Monthly Archives: February 2013

39 Acts of Kindness – 12, 13 and 14

28 Thursday Feb 2013

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Are you guys sick of these posts yet? We are a third of the way to 39! Just hold on a bit longer.

Thursday’s Wendy Kindness Bombs:

photo (7)*12 – Good Morning Donut. This morning instead of hitting snooze when my alarm went off I rolled out of bed. Half asleep I pulled on my running gear to get ready for my first Kaboom! My goal was to get to the corner (a few blocks away) donut shop, pick up a donut, and then get it to the elementary school (Different school from kindness number 10. My area is loaded with the things.) crossing guard who boldly protects young ones and their growing minds from the cars zooming through a very crowded intersection. It didn’t make sense to take my car. I’d just be driving into the horrible school drop off/work commuter traffic. It is very walkable, it’s just that length that seems silly to be walking without Riggins. Unfortunately, this was an act of kindness I’d be delivering without the dog. Food, crowds, children and Riggins are a recipe for disaster. Better for him to stay home. So I tucked my house keys and a buck into the weird little pocket found in most work out pants, hit shuffle on my iPhone and went for a jog. I opted for a chocolate bar. I figured that was a flavor that most enjoy. I managed to hold off buying one for myself. Aren’t donuts just the most delicious and evil high calorie things on the planet? I could really go for a chocolate donut with chocolate frosting and coconut topping right now! The sweet crossing guard seemed shocked by my delivery but after a beat was all smiles!

*13 – After getting home I rounded up Riggins to go for a walk and to stop by his favorite (and the most disgusting) dog park. Upon opening the garage I saw a bag of clothes that I had packed up awhile ago but had never made the effort to load up and take over to Goodwill. Today was the day! Riggins waited patiently in the car as I made the delivery.

*14 – Tea at the Bar. I often go on hot tea jags. It doesn’t seem to last long but while I’m in it I’m the biggest hot tea supporter you’ve ever meant. I’m currently in a tea phase. I had gotten into the habit of having a glass of red wine every night and although some Americans and most Europeans would say that’s perfectly fine it felt like it was becoming a habit that I needed to break. So I’ve swapped my nightly delicious red wine for a soothing cup of tea. To help in my transition I ran to the grocery store and bought a yummy green tea/berry flavor. Once home I realized the box looked mighty familiar. After searching through cupboards I found a number of boxes I had hoarded from my last tea kick. So, I decided to share the wealth and put together a “To Go Tea” tray for my friends at Bar Method. I’ll drop it off tonight and hopefully there will be enough for the class I attend, along with the two after that.

photo (5)Last night since I didn’t have any cake cookies to make I decided to take a break. I grabbed my tea and settled down in the sofa to catch up on some of my DVRd shows. Riggins took advantage of this opportunity and laid down with his head in my lap and fell asleep. Then started snoring. It was so cute! I wanted to share it with you. Turn your sound up and enjoy the very dark video below. You can’t see anything so here is a picture of his sleeping position post video when he woke up and decided I was a better suited to rub his chest than be his pillow.

Acts of Kindness Roll-Call:

To be continued …

39 Acts of Kindness – 9, 10 and 11

27 Wednesday Feb 2013

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KABOOM!  That’s the sound of a Wendy Kindness Bombs going off.  Here is what happened today:

*9 – More cookies!  I thought that another little boy deserved some yummy cookies after schoolphoto (6).  (And the red velvet cake mix was on sale.  It’s always on sale have you noticed that?  I think it is because although everyone says they love red velvet it just doesn’t taste like anything.  Not only does it not taste like anything it is an obnoxious color whose deep dark pigment gets on EVERYTHING in your kitchen.  Have you ever made red velvet cake balls?  I have, and let me tell you afterward my kitchen looked like I had slaughtered live beasts.  I think it is a big hoax and the person who invented the flavor is cracking up about the whole thing.   I say all of this knowing that I just gave it to someone but I think the recipient family are red velvet fans.  I did add some vanilla to the mix to give it a flavor kick.)

*10 – Speaking of school … I stopped by my local elementary school and donated two reams of paper.  My mom was an administrative assistant for an elementary school for years and she seemed to love when people donated supplies.  The folks at the school seemed genuinely happy and as I left where saying, “we can always use things like this!”  Although I don’t have children and therefore no children in school I feel a kinship to this one as Riggins and I often walk by and the kids in the playground run up to the fence to say hello to the doggie.  Hopefully the paper won’t be used to print homework on but instead something fun like flyers for a carnival.

