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Protein Help

29 Thursday Aug 2013

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Thigh with the ball at a Bar Method class - source

Thigh with the ball at a Bar Method class – source

As you know I’m a fond supporter and student of Bar Method.  The absolute most horrific part of each class, the section you dread each time, is “thigh.”  I have yet to meet a single person who will tell you it isn’t the worse exercises of all time.  The goal of “thigh” is to thin down your thighs by building “long lean muscle.”  That is what you hear while sweat is dripping from your brow and you are cursing the gods in your head while you are doing it … “stay in it … you are building long lean muscle.”  At some point during your three (or four if the teacher is the devil) sets of thigh your legs will start to shake.  If you are me it is a uncontrollable, vibrating through my entire body, shake.  When this happens you will be encouraged, “good shaking!” or “way to get to your shaking zone!” or “Wendy go lower you aren’t shaking enough ….”

Let me walk you through the set up so you can see that I’m not over exaggerating.  Most “thigh” positions take place on your tippy toes.  You stand on your toes with a hand on your hip and the other hand on the barre.  Then you bend your legs and slide down to your lowest possible point.  Then for the next few minutes you go a tiny bit up and a tiny bit down fast, slow, over and over.  Sometimes you swivel your hips.  Sometimes you come down a couple counts.  I even had one teacher make us come down 10 counts once.  I wanted to punch her in the face.

I'M NOT ALONE! source

I’M NOT ALONE! source

In all the sections of Bar Method, like thigh, I tend to go through phases of it being super-duper hard or a little easier but still hard to barely bearable.  A lot of this has to do with how much I’m concentrating on my form and “giving it my all.”  Lately (as in the past 6 months) thigh has kicked my butt!  I seriously struggle with staying in every position and sometimes feel like I have to (and I do) reset and come out of the position.  It’s aggravating but I felt better when I read on a Facebook page, “Confession of a Bar Star” that others had the same problem.  A couple of people suggested eating protein before class.

First of all I can not eat before class.  I can’t even eat a few hours before class.  I usually go to the 5:15 PM class so will eat lunch at noon.  I will allow myself an apple or orange as an after lunch snack but any more than that and I spend all of Bar class feeling like I’m going to puke.  It seemed very possible to me that giving myself some fuel pre-class could help.  I decided to give protein bars a shot.

Dreaded "chair" - source

Dreaded “chair” – source

Yesterday I ate a bar an hour before class.  It really did seem to pep me up a bit!  I’m sad to say I still didn’t stay in thigh the entire time but that really isn’t my fault.  First of all it’s been 10 zillion degrees in LA this week and by the time we get to thigh in class I’m sweating so badly I look like I’ve jumped in a pool.  I’m surprised I don’t collapse into a pile of dehydrated ash.  Also we did “chair” which is the most evil of all thigh positions.  I have the best shot of staying in thigh for the entire set if it is the first position we do (which it wasn’t yesterday).  The last time this happened I literally could not stand up after.  I had to plop my bottom on the ground and then hoist myself up with the help of the barre.  Let me explain the position.  You stand facing the barre with your hands holding on wider than shoulder width.  At that point you pull back until your arms are straight.  Then you bend your knees until you look like you are sitting in an invisible chair.  Your knees should be over your ankles and your thighs should be parallel to the ground.  From there you go up a little, down a little, over and over until you die.  The only thing holding you up is your thighs (and your butt and core but mostly your thighs).  I do like one thing during this exercise and that is my arms look amazing.  I try to concentrate on that but often the overwhelming pain breaks that self admiration!

My (non pillow-y) upper thigh and Dragon during this mornings visit to the dog park.

My (non pillow-y) upper thigh and Dragon during this mornings visit to the dog park.

Even with stupid chair I do think the protein bar may be the hot ticket and I’m anxious to keep at it to see if it really does help me in conquering the dreaded thigh section of class.  I have to tell you whatever I’m doing it is working.  One thing that use to horrify me was that my upper thighs were spreading out.  You know what I mean right ladies?  That fleshy pillow-y part of your upper thigh that for some of us can get out of control.  Nightmare!  With all thigh work I do in class my thighs are all muscle!  No pillow-y part here!  Very much worth all the pain and suffering!

* Note I am in no way a nutritionist.  I dare say I’m about as far away from a nutritionist as you can get.  I chose power bars because I thought I could digest them easily enough before working out.  There is a ton of “natural” food that is high in protein that could work well.  Soy beans, lentil soup, greek yogurt (gross), cottage cheese (gross), sandwich meat, and eggs are all examples.  A quick Google search can find you others.

Birthday Crown – How-To

27 Tuesday Aug 2013

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image (8)I suspect you can take one look at the picture of the birthday crown I made for my friend Paul this weekend and think, “got it … no need to tell me how to make it … pretty self-explanatory.”  Alas that would make for a pretty boring “how-to” blog post.

