punch my boyfriend in the face because he would set the alarm and then hit snooze about 5 times before getting up … all before I had to rise and shine.

I was driving home from a hike a few weeks ago and saw a man masturbating on someone’s front lawn. A very nice front lawn to a very expensive house. I was in awe. How could that be happening? A human couldn’t possibly be so disgusting. Yet there he was, humping the ground. I was horrified. The other day I wanted to take Asscher’s picture when she got that look at her eye and I couldn’t stop her from jumping up on me and humping away at my leg. I just giggled and pushed her off with an, “Oh Asscher … you are so silly.”

Asscher sometimes doesn’t want to hike. Just yesterday we were heading off just a few feet from the trail head and she stopped. She wasn’t moving. “Okay,” I said gleefully, “we will go to the dog park. Crazy dog! I love you!” If I went hiking with my nephew and he stopped hiking and sat down pouting he’d get a stern talking to and be dragged the rest of the way until he shaped up.

KONA!

KONA!

One night my neighbors little dog was howling and howling. I felt so bad for the poor little thing. Obviously his owner was being horrible neglective of his needs. I didn’t even think to get angry at the dog. It was all the owners fault … without a doubt. (This love for animals didn’t include the rooster this same neighbor once owned. Every morning, multiple times each morning, I’d threaten to kill it and eat that obnoxious bird for breakfast.)

When Lousy wants to crawl up on my lap while I’m typing or Dragon wants to chill out under my desk I’m happy to let them. If a child did that I’d suggest they were being creepy and tell them to go outside and play like normal children.

Kona loved to give me kisses and will happily lick me all over. If you came over and did that too me I’d slap you and immediately take a Silkwood shower to wash off your crazy.

LOUSY

LOUSY

When I’m eating Riggins will sit next to me and take bites off my fork that I happily hold for him (since he has no hands). I would NEVER feed you off my folk. First of all that’s weird and secondly I don’t want your spit on my folk.

So you see. The obvious conclusion is I dislike humans as a species. At least when compared to dogs. (Not all humans of course there are a few exceptions to the rule. A very few exceptions.)

DOGS RULE …. HUMANS DROOL (well dogs do too but when they do it it’s super cute)

Screw You Ralphs

16 Monday Sep 2013

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This incident happened last Friday and I’m still angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

My adorable nephew enjoying his Oreo balls (shaped as lego heads on a stick --- a sort of fail on my part that I may one day tell you about).

My adorable nephew enjoying his Oreo balls (shaped as Lego heads on a stick — a sort of fail on my part that I may one day tell you about).

It all started off innocently enough.  The day before I had purchased the ingredients to make my nephew birthday Oreo balls.  A delicious and sugar coma inducing treat!  Friday, when I was ready to get everything started, I realized I had left the cream cheese out all night and most of the day.  For a split second I thought I’d go ahead and use it but then decided it would be really bad if, for his birthday, I gave my nephew food poising.  It was no problem.  I had a cake in the oven that had about 25 more minutes to go before having to come out so I jumped in my car and drove down to my “friendly” neighborhood Ralphs (located in Glendale, CA on Colorado Blvd.).

I’m lucky enough to have a grocery store just down the street.  I’ve been shopping there for 7 years.  I’ve had issues with them before but, after talking to the manager, they have always been resolved and there are a handful of really nice people who work there and are great at their jobs.  Recently they rearranged everything which threw me for a loop but I have been able to re-acclimated and can, once again, tell you where everything that I need is.  It would take me 2 minutes to park, run in, grab the block of cream cheese, self check-out and be on my way.

One huge issue with this particular Ralphs is the parking lot.  It is a magnet for accidents. That is what happens when you put a parking lot in the middle of a city known for their horrific drivers.  Because of this I always park in their underground lot.  It’s less convenient but a heck of a lot safer! (Sadly my car has even been dinged in this lot.  Let’s face it, in my area, there is no such thing as “safe” parking.)

Friday, after jogging up the ramp that leads from the underground parking to the store I passed by the front door and saw a little dog just laying there.  She was patiently sitting just outside the door, mere feet from the crazy killer parking lot, no leash, no collar, just waiting.  I came to a halt and looked around to see if anyone cared that a dog was chillin’ in front of the Ralphs.  No one was.  Folks just stepped around the dog to get in as if she wasn’t even there (no surprise this is the same Ralphs where a man fell down next to, in obvious pain, and only one other person besides myself stopped to help …. not the most compassionate folks around here).  I decided I’d get my cream cheese and if the dog was still there when I came back I’d do something about it.  Of course she was still there.

Sweet Molly

Sweet Molly

I went inside and found the guy dressed a little nicer than all the other folks working.  I figured he was the manager and the one to talk to.  Honestly I figured he wouldn’t know what was happening and I could persuade him to make an announcement for the shopper to come out and get the dog.  Then I could wait and make sure the dog got back to its stupid ass owner a-okay.  Shockingly when I asked if he knew about the dog and who she belonged to the useless manager said, “yes.”  Apparently the dog’s owner had been caught shoplifting and was currently upstairs.  This information was shared with me with, what I would consider, a complete lack of customer service.  The manager looked at me once, then avoided me completely.  I asked what we could do about the dog and the manager growled at me that he wasn’t done with the man upstairs.  I got angry … I got angry fast.  This horrible person was not only the least compassionate person I’ve ever encountered he was also the most horrific person for Ralphs to think should be their ambassador as their manager.  The guy is an asshat.  He treated me as if I was the thief instead of a loyal shopper who wanted to help an innocent animal.

Let’s just “pretend” for a second the manager was a selfish prick.  I suggested it wasn’t great to force his shoppers to walk around a dog before entering their store (people in my area are historically hesitant of dogs).  If the dog got hit by the maniac drivers just a few feet from where she sat, then he would have a giant mess on his hands.  Blood, dog guts, pissed off drivers, shocked shoppers.  For his sake he should have been giving this a little more thought.

Here is what should have happened:

  • Manager: I’m worried about the dog too.  What can we do?
  • Wendy:  I’m not sure but at the very least we should tie her up.
  • Manager:  Good idea.  We actually have collars and leashes on aisle 4.  I’m not really a man and therefore scared shitless of tiny little dogs, do you mind putting the collar on?
  • Wendy:  No problem at all.  In fact if you can have one of the folks you employee who are just hanging around gabbing to go get it, I’ll happily pay for the items and get the dog settled outside.
  • Manager:  Thanks for all your help.  You are a good person.

That’s not what happened.  Once I realized the manager couldn’t give a shit about what happened to the helpless dog I told him I’d take the dog home and give him my phone number.  He could have the thief call me when he was done with him and I’d be happy to bring the dog back.  This is when I was told I couldn’t steal the dog.  Blah blah blah … me yelling at the manager … blah blah blah. Me threatening to call the animal cruelty folks.  Him telling me to go ahead.  Me stalking off toward the dog.

I sat with her for a few minutes, plopped down right there in the middle of the doorway, but I had that cake in the oven that I needed to get out.  Once again I stormed the castle and told the manager to give me paper and pen so I could write out my number.  I then told him to have the thief call me AND to have his manager call me.  After a lot of back and forth the end game was that he had no manager (liar), and couldn’t give me the non-existent managers name (liar), and I was going to get in trouble for taking the dog (moronic liar).

Then I took the dog.

She was a sweetie and was happy to sit in my bathroom and have some water and treats while we waited for her dad to call.  She seemed in good health but I didn’t want to have her expose Riggins and my guest dogs to anything if, by chance, she wasn’t.  In my heart I didn’t want her dad to call back.  Since I surround myself by wonderful caring people I already had folks lined up via Facebook ready to help her.  I didn’t feel like she was safe with her current owner.  Remember … no collar … no leash … sitting outside a Ralphs.  Would you leave your toddler sit cross-legged outside Ralphs?  Their sweet little eyes facing the door searching for you waiting for you to come back.  NO.  BECAUSE YOU AREN’T AN IDIOT.  Sure it is different leaving a child vs. a dog but, in my mind, not much.  Two helpless creatures … two lives at stake … two neglected babies.

While waiting to see what the next step would be I called Ralph’s corporate and made an official complaint about the moronic heartless manager.  I asked for someone to call me to discuss the incident.  No one has.

From my daily calendar today. So true. So I will pass criticism on their behalf!

From my daily calendar today. So true. So I will pass criticism on their behalf!

Eventually Molly’s (I learned that was her name) dad called me and asked me to bring her back to him.  I did.  I dropped off Molly and a bag of treats to her grateful owner.  He thanked me for caring for her and for making sure she was kept safe.  I had expected to come face to face with a bitter and unhappy homeless person and instead was faced with a middle-aged stoner being …. well … a middle-aged stoner.  I wanted to stomp back in and scream at the manager, “He wasn’t angry you dipshit!” but I had better things to dedicate my time to at that moment.

I refuse to shop at Ralphs ever again.  It’s a pity.  I needed to go to the grocery store last night but couldn’t think of where I should go.  Today I’ll have to search out my new store that I will be frequenting.

I couldn’t go all “Hulk” on the manager at the time since I still needed to get the dog to safety and didn’t want to jeopardize making that happen.  Getting stuck in a room upstairs with the thief wasn’t going to help anyone and then my cake would definitely get burned.  After having a weekend to think about it here is what I’d like to say:

To the manager – How dare you.  You heartless asshat.  First of all the fact that you think it is okay to leave a helpless dog outside your store is unthinkable.  Treating me like I was the thief as you stood up for the rights of a person who obviously not only neglected his duties as a dog owner but also STOLE FROM YOU just makes you dumb.

To the community – Come on guys.  We are better than this.  When you see something wrong like a man falling down or a dog hanging out in front of a store, then do something about it.