*11 – Speaking of homework … I’m helping tutor one of my good friends in Algebra.  She is taking a course in college right now.  I really like algebra.  I think it would be a little too much to say I love it but I “really like” it.  It is, by far, the best of the maths!  Now I haven’t done any algebra since high school (I received enough AP credits that I didn’t have to take it in college) so it has been a loooong time since I’ve solved for any X, Y, or Z.  I was hesitant to help at first but she seemed desperate, so I volunteered.  It has been going pretty well and every week I stop by her house to go through a chapter with her.  Granted the first few times I sighed saying, “really smart people would just use a fancy calculator for this.”  Now I’m back in learning mode!  (My friend is gracious enough to feed me a delicious home cooked meal each week so I am technically getting paid in food for my time and knowledge.  Last night it was super yummy chicken, veggies and rice.  Still … I’m counting this as an act of kindness!)

photo (5)There is one person who isn’t really on this kindness train … Riggins.  He seems to feel I’m spending way too much time doing nice things for other people and not enough time doing nice things for him.  He is truly a spoiled only child.  He decided to teach me a lesson by chewing up one of my St. Patrick Day headbands while I made red velvet cake cookies last night.  Little stinker!  He hasn’t chewed up a non-dog toy item in a really long time.  Riggins destroyed that headband.  I had originally purchased two rainbow (I cut off the four-leaf clovers protruding from the top because they annoyed me) headbands for Dee Dee and me to wear during the color run (http://tinyurl.com/aujmymj) but that just didn’t work out.  My new goal was to wear one to our St. Patrick’s Day festivities and give my extra one to a friend.  There is no more extra one …. sorry!  Enjoy the picture of Riggins shamefully wearing the non-gnawed on headband.

Acts of Kindness Roll-Call:

To be continued …

39 Acts of Kindness – 6, 7 and 8

26 Tuesday Feb 2013

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I’m on a roll now! You can’t stop the niceness from oozing out of me. Here are today’s Wendy Kindness Bombs:

photo (4)#6 – Treats for the postman. I had decided to leave a refreshing drink and a nutritious apple for my mailman and then glanced over and saw the M&M’s (the other day I raided the 99 cent store while on the hunt for niceness ammo) staring at me and had to throw them in. No one deserves chocolate more than that poor man. Every single time he comes to my door to bravely bring me my mail Riggins charges into the screen door aggressively barking as if the mailman was Satan himself. I definitely needed to include the chocolate!

#7 – Treats for two cuties. Last night I backed some delicious (I sampled one so can say this with certainty) chocolate chip cookies for two sweet boys. Today after school they will come home to a yummy treat! I didn’t want these to be just any boring cookie so I made them cake mix cookies. Although there are many different versions of this recipe on Pinterest I used this one http://tinyurl.com/b8kmhzr, because it was easiest. Personally I thought there were too many chocolate chips but I have a feeling the boys won’t have a problem with that.

#8 – Treats for the puppers. I’m sure by now you realize that my love for dogs is greater than my love for some humans. This makes it super easy to do nice things for them! I packed up some doggie treats and added a note letting owners know they should take one for now and one to hand out on the trail. This morning as we entered Runyon, Riggins and I duct taped the bag to the announcement board at the trailhead. I grabbed a few treats and gave them out to the owners that where around. Their dogs seemed mighty appreciative! Why the owners and not the dogs themselves? Glad you asked. Because Riggins forgot we were doing nice things and lashed out at one poor sweet dog as I was trying to give him a bone. Riggins can sometimes be protective of his treats and his water bowl. Apparently he felt he deserved the entire bag of treats and there was no reason he should share.

Speaking of Riggins look at that picture of him with the treat bag. Have you ever seen a more pathetic look on a dog’s face? He was in trouble for not obeying me earlier in his photo shoot. I felt so bad after seeing the picture that I not only gave him a treat but played the ball game with him in an attempt to get him to perk up. (Video of the ball game below for your enjoyment.)

I’ve packaged up a couple more Wendy Kindness Bombs that I need to drop in the mail. I’ve decided that I’m going to delay posting about things I mail to give them some time to get to their recipient.

(I wonder if that last paragraph will get me on some sort of government watch list.)