Let’s start from the beginning.  My friend Leslie sent out an invite for a surprise dinner birthday party for her husband, Paul.  As a good guest I rsvp’d and put the info on my calendar.  What I failed to do is read the invite itself.  I’m pretty good at waiting until the last-minute to do that.  During my Saturday morning walk I went through my closet in my head searching for appropriate dinner attire.  I was thinking we were going to a swanky place in Hollywood so something LBD-ish would be good.  I figured out a couple of options and decided I’d wear the one that was cleanest.  Later in the afternoon I was laying on my bed heavy signing at having to squish into a pair of spanx in a few hours.  It was then I finally decided it was time to read the invite.

image (6)Turns out there was no swanky dinner in Hollywood.  This was actually a family friendly dinner at a BBQ joint/sports bar in Burbank.  I mentally stuffed my spanx back in the drawer and got to work.  The new location offered many more options not only for my limited wardrobe but also for special birthday gifts.

Since I have no money (sigh … someone find me a non-sales job … please) I decided I’d make Paul something special.  A birthday crown seemed like the obvious choice.  Looking at this specific royal head-gear you may be thinking, “what egotistical weirdo would want a picture of himself on his head all night?”  The answer is … everyone I know.  We are all pretty happy with ourselves.  To be honest it’s really a shock we don’t walk around with our favorite picture of ourselves plastered to our forehead at all times.  It’s just who we are.  Since it was Paul’s b-day I thought he had the right to actually do just that.

Here is the obvious how to part:

  • I took an appropriate patterned piece of scrap-booking paper.  Stiff-ish kind.  12 x 12 and cut it in half.
  • I didn’t have time to wait for glue and honestly I didn’t really trust it so I taped the two pieces together.  If you plan ahead you could get some of that colored duct tape and use that.
  • photo (6)Using my head as a template I taped up the other side of the crown.  I was really guessing at the correct size.  I figured his head was bigger than mine so went with that.  If you don’t have your subject right there to fit the crown on as you make it I suggest taking along a pair of scissors and more of your tape (scotch or fancy duct) just in case you need to make some last-minute changes.
  • After printing out a picture of the birthday boy and gluing it to the crown I realized the entire thing was a bit too tall.  Learn from my mistake and cut to the desired crown height before piecing together.  I had to take scissors and cut around the top.  Since I used a blade cutting thing to do other other paper cuts the top was a little uneven and not as nice as it could have been.   Tip:  I printed pictures straight from my subjects Facebook page.  I didn’t have any faith that the quality would be any good but I was wrong.  It worked well and I always figure if I use pictures that they posted then they have already approved it for public viewing!
  • I printed out some “diamonds” and a “Happy Birthday” message on blue scrapbooking paper, cut it all out, and glued it all down (I used normal glue).
  • Finally I had to control myself from covering the entire thing in sparkles.   Since it was for a man I figured he wouldn’t be too happy as pixie dust rained down on him from the sparkly crown on his head.  To give it a little more shine I took some sparkle star paper and made a small strip to decorate the bottom of the crown.

image (7)TA DA!  There you go.  Of course you can go crazy decorating your birthday crown and I highly suggest sparkles for anyone that can handle it!  If you don’t have the same type of friends I do you can always swap out the picture for a number or even a big ol’ diamond.

To finish off Paul’s present I made him a magnet from a family photo (when I gave it to him the glue was dry unlike when I took the picture here).  Unfortunately two of his children aren’t in the picture.  I just couldn’t find one on Facebook with all of them.  I suggest they sit down for a Wendy picture-taking session … STAT!

(Yes I made everyone at the party put the crown on and took a picture of them.  I did miss out on 3 of the kids.  They were in power sugar mode and I couldn’t pin them down long enough!)

Los Angeles Dog Hikes

26 Monday Aug 2013

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Riggins look over the spine at Runyon

Riggins look over the spine at Runyon

Happy National Dog Day!  On such a wonderful holiday I thought I’d give you the lowdown on the different hikes the dogs and I enjoy in Los Angeles.

General Hiking Rules of the Road –

  • There is only one hike in the area that allows dogs off leash and that is Runyon.  In all others it is illegal to keep your dog off leash.  Do as I say not as I do.  You know my theory on off leash hiking.  To simplify my thoughts, “I like it.”  Generally dogs are better behaved off leash and can take their time sniffing and having fun.  I especially like it for Riggins since he can run from shady spot to shady spot and hang out there until I catch up.  Of course, if your dog isn’t use to hiking or doesn’t have a rattlesnake vaccination (during season). or is prone to foxtails (during season), or is aggressive to dogs/human on/or off leash then keep your puppers tethered to you.  If you want your dog to learn to be a better hiker than I suggest going with friends with dogs.  Dogs in packs tend to look out for each other and will help keep the novices in-line.
  • Hike with a friend.  This is especially true for any path that may not be that populated.
  • It may be the Girl Scout in me but I like hikes where the folks on it say “hi” or “good morning.”  Almost everyone I say “hi” to and smile at returns the gesture.  This is true for all hikes except Runyon.  Runyon is a Hollywood gathering and you can expect minimal hiking niceties.  A smile and kind words also tends to disarm folks that may be judging me for allowing Riggins off leash.
  • Just like in a car those going up hill have the right of way.
  • Always bring water.  Even if you are expecting a short hike that has water available.
Lousy and Lordy take a time out in the shade at Runyon

Lousy and Lordy take a time out in the shade at Runyon

#1 – Runyon Canyon.  This is every dogs favorite.  It has been described as Disneyland for dogs.  There are three main paths (although one is technically private property).  The paved road (in the middle), the stairs (to the east) and the spine (to the west).  Riggins and I tend to go down the paved road and up the spine.