To Ralphs – What a disappointment.  Not only did you allow a promotion of a person who tarnishes your brand but you haven’t put in place an adequate customer response and complaint system.  You are a major brand.  How are you getting away with that?

To the Thief – Come on dude.  Get your shit together.  Leave your dog at home when you are going “shopping” and for heaven sake DON’T SHOPLIFT.

I’d be happy if you boycott Ralphs (Kroger store family) with me.  There is no excuse for unapologetically, allowing such lack of compassion to exist within their family.

I Get Knocked Down …

10 Tuesday Sep 2013

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You guys … I’m a clutz.  It’s pretty shocking that I (knock on wood) haven’t caused myself serious injury.  Although I did give myself a concussion that one time.  That was pretty bad.  Other than that none of my bumps and falls have caused me to have to go to the emergency room.  I think I just go “rag doll” when I start to lose my balance and just drop.  That must save me from getting really hurt.  I’m in no way a hero.   I don’t teeter around and eventually stand back up right with a heavy sigh.  Nope.  I falter and DROP.  Sometimes for no reason at all.

image (12)Yesterday while hiking with the dogs I had them both off leash as we crisscrossed over a stream (pretty dried up stream due to the hell like weather we have been having).  It takes everything I’ve got to stay upright jumping from rock to rock.  Hanging on to dog leashes makes it nearly impossible.  Plus it is safer for both the dogs and me to just take care of ourselves.  Because they are off leash I try to be very conscious of the other hikers as some, gasp, are afraid of dogs.  Heading back from our hike to the waterfall I saw a guy coming toward us.  At first he seemed cool and Asscher (golden retriever) bounced right by him.  Then the dude saw Riggins and FROZE.  People are often afraid of Riggins.  It’s understandable.  He is scary black with big teeth.  His face has actually gotten more angular with age so his head almost has a Doberman look to him when his ears are sticking up.  Add the fact that part of one of his ears has been bitten off and you have got a mean looking dog on your hands.  Now you and I know Riggins is a lover not a fighter but if you don’t know that I can see how you would be hesitant.  To make matters worse Riggins is VERY sensitive to others around him so if you are afraid, he is afraid, and that makes him growl, and that makes him scarier!  I grabbed Riggins and was pushing him to my side so I could hold him away from the guy as he passed us.  I was about to say I had him and the guy was fine to pass when I went down mid-sentence.  I had been standing on a rock and just lost my footing.  I fell full butt on the rock I was standing on and then slid down to the ground.  It wasn’t a big rock but big enough for a little slide to make my fall even more dramatic.  The poor hiker had to get over his Riggins fear to run over and help me up.  I thought that was pretty nice of him.  I’ve fallen in my neighborhood with Riggins at my side and everyone just stared at me.

If you are counting, and why wouldn’t you be, that is the second time in less than a week that I’ve fallen down and someone had to come to my rescue.  Sigh.

photo (9)I have a real nice bruise on my butt.  I wanted to show you a picture but honestly it doesn’t look bad enough.  Considering the pain I’m in my entire right cheek should be black and blue.  I did text the pic to a few people to get sympathy, so if you got the butt pic consider yourself a good friend!  I had to tell my Bar Method teacher I bruised my bum before class today so she would understand if I did some modifications to the moves.  Embarrassing!

My left butt cheek is permanently misshapen due to a fall during a hike years ago.  It is oddly pointy.  People say that isn’t true but to those people I suggest they aren’t looking closely enough at my butt.  I was kinda hoping this fall would smush it back into place.  No such luck.  Maybe next time.  And we all know there will be a next time!

(Since I’m not sharing a butt picture I’m posting cutie pictures of Riggins and Asscher over our last two days of adventures.)

Poop Happens

04 Wednesday Sep 2013

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image (7)I think all my shoes have poop on them.  I’m not complaining.  I’m just passing on this observation I had yesterday while getting ready to go to Bar Method class.

If you doggie sit you pick up a lot of poop.  More than you would expect.

I had an ex-boyfriend who stepped in dog poop and was such a whiny weirdo about it he tossed his, not so inexpensive shoes, out the car door and left them by the curb.  If I was such a wimp I’d have to purchase shoes daily.

Sometimes I wish I could just poop wherever I wanted like the dogs do.  They have it so easy.

Don’t you think it is somewhat unfair that you have to pick up dog poop but horses and coyotes can carelessly poop up the trails all they want?  Coyotes should be held accountablephoto (5) for their poop.  With all it’s delicious 1/2 digested berries it is a huge distraction for dogs who are casually walking along and decide they are hungry.

I still believe it when Dr. Drew says dogs mouths are cleaner than humans.  I’ve been on paths with “delicious” coyote poop and dogs and have seen what happens.  STILL I believe him.  THAT is how much I believe in Dr. Drew.  Today is Dr. Drew’s birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Please enjoy these adorable pictures of Riggins, Morgan, Asscher, Dexter and Dragon on your special day.