Acts of Kindness Roll-Call:

To be continued …

39 Acts of Kindness – 4 and 5

25 Monday Feb 2013

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Good news, well good news for me. I’ve thought of 28 nice-ities to perform which means I only have 11 more to think up (and 34 more to perform). I appreciate the help so keep those ideas coming! Now on to the most recent Wendy Kindness Bombs (That’s what I’m calling them. Catchy right?).

picstitch (1)#4 – This morning I had to go to the dentist which is located in a big medical building in West Hollywood. I stopped by the women’s bathroom to Operation Beauti-fy it with positive affirmation notes. (More about Operation Beautiful – http://tinyurl.com/b4puj6s). Really is there anyone that needs a positive note more than someone who is heading to or from a dreadful dentist appointment?

#5 – I put a little note and a pack of gum in an envelope and placed it on a car’s windshield in a parking structure. This is a bit of a gamble. Would you eat gum that magically showed up on your car? In the note I added the info to this blog so that he/she could check it out and see that I’m not some crazy gum killer. Hopefully that, along with the fact that it was a fully intact, non-opened, non-tampered with package it will get consumed with happiness.

I’m not going to lie. I really like this one because, like any good novel, it starts out looking like one thing and then there is a huge twist that leaves everyone happy. Can you imagine walking to your car and noticing, from a distance, a note tucked under the wiper? I’ll tell you what I’d be thinking, “What the f***ing f***ck. Are you f***ing kidding me? Did some a**hole hit my car? What the h e double hockey sticks is going on? A**hats!” Then I’d open the letter and there would be a nice note and a pack of gum and I’d think, “Wow … that’s super nice. I take back all those horrible things I said.” TWIST!

Act of Kindness Roll-Call:

To be continued …

39 (cough) Acts of Kindness – 1,2 and 3

25 Monday Feb 2013

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Recently there has been a lovely outreach of people doing nice things for others and hoping that the act of kindness gets passed on (more about that in this post – http://wp.me/p159Ee-8C).  In fact, a couple of years ago a sweet mom decided to spend her 38th birthday by performing one act of kindness for each year of her life (http://mixmingleglow.com/blog/?p=1358).  She even went so far as to ask her readers to do something nice and tell her about it.  I decided this was a brilliant idea and I will try to do the same for my upcoming birthday near the end of March.  As my first act of kindness I won’t ask you to do something too.  Ha!  Just kidding.  Well, until I’m at number 38 with time ticking down then I’m TOTALLY counting that!

Now I have 19 days to complete 39 (cough — I can’t say that age without some hesitation or dramatic response) kind things.  That is why I’m posting this now.  I need your help.  I need some ideas of things I can do that are relatively cheap (or free) and fall in the category of something I would actually do.  So far on my own I’ve come up with about 10.  I tried Googling “free acts of kindness” and it give you ideas like “smile at a neighbor.”  Lame-o.  Well, at least until I’m down to the last-minute than I’m smiling at everyone and TOTALLY counting it!  I really thought it would be easy to come up with ideas as I’d just take the 38 the sweet nice original lady did and then throw in, “gave out dog bones to sweet puppers while hiking” but it turns out a number of hers have to do with having children.  It would be considered creepy if I tossed loose change onto a playground or went to a bookstore, sat down in the kid’s section and started reading out loud.  There are also a few that, let’s face it, just aren’t in my wheelhouse.

photo (3)For my first 3 acts (yes I’m counting them as 1, 2 and 3) I’ve written up hand written letters to three out-of-town friends.  I’m always happy when I get non-bill related mail and I hope they will be to.  You know what I’ve learned by doing this?  You know, besides doing random nice things makes you all warm and fuzzy on the inside?  I can’t write by hand anymore.  Seriously three short notes and I need someone to message the cramp out of my hands.  Lost art indeed! 

Anyway — bring on the ideas!  (Seriously.  I’m kinda stressing out.  39 in 19 days?  What am I thinking?)

Sleeping Arrangements

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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Last night Riggins refused to even sleep in the same room as me. He only moved to the human bed once I had left. Apparently he feels the smell of Bengay is offensive. Kinda judgmental from a guy who eats coyote poop.

