SUPER CUTIE!!!

Mommy loves you!

You know how they say dogs look like their owners (or owners like their dogs)?  I never thought that applied to Riggins and me.  We just look too different to look the same.  I’ve changed my mind.

Last weekend, a lovely 3 day aka 3 hiking day long weekend, I was up at the hill with Riggins and saw a lovely lady walking her Golden Retriever.  Both were summer regal and I was jealous of her Tennessee Williams looking frock.  She had on breezy khaki pants with a gauzy white blouse and a stylish tan wide-brimmed hat.  Her and her dog were a picture of a spring/summer jaunt.  The perfect complementary couple!

I wanted that outfit.  For 1/2 a second until I realized there is no way in hell I’d buy that outfit.  I’ve own one pair of khaki pants ever and only wore them on the job, when I was a plumber.  I hated them.  The last gauzy style blouse I bought was at The Gap recently.  I was trying to mirror the stylish look of one of the store dummies but when push came to shove I scooped up the black vs. white blouse.  I couldn’t do it.  First of all white or any pastel isn’t me and secondly white is a pit stain disaster waiting to happen on sweaty ol’ me.

So I passed the flow-y lady and regal dog in my tight black yoga shorts and black top with a (you guessed it) black baseball cap secured to the top of my head with adorable Riggins happily strutting along beside me.

Fancy lady belonged with her dog.  I belonged with Riggins!

Here are the similarities I discovered once I thought about it for a while (aka the hike that day):

* Riggins is black.  I am not black — but drawn to dark and/or basic strong primary colors (red, green, blue).  The closest I get to pastel is yellow.  Although a bright cheery yellow!

* Riggins has striking and bold colored eyes.  I have striking and bold colored eyes.

* Riggins has a broad chest.  I have broad shoulders (that would be even broader if I swam more).

* Both Riggins and I are deceivingly strong that isn’t noticed on first glance but upon second you can see the muscle tone (him more than me — if I’m to be super honest).

* Both of us have a slightly uncomfortable gait that smooths out when focused on a hill or race.

* Both of us have adorable short hair that can be easily messed up by sweat, slobber, or sleeping wrong.

* Both of us have big ol’ super white teeth.

* Both of us have long narrow faces.

* Both of us are super adorable.

So you see!  We do look a like … a bit.  Like mother like son!

I’ve been so bored by emailing via match.com and other such dating sites lately.  Snooze fest.  I realized today that my email responses have become nothing more than random train of thoughts.  Practically as interesting as reading a grocery list.

I just responded to an email from a guy saying I had read about the gentleman who at 25,000 (or something like that) Big Macs and I’m sorry, but that is all I can think of right now.  How super delicious a Big Mac washed down with a good cabernet would be.

So really putting less than zero effort into the entire thing.  I’m sure they read it and say “What the h e double hockey sticks is wrong with this chick???” as they casually but firmly hit the delete button.

I don’t come off well on email, or in person, if I’m bored.  Really you don’t want to make me bored.  Much like you don’t want to make the Hulk angry.  It doesn’t turn out well for anyone involved.

Me.  That’s who.  I need a nap.  I’m EXHAUSTED.  Although as I’ve pointed out before I live in a constant state of exhausting.  I’ve decided it’s normal.  It has to be.  I don’t do any more than anyone else on this planet (or some people on this planet) and they seem to get through a day without their head crashing to their desk.   I blame my blood pressure meds and exercise.  I know people, those with kids and such, who do seem to do more than me but I really think it is the physically exercise that kicks me in the bum and makes my body crave 9 hours of sleep.  That’s what I need 9.  I’m lucky to get 7.  That math = tired.

Although I do a lot.  Let’s review my last few days.

Friday – 6:15 up to get ready for work. 8:00 -5:00 work. 6:00 home to change. 6:30 to dinner. 8:00 theatre. 10:30 bed & reading.  11:30 ish asleep.

Saturday – 6:00 up to get ready for 5K.  8:30 5K at Santa Anita.  10 Grocery story for meatball things for party.  10:30 Make meatball things. 11:30 Dog park 2:00 NAP & TV TIME!!! (Black Swan on VOD – Horrible movie.  Include guilt on watching that much TV instead of going for a bike ride) 6:00 Friends 40th b-day party. 10:30 bed & reading.  11:30 ish asleep.