Good things:

  • Legally your dog can be off leash in the marked areas.  That ends up being most of the paved road and the stairs.
  • Lots of people so you don’t need to bring a friend to remain safe.
  • Lots of dogs which is always fun.

    Snowbell runs down a hill at Runyon

    Snowbell runs down a hill at Runyon

  • Multiple path options allows you to make the hike hard, really hard, are crazy hard, depending on what kind of work out you are looking for.

Bad things:

  • Not the nicest fellow hikers.
  • Parking can suck.  Go early.
  • No bathrooms.  Admittedly I’ve ducked behind a bush more than once.

Dog friendly:  Super dog friendly since it is a dog park.  You will see a few dogs off leash on the private road and most dogs off leash on the spine even though both of these areas are technically on leash.

Lousy leaps for joy at Runyon

Lousy leaps for joy at Runyon

Keep alert if you buck the system as rangers do ticket here.

#2 – Elysian Park.  Despite what I wrote in my post about this area it has become one of my personal favorites.  Just stay on the “nice loop.”  It’s not difficult and is almost more of a “walk” than a “hike.” My suggestion is to park at the Grace E. Simmons Lodge parking area (there will be signs directing you there).  Once parked you will see a street that is blocked off above where you parked.  Take that to the trail head (or at least one of the trail heads).  Once on the trail just go left at any fork in the road.  You will end up down at the street you took to get to the Lodge.  From there it is a short walk on the road to your car.

Good Things:

  • Near the 1/2 point there is an oasis that includes water for the dogs.
  • Bathrooms can be found in the park at the beginning and end of your hike.
  • Lots of trash cans along the path so you don’t have to carry that dog poop long.
  • Great views of the Echo Park, Glendale, Burbank, etc.
  • There are a number of smaller paths that connect to the main path making it easy to cut your walk short if need be.

Bad Things:

  • Traffic.  During Dodger games or morning commute it will be a pain to get to the hike.

Dog friendly:  Very.  There are lots of dogs and most will be off leash.

#3 – Griffith Park.  There are lots of hikes in Griffith Park but my favorite is the one tha

Riggins, Bear, and Jax look out toward the Hollywood sign at the observatory

Riggins, Bear, and Jax look out toward the Hollywood sign at the observatory

t goes from Fern Dell to the observatory.  Park near the Trails cafe and walk past the kid’s playground.  There you will find two paths.  Take either.  They go the same place.  The one to the right is a tiny bit shorter and a tiny bit easier.

The Good:  

  • It’s just fun to end up at the Observatory!
  • There are bathrooms at the top and bottom.  You can also refill water for you/dogs at the top.
  • If you want to extend your hike just walk to the back of the parking lot and you have access to miles and miles of more trails.

    Shug makes her way up the path to the observatory in Griffith Park.

    Shug makes her way up the path to the observatory in Griffith Park.

  • If you want to take pretty pictures then pass up your car on the way back and take the little Fern Dell walk by the stream.

The Bad:

  • Be cautious if you allow your dog off leash.  I can admit those that it makes unhappy are technically in the right.  I put Riggins walking leash on that has a short “leash” attached to it so I can easily grab him if I come across a pack of kids or others that are fearful of dogs.
  • The observatory can get crowded during certain parts of the day.  I suggest going early before it opens to the public so you can wander around at the top with less trouble navigating around folks.

    Riggins and Kona pose in front of the Observatory.

    Riggins and Kona pose in front of the Observatory.

  • If you throw caution to the wind and let your dog off leash remember to put him/her back on before you get to the top and/or the bottom.  Both are very public areas and full of children and cars.
  • Depending on the time of day you will either have a good amount of shade from the surrounding mountains or none.  Be prepared for it to be sunny and hot.

#4 – Hahamonga Watershed Park – Sweet little park that, per it’s website, is the home

Asscher takes a breather near the soccer fields at Hahamongna Watershed Park.

Asscher takes a breather near the soccer fields at Hahamongna Watershed Park.

to 22 miles of hiking trials.  I’ve done *maybe* 6.  Pick a path and go.  I assume you can get to the Rose Bowl from here I just haven’t figured it out.

The Good:  

  • It’s kinda cool to walk past JPL.
  • Lots of open space and a number of trails.
  • Super easy and lots of parking.

The Bad:

  • There are horses here.  If your dog, like Riggins, think horses are the devils ride, then keep your eyes open.
  • This is a disc golf field.  There are lots of folks playing frisbee … very seriously.  I suggest
    Dexter and Riggins ham it up for the camera at Hahamongna Watershed Park.

    Dexter and Riggins ham it up for the camera at Hahamongna Watershed Park.

    keeping out of their way.

Dog friendly: Yes.  Although, like all the hikes, keep your eyes open for rattlesnakes.  Most dogs will be off leash.