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Mushless Oatmeal

22 Friday Feb 2013

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It’s national margarita day so I’m going to tell you how to make the best one person serving of oatmeal.  Sure that doesn’t seem to make sense but you can’t have a margarita for breakfast can you?  Start the morning off right with a delicious warm breakfast and your stomach will be set up for a tequila based celebration in the evening (or noon-ish — no judgement).

A week or so ago my friend mentioned to me that she was trying to eat healthier and switched to oatmeal for breakfast.  Although she likes it she isn’t happy that it is sometimes mushy.  I  realized later that I should have shared my oatmeal making technique so instead I’m sharing it with all of you!  To be honest I read how to make oatmeal this way on a blog years ago, but I can’t remember exactly where so let’s just pretend it all came from my genius brain.  Ignore the instructions on the back of the cylindar container and do this instead.

Full disclaimer – I really like oats.  If a recipe calls for oats I’m adding a double batch.  If a recipe doesn’t call for oats there is a good chance I’m adding them anyway (ex: Nutella Cookie here – http://wp.me/p159Ee-89).  You won’t like this unless you like oats but if you don’t like oats why are you even thinking about eating oatmeal … weirdo!

photo (3)Step 1. – Grab yourself a mug, Disney character optional, and fill it a tiny bit with water.  Just a bit (up to my finger in the picture).

Step 2. – Stick that baby into the microwave and heat for 60-90 seconds.  Yes, my microwave is on top of my fridge.  Yes, that does make it sometimes difficult to deal with.  I didn’t judge you for drinking at noon, back off!  Of course this is just one way to get some hot water in a mug but there are other options.  Turning up your water heater really high and just waiting for the water out of the tap to get super-duper hot is an option.  Waiting until you get to your office and then using that pre-hot water nozel thing that is oddly difficult to figure out, is an option.  Going old school and using a kettle is an option.  Whatever tickles your fancy will work just fine.

Step 3. – Grab some oats.  DON’T use the instant oats.  Instant oats are disgusting.  Those single bag instant servings are disgusting.  Grab real whole oats and spoon them into your mug until you have enough that they almost reach the top of the water.  Then stir them some, leave them be for a while (doesn’t have to be long, go get your step 4 ingredients ready), then stir them some more.

Step 4. – Add whatever yummies you feel you and your oatmeal deserve.  Milk (Hot tip for single folks or folks that think milk is gross and don’t use it that often, I fall into both of these categories, buy organic milk and it will last longer.  Seems counterintuitive but it’s true), brown sugar, regular sugar, raisins (Not my go to as my house is a raisin/grape free zone.  These food items are very dangerous for dogs.  Something in the raisin, and grape although less horrible, causes dogs kidney’s to shut down and renal failure.  There is no real treatment and they don’t even really know why it happens.  If a dog eats raisins the only option is to get them to throw up as much as possible then put them on an IV for 24-48 hours in the hope that you can flush out enough of the bad stuff before it causes real damage.  I know this because I have a large vet bill with this treatment on it.), pieces of apple, berries, or my favorite milk chocolate chips all add a yummy punch to your already delicious meal!

There you go as simple as one, two and three (and four).  No need to eat mushy oatmeal ever again.  “But Wendy,” you say, “isn’t this just the same way you make instant oatmeal but instead you are using non-instant oats?”  Yes.  I realize it doesn’t seem like it can make that big of a difference but it does.  Try it and let me know.

You Can’t Bore Me Into Buying That

21 Thursday Feb 2013

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ry=400(This picture has nothing to do with this topic.  I just thought you’d like it.)

During my life I’ve done a ton of work around advertising research and insight.  One of my good friends works on the production of TV ads.  This leads to a number of colorful conversations of us not agreeing.  Starting with the basics … I love good commercials.  I really do.  A 30 second spot is truly the perfect little bite for my brain.  When I worked with advertising agencies I would watch commercials, I’d read the trades, and I truly cared about those 30 seconds of messaging.  Once I got a DVR the need to pay attention to those commercial breaks became less important.  After getting out of the business I no longer needed to watch them at all.  This is our first constant “conversation” (not fight — that would be petty of us).  I DO NOT believe any data that says people with DVRs still watch commercials on a regular basis.  I mean seriously … come on!  My friend demands he does so people still do.  Then I have to point out that he works in the business so of course he watches them but there is no shooting crew in Idaho.  That audience has less invested personally into those breaks that a push of a button can make disappear or at least zoom by faster.