Sunday – 6:00 up to get ready for 5K.  8:00 5K at Balboa Lake. 10:30 NAP & TV TIME!!! Noon – Hiking with friend and dogs. 3:00 Mr. Ink It (when we “made” the date his response was “ink it” as in “don’t use a pencil we are so on you can be confident and use an ink pen to put that on your calendar) cancelled because he was at a 40th b-day party the night before and was in “no shape” to go out.  I controlled my impulse to tell him I too went to a 40th b-day party the night before, woke up and ran a 5K, hiked a mountain, and was still planning to make our date.  Instead I just rescheduled.  3:30 TV TIME!!!! 5:00 Get ready for dinner. 6:00 Pick up friend for dinner & dinner.  9:00 TV TIME!!! 10:00 bed to read. 11:00 ish asleep.

Monday – 6:15 up to get ready for work. 8:00 -5:00 work. 6:00 home to change and flop on the sofa vs. taking poor Riggins for a walk.  7:00 off to bar method class.  7:30 – 8:30 bar method class.  9:00 TV TIME!!! 10:00 Book and bed.  11:00 ish asleep.

Tuesday – 6:15 up to get ready for work. 8:00 -5:00 work. 6:00 home to change.  6:30 off to meet Mr. Ink It. 7-8:30 on my best Wendy date behavior (which is more exhausting than anything else I’ve done over the past few days).  9:00 TV TIME!!!! 10:00 book and bed.  11:30 ish (it was a good part of the book) asleep.

I’M SO EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW.  SERIOUSLY.  I wish I was one of those people that could be “refreshed” after 4 hours of sleep.  But I’m not.  I’m just not.  What is the chance I can sneak off to my car for a quick nap????

I had a match.com date last night and it confirmed a few “guy” theories I’ve had for a while.

1.  Condescending is the New Black.  75% (guessing at the percentage here) of guys are condescending on the first (or more) date.  Remember the guy who talked to me like I was a dog.  Going as far as saying “that’s my good girl.”  I could tell he was controlling himself from patting on my head but it was only a matter of time.  I tend to write off the first date “condescending” tone as first dates are hard and don’t count.  BUT it does color my thoughts of you for the second date so why do you do it dudes?  Why?

The more I think about it the more I realize it isn’t just my dates.  I’ve seen male friends, I like, kick it into “take down the wife” mode when in social situations.  There was even an episode about it on a sitcom last week.  Don’t ask me which one because I don’t know.  One of those sitcoms that is funny but you know it isn’t going to last long so you don’t invest too much time in it.  Why is this the go to coping mechanism when they feel unsettled at a party?

The gentleman last night was nice-ish.  He get’s the “ish” for his condescending tone.  His constant need to prove he knew more about everything than me was exhausting.  A gal can only nod her head and say, “wow really” so many times.  I dare say he went as far as to scoff at me a few times.

Now I realize guys are delicate flowers and need to feel like they are more important, knowledgeable, stronger, blah blah blah.  But come on guys.  Is verbally mocking me the only way to do this?  It’s like they see a strong, smart woman who can successfully take care of herself and they think, “Screw this.  It’s time to take  this lady down a few pegs.”  Look guys, I get enough of that kind of attitude at work.  I can give you the same response I do there, “I’m perfectly happy putting up a banner above my office door that says, ‘[fill in name] is smarter and more important than me.’ if it means you will stop this nonsense.”  Difference being I get paid to take that abuse at work.  Last time I checked I’m not getting cash from this drinks date.

2.  Guys like to think the are Lance Armstrong.  All of them … most of them … a large percentage of them, ride bikes aka “are cyclists.”  I don’t know what it is but men, single men, douchebags, are drawn to that sport like moths to a flame.  They love love love it and the love love love when they realize I have a baby toe in the sport (as someone who does triathlons and therefore is forced to ride a bike a specific distance) and then they are in heaven.  They can scold me on my bike choice, lack of clipping in, training plans, etc.  They can scoff (I used the word earlier and it seemed so appropriate —- I can picture the face that goes with it.  Like he just ate a piece of lemon.) at my lack of knowledge around the “sport.”  Here is how the conversations always go:

Guy – (Constant blah blah blahing about cycling during this entire inner Wendy monologue)

