24 Sunday Feb 2013
Posted in Riggins, Uncategorized
18 Monday Feb 2013
Posted in Riggins, Uncategorized
“Cleanliness sucks.” – Riggins Newell
Obviously this is Riggins speaking. I like cleanliness in fact I dare say taking a bath is one of my favorite things to do. If there was a way to make the bathtub mobile, maybe add a few wheels and a motor, I’d happily go about my life peacefully soaking in warm water with a glass of red wine at my side. Tub cruising. Alas this brilliant invention does not yet exist.
Riggins, on the other hand, is a dog. A boy dog at that. His goal is to get and then stay as disgustingly filthy as possible. His favorite dog park isn’t the nice sweet one with clean benches and ample green grass. Nooooooooo. His favorite is the gross one that’s all dirt and dog pee where you sit at your own risk. If he happens to find a stinky pile of anything that can’t be digested then he will just flop down on his back and roll around to make sure the stench gets in real deep into his fur. Suggesting a bath is Riggins idea of hell on earth.
Since I live with the kid he gets a bath once a week. This is when the dog people who read this blog inform me that washing a dog once a week is actually bad for his skin. Yah yah I hear you, but did you hear me about the rolling around in grossness? Riggins is an outside dog who wants to spend his indoor time cuddled up in my face. Believe me. You’d find a way to give him a bath weekly too. To set your minds at ease I do use a special shampoo (designed for show dogs — nothing is too good … obviously) that is actually safe to use daily. This is swapped out, every other week, with a special medicated shampoo from the vet (In case you were wondering I use Suave or anything cheaper than a giant bottle of Suave that just happens to be on sale for my hair. We can’t all be kings of the castle.) which is also safe to use as frequently as weekly.
Bath time is always after a hike, which Riggins has long since figured out. He refuses to go inside directly from a hike and will instead demand to go in the backyard as if I’d forget what I was planning on doing if he can stall long enough. I take this time to prep. The white bath mats get thrown into the hall, the towels move down to the floor and I go to the linen closet to grab a Riggins and Wendy towel and hang them up. I install the dog wash hose onto the shower head and finally strip off my shoes, socks, and any other outer garments that can be shed. Then I go get the victim. Once inside Riggins knows it’s getting real when I take of his collar. This is when he goes into survival mode. He slips into the corner of my dinning room in an attempt to blend into the darkness. Usually I just get behind him and tell him to move it and he will slowly …. very very slowly walk his way into the bathroom and into the shower. Once he gets all four legs into the stall he is resigned and gives me little to no problems. He takes his medicine until he is freed. Post Riggins wash, I strip off the last of my clothes and make myself clean as he runs up and down the hall violently shaking in the hope of flicking off the pleasant scent he has acquired.
This weekend I tapped him on his journey to the shower and he acted out just for you (Please ignore any clutter or untidiness. It doesn’t make sense to pick up until after the wet Tasmanian Devil settles down a bit.). Enjoy:
15 Friday Feb 2013
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Yesterday, Feb. 14th, I took part in the event “1 Billion Rising,” (more info found in an earlier post – http://wp.me/p159Ee-9q) a global strike to refuse to accept continued violence against women. As I mentioned in my original post I don’t have much personal experience to bring to the table but I think it is an extremely important issue and one that deserves all of our support. 1 billion women (1 in 3) hurt by violence is simply unacceptable. I’ll give you a quick walk through of my day then leave you with a video from the founders of One Billion Rising.
Sadly Riggins didn’t join me in protest. First of all, he refused to learn the dance to Break the Chain (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WufjSyE_rK8), which was just lazy on his part. Secondly, he doesn’t like crazy and/or smelly people and I was headed to the heart of downtown Los Angeles. He was better off left at home.
Parking at Pershing Square, where the gathering was being held, was pricey so I drove up a few blocks and parked at a cheaper lot (since it is near one of my favorite bars it is also a parking lot I’m familiar with). The jaunt to the event location would not even be a question in NY but here in LA that length of a walk is simply unheard of. I wasn’t in the best area but in the middle of the day the streets of downtown are a 1:1 ration of scary and businessmen/women. I figured being a victim of violence while heading to a rally against violence was simply too on point to actually happen
The gathering I went to was one of the smaller ones in Los Angeles as women (and a few brave men) ducked out of their offices on their lunch break to lend their support. As more 
participants came together we all grabbed a cardboard heart to write why we were rising and tied it around our wrists. I REALLY wanted to write that I was doing it for the penguins (why? read – http://wp.me/p159Ee-aM) but this was serious stuff. Not the time or place for an inside joke just to make you and me giggle. I wrote, “I’m rising because love is better than hate …. always.” I ran out of room so the bottom half is unreadable. Still, it seemed more appropriate than the penguin comment.
The event organizers introduced themselves and started things off. First a very nice (I assume. I mean, I didn’t talk to her but I figure she is nice.) women in very tall heels (extra points for dancing in those) sang an original song 
she had written. Deep … moving … emotional. Then a dance troop did the Break the Chains dance for us before a quick tutorial. I was very happy I put in the time the night before and earlier in the morning to learn the dance as the tutorial was down and dirty and not much help if you weren’t already in the know. Then we all danced it together. It was FABULOUS! So much fun to just not give a flying freak what anyone thinks and dance with all your might in the middle of Los Angeles. After that they put on more music and just let the dancing continue.
Later that day I went to my Bar Method studio in Pasadena which had donated all their classes to One Billion Rising. With the complimentary class was a suggested donation to the cause. You know I love Bar Method and the fact that it was supporting such a positive message was an extra bonus.
All day it was inspiring to watch online as the videos come in from around the world of women and men rising. If you want to check them out some can be found on V-Day’s YouTube page or the event’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/OneBillionRising). I hope that our global dance party helped bring attention to the horrible issue of violence against women and sparked more discussion and solutions.
As promised — Video
*Trigger Warning* A film by @EveEnsler and Tony Stroebel.
14 Thursday Feb 2013
Posted in Riggins
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“That sign isn’t the boss of me.” – Riggins
14 Thursday Feb 2013
13 Wednesday Feb 2013
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Bear Grylls, California, Cold, icebergs, Kate Upton, NBC, Riggins, Victoria Secret
I realize this post will cause me a lot of grief from those located in less desirable weather
locations but I don’t care. IT’S COLD! I live in sunny Southern California. SUNNY being the keyword. It has been sunny during the day. I can’t deny that. You’ve seen all the pictures I’ve posted lately. Unfortunately, once that sun drops behind Griffith Park my house doubles as an iceberg. A FREEZING LIFE DESTROYING ICEBERG!
Certainly you can blame my fragile, born and raised in Los Angeles, body. Anything outside of 68-90 degrees makes me grouchy. 67 degrees is intolerable. Lately our nights have been getting down to the low 40s and even (gasp) mid 30s. WHAT THE FREAKIN’ FREAK IS THAT???? I didn’t agree to live in the Antarctic.
I put blame on our buildings. My house in particular. It isn’t built for drastic weather swings. I can spend 1 million dollars on my monthly power bill, have the heater tuned up to 95 degrees, and my house will never reach much higher than the outside temperature. All my man-made heat will just find it’s way through my walls, under the house and up past the “attic.” No insulation. If you go to Minnesota right now and go into a building you can happily take your coat off and enjoy the unnatural warmth. If you come to my house I suggest you bring a hoodie.
Sunday at dinner my good friend from WI couldn’t stop laughing at me. I was ready for a So Cal cold snap. I had my dad’s giant down jacket on (he would say I stole it while I say possession is 90% of the law) along with a super comfy infinity scarf my mom knitted for me. I had thought about long johns but decided they would be too bulky under skinny jeans. My WI friend demanded to take pictures of me bundled up to show her children how ridiculous I was. She says ridiculous and I say warm and toasty. At the same time another friend had the guts to say, “it isn’t that cold you can barely see your breath.” BARELY. I CAN BARELY SEE MY BREATH. EXCUSE ME FOR OVERREACTING. LET ME GO GET MY BIKINI ON!
Lately I’ve had to add pants to my normal pajamas (tank top and underwear). Last night I had a one woman protest against the cold and refused to put pants on so that my legs could return to their nightly freedom. It was so cold under my covers I had to curl up in a ball like Riggins. Even running in place on my side to help build up friction and heat didn’t help. I needed to get up and get pants and socks. I could feel limbs giving into frostbite but as cold as it was under those covers it was colder out of them. I couldn’t fathom making the 4 feet journey between the foot of my bed and my dresser. Finally, a light bulb went on and I realized my afghan was on top of my duvet. Exposing as little skin as possible to the raw air of my bedroom I grabbed the afghan, tucked it under all the covers and wrapped myself up in it like a burrito. The yarn made a barrier between me and my ice-cold sheets allowing me to sleep. Bear Grylls would be proud of my survival techniques.
I’m not the only woman who has had to suffer through such ridiculous weather. Did you see the recent news on Kate Upton‘s photo shoot for Victoria Secret’s swimsuit cover? Hilarious. I can’t even make it funnier by interpreting it for you. Just read it …. http://tinyurl.com/afwux4w.
“‘The penguins kept me going,’ she joked. ‘They’re adorable, and any time I was like, ‘I can’t take any more, I can’t,’ I would look at them and I was like, ‘OK, for them.’’’ – On NBC’s Today Show.
Joking? You sure about that Matt? I think she may have been really doing it for the penguins. She’s a hero people. She temporarily lost eyesight and hearing for that shot that is so generic and already so heavily photoshopped (http://tinyurl.com/buhkshx) it could have been taken in my living room right here in “sunny” California. All icebergs look the same.
12 Tuesday Feb 2013
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adam carolla, children, diego rivera, dogs, Dr. Drew, frida kahlo, friends, Riggins
Well before even reading this post you know the answer is going to be Riggins and me right? It’s not! It’s Riggins, me and about 5 other dogs in a nice house in the country. Just kidding …. kind of … not really. Okay. Let’s pretend that I don’t think it’s mentally healthy to become the crazy dog woman from nowhere. Then what would be the perfect family?
Although I’m not in a relationship myself right now I have had some experience and have been exposed to stable families in my lifetime. My mother and father are still together and live in the home I grew up in. My sister and her husband live happily with their two kids. I myself haven’t always lived alone. Out of college I had a female roommate for years and multiple apartments, and once lived with a boyfriend for years, and multiple apartments. Needless to say I do much better with just Riggins and me. The facts would lead you to believe that I’m hard to live with but I’d much prefer to say that any problems were the other persons fault. After all Riggins has no complaints.
Dr. Drew informed me, during one of his brilliant podcast episodes, that there has been studies to say that it is healthier for men and women (or men and men, woman and women, whatever you define as a couple) to sleep in different rooms. That the separation leads to a more restful night. Dr. Drew said he wasn’t really sure if he bought into it. You know what I say? No shit it leads to a more restful night! You needed to do experiments to prove this painfully obvious thesis? Sleeping with someone else is just horrible. If you sleep with someone night after night you have no idea the horror you are living. Space hogs, blanket hogs, cold feet, sweaty parts, SNORING, gag! Now I know I’m hard to sleep with. I’ll admit that. I tend to flop around a lot and even if I’m not doing that I show stress signs while I’m sleeping that can be very off-putting. One thing I do is I’ll sleep on my back with my knees up. Then as I get deeper into sleep my knees fall to one side until my body notices and I yank them back up. I can see where this could be annoying.
Adam Carolla, probably on the same podcast with Dr. Drew, will tell you the key to a happy marriage is money and real estate. To be honest I may be wrong about the money thing but I know for sure he says real estate. He’s right. Real estate is KEY!
Although I’m sure found everywhere. My source – http://caracarmina-atelier.blogspot.com/2011/01/frida-and-diego.html
In yesterday’s post I mentioned Diego Rivera. The very talented artists, Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo came up with the perfect real estate solution. They had his and her houses with a bridge connecting them. I’m sure you can say, and there is evidence to support, they didn’t really have two independent houses, ignore that. Just focus on the brilliance of two casas in one. Also ignore the fact that the coupling of Rivera and Kahlo wouldn’t really be considered the model for a healthy relationship of security and monogamy. The casa made of two casas. That’s the take away here. Please also overlook the design of their casa(s). It’s hideous.
Two houses fixes so many problems. I don’t have to be nice and try to weave his crap into my colorful and thoughtful room designs. I don’t have to tell the cleaning lady to just skip the extra room because the slob didn’t take the time to pick up before the cleaning lady came (YOU HAVE TO PICK UP BEFORE THE CLEANING LADY COMES. ASK ANY WOMAN,) so I just threw everything strewn around the house into that room. The bathroom smells better. The list goes on and on. SO MANY PROBLEMS SOLVED!
Now here is where I take it further than Frida and Diego. I would love to have children but simply don’t feel I could take on the responsibility (financially, emotionally, time-ly) alone. It would also probably be healthier for the child to have another adult influence beside the crazy sitting here typing. Here is where my brilliance comes in. I’ve always said my casa(s) will be a home for myself, and NPH (Neal Patrick Harris aka Doogie). We could live happily in our duo abodes with the bridge connection allowing us to happily raise our children together at the same time allowing us our privacy to date and live our hetro/homo sexual lives even though we don’t find each other sexual attractive. NPH is adorable, hilarious, and seems like he’d be a blast. Plus I could go to the Magic Castle whenever I wanted!
When the world found out NPH had a serious boyfriend I was crushed, for two seconds, that my dream life had died, but then I thought, “bring him along…. why not?” It takes a village.
Then the world found out that NPH and his ridiculous gorgeous significant other were having children, and my dream died. All I really brought to the party was my uterus and apparently that was no longer needed.
So now my dream home is reserved for Anderson Cooper. Could totally happen.
09 Saturday Feb 2013
Posted in Riggins, Uncategorized
I normally don’t post on the weekend but I figured you could use some fluff! Okay … that was a bold-faced lie. I know that Sangita’s (http://joshsang.wordpress.com/) children like posts about Riggins and I gotta give my readers what they want! Maybe that isn’t as much of a bold-faced lie as a little white lie. Oh well. Either way I figured you might enjoy some Sat dog fun too.
Sit back and enjoy the escapades of Riggins and Morgan (Riggins’ BFF), Kings of Runyon (a dog park that is a hike up one of the Hollywood hills).
First to the hill! As my east coast friends posted pictures of mounds of snow on Facebook the boys and I enjoyed a crisp morning hike in the Southern California sun:
Next stop was my folks house for a visit. On the freeway I turned around and found them sitting like this (yes I took a picture while driving … it was necessary to capture the moment … I’m an artist):
Here are the two little cherubs with their best innocent faces. In reality Morgan spent his time stealing and hoarding all of the squeaky balls and Riggins walked around whining for attention.
What’s a post about dogs without video? Useless I say. Let’s fix that right now!
Morgan showing off for one of his human sisters, Shelby:
Riggins early morning jealousy:
Making a run for it:
There you go! I hope you enjoyed your fluff break.
08 Friday Feb 2013
Posted in Riggins
06 Wednesday Feb 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
I strongly dislike people who don’t sweat. Probably because I’m horribly jealous of them. What bliss their lives must be to not have to worry what kind of fabric covers their arm pits while I have to constantly keep in mind that the material must look the same wet as dry. I can’t even think about wearing white. Pit stains are a bitch.
When I say I sweat a lot it isn’t an exaggeration. Really. Ask anyone. I have to use my napkin to wipe my brow if I eat salsa even a tiny bit spicy. Dancing makes my hair look like it’s soaked mid-wash. Basic life activities can cause my body to cry out of every pore. Can you imagine what I’m like exercising?
I’ve read many articles about Bar Method being a “sweat less” activity. A great thing to do on your lunch break with no need for a shower post work-out. Pisses me off. Within 15 minutes of class sweat is dripping off my nose and plopping onto the carpeted studio floor.
Running. Forget about it. Drenched.
Hiking. I’m a walking salt lick for Riggins.
Swimming. Oh how I love swimming. In the pool we are all equal. No one is starring at me thinking, “wow, that freak is going to die of dehydration.” No one can tell how much I sweat. The pool is the great sweat equalizer and that makes it beautiful!
Me Myself & Riggins 