This brings up one of my most passionate debates (not with this friend but just in general) … bad (or worse no) research.  When an agency hires  someone to do research on their commercial concept they want it to score well.  They don’t want to go back to the client and say, “wow we thought we had these great ideas, you liked them, we liked them, but apparently no one else does so we need to come up with some new thoughts.”  Because they want it to do well, because they are paying for this research, and because those they are paying want their client to be happy, the ad tests well.  Bad research!  How do they get away with this?  The survey is built to lead a respondent to the answers they are looking for.  The pool of respondents aren’t really representative of the national consumer.  Finally, overall almost any data can be read in a way to pull out only the positives.  Then everyone buys into it because after all “the numbers don’t lie.”  Any brand owner who allows their agency to do their own research is making a mistake.

This leads me to the advertiser.  The final client.  My friend and I have different opinions on why a commercial is boring or ineffective (Actually we are really just basing our argument on if it is entertaining or not.  We aren’t running effectiveness testing for every ad we see.). He says it is a lack of creativity by the agency while I say it is because the agency has to make the final client happy and those folks aren’t creative and/or have strict company branding guidelines, etc.  I suppose it could be both and our opinions are based on the work we have done and what we have seen.  In my experience the company gets in its own way. Well, some folks with Sr., Executive, or a C in their title get in the way.   I’ve consulted with a major insurance company whose company brand guidelines were so strict it made it nearly impossible for them to keep up with how innovative their competitors were being in the different advertising media.  I’ve also had a financial institution, who purchased a huge TV spot placement, ask me to tell them how many new accounts got signed up just because someone saw the ad.  Really … am I a witch?  How exactly do you think I would be able to find out this information?  The only way is to force everyone who signs up for an account, after the spot has aired, to take a survey asking why they became a client.  Even that won’t work as most will write things like, “my wife has been hounding me to think about our future” not ” your ad on TV was thought-provoking, honest, and sincere.”  Companies have ridiculous ideas on what their TV advertising will do.  Your goal, especially in buying a high-profile TV real estate, is to increase awareness, loyalty and preference of your brand so when the customer is looking to buy what you sell he/she thinks of you first.

None of this makes any difference if consumers aren’t watching your ads in the first place.  TV ads are being fast forwarded through (despite what my friend and the ad trades seem to think), radio ads are notoriously boring, computer ads won’t keep someone’s attention since they can be avoided as easily as opening a new window, OOH (out of home / billboards) can only do so much, what is an advertiser to do?  Glad you asked!  If I was an advertiser I’d put my money on VOD and podcasts.

Podcasts – Find the ones whose listening audience align with your target consumer and start sponsoring.  This is a loyal audience who is dedicated to listening to the host of the show.  Live reads (or as live as they get) by these hosts are gold.  Some podcasts have a cult like following.  Use that to your advantage.

VOD (Video on Demand) – I really can’t explain to you how much I adore VOD.  When I was in research I’d plead with anyone involved in the medium to please please please fix it.  It’s hard to find, the menus are difficult to navigate and there is no easy way to see what is available.  Still … I love it.  I just think if someone took a little time to fix it up it would be beyond genius.  If you build it they will come.  Advertisements on VOD have changed a bit recently, which annoy me, but should make advertisers happy.  The biggest change is that most major broadcast networks will not allow you to fast forward.  That’s right advertisers …. YOU CAN’T FAST FORWARD.  Here is the problem … the ads right now are horribly and tragically boring.  Either the same ads that originally ran with the program are included or one/two ads play over and over and over and over.  To make your ads work here you need to think about who is watching and when.  Dated ads won’t work.  If I’m watching a show delayed by a week after its’ original air date, I’ve already missed that Toyota Tent Sale.   Do you know what is more annoying than being forced to watch boring ads?  Being forced to watch boring ads that are so old they no longer even apply.  Finally, don’t play the same ad over and over and over.  You’ve now pissed me off.  There is research to support that this just isn’t my reaction but I’m too lazy to go find it.  You will just have to believe me.  Here is where I have to give it to my friend.  He said that advertisers should do a series of ads.  BRILLIANT!  Yes!  VOD should have a sponsor per show and all ads should either be promos for that network or a series of ongoing advertiser ads that tell a cohesive story.  Then it is almost like the program itself is breaking up the story of the featured advertiser, not the other way around.