Wendy – (Sip. – Wow this is a brilliant Tom Collins.)  Really?  That’s interesting.  (Sip.  Sip.  I love slushy ice.  Every drink should have slushy ice.)  I had no idea.  That’s a really good plan. (Sip. Sip.  Crap he is still on a roll with this cycling thing and I’m almost done with my delicious drink. I need to slow down.  Sip.)  Wow.  (Sip.  Just ice now.  But DELICIOUS Tom Collins ice.  I can work with this.)  Seriously.  That’s amazing.  (Oh Tom Collins ice.  You are delicious and I love you.  Slurp.  Slurp.)  Uh huh. (I could order another one but then I’ll be stuck here for so much longer.  I have to make this one last.  Slurp.)  You sure know a lot about cycling. (Crap.  Slurp.  I shouldn’t have said that now he got his second wind.)  Wow.  Fancy. (I have no idea what he is saying.  Slurp.  Slurp.  I may need one more if this continues much longer.)

AND SCENE!

(I’m going to ignore that I haven’t posted in a long time and just move on.)

A few weeks back I became overly annoyed at match.com.  Well not so much at the site itself but at the “men” on the site.  They refuse, R E F U S E, to meet in person for a date.   WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING ON A DATING SITE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DATE?  No really.  I want someone to answer that for me.  I’ll wait …….  Sigh.  So in a moment of weakness I whipped out my credit card and joined eharmony.com.

It took me about 0.2 minutes to remember why I always shied away from eharmony in the past.  Let’s ignore the fact that their commercials seem cult like and move on with the cold hard facts:

1. They don’t allow for gay relationships.  This does not apply to me but morally it gives me pause.  You know … NOH8.

2. They are religious based.  I don’t know this for a fact just for a kinda rumorish fact so fact enough for me!  This was made more obvious when “atheism” wasn’t a religious choice.  You could be “spiritual but not religious” and if you read my blog you know my feelings toward that chicken answer or “not spiritual and not religious” which, by wording it that way, should really just say, “damned to hell.”

3. Their “formula” is obviously a big steaming pile of bullshit.  This is based on the “matches” they have sent me that just ignore all the things I find important like age, religion, and “want child” compatibility.

4.  HARDEST SITE TO NAVIGATE EVER.  I no loser.  I know my way around a computer.  You set me in front of a website or program and I’ll intuitively figure out how to use it.  I’m not bragging that is just who I am.  My logical/mathematical/physics brain takes over and it is easy breezy.  But this site is a DISASTER.  Honestly it’s navigation or lack there of makes no sense and drives me batty.  I feel like I’m in a different universe were up is down and down is up.  I often mutter “what the hell does that mean” or “why can’t I just go back to the communications page” or “why does that idiot I keep closing keep popping up” or “why does eharmony’s God hate me” or “grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!”

So here is the sum of my experience so far.

The guys still don’t want to actually go out in person for an actual real human date and I HATE EHARMONY!!!!!!

From a Match.com profile of someone who “winked” at me …

“About him & Who he’s looking for

Just a short few blocks from my house you will find a large number of fast food joints.  McDonald’s, Burger King, Jack in the Box, & Taco Bell all a stones throw from each other.  This closeness has resulted in what I refer to as “The Happy Wars.”  Since fast food is fast food and it is all bad for you and cheap, there is only one thing that can drive a customer from one location to another and that is customer service.  These folks know that and are ready to throw down!

I rarely eat fast food and when I do drive a few more blocks to Subway where, sadly, the employees are seconds away from being totally incompetent and customer service to them means simply screaming “WELCOME TO SUBWAY” as quickly as possible and in unison the second you walk through the door. (All right that was a bit of a lie.  I also enjoy Taco Bell but usually go to the one further away as it is “in my path”)  BUT I am a frequent consumer of the medium diet coke via one of my local QSRs drive thrus!  (I realize I’m not supposed to drink caffeine.  Let’s forget that for a second.  I really wish they would have a caffeine free option.  My local movie theatre offers that now!  Isn’t that glorious???  Less guilt for me as I suck down a giant bathtub size drink while watching a flick!)  Due to my use of the drive thru’s I can tell you that The Happy Wars are happening!

The leaders are Burger King and Jack in the Box.  I use to only go to Burger King.  I went every morning and didn’t even have to order a “medium diet coke” as they knew.  In fact the woman became my bff and was beyond nice.  Due to route changes and the need to be on the other side of the road (scrapping together every second possible in a day) I don’t go there as often but when I do I get the “How are you doing????  I haven’t seen you in a while.  Have a great day.  See you soon.” in the most genuine heartfelt tone you can imagine.

Jack in the Box is Burger King’s biggest customer service rival.  I have a number of examples.  Recently my gal friends celebrated the holidays with our traditional “dinner and drinks” out.  A few of us took the “drinks” part to heart and stayed out too late drinking too much.  That lead to a slumber party at my house with a NEED for food the next day.  I suggested Jack in the Box, so off we went.  The woman who took our order was very worried for our well-being and asked if we were okay.   I don’t blame her as we looked like we had been run over by not one but a fleet of trucks.  Still, she seemed to care about us!  Can you imagine?  Someone working for minimum wage at the local Jack in the Box cared enough to check on us.  THEN the most amazing thing happened.  A little old man came in and after, what seemed like hours of thought, ordered 2 breakfast meals.  When the nice woman handed him his bag of food she asked if he needed help taking it to his car.  HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING?  A more recent example of Jack in the Box’s power of nice happened this morning.  I swung through the drive thru for my morning diet coke and happened to get stuck behind a guy who apparently ordered everything on the menu.  So I had to sit there for precious minutes before I could get a hold of my required liquid.  The man behind the window said, “Sorry for the delay.  I’m going to only charge you for a small soda because you had to wait.”  WHAT??????  HOW FRIKIN’ BRILLIANT IS THAT?   You know they still made a 10,000% profit off the soda I got and yet that tiny 54 cent discount made my day!

Taco Bell is next on the nice list with McDonald’s (still nice but in a less obvious way) coming in last.

I love good customer service and the crazy nice employees of the fast food joints in my hood make me a tiny bit happier every time I visit them.  So WOO HOO FOR THE HAPPY WARS!

When Finding Nemo came out a number of friends suggested I was Dory.  I suppose I should take that as an insult as she was a bit of a ditzy fish with short-term memory loss.  Still she had spunk so I’m going to look at it as a compliment!  I think they were referring to her wiliness to just push on, singing happily to herself, as she went off unafraid of failure.  At least that is what I tell myself.

I do constantly chant her mantra, “just keep swimming” in my head.  In fact I think it is the key to success for any fitness program.  When friends ran their first 5K they asked me for advice.  My only advice, “just don’t stop.”  Once you stop you are sunk.  Literally, if you are swimming.  It s SO easy to stop.  It’s SO EASY to not put on those work out clothes and so easy to choose the sofa & TV over getting out and sweating.  SO EASY!  So just don’t do it.  Don’t give yourself a chance.  Just keep swimming!

I usually try to work out more during the holidays since work stress is usually lighter and I get a few vacation days/hours.  This holiday was a work out disaster.  My adorable nephew was sick during X-mas and soon after the entire family was out with the cold.  Personally I had to stop and sink.  Sink right down to the sofa which is where I stayed for  DAYS!  Every morning I’d hope for the best and then have to log on to the computer to cancel my Bar Method class.  It just wasn’t possible.

Despite continued cough and running nose I had to get back to working out.  After all I signed up for my 4th tri that is to take place March 19 (which means I’m already behind in swimming/biking training) so I needed to get going.  Last night I went off to Bar Method class after a week and 1/2 off.

Now here is the key to the “just keep swimming” method of fitness … staring after stopping is a pain in the bum (and a pain a number of other places too).  Anyone who has started any kind of weight lifting or strength training exercise regime will tell you how horrible it is at first.  Well that is if they remember and are telling you the truth.  It’s HORRIFIC.  Seriously every single muscle hurts.  Every single one!  You can’t even imagine walking and breathing without pain let alone going back to the gym/class/etc to do it all again.  A similar thing happens when you leave for a bit and come back.  Even just a week and 1/2 off and I knew I was heading into a world of hurt.

Today I can’t walk without thinking, “ouch!”  BUT I WENT BACK!   I didn’t want to.  I almost talked myself out of it a number of times.  BUT I WENT BACK!  Now I need to make it through a class without running out to blow my nose.  I also need to start swimming (35 degrees when I got up this morning so I’m not really looking forward to the pool) and biking ASAP!  Oy vey!

JUST KEEP SWIMMING.