#5 – (Beyond the) Rose Bowl Loop – I usually skip the Rose Bowl part of the Rose Bowl loop and instead take the dogs to the path that starts above the Bowl and goes around the golf course.  It’s not hard to find.  While most folks loop back around the Rose Bowl head the other way and you will come upon a more secluded path.

The Good:  

  • It’s an easy hike.

    Dragon and Riggins hang out on the trail beyond the Rose Bowl loop.

    Dragon and Riggins hang out on the trail beyond the Rose Bowl loop.

The Bad:

  • Heads up as it is possible that a stray golf ball will come flying towards you.

Dog friendly: Yes.  Some dogs will be off leash.  This is one that I actually keep Riggins on leash the entire time.

#6 – Echo Mountain – Park at the top of Lake (in Pasadena) and take the path up to the ruins of the Mount Lowe Railroad and Echo Mountain Resort.  If you want to go crazy you can continue on to Inspiration Point.

Riggins among the ruins on Echo Mountain.

Riggins among the ruins on Echo Mountain.

The Good:

  • The historical part of this hike is really fun.

The Bad:

  • Make no mistake you are hiking “up” a mountain.  It’s not a difficult path but it is up!

Dog friendly:  Yes.  Some dogs will be off leash.

#7 – Eaton Canyon.  A popular and fun hike that ends at a waterfall.  A bit of a surprise for the Southern Californian!  You can park at the

nature center area or skip some of the hike by driving up the street and parking near the second entrance.

Clover loves the waterfall at Eaton Canyon.

Clover loves the waterfall at Eaton Canyon.

The Good:

  • Water is always fun.  It also gives you a nice place to get your toes wet before heading back.  I also force the dogs to get wet so that the hike back isn’t so hot for them.

The Bad:

  • In summer expect lots of crowds.  This spot becomes a public wading pool.
  • The beginning/end is full of people and can be hot and sticky.
  • 1/2 the path zig zags back and forth over the stream.  It becomes a bit of a balancing act.  I am always more pooped than I think I should be
    Chloe dives in at Eaton Canyon.

    Chloe dives in at Eaton Canyon.

    after this walk.  I assume it is the extra core workout from trying to keep from falling into the water!

Dog friendly: Yes but keep in mind that there are a lot of people.  A few dogs will be off leash but not many.  I suggest going early to try to miss the crowds.  I tend to keep Riggins on leash until we get to the water and rocks and then let him free.  I have a much better chance of keeping up right if he isn’t pulling me along!

There you go!  The 411 on the paths near LA that we frequent.  If you see me say hi!

The Rigendy – Repost

23 Friday Aug 2013

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Here is a short but sweet post from the summer of 2009.  Enjoy and have a good weekend!  (Don’t let the Rigendy get you.)

The Rigendy

If Riggins and I were one.
Thanks to http://www.bwff.com/

Screw off Match.com

22 Thursday Aug 2013

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I’m angry at Match.com.  I was going to do the “right” thing and put together a well thought out letter to inform them of my unhappiness toward the company.  Alas, I’m having a bummer day and have no time, energy, or compassion for such an effort.  Instead I’m going to rant about them on this blog post and them direct them to it!

I’ve been a member of Match.com on and off for YEARS … Y E A R S.  I’ve been on many many dates, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  In general I’m an easy date “get” (vs. just an easy date).  I will go out with almost anyone that asks from the site.  If nothing else I get a drink and a story out of it.  Unfortunately constant interaction through the world-wide web has taken away people’s “dating” skills.  It is not uncommon for me to suggest we meet for a drinks (after a few emails back and forth) only to never hear from the guy again.  Apparently what these “men” are looking for is a virtual girlfriend and/or a hooker.  I’m neither of these things …. sorry boyz!

Over the past few months, lots of months, I’ve gotten no “hits” at all.  Everyday I go in and look at my 5 suggested matches and “show interest” in almost anyone who has a picture.  Nothing.  Nada.  Simply nothing.  No response.  No one cares.  Nothing.

CaptureSo I made the decision that seems obvious.  I stopped paying the site and cancelled my subscription.  Now I get hits ALL THE TIME.  Wacky right?  Guys “wink” at me, show interest, email … it’s a friggin’ Wendy parade on that site right now.  Now what has changed between pre cancellation and now?  I think it is more than obvious that Match.com is being a bit shady.  My theory is that they are now showing my profile to more people in their “daily matches.”  Like me, they are probably wondering why no one is responding to them.  We can’t …. we are off the site.  Good business … maybe.  Depends on how you define “good.”  Personally I consider it bad business as in bad customer service, bad reflection on your brand, bad money hungry folks somewhere sitting around being in charge.

Here is what Match.com could/would/may have said had I actually written that carefully thought out letter:

You have too many pictures with dogs.  Dogs are my job.  Like it or lick it.

You have too many pictures without make up on.  I don’t wear make up a majority of my day.  I look good … screw you.

Your profile doesn’t say much.  Like people look at anything but the pictures.

You don’t accept “everyone.”  True.  I tend to pass on those who I know will be upset by me being an atheist.  That is a pretty big deal breaker for some folks.

You don’t accept people who don’t want kids.  Right now that is a deal breaker for me.

photo (4)You don’t reach out enough on your own.  True enough.  I’m busy.  Back off.

You aren’t warm and feminine enough.  Screw you.  Your mom is a whore.  (This isn’t true.  I have not even seen Match.com’s mom let alone know if she is a “whore.)

Whatever excuse they come up with the truth is I’m getting WAY more responses now that I’m not paying for the service and can’t gain access/respond to nice men vs. when I was paying a monthly fee.

So I say … “SCREW OFF MATCH.COM.”

 

Hiking Elysian Park

21 Wednesday Aug 2013

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photo (3)Like Griffith Park, I had not hiked Elysian Park until very recently.  It seems so silly that these places are so close to me and I’m just now figuring it out!  Elysian Park is the second largest park in Los Angeles (Griffith Park being first) and the oldest.  It is known to locals as the place you can have a picnic before heading to a Dodgers game.  Until a few weeks ago that is all I knew about it.  That and it was a good way to cut between downtown and Echo Park when traffic on the 110 is a disaster.  Turns out Elysian Park is very big and a fun place to check out.

Elysian Park has a long history but was renamed “Elysian Park” (Elysian is derived from the Greek work paradise) from Rock Quarry Hills when it was dedicated as a Public Park back in 1886.  Today the park includes numerous places to picnic along with a number of different playgrounds for children.  It is also home to the CHAVEZ RAVINE ARBORETUM and GRACE E. SIMONS LODGE both of which I have yet to find.  Although I think I was above the arboretum on Riggins and my last hike.  Finally you will find the Los Angeles Police Academy (I had friends that got married in the courtyard once and it was crazy beautiful) and the Barlow Respiratory Hospital (which specializes is respiratory diseases but creeps me out and would make the PERFECT background for an insane asylum in a movie … it actually probably has been used for that).

I had read about a “loop” hike that was 4ish miles long and last week Riggins and I decided to give it a try.  After failing to find the trail head we gave up and parked where there just happened to be a trail.  There are over 10 miles of trails in the park so it was quite possible we had not wandered onto the correct one.  Be that as it may, we eventually got to the original hike only to take a wrong turn and end up doing a mini-loop.  Driving around after our failed hike I found where the trail crossed one of the roads so Monday Riggins and I decided to start there (to be honest I got lost taking side streets to the park and ended up in some secluded section and started a hike there until I frightened myself and turned around hightailing it back to the car).  From this point we actually made it about 2 miles before where to go came into question.  We took the most obvious path that really had to be correct but turned out wrong.  Going around the side of the mountain like a billy-goat did make for some amazing views of Los Angeles and I only almost slipped once avoiding a tumble-down the side with my fancy footwork and screaming.  Of course we got lost and eventually had to take roads to get back to where we started.  I estimate we walked about 5.5 miles.  That may not seem like a lot to you but when it is hiking up and down and you aren’t sure where you are and you REALLY have to pee it is a very long distance.  Too long for Riggins who was pooping out on me for the last mile or so.

All in all I really liked the first 1/2 of our hike.  It isn’t at all difficult and is a very well maintained path.  There are lots of dogs (of course this is a public park and dogs should be on leash … no one had their dogs on leash) with very nice owners and a few joggers.  It wasn’t until I crossed the road to the other side that things got a little dicey.  Elysian Park isn’t among the nicest of neighborhoods and that side had a lot of trash and tagging happening (yes this is the same side the Los Angeles Police Department is on).  I was pretty confident Riggins was going to bring me back a human leg or something and we would be the headline of the next days newspapers about the dog and woman who found a long-lost dumped body.  At one point Riggins started gnawing on something that I decided looked like human beef jerky … this did not help me feel comfortable at all.

Even with the parts that would make a perfect location for a body dump Elysian Park is very pretty and worth checking out.  I suggest you bring a friend and/or a big black dog for protection!

Source sites on Elysian Park history:

Downton Abbey Love

20 Tuesday Aug 2013

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Downton Abbey season 1 cast – source

Since Time Warner Cable (my internet AND cable TV provider) and CBS are having a ridiculous spat and the summer shows (of which I watch many) are coming to an end I have less to watch from my DVR (anyone worth anything watches TV time shifted vs. live).  It’s simply horrific.  CBS itself isn’t really loss in the summer months but Showtime is a real shame.  I was caught up in the finale season of Dexter and the premiere season of Ray Donovan when my signal was pulled and I was thrown into cable darkness.  I honestly don’t know which of the two gazillion dollar companies I hate more.  It is a hard choice so I choose to hate them both.  I am nothing if not fair.

It is extra aggravating that CBS, in its need to be as petty as possible, took away Time Warner Cable Internet users the ability to watch their programs online.  I feel like this is a HUGE opportunity miss.  They could easily take advantage of this time to become the King of TV on the Internet but alas, no one has that kind of creative thinking when a money war is going on.

Luckily for me I can watch Under the Dome online with my Amazon Prime subscription (I don’t subscribe to Hulu Plus nor do I have Netflix).  So TAKE THAT TIME WARNER CABLE!  Honestly at this point I’m not even missing Showtime and think I can probably cancel it all together without being that sad.  Oops …. not quite the viewer reaction you were looking for during your little quarrel …

Matthews & Lady Mary (KISS ALREADY) - source

Matthews & Lady Mary (KISS ALREADY) – source

After I caught up on Under the Dome and realized nothing on my DVR was very exciting (I wouldn’t dare watch live TV … don’t be ridiculous) I decided to dive into another series that Amazon Prime was offering.  It was between Breaking Bad (which I have never seen) and Downton Abbey (which I, also, have never seen).  I choose Downton Abbey.  Yes yes yes … I know… EVERYONE loves Breaking Bad.  I get it.  It’s just Downton Abbey seems to fit my sensibilities more than the angry drug show.  Don’t get your feathers ruffled.  I’m sure I’ll get to it sometime in the future.

I just finished the first season of Downton Abbey and I’m very pleased with my choice.  Here are my thoughts so far:

  • Every single episode is just heart breaking.  Seriously my heart hurts and almost every episode has me in tears.  So much unrequited love.  I just want to slap some characters in the face and say “kiss her (or him depending on who I smacked).
  • I’d marry Matthew in a heartbeat … I N   A   H E A R T B E A T!
  • Lady Mary and I would definitely be BFFs.
  • I’m  madly in love with Mr. Bates although his extreme morals make me ridiculously aggravated at him (I am assuming he ends up in jail at some point since you search his character name on the internet and you get “FREE MR. BATES” sites).
  • I know that some beloved character died this last season as Twitter was all a-twat about it.  I can’t remember who it was and I’m horrified to get to that part (I feel like its the Red Wedding of Downton Abbey).  Unless it’s Thomas that dies.  I’m okay
    Moral Mr. Bates - source

    Moral Mr. Bates – source

    with that.  That dude is an asshat.

  • Dressing for dinner each night would be exhausting even with a lady’s maid.  I assume my normal attire of yoga pants and tank top would not be suitable.
  • I’m sad corsets are no longer considered the “norm” for women.  They look so darn good on. (I know that goes against my yoga pants attire but if I gotta wear those dresses I might as well look good in them.)
  • I’d appreciate it if the darling lab of Downton Abbey received more screen time.
  • War is coming and I’m scared!

There you go!  One gals opinion on the season of a show that originally ran in 2010!  DON’T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS …

Artsy Fartsy

19 Monday Aug 2013

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Martha Rich art on my walls (just a few examples).

Martha Rich art on my walls (just a few examples).

I’m lucky enough to have extremely talented friends. You’ve read about the film folks but there is another crew that are illustrators (at least I think that is the title they would be okay with). My connection to the “illustrators” is my friend Martha. Martha is an inspiration who quit her corporate job and went back to school graduating from the Art Center College of Design and went on to get her Masters at Philadelphia University (at least I think that is where she went … I’m sure she will correct me if I’m wrong. I was wrong. It was University of Pennsylvania. Which is what I originally wrote and thought it was incorrect). She is a ridiculously talented artist. I am so lucky to own a number of her original pieces and prints. I just adore every single one of them. It’s hard to say which of Martha’s pieces hanging on my many walls is my favorite. The two that come to mind is a corset that she had done for an invitation to some art something or other. It hangs in a “cluster” that includes the page from Rolling Stone that featured a drawing she did of Loretta Lynn. I also really love a colorful daisy. It is really pushing the bounds of “normal” Martha style but at the time she was doing a piece of art a day as a project, and the daisy was done specifically for me (since she knew I would love it) and has my birthday date next to her signature (I don’t think it is one of Martha’s favorites.). Of course I also love the men and women underwear pieces, the pictures of breakfast sandwiches and many more.

Super cool Esther Pearl Watson print.

Super cool Esther Pearl Watson print.

One of Martha’s good (and very talented friends) is Esther Pearl Watson. I own a few of Esther’s prints and I love each and every one. Esther and her equally talented husband, Mark invited me to their X-Mas party last year. It included a white elephant gift exchange of handmade items. It’s a little overwhelming to go to a “handmade” gift swap with actual artists! Needless to say my little necklaces that I had put together did not stack up to the creativity and awesomeness everyone else’s gifts showed. I was horrified (since I certainly didn’t deserve it) and ECSTATIC to walk away with a Gary Baseman original sketch. I’m in awe of the talent that covers my walls and I’m so happy to know such wonderfully talented people.

The last time Martha was in town (she still lives in Philly) I met her and some of her friends for dinner. I was the only “non-artist” and, of course, a small sketchbook was making its rounds (I think it belonged to Mark and Esther’s adorable daughter). Since I have little to talk about in the art world the conversation made its way around to Riggins (which is to be expected). The folks around the table (all of them very talented illustrators in their own individual right) sketched their interpretation of “Riggins.” They hadn’t seen a picture of him, the drawings were simply their interpretation of what they thought he looked like.

OF COURSE I framed them! I actually just got around to doing that this past weekendimage (1). Isn’t it amazing???? It’s so “super cool!” I gotta figure out where to hang it. There has got to be some empty wall somewhere in a premium spot!

Check out Martha and friends sites:

More Reasons Drinking is Necessary on a First Date – Repost

16 Friday Aug 2013

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Recently a friend was telling me a story about a Match.com connection gone wrong and it reminded me of my worse Match.com date … ever!  I thought I’d share the post I wrote about the event back in 2010.  I just re-read it and it is obvious I was still shaking with fear/anger/weirdness overload when I wrote it (no idea where the “dog” thing comes from but at the time it made sense).  Please enjoy …

More Reasons Drinking is Necessary on a First Date

My date last night was so unbelievably bad I can’t even manage to retell the story again.  I’ve already called and vented to my mom and emailed girlfriends so instead of retyping the entire thing again let’s just relieve last night via the emails I sent to a friend.

To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:47 PM
Btw I’m sitting at a bar drinking alone because dog boy isn’t here.  16 min late and counting.  Good thing I have a gin and tonic on front of me.  Yet another reason drinking is necessary on a first date!
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:49 PM
And good thing I downloaded cribbage on my phone!  I love that game.
To my date – Sitting at a bar. Drinking. You aren’t here.
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 8:57 PM
25 min late.  I sent him an email.  He is, supposedly, a CTO.  Therefore he should have NO PROBLEM getting email in his phone! 

I hate men.  Well not all of them but more than half.

From my “date” – October 24, 2010 9:03:31 PM PDT
I was just there and didn’t see u.. hold on I be there in 8 mins
To a friend while forwarding his email – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:13 PM (5 more minutes and I would official be at the bar for an hour)
Really.
Based on the few people that are here that isnt possible.
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:31 PM
Omg.  Omg.  Crazy man.
To a friend – Sunday, October 24, 2010 9:34 PM
Seriously.  I need a drink after that “date”.
The date recap to a friend – Monday, October 25, 2010 9:11 AM
OMG.  I can’t even remember all of it.  I wanted to take out my phone and write stuff down so I wouldn’t forget but that seemed rude.  considering how rude he was I should have done it. 

So he finally comes in and finds me.  He demanded he was there for a long time earlier but there is no way.  You know the (edited so you can’t stalk me).  I got there about 10 minutes early.  There was a couple that came in right before me and sat at the end of the bar.  One single guy watching the game from the bar and talking to the bartender.  The doorman was sitting by the fireplace to the right watching the game and I sat by the fireplace to the left.  the game ended maybe 5 minutes after that and the doorman left to do his job so I was THE ONLY ONE SITTING IN THAT SECTION OF THE BAR.  Seriously.  It was like I was diseased.  I was the only blond woman.  The only woman with short hair.  AND THE ONLY PERSON SITTING IN THAT AREA.  It is actually impossible to not see me.

He then demanded that I wasn’t there the entire time and my “clock was wrong.”  BTW nothing he said was in a flirty fun way but a “I’m better than you and so much smarter it’s pathetic” sort of way.  He wasn’t intelligent.  He was actually a bit of a moron and obviously had insecurity issues.

Not attractive.  At all.  BUT we know personality and fun can get you a long way.  Unfortunately he had neither.

Now know at this point I’ve been here 40 minutes and have finished my drink.  He, at no time, made an effort to buy me another one.  A normal person would have apologized and IMMEDIATELY offered to buy me a drink.  This guy did the opposite.  Told me I was wrong about when I got there and didn’t make a move for the bar.

He pushed stools out-of-the-way to sit  RIGHT next to me.  Not across the little bar table to the side like you would expect.  Like we were sitting on the sofa together watching the TV (on mute) above the fireplace.  Then he spent most of the time not looking anywhere near me but at the TV.

The opening:
Wendy – How are the dogs?
Weirdo – People who show up there, you have to wonder if they are doing bad things to the dogs.  At least they aren’t going to die.  Well right away.

UMMMMM ….

Seconds later:
Weirdo – You have a dog?
Wendy – Yes.
Weirdo – Just one? (said as if it was a judgment against me.)
Wendy – Yup.  More than one starts to be a little much for a single lady.
Weirdo – At least you don’t have 3 cats.
Wendy – Nope.  My dog would eat a cat.
Weirdo –  Three dogs are okay but if you have 3 cats you are insane.  (No hesitation.  Stated as a fact.  True, honest, undeniable fact.)
Wend – Or you are a really nice person who likes cats.
Weirdo – No. (Again said with finality.) You are insane.  I know for a fact.

oooookkkkaaay.

Within 5 minutes of sitting down he was insulting my job and my industry.  He now somehow ran the marketing of his company when his profile said he was the CTO.  He then debated me on how ridiculous market research is, knowing it is my job.  His “debating” was more a “you are wrong no matter what you say” type of deal less give and take discussion.

He  pounded the table to help make his point.  Which he did often.  While staring at the TV.

Turns out he works for a company that developed a software that helps families with autistic children be matched with financial and medical help.  Figures.  He would definitely score on the autistic spectrum.  Imagine what it would be like talking to Trump about what he does for a living.  The over inflated ego, no one is as good, I’m the only person in the world who is this important.  It was like that.

In an email he said he lived in Pasadena.  He doesn’t.  He lives in Burbank.  He just sold his house with no plan on what to do now but does want to move closer to work.  By doing this he will cut his 35 min commute down to 25.  HE’S HOMELESS FOR A POSSIBLE 20 MINUTE A DAY COMMUTE DIFFERENCE.

BTW I rarely spoke during this.  I would TRY to be nice but really went back and forth between debating him and standing up for myself and being “date” Wendy.  After he insulted my work I pretty much spent the rest of the “date” nodding, smiling, and drinking melted ice water.

He insulted Glendale and said anyone who lived there loved Armenians and was insane.

Insulted my major.  Couldn’t understand how I could have possibly minored in physics (in that — there is no way you are smart enough sort of way).  Then insulted my college but that was after this conversation.
Weirdo:  Where did you go to college?
Wendy:  Whittier College.
Weirdo:  Nixon went there.
Wendy:  True.  But not at the same time. (smile)
Weirdo:  Obviously. (in a “what are you a moron” way)

He got on the subject of Scientology.  Insulted them, then Mormons.  Then this conversation.
Weirdo:  You don’t believe religion exists. (not a question)
Wendy:  Oh I believe it exists.  I just don’t follow a religion.
Weirdo:  Your profile says you are an Atheist.
Wendy:  That’s right.
Weirdo:  That means you don’t think religion exits.  That’s insane (have you noticed this is his favorite word).  Of course it exists.
Wendy:  That’s not what Atheist means.
Then he went on to explain why science had it wrong.  Why the big bang couldn’t happen.  What does he think?  Well he went on to explain how we are like a giant computer game and don’t even know it and someone (not necessarily God) is in charge of everything we do.  Like when he plays a video game and the players in the game don’t know he is in charge.  Leading to this conversation:
Wendy:  Well I’ll tell you what.  I don’t believe I live in Tron.
Weirdo:  Of course not it isn’t like that.  It’s like the Matrix.
Wendy:  We live in the Matrix?
Weirdo:  Yes.  That is the best reference to what is happening.
Wendy:  So Scientologist are insane because they follow the writings of a fiction writer but you are normal for believing we live in a movie staring Keanu Reeves?
Weirdo:  Yes.  That is exactly what it is like.
Then lots of hand pounding on the table as he lectured me on chaos and patterns and blah blah blah.

Finally this is how it ended –
Wendy:  Well I finished my drink and I’m not having another one so it’s time to go.  I’m glad you came back and found me.
Weirdo:  Right.  Me too.
Then he pounded the table, stood up, and walked out the door.  Didn’t even look back.  He was gone before I grabbed my purse. I then waited in the bar for a while to make sure he would be gone before I left.

FREAK …. KING OF THE FREAKS … FREAK

Unmade Bed Vs. Poo Foot

15 Thursday Aug 2013

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There are a few things in this world that make me realize humans can be real suckers.  Sushi, for example.  It’s super overpriced RAW fish … you realize you are all getting scammed right?  Or any cup of coffee over 75 cents.  Personally, I’ll never get over paying for bottled water.  One of the things that always puzzles me is making the bed in the morning.  Making a bed in a room that you will spend very little time in before you are going to jump in and mess that bed up all over again seems a bit futile doesn’t it?

photo (4)With all my dog watching I have gotten much better at my daily bed making.  I make my bed and then throw another sheet over it to “lock” it from any furry beast that may jump up on it during the day.  If at all possible I try to cut down on the number of dog hairs I lay my head on at night!  The last couple of days Riggins and I haven’t had any dogs to host so I haven’t been as gung-ho to take the time to make the bed before jumping in it again either later that day for a quick nap or that night for a long snooze.  During this time I’ve had to admit to myself that I would much rather crawl into a messy bed then a strictly made one.  When I make my bed I tuck in the corners and straighten everything out, as I assume you do.  Then when I get in I have to PUSH my legs down to the bottom and flail around for a bit to get everything untucked, comfy, and wrapped around me (or not).  It’s such a pain!  When my bed is just a giant pile of pillows and blankets I can jump in, pull what I want over me, kick off pillows, and snuggle into my own personal human birdie nest.  In the morning I take anything that got pushed off the bed during the night and throw it on top to be snuggled in again later that day.  If a dog takes a blanket, or for that matter all my blankets, I just grab my afghan (that doesn’t live on the bed) wrap myself up in a burrito and lie back down in my own personal comfy cocoon!

Dexter (cocker spaniel) is staying with us again today.  As soon as he showed up we headed off for a hike.  Once home I forced Riggins and him to pose for pictures for this post.  That is when I noticed that Riggins paw was covered in goop.  When I say goop I’m going to have to assume it is animal poop with mother nature attached to it (leaves, twigs, etc.).  He also smelled a lot like dead animal.  AND HE IS HAPPILY HANGING OUT ON MY UNMADE AND UNLOCKED BED!!!  AAAAAAAAHHHHH! (At one point in our adventure I stopped to take pictures of Dexter and me.  When I turned around Riggins had made his way upstream and off trail.  I assume that is where he picked up the dead animal scent and poo foot.)

Now I not only have to give Riggins a bath and make my bed I also have to change the sheets.  Gross.  Thanks a lot Riggins!  Way to screw up a perfectly good “not doing that chore” excuse!