Sometimes my friend is smart but please don’t tell him I said that.  It will make my next heated advertising conversation with him that much harder to win.

On Your Left

19 Tuesday Feb 2013

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bike1Last Friday Riggins and I went up the hill with our friend Krissy. As we huffed and puffed Krissy explained to me how she is often amazed at how beautiful Runyon is and then remembers she hates exercise and grits her teeth, puts her head down to help focus, and curses violently. I told her that it was the same for me and not just on the hill but with any activity that causes me to sweat. She was shocked, based on the number of activities I do and how often, she assumed I loved all of it. Nope. There is always a point where the euphoria of doing something good for me wears off and I’m left with my head down cursing the world. The “sport” I have the biggest love/hate relationship is cycling.

Actually to call what I do cycling is a bit over dramatic. I ride my bike. That’s about as far as it gets. I’ve never loved biking but started going out on a regular basis when I was training for my first triathlon. Since then, when not in serious “get ready for a race” gear, I try to go out “for fun” once in a while. When you tell someone you have done triathlons (sprints — that’s key — the shortest of the tri sports) they will eventually tell you that the only leg they could/want to do is the bike. I’m the exact opposite. If there was a way to ditch the bike leg for another lap around the lake I’d be extremely happy. There are a number of reasons the bike is my least favorite of the tri spots. First of all, I don’t really care. As you know my goal is to finish the race and not die. If I cared more I’d try harder. Secondly I don’t have a racing bike. I have an adorable and perfectly acceptable hybrid (my bike – http://papa-wheelies.com/product/10specialized-womens-ariel-9152.htm). The bike cost me exactly $0 but a ton of American Express points. Biking in a triathlon would be a lot easier in a better and more expensive bike. Problem is I can’t stomach spending thousands of dollars on a form of transportation I’m not in love with. Finally, I don’t clip in. Clipping in means that your special biking shoes are clipped in or attached to the pedals of your bike. This allows you to maximize your effort by passing energy into the bike when you push down AND pull up your legs. I’m essentially having to work harder since I waste my up leg motion.

All of that being said I do enjoy heading out on my bike, zooming around, and pretending I’m as fast as the once illustrious Mr. Armstrong. Here are my tips of having an enjoyable biking experience (if you want to take the word of someone who admits she isn’t any good at it):

  • Ignore others advice. This seems pretty pushy of me doesn’t it? Here is the thing … I’ve found that cycling is the douche’s sport. I have yet to be answered in the negative when I’m on a date and say to the guy next to me, “you are a cyclist aren’t you?” You can spot them from a mile away. They will happily download their pompous arrogant knowledge at you if you ask or not. I suggest ordering a double gin and tonic and tuning them out. This is the same group of guys who will tell you why it’s okay for them, as cyclists, not to follow the rules of the road and why it is always the cars fault if there is an accident. Just yesterday I almost creamed one of these fools who decided he didn’t have to stop at a four-way stop sign. As I broke suddenly to let the person not surrounded by a large hunk of metal, to continue on without me hitting him he was nice enough to start screaming and gesturing wildly at me. Douche.
  • bike3Cars are evil and in the car vs. bike fight the car always wins. I happen to live in an area of California where my insurance is crazy high simply because of the amount of accidents in my neighborhood. There is NO WAY I’m sharing a road with these fools! Instead I make my way to a bike path that parallels the Los Angeles River (see pictures). The fact that the douche cyclists don’t like this path makes it that much better. People here are usually very nice (or homeless and crazy) and it is an interesting juxtaposition between the cars screaming by on the 5 freeway and a little piece of nature with the river and it’s birds and plants. The LA River bike path (at least the portion I use) starts at Griffith Park’s soccer field and weaves it way toward downtown Los Angeles. It takes you away from Burbank, through Glendale and Silverlake, and into Elysian Valley, known as FrogTown. At one point there were so many frogs in the river in this area they would make their way, hopping, out into the streets. The entire route is covered in murals (and tagging — in case you want to brush up on your gang knowledge) and art. Each gate to and from the river is a pretty iron fence with animals from the river included in the design. Like me, I suggest finding a spot where cars aren’t allowed or at the very least the bike path is wide enough that it gives you some protection against drivers.
  • Despite my inability to allow myself to spend oodles on a bike, safety equipment is a must. Even on my bike path that is mostly flat, a helmet should be worn. I’ve almost wiped out a number of times due to other humans on the path. Once a “filming crew” (as in they had a camera and no permit) member ran down the bank into my path just as I was coming out of a blind corner. I almost hit him and that would have caused my body more harm than his. Somewhere there is an independent film with me cursing widely at the camera. Another time on one of the few downhills I came, very quickly, upon a group of cyclists who decided it was a good idea to stop and block the path at the bottom just when your speed hits the fastest. I nearly wiped out as I tried to slow the bike and grabbed onto railing to really stop as fast as possible. They heard some key curse words as well. There are many stories of real cyclists who fall, especially on a downhill, when there is nothing but the road and speed to blame. A helmet has to be worn. Biking gloves are also a good purchase. Finally get yourself some cycling pants. I realize walking around with a giant pad in your crotch can make you feel foolish but believe me you will be glad you did. I don’t know why they don’t just add the padding to the seat and be done with it. Since they don’t, add it yourself via your shorts. Your butt will thank you.
  • bike2Remember that if you go away from your starting point you have to get back to it. Don’t go so far that you won’t be able to make the trip home. My bike path is slightly downhill at first which gives you a false sense of security. When you turn around to go back the slight uphill is a killer. Be aware of where you are and how you are going to get back. My path is around 12ish miles. Honestly anything longer than 15 makes me want to cry. It is about 3/4’s of the way back when I start looking down and cursing the sport for torturing me. It happens every time!

Cleanliness Sucks

18 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by in Riggins, Uncategorized

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“Cleanliness sucks.” – Riggins Newell

rigginsObviously this is Riggins speaking.  I like cleanliness in fact I dare say taking a bath is one of my favorite things to do.  If there was a way to make the bathtub mobile, maybe add a few wheels and a motor, I’d happily go about my life peacefully soaking in warm water with a glass of red wine at my side.  Tub cruising.  Alas this brilliant invention does not yet exist.

Riggins, on the other hand, is a dog.  A boy dog at that.  His goal is to get and then stay as disgustingly filthy as possible.  His favorite dog park isn’t the nice sweet one with clean benches and ample green grass. Nooooooooo.  His favorite is the gross one that’s all dirt and dog pee where you sit at your own risk.  If he happens to find a stinky pile of anything that can’t be digested then he will just flop down on his back and roll around to make sure the stench gets in real deep into his fur.  Suggesting a bath is Riggins idea of hell on earth.

Since I live with the kid he gets a bath once a week.  This is when the dog people who read this blog inform me that washing a dog once a week is actually bad for his skin.  Yah yah I hear you, but did you hear me about the rolling around in grossness?  Riggins is an outside dog who wants to spend his indoor time cuddled up in my face.  Believe me.  You’d find a way to give him a bath weekly too.  To set your minds at ease I do use a special shampoo (designed for show dogs — nothing is too good … obviously) that is actually safe to use daily.  This is swapped out, every other week, with a special medicated shampoo from the vet (In case you were wondering I use Suave or anything cheaper than a giant bottle of Suave that just happens to be on sale for my hair.  We can’t all be kings of the castle.) which is also safe to use as frequently as weekly.

Bath time is always after a hike, which Riggins has long since figured out.  He refuses to go inside directly from a hike and will instead demand to go in the backyard as if I’d forget what I was planning on doing if he can stall long enough.  I take this time to prep.  The white bath mats get thrown into the hall, the towels move down to the floor and I go to the linen closet to grab a Riggins and Wendy towel and hang them up.  I install the dog wash hose onto the shower head and finally strip off my shoes, socks, and any other outer garments that can be shed.  Then I go get the victim.  Once inside Riggins knows it’s getting real when I take of his collar.  This is when he goes into survival mode.  He slips into the corner of my dinning room in an attempt to blend into the darkness.  Usually I just get behind him and tell him to move it and he will slowly …. very very slowly walk his way into the bathroom and into the shower.  Once he gets all four legs into the stall he is resigned and gives me little to no problems.  He takes his medicine until he is freed.  Post Riggins wash, I strip off the last of my clothes and make myself clean as he runs up and down the hall violently shaking in the hope of flicking off the pleasant scent he has acquired.

This weekend I tapped him on his journey to the shower and he acted out just for you (Please ignore any clutter or untidiness.  It doesn’t make sense to pick up until after the wet Tasmanian Devil settles down a bit.).  Enjoy: