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Pinterest Recipe Update

19 Friday Apr 2013

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image (4)I first posted some of my successful Pinterest cooking experiments awhile back. I’ve tried a few more and wanted to get you the 411. There are some really funny blogs out there of Pinterest fails. The theme being, the blogger will attempt something off Pinterest and then showcase their failed creation. They are hilarious. They also make me feel pretty cocky. After all, my attempts have, overall, turned out pretty good. If I’m to be honest with myself (and who likes to do that) it is because I’m picking easier things than these comedian bloggers. I’m having an annoying day … on my last nerve and boarding on a menace to society … so let’s just give me this one … okay?

CAULIFLOWER FRIED RICE – I made this last night. Giovanna was coming over to study Algebra and those nights demand food and tea (which we sometimes substitute with wine). More on Giovanna’s night in a second. First dinner. I had NO FAITH at all that this would turn out. None. Zero. Zilch. I could not have been more wrong. This stuff is DELICIOUS and actually does taste like fried rice. Perhaps a little earthier tasting but could easily fool a child and my dad (if he didn’t see you making it). What a crazy healthy meal! I’m so impressed with this I can’t push it hard enough on you. Try it. I’m going to be honest with you … I didn’t measure anything. I had shredded (via my trusty food processor) a small head of cauliflower and was planning to use it all. I just estimated ingredient amounts around the mound of white faux rice. Worked like a charm. A few other tweaks, I hate onions so didn’t use them. I hate egg yolks so just used whites. Finally I added shredded chicken. Delicious!

Okay back to Giovanna. I had told Giovanna how adorable our houseguest Lousy is and had no doubts that he would love my fellow dog loving friend. When she came in I had Lousy and Riggins outside and once settled I went to go let them in. Riggins made a beeline for one of his favorite people with Lousy close behind. I, being human with only two legs, was a bit further behind. Next thing I know all hell was breaking loose in my

Pictorial proof that Lousy is actually a cuddle monster.

Pictorial proof that Lousy is actually a cuddle monster.

dinning room. Lousy had gone into kill mode and was mean growling and biting in Giovanna’s direction. The poor woman leapt onto my dinning room table to save herself. By the time I got there Lousy had felt his duty was done and had left the room. When I called him back to scold him (Giovanna still on the table — I really wish I had a picture of that) he strutted in like he was the star and was shocked when he was forced to lay down on his side with my hand at his throat. He totally didn’t understand why he was being marched back outside where he was forced to stay alone for the rest of the night. Every time I checked on him he was sitting exactly where I left him looking toward the back door with sorrowful eyes. My assumption is that Lousy thought Giovanna was an intruder and went on attack to save the house, his bff Riggins, and me. Not a bad quality for a dog …. unless that intruder is actually one of your really good friends. Although it isn’t surprising for a dog to be protective of his space, humans and things it is a little odd that Lousy is so bonded considering it isn’t really his house, his brother, nor am I really his human. I also stand by my statement that Lousy is one of the cuddle-ist dogs I’ve ever meant. If he had his way he would spend all day in my lap. Lesson for all — if a dog has teeth he/she can always bite, so be careful. Learn the signs of a dog in distress so you know when to back off and when all else fails be sure you have a dinning room table nearby to climb up on!

BROCCOLI GRAPE HARVEST SALAD – I made this. It was okay, not great. I left out the grapes which I suppose could have been the big problem. Grapes/raisins are poisonous to dogs so my house is grape free. I’m also not sold on the “yogurt can be used as a substitute for mayo” thing. Yogurt is disgusting and makes me gag. Mayo is sent down from the gods to make salads and sandwiches delicious. Now that I look at the recipe again I didn’t really follow it at all. Maybe it is better if you actually do what they say.

PEANUT BUTTER COCONUT CUPS – These were freakin’ awesome! Peanut butter, oats, and coconut … oh my! It’s like someone took items from my favorite food list and stuck them in a food processor and then smashed them into a cupcake tin! Add chocolate and the dream is complete! I used milk chocolate and didn’t care about it being raw or whatever it is they suggest. You already know I keep coconut oil for slathering on my body and don’t cook with it. I used olive oil, but just a tiny bit. Finally I didn’t have maple syrup so used honey … and, as usual, gave up measuring as soon as the first ingredient hit the bowl. These things are a good time …. you should make them.

ZUCCHINI FRITTERS – These were yummy too. You could probably call them hash browns and trick your kids and my dad (if he didn’t see you make them). A little cakey but there is a good chance I put too much flour in them. They did well in a Tupperware and put in the fridge to eat the next day. Thumbs up on veggie hash browns!

ROASTED CHICKPEAS – I was looking for a popcorn replacement and came up with these. They take an annoyingly long time but if you can wait they are delicious. I did nothing it said short of use chickpeas, oil, and an oven. For seasoning I used some California Mix I picked up at Ralphs. Fancy … I know.

CROCK POT BAKED POTATOES – The fact that these even have a recipe is hilarious. BUT I can never get my baked potatoes made the old fashioned way or even the nuked way, to turn out well. These were delicious! Seriously … super yummy. My stomach had been really causing me issues a week or so ago and baked potatoes with veggies on top was the only thing that sounded good. Stop shrinking back due to your hatred toward the evil carb-by baked potato. They have some good qualities and if you are going to eat them might as well make them good! I added olive oil & some salt before wrapping them up in tinfoil. These are one of the recipes where I think afterwards, “huh .. that worked … shocking.”

There you go. Maybe you can try some of these this weekend. Have fun and stay away with any dogs that have teeth!

 

Helping Boston

18 Thursday Apr 2013

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(Caution — Involves a good amount of cursing and unlady like language.)

It’s been a few days since the bombing during the 2013 Boston Marathon. It’s giving me time to calm down and breathe. When such horrific things happen I tend to jump right to hatred. It’s my go to emotion. I become furious and want to scream from a mountain top, “what the hell is wrong with you people … why are you all such assholes … you ARE NOT allowed to hurt other human beings …. YOU ARE not allowed to kill other human beings.” Explain to me how this is so fucking complicated that it can’t stick into some freaks brains????? It just absolutely throws me for a loop. When I saw the news reports my first thought was, “This is some fucked up jackass from our own country. Some twat who can’t understand what he has done. A mentally ill fucktard who should have been taken out of society years ago.” (My hatred obviously includes an increase in cursing.) Honestly I don’t care who did. Whatever the reason it wasn’t a good one … BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOOD REASON.

Needless to say I know I’m preaching to the choir so I will stop. I try to pull back from anger and channel my inner Mr. Rodgers (seriously can this guy do no wrong) and embrace his now, thanks to the media and the internet, famous quote, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” If I stop being angry I can see all the people who have helped those that were hurt in the bombing, not to mention those who are strong and will be dealing with the after effects for the rest of their lives. I wanted to bring you some ways that you and I, non-Bostonians, could help.

Unfortunately, back to my original thinking, some people are assholes and there have been a number of scam Twitter and Facebook pages put in place to either get money or attention from those who want to help. Never give money unless you are positive the organization you are giving too is real. Sometimes this is hard to prove so please be very careful. Even if money isn’t involved be cautious of your clicks. “Likes” and followers to a social media or internet page helps increase the value of the virtual real estate. Don’t let those asshats fool you into giving them your support. It’s really easy to steal a logo (like I did for this post) and make up a page.

That being said here are a few things I have found that may be helpful. Even though I have posted it still research on your own before supporting. I like to pretend I’m perfect but let’s face it …. I’m not.

* Adidas continues to prove they are the classier of the two major sport apparel companies (yes I did take this moment to place a dig at Nike). As one of the marathon’s sponsors they have launched a limited edition shirt. 100% of the proceeds go to The One Fund Boston, Inc. The shirt is promoted by the Boston Marathon itself so it’s a safe bet. http://www.adidas.com/us/boston-tribute-tee/_/N-1z125b0

* You can also donate directly to The One Fund Boston at their website. http://onefundboston.org/

* Gofundme.com is a great crowdfunding site to help raise money for a cause. There are a number of sites that have been set up for individuals and families affected by the bombings. Just be careful and try to check that they are truly what they say before donating.

* The Salvation Army is always a good place to go to help. They have a Boston emergency fund set up that you can donate to online. https://donate.salvationarmyusa.org/massachusetts/bostonmarathonrelief

* You already know the American Red Cross always can use your help to help others. http://www.redcross.org/

* The hospitals caring for patients of the blast accept direct donations – Massachusetts General Hospital and Boston’s Children Hospital.

* The Boston Marathon itself says it is going to secure a place for donations. Keep an eye on their Facebook page for that info when it becomes available.

Let’s face it, Boston isn’t the only place that needs our help. The world is proving itself to be really sucky this week. The massive explosion at a fertilizer plant in North Texas near Waco hurt that small town really bad. Casualties include first responders and homes near the plant are gone. It’s being reported that up to 15 people have died with many more injured. I don’t have any info on safe ways to help these folks but I’m sure there are many. Please share if you have thoughts.

Finally, a quick message to the jackass who sent a poison laced letter to the president. What the fuck is wrong with you? I mean besides the obvious that you need to be on serious mental stabilizing medicine (no judgement on that … I’ll send you some of mine if it will help). Being mentally unstable is one thing but being stupid is another. Did you REALLY think the president opens his own mail? That he sits at his desk in the Oval Office with his feet on his desk and casual goes through the mail that came in that day? “Blah, another electric bill. These people need to learn to turn off the lights.” “Looks like the presidential car needs to be serviced.” “Ooh this one looks interesting, I think I’ll use my official shiny presidential letter opener for this one, cough, gag … oh no …” I MEAN REALLY WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING?????

If you know other ways to help those hurt this week please share with us!

The Phoenix Film Fest & My Talented Friends – Guest Blog

16 Tuesday Apr 2013

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Hi ya’ll.  As you have already figured out I have very talented friends.  Birds of a feather and all (tee hee).  Leslie isn’t just a talented thank you card writer she is also a very talented producer and co-owner of the production company Conspicuous Pictures.   Her most recent film, FAVOR, just premiered at the Phoenix Film Festival.  I asked her to share her experience with us.  (FAVOR was written, directed and executive produced by Leslie’s husband, Paul.  Leslie produced and acted in the piece.  Another good girlfriend, Tiffany also produced and one of my good friends, Pat co-stars.  Congrats to my super talented friends.)  For some reason all the pictures Leslie gave me are pixellated oddly.  Please ignore that … or think it was a conscious effort to be edgy and artsy.  Either works for me.  Leslie take it over ...

The Phoenix Film Festival

UntitledIf you’ve ever seen the documentary OFFICIAL REJECTION that my husband, Paul Osborne, directed and I produced, then you are well aware that the Phoenix Film Festival is our favorite festival on the independent film circuit.  It’s run by filmmakers and well-organized; the quality and caliber of films they show is sophisticated and impressive, and they know how to throw a hell of a party.

Paul and I had the privilege of attending the Phoenix Film Festival (PFF) this year as our narrative feature, FAVOR, was selected as a competition film for 2013.  Paul first encountered the fest in 2006 when the first film he wrote and produced, TEN ‘TIL NOON, was selected as an entry.  We participated in the festival again in 2009 with the aforementioned OFFICIAL REJECTION, and Paul has been invited back the last two years when the festival has given an encore performance of OR.

5Wednesday morning, Paul, our two-year-old son Liam, and my two step-kids Andy (10) and Elli (15) piled into the car and got on the road to Phoenix at 5:30am.  We like to get out of Los Angeles before rush hour begins and arrive in Phoenix…well, before rush hour begins.  Because we were bringing all three kids, Paul’s parents offered to fly out from Hawaii to supervise and also get in some quality visitation with the kids.  In lieu of renting three hotel rooms for five days, I opted for a rental house conveniently located 10 minutes from the theater and which offered four bedrooms, a swimming pool and a billiard table – all for about 1/3 less money than a hotel would have cost.  Score!

Cutie Liam who was attending with a broken arm. Poor little guy.

Cutie Liam who was attending with a broken arm. Poor little guy.

The Phoenix Film Festival always officially begins on a Thursday and runs through the following Thursday although the ‘unofficial’ end (at least for the filmmakers) is Sunday evening following the festival awards.  They throw a filmmaker dinner on the Wednesday eve prior which serves as a nice meet and greet – not only for filmmakers to become acquainted with each other, but also to connect with the guys who run PFF:  Chris Lamont (president & founder); Jason Carney (festival director); and Greg Hall (feature film head programmer) amongst others.

It’s always exciting when Thursday rolls around and the ticket office officially opens.  Filmmakers and patrons alike line up to get their festival passes, programs which give the schedule of the festival and, of course, their tickets.   When 5pm rolls around, the Party Pavilion opens and that’s when the alcohol starts flowing.  There’s always an opening night film – usually some award-winning star vehicle that won something at Sundance – and an introduction to the many generous sponsors who support the festival.  The crowd then returns to the Party Pavilion and THIS is where the fest really begins.

I’d like to say that I am an altruistic festival attendee, and that I summarily read my program cover to cover, determine what films interest me most, and then spend the next three days in back to back movies for 8 hours straight, but that’s generally not the case.  Perhaps as a patron that would be a possibility but as one of the filmmakers, you have not only the screenings of your film to attend as there are Q&A’s after each one, bit often times you’re tapped to participate in panels the festival puts on throughout the course of the weekend.  So your time is more limited that you’d think.  And then, when you’re not recovering from the previous night’s party or 3am Chevron Food Mart “Chaco Taco” run, you usually end up seeing the films of fellow filmmakers with whom you’ve bonded over cocktails at the Party Pavilion, or the films that have buzz that you worry might be competition for your own film.  It’s supportive and calculated simultaneously.

This year I saw some films that I was really impressed with.   If you’re a film lover and have never attended a film festival, seek them out.  There are literally hundreds in the U.S. so there is likely one that plays near you at some point during the year.  It’s a great opportunity to not only see cutting edge, original films, but also to get to hob knob directly with the filmmakers and talent.  Below are the films I would recommend seeing (including mine – shameless plug), whether it’s at a festival or screening near you, or when they become available on Netflix, Amazon or any other DVD or on-demand vehicle:

Paul Osborne (FAVOR), Alev Aydin (LONELY BOY) & Scott Storm

Paul Osborne (FAVOR), Alev Aydin (LONELY BOY) & Scott Storm

FEATURES:

  • DOWN AND DANGEROUS
  • FAVOR (winner, Best Screenplay)
  • LONELY BOY
  • MISA’S FUGUE (award-winning educational film)
  • PUTZEL (winner, Best Feature)
  • THE RETRIEVAL (didn’t see but it won the most awards at the fest)
  • THE STORY OF LUKE (again didn’t see but won the Jury Prize)

SHORTS:

  • ALONE TIME
  • DOCKET 32357
  • GIRL CLOWN

Overall, the lure of being a filmmaker at independent film festivals is this:  You get to spend a few days playing celebrity of sorts (there is usually local press coverage), hanging with your cast and crew as well as like-minded filmmakers to whom you have complete and utter access (and who become your BFF’s after a couple of cocktails) and mainly, you get butts in seats and eyeballs on your film.  Praise is a powerful drug when you have folks sticking around afterwards to ask you questions about your movie or wanting your autograph.  The immediate gratification (“immediate” being a relative term after months if not years working on your film) is awesomely validating and the camaraderie intoxicating.

Then the festival comes to an end, and you have to make that long and lonely flight or drive back home, returning to your ‘day job’ and daily responsibilities but hopefully with some additional Facebook friends and new additions to your Twitter feed.  Luckily for Paul and I, returning to our day jobs is still pretty cool (we both work in motion picture marketing) and our daily responsibilities are pretty joyous at the moment with our two year old.  So we are thankful for our week of artistic debauchery courtesy of the Phoenix Film Festival, and we look forward to the next one.

Leslie Wimmer Osborne works in Creative Content at Paramount Pictures and is a producer/co-owner of Conspicuous Pictures.  Follow her on Twitter @lwimmer2u.
Check out:  http://www.FavorMovie.com

Leslie didn’t include a picture of herself for the posting.  Luckily I have a zillion!  Here are my (unapproved) additions:

Leslie and Paul

Leslie and Paul

Wendy and Tiffany

Wendy and Tiffany

Paul and PatPaul and Pat

Getting Older Check List for Women

12 Friday Apr 2013

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Not 50 ... yet.

Not 50 … yet.

Huffington post recently posted an article on their blog “50 Things Every Woman Should Know How To Do by 50” by Shelly Emling. Like most things posted on Huffington (or anywhere else widely read on the web) it caused controversy with the readers. Comments included suggesting the story was sexist while others happily added to the list. I don’t have enough energy to think about it being sexist. I just thought it would be fun to tally up where I was on the ol’ list. Below find the original list with my personal notes.

By 50, women should know how to:
  1. Say “no” without feeling guilty – Can anyone do that? A man can I suppose. Screw this. Maybe this list is sexist.
  2. Book their own travel – Check.
  3. Say “I’m sorry” and mean it – Fine. Whatever. If I was every wrong I would totally do this.
  4. Laugh at themselves – My favorite activity.
  5. Change a tire – Ummm. AAA. Why would I do that myself?
  6. Take themselves out to dinner and/or a movie — on their own – My second favorite 252271_10200200751321443_434116897_nactivity. It actually annoys me when women or men won’t go see a movie by him/herself. It’s so much better. You don’t have to worry about another person enjoying themselves and you don’t have to share the popcorn. I wish I was at a movie by myself right now.
  7. Get around in a foreign country – Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.
  8. Program and operate their TV (this is easier said than done!) – It’s really not hard.
  9. Mix at least a few classic cocktails – Well Cathy did get me a cocktail shaker for my birthday. She was horrified I didn’t own one.
  10. Do their own taxes – Nope. Thanks Dad!
  11. Invest in the stock market – Does 401Ks count???
  12. Make themselves and their own needs a priority – Constantly.
  13. Sew — at least a little – No problem-o
  14. Defend themselves against an attacker with at least one signature self-defense move – Is everyone’s signature move a kick to the crotch?
  15. Perform CPR – Check.
  16. Carve a turkey – Sounds horribly boring.
  17. Choose their own wine – Ummmm. Yah. I choose wine by their price/what’s on sale/pretty labels. It’s a very scientific system that has worked well for me for years.
  18. Light a grill — and then cook on it – Yuppers.
  19. My super awesome swimsuit.

    My super awesome swimsuit.

    Swim – I wish I was swimming right now. Now I’m sad. Stupid list.

  20. Order a credit report — and then be able to read it – Sounds more boring than that turkey thing.
  21. Examine their own breasts – If I was drinking I’d do a spit take.
  22. Graciously accept a compliment – Define “graciously.”
  23. Flip their own breaker – That sounds dirty.
  24. Plunge a toilet – This is obviously a list for women who have never lived alone or prefer to let their bathroom flood with poo water.
  25. Properly hang photos and artwork – I agree! I hate when pictures are hung too high. It causes me rage. EYE LEVEL PEOPLE. EYE LEVEL!
  26. Whip up a signature dish that’s not spaghetti or meatloaf – Do purple pork chops count?
  27. Walk away from a situation or relationship when it’s not working – Only after screaming doesn’t work.
  28. Tell off at least one person who deserves it – I take that back. This is my most favorite thing to do.
  29. Say what they really want in bed – To sleep. Duh.
  30. Eating alone in a place where I had to hail a taxi.

    Eating alone in a place where I had to hail a taxi.

    Put together a piece of “some assembly required” furniture – Yup. Until I was smart enough to have someone do it for me.

  31. Apply makeup without a mirror – Do I have to be good at it? Wasn’t this a challenge on one of those Tyra model shows?
  32. Buy something crazy expensive just because they want it – Have you met my vacuum? Not “crazy” expensive but most expensive vacuum that has been in my house.
  33. Ask for a raise – definitely.
  34. Mow their own yard – There are people who do this for me. Why would I take their job away?
  35. Unclog a drain – Of course.
  36. Tell which direction they are facing – Are you joking?
  37. Tell at least one really good joke – A dog walked into a bar …
  38. Make small talk with just about anyone – Sales person for 17 years. Got this one covered.
  39. Know when to reveal personal information — and when not to – So it would be bad to tell you I think I smell right now? Seriously … I’m going to put deodorant on. BRB.

    I saw this in a bathroom once. It just made me laugh. Squirrels????

    I saw this in a bathroom once. It just made me laugh. Squirrels????

  40. Think critically and independently when hearing speeches and listening to the news – I’m ignoring you.
  41. Paint a room – Why?
  42. Buy the right-sized bra – Sure.
  43. Beautifully wrap a present – I’m sure there has been at least one.
  44. Hail a taxi – Traveling salesperson for 17 years. Again … covered.
  45. Reach out to an old friend – Thanks Facebook.
  46. Jump a car battery – Does the person who wrote this list not know about AAA?
  47. Show love with actions and not just words – Like kissing with tongue?
  48. Put together a real retirement strategy – Nah.
  49. Look good in a photo – Thanks photo filters.
  50. Open a bottle of champagne – Yes please

Well now that I’ve read it I agree this list is kinda silly. How did you rate? I feel pretty good with my score/answers.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Thumbs Down to Dirty Birds

11 Thursday Apr 2013

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Riggins chillin' on the "locked" bed. I had just gone running which makes me sweaty and delicious.

Riggins chillin’ on the “locked” bed. I had just gone running which makes me sweaty and delicious.

When I decided to quit my job my biggest concern wasn’t how Riggins and I would survive with no income … it was how I was going to survive without my cleaning lady. I LOVE my cleaning lady. I love her more than almost any other human I know. She has been with me through numerous apartments and has been loyal to me longer than any man I’ve ever dated. Telling her that I couldn’t pay her until I got a new job was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I almost cried. I have a friend who once said she would rather go without food than go without her cleaning lady. Who can blame her? Food only allows you to survive. Your cleaning lady allows you to be happy!

What was I going to do? I simply can not live in filth. To be able to breathe I need vacuumed carpets and clean counters. The only option I had was to … gasp … do it myself. I am NOT a domestic goddess. I strongly dislike housework. Not that anyone loves it but I SERIOUSLY dislike it. I’m really good at throwing crap out. I can do that all day long but the actual scrubbing and cleaning. No thanks!

Speaking of throwing crap out. You’d think I would make a great hoarders therapist don’t you? You’d be wrong. First of all I can’t even watch the show Hoarders on A&E. It honestly gives me the chills and makes me gag. WHO WOULD LIVE LIKE THAT? WHO????? I saw part of an episode once where some guy thought throwing away his dog’s shed hair would kill the dog. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT KIND OF HAIR HOUSE I’D LIVE IN IF I THOUGHT THAT WAS TRUE????? Gross. Gross with a capital GR. I’d have no patience for those people. I realize they are sick and have a condition and blah blah blah but you can bet I’d have to be dragged out of there kicking and screaming, “that stack of newspapers means nothing … NOTHING … BURN THE PLACE DOWN!!!!” I actually have a brilliant plan for any hoarders therapist/cleaner helper person. This is what I’d do. After introductions and shock/awe at the state of their living conditions I’d make them a bet. They can be all weird about ever single scrap of paper and empty ketchup bottle UNTIL I find a dead animal. Any dead animal. Then all bets are off. They have to vacate the premises and I get to throw crap out willy nilly. They will come back to a nice clean house that will stay that way for at least a good week. Sure they won’t be “cured” but really how often do those shows really cure people? Brilliant right? They ALWAYS say there is no way something is dead in their house and there is ALWAYS a cat or rat corpse. ALWAYS! GRRRRROOOOSSS!

Brilliant daily chore chart.

Brilliant daily chore chart.

Back to me. I’m no good at dedicating an entire day to cleaning. It just isn’t going to happen and that only keeps my house clean for a day or two so what is the point? Pinterest to the rescue (as always). I found lots of suggestions on Pinterest on how to do a chore a day so that you have a rotating cleaning schedule. I thought I’d give it a shot. To keep my chore list close to me and top of mind I put it on my phone. I’ve been doing it for a few weeks now and I’m sold! My house is never super-duper crazy clean but it is always tidy and clean enough! Of course I cheat and skip a day or two. Honestly I’ve only dusted once because dusting is boring. I could bump my vacuuming up to two times a week but that isn’t going to happen. I do have a few time-saving tips that I’m happy to share:

* Get rid of your husband and kids. I realize this works well for me because it’s just Riggins and me. Men and kids are dirty.

* Move to a smaller house. I live in a two bedroom one bath. That helps a lot!

* Quit your day job. Really frees up your time and gives you the chance at a higher daily chore success rate.

* If you have a Riggins “lock” your bed and sofa. This means covering locations Riggins sits and sheds with a sheet. Sure it doesn’t look great but if company pops over then you can pull that sheet off and have a clean bed/sofa. LIKE A MAGICIAN. TADA! (Although I usually just leave the sheet on. Less trouble.)

Dirt from one pass through my living room. DIE DIRT .... DIE!

Dirt from one pass through my living room. DIE DIRT …. DIE!

* Get a good vacuum. I heart a good vacuum. I’ve been obsessed with Dyson since it became a brand. I want everything they make. Sadly each item is approximately 1 zillion dollars. For my birthday lots of friends got me Target gift cards so I could get me a fancy Dyson. I got a Shark instead. To be more specific a Shark Rotator 3-in-1 Lift Away Vacuum. I just couldn’t pull the trigger on a zillion dollar dirt sucker. The Shark is still the most expensive vacuum I’ve ever owned and about $200 less than its Dyson rival. It got great reviews so I figured I’d give it a shot. I used it for the first time this week. I love it. It’s my new favorite thing in the entire world! (BTW no need to get one with all the attachments. I’ve used 2 and figure I may get as high as 4 but really they just get lost making them useless.) One crazy reviewer vacuumed her house first with her old unit then with her new Shark. Just to see how much more filth was picked up. There was no way I am crazy enough to vacuum my house twice. I barely have the stamina to do it once. I’ll take her word for it.

* Don’t dust. Okay this isn’t true. I really need to dust.

There you go! That is how you successfully keep a clean(ish) house! I’m not getting rid of my other vacuum. If I was a hoarder I’d collect (doesn’t seem so bad when you call it a collection) dogs and vacuums. I may be crazy but at least my carpet would be clean!

LA Beerfest 2013 – Guest Blogger

10 Wednesday Apr 2013

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Hi ya-all.  This past weekend I was able to cash in on one of my birthday presents, a ticket to LA’s Beerfest from the lovely Cathy and Bryan (better known by blog readers as Gavin and Griffin’s folks).  I asked someone with much more experience and love of beer to write-up a blog post on the event.  It isn’t that I don’t like beer but Bryan and Cathy have a keg with custom tap in their kitchen so they bring their beer love to another level! 

Cathy told me pics are fun and wanted lots included in her post so without further adieu enjoy today’s guest blog with lots of pictures!

April 6th…. I like to liken it to December 24th. Its an Eve. A special Eve.  Its National Beer Day eve.  National Beer Day is April 7th.  On April 7, 1933 President Roosevelt over turned prohibition and made it legal to make and sell beer as long as it was below 4.5 percent. Unrelated side note: April 7th many many years after that my older brother was born on that very day. He however doesn’t like Beer at all. Which makes me question our actual blood relation. But I digress.

In an effort to celebrate Beer Day eve, a group of friends and I (11 total) embarked on BEERFEST LA.   An event that for $40 you have 3 hours to sample all the beer you can!  This is A beer event put on by the Drink.Eat.Play  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Drink-Eat-Play/186763821339819 The party people who also have brought to Southern California the Bacon Festival, 80s Prom, and Cupcake Challenge.

My husband Bryan and I took Wendy (owner of this blog) for her birthday, met up with Tricia and John (Tricia went with us last year which makes her a Beerfester) and 6 of our friends (Beerfesters) who were dressed in official Oktoberfest attire. image (15)

They all went to Munich a few years back and who doesn’t buy Lederhosen when in Munich. DUH. They were very popular. Folks stopped to take pictures with them all through the day. I was kinda jealous. Next year weather permitting I may dress as a giant beer mug.

The Festival is Annual and takes place on the Paramount Studios lot. 88 breweries set up booths to show off their best, their newest, their yummiest beers.

Beer 1This was year two for Bryan and I so we were prepared. Wearing our pretzel necklaces we took UBER CAR (new car service in LA much like a taxi) to the studio at 11:00am for we were giddy with anticipation for the flood gates of beer to open at noon. The pre staging is very smart. There must have been 20 food trucks there for folks to line their stomachs sos there was less “mess” to clean up for the staff after. Smart.. Drink Eat Play!

Drink Eat Play is actually VERY smart. At first you think there are WAY the hell too many people there. But it’s a good thing. You go from booth to booth with your 4oz mug and get samples. Then you have to stand in line for the next. Think of it as self pacing. Without the waiting I think bad things would happen. How many of us have sat in a wine room in Solvang drinking pour after pour of wine. They are such tiny tastes what could possibly go wrong. Well for those of us who have ended up face down or worse, at said wine bar, know…those tiny pours are deceiving.  So waiting in lines is well it’s a good thing.image (19)

My group hit about 35 booths. Which if you do the math, take out a few we tossed, that’s about 8 beers in 3 hours. Could we have done better? Sure. But take into account there were 11 of us making our way through the crowds, dancing at the DJS and live cover bands, getting their pics taken with beer strangers and stopping at the ample amount of port a potties. I think all in all we did well.

The overall vibe of Beerfest is so nice. Everyone is happy. Everyone loves beer. Folks are sharing, talking, laughing. No one cares if you are in line and 10 of your friends join you 3 minutes later. Its just a fun place. I would highly recommend it to any beer fans. Tickets usually go on sale in February, and for sure sell out. So buy you tickets on line (there are two Beerfest “shifts” you can go 12-3 or 3-6 just click on the time you want while buying, we always do 12-3).

image (18)At the end of the 3 hours it was nice to see that Paramount is conveniently located next door to Astro Burger. GENIUS! After a burger and some fries, a taxi was called and we were headed home.

My favorite beers? Well I will preface this part of the blog with I don’t like Belgium, nope not any, even Hoegaarden which my husband calls “Vegas breakfast beer”…and Im not a giant fan of IPAs. But I will say if you are in LA and have a chance to go to Golden Road Brewery, I do like their IPA. http://www.goldenroad.la/

So if you are looking for scoop on the best Belgium or IPA in LA move along son, nothing to read here. But there were a TON to try.

I am also prefacing this part of the blog with ,…it kinda got fuzzy after the first 10. Not drunk fuzzy, just even with pretzels unless it totally sucked or was totally amazing I can’t say for sure…so here you go. My best post beerfest guesses..from what I remember.

Babe BBQ and Brewery had a great Blackfin Lager. Totally black, like made Guinness look light but tasted like a light lager. http://babesbbque.com/

Sapporo is a sushi beer and we all know it. Good clean, non descript but Im putting them in my top 10 cause they gave out sake shots to make Sake Bombs. Winners!

Crispin hard cider…had the best Pear Cider I think I have ever had. This was 3 tastes in so trust me on this one. Light refreshing and not dry at all. We all agreed this was a keeper. http://www.crispincider.com/cider/products/

Lagunitas never disappoints. They are local CA beer so that’s a plus. Im a fan of their pilsner and Wendy like them cause they have a doggie on their bottle cap. http://lagunitas.com/beers/

Shipyard Brewery had an IPA I know I said Im not a fan but this one was good called Monkey Fist. And the name is fun. http://www.shipyard.com/taste/

By the time we got over to Rogue beer, things were getting fuzzy, but a kind man in lineimage (2) for the bathroom encouraged me to try the beer but ask for a secret beer, a SNICKERS (kind of like knowing what the Animal is at In and Out), it’s a mix of their Hazelnut and Chocolate beers and I must say it was yummy.  http://www.rogue.com/beers/beers.php

Firestone has become one of my favorite breweries. I rushed to their booth as we drink them in bars and at home. Their Velvet Merlin is a crazy good stout and only like 5%. Which is pretty low for a stout. For those who are not avid beer drinks that means it’s a black beer that tastes really good and like a lager. They also have a great Double Jack, just good beer over all!  The Firestone folks at the fest surprised me with their new Pilsner and it didn’t disappoint. Firestone is just good beer! http://www.firestonebeer.com/  http://www.firestonebeer.com/beers/index.php

image (16)That’s all I can really recall. I know there were more beers I liked, but sadly some I would walk away thinking I should remember that and did not. Next year I will take pics with my phone of the Tap handles with a Thumbs up so I remember!

And finally….

This was a lil poem I penned while prepping for Beerfest, and by prepping I mean having a beer….

 

’twas the night before Beerfest

 And all through the house

 My husband and I were prepping with a lil Karl Strauss

 The breweries were plenty

 88 to be shared

 Wonder if we can try them all- yes we’ve been dared

 Wondering if we could tell the difference between bottle and tap

 Hoping its not hot or well surely want to nap.

 Wondering which beer to start with

 I mean does it matter?

 Do we run to Blue Moon or Firestone?

 We think the latter

 We’re getting there early to make a mad dashimage (17)

 Thinking ahead to make the most of 40 bucks cash

 The day should be joyful with many a friend

 After 3 hours I’m sure we’ll be sad for beer day to end.

 

See you all at the Beerfest next year! PROST!

Thanks Cathy!  I knew you were the woman for the job!

Theatrical Sophie’s Choice

09 Tuesday Apr 2013

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For months now I’ve been saying that the new Star Trek movie opens on May 10th.  I’m on a countdown.  Today I noticed a billboard for The Great Gatsby and it’s opening date is …. gasp … May 10th.  I was horrified.  WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO?  What do I stay loyal to? My love for Ray Bradbury and his fabulous Star Trek franchise or my fascination with F. Scott Fitzgerald’s emotionally twisted novel with gorgeous costumes?  I really was torn.  I’m not embarrassed to say I’ve attended Star Trek conventions and have reserved “Daisy” as my unborn daughters name.  It’s like Sophie’s Choice … but worse!

Of course on my drive home I made the only decision I could.  I would go to both back to back opening night.  Double up on popcorn and soda and have a blast.  My next thought was what do I wear?  I’ve already threatened to dress up themed to The Great Gatsby.  I can’t go back on that, but how do I show Paramount that I appreciate their bringing Star Trek back to the big screen while in a flapper dress?  My mind was already on high-speed thinking of costume mash-ups.

Once home I immediately had to get my ideas down and looked up both movies on IMDB.  Turns out Star Trek opens on the 17th a week after The Great Gatsby.  Whew.  Crisis averted.  Even with this new information my mind could not grind to a halt.  I was already planning my costume.  So here you go … my Star Trek/Great Gatsby mash-ups.  Let me know which one you think is the best. (BTW … a phaser/flask is the most genius thing I’ve ever thought of.  I demand these go into production immediately so I can start using it.  Click on the small images to blow them up.  I’m kinda in love with all of them.)

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My Hatred of the Job Hunt Joke

08 Monday Apr 2013

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If you read my blog regularly you know I took a leap earlier this year and quit my job without having another one in place.  Although I’m madly in love with not working every day and I adore babysitting dogs when I can, mama’s gotta pay the bills.  Unless Riggins and I want to be on the street with a cardboard sign I need to dedicate part of my life to finding a new job.  This task is made harder by my wanting to take a different career path and move out of pure sales.  If I wanted to just have a job I could have easily gotten one that was just like the last, and the one before that, and the one before that.  I’m sure I would be successful and make good money, just like before, but I can’t guarantee I would be happy and I’m really into trying to be happy.

You know what really harshes my happy?  Job hunting online.  Let’s bypass networking in person and all that and just concentrate on how ridiculous electronic job hunting is.  Everyday I check three specific job listing sites to see what is new and if anything looks like a good match to me.  Then I move on to a list of companies and I check their individual web sites for new openings.  I rotate which companies I check each day and end up looking at all at least once a week.

Now let’s ignore that these resumes are going to a computer or someone in HR that simply scans for keywords and specific past titles.  If you don’t make the buzz word cut you won’t be hearing from them no matter how good you are.  That isn’t even my issue today.  Today my main issue is that applying online is a joke.  Why you ask?  Well I’ll be happy to tell you.  It’s OBVIOUS that most companies don’t care about any resumes that come in online.  They are looking at promotions from within and/or word of mouth from those they know.  They post the job to the general public because … well … they kinda have to.  Makes me want to sob into my 1/2 full glass of Cabernet.

How do I know this?  Well besides common sense let me just go over some of the things I’ve dealt with today while trying to apply to jobs online:

* A major consumer products company career website just isn’t working.  This isn’t something out of the ordinary.  It rarely works.  I’ve emailed their hr dept. about it and sent my resume directly to them in the past.  The site still rarely works.

* A major movie studio web site that surprisingly works a majority of the time, didn’t work well today.  I wanted to apply to 2 jobs and each one I had to restart the entire process 3 times for it to fully submit.  The site just stopped responding part way through the very very long questionnaire.

* Another major studio web site has a search option that just doesn’t work.  On the front page it shows most recent job openings, many of which are located in LA.  When you do a search for jobs in CA you get a message saying there are none.  Doesn’t make sense to me either.

* This didn’t happen today but another example. … On LinkedIn a non-profit company had a really interesting job listed.  To apply it linked you to their site.  Where THERE WAS NO PLACE TO FIND ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR OPEN POSITION(S).  I emailed them and was told to go to their site.  Someone didn’t read my entire email … did they?  So I responded to say that I had done that, that I still was unable to locate it, and requested additional help.  They told me the link was at the top of the page.  It wasn’t.  I’m not a moron.  I know my way around a website.  It wasn’t there.  Heaven forbid they just give me the direct link.  I gave up.  I’m sure that was their goal in the first place.

* I attempted to apply to a position at another entertainment studio today.  The listing stated that you MUST include a cover letter with your resume.  You could only send your resume electronically through their complicated online system.  That system did not allow you to include cover letters.  So there you go.  Set up to fail from the start.  I still turned in my application without the cover letter.  Well at least I think I did.  That was an hour or so ago and the website still says it’s thinking, so who knows if it was processed or not.

Come on people.  I know it’s a waste of time and you know it’s a waste of time but can we please just pretend for my sanity?  At least just a little?  Sigh … I’m going to go take a bath with the chamomile epson salts I bought from Target this weekend.  That should bring my blood pressure down a bit … maybe.

On a happier note — Pictures of Riggins and Morgan playing at the dog park this weekend:photo

Magic Oil

04 Thursday Apr 2013

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Coconut oil is magic. I know this because Pinterest told me so and Pinterest would never ever lie to me. A quick Google or Pinterest search should give you an impressive list of uses for this magic oil, many of which I wouldn’t try because I would never think of it and/or the use is just dumb. For example, many will list it as a natural sunscreen of a huge giant SPF of 4ish. 4???? 4???? I slather spf 70 on my face and 50 on my body and I still manage to get burned/tanned/sun damaged. 4???? Don’t make me laugh. I suppose if I was stranded on a desert island with no hope of rescue I’d take a coconut and rub it all over me just to pass some time, but really that’s it.

There is also lots of advice on what kind of coconut oil you should use. I bought the Trader Joe’s a couple of times. The bottle contains the buzz words “organic” and “virgin” so it sounded good to me. Last time I purchased some I was too lazy to make a trip to Trader Joe’s so tossed the brand they have at Ralphs into my cart. The only ingredient listed is coconut oil so that was good enough for me. Works fine. I see/feel no difference.

My use for coconut oil is limited to my hair and body. I tried cooking with it once but it was annoying to measure and liquefying took patience I just don’t have as a chef. Coconut oil will be solid in most of our homes only liquefying at 77 degrees-ish (I could be wrong on the exact temperature … I said “ish” to remain safe and honest.) and above. Before I use it I usually stick the container under some hot running water to liquefy enough for me to slather all over myself. One genius blogger said she keeps hers in the shower and by the time she is finished getting clean it is warm enough to use. Brilliant! That’s now where mine is kept.

Here are my main reasons I like coconut oil:

  • It’s a wonderful hair conditioner. Kinda brilliant in fact. Before going to bed slap some on your head and work it into your scalp/hair. The next morning, after rinsing it out, you will be amazed at your soft locks. The first thing people ask is how you can sleep in bed with a head full of oil. For one, you aren’t dipping your head in it. You put some in your hand and work it around. There isn’t enough to cause any problems. If you don’t believe me put a towel on your pillow. My other tip, if you are worried, do this the night before you change your sheets.
  • As a skin conditioner it works really well. Not the best in the land but pretty good. In fact it has helped the bumps on my upper arms. In the past I’ve used keratosis pilaris lotion along with any other lotion I could get my hands on. Nothing worked that well. The KP lotion was the best but it kinda smells like you are burning your skin off. The other day I noticed that after using coconut oil for a couple of months the bumps are a lot less noticeable. Plus it is much nicer to smell like a mai tai then a burn victim.
  • The number one reason I like using coconut oil for a skin moisturizer is that it makes Round back with Riggins. Strong leg and ab Bar Method muscles allows you to put your dog with your feet!doing round back in Bar Method easier. Hear me out. There is an exercise in Bar Method called round back that targets slimming and elongating your legs as well as working your arm and abs. You sit in front of the wall with your butt a foot or so away so you can lean back against the wall on your shoulders. Then you put one floor flat on the floor and the other lifted as high and as straight as possible. Finally you push both your hands up into the barre over your head. I think round back is one of, if not the most, effective leg tapering exercises in Bar Method. Unfortunately you do need the barre so it isn’t something you can do at home. Anyway, once your leg is as high and as STRAIGHT as you can get it you go through a series of lifts and extends that test your mental endurance not to mention make the top of your thigh (among other things) quiver with the intense effort. In between the 30 one inch lifts or 40 small extends or 30 tiny circles you get to hold back on for a 1/2 of a second to your ankle for a quick reset. This is where coconut oil comes in. when I use lotion on my legs, even if it is hours before, the lotion is doing its job and therefore my hand slips right off my leg. I can’t get a grip which means no short time-out for me! Coconut oil will soak completely into your skin. This doesn’t happen right away so don’t run to take as shower, cover yourself in oil, and then get angry at me because you are all slippery. Give it 30 minutes or so and you will no longer feel like a human slip and slide. Coconut oil allows me to get a firm grip on my ankle and take that miniscule time out that gets me through the rest of the exercise.

    The correct way to do round back. If you are super fancy, like the founder of Bar Method in the blue tank, you can be cool and put your non-working let straight out vs. on the floor. Source.

    source


So there you go! Give the stuff a shot and let me know why you like/hate it.

Thank you. Love you. Mean it.

01 Monday Apr 2013

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image (7)When I was little my mom and dad, with help from Grandma Newell, taught my sister and me that it was extremely important to write thank you notes for any and all presents you receive.  No matter what.  This was pre-internet and email (Can you believe we lived pre email?  It’s a shock we survived.) so the only way to do this was via mail.  What we now call  snail mail.  This was such a hard-core rule with my Grandmother that not sending a note in an appropriate amount of time could mean you forfeit whatever present was coming up next.  Seriously, if you wanted a birthday present you better sit down and write a thank you for that Christmas present Dec. 26th!  No ifs ands or buts!

As much as it was drilled into my head and even though it is just good manners, I often let time go by and then forget to send a thank you note.  I’m horrified on my own behalf.  To make me feel even worse about this, a good number of my friends are GREAT thank you card writers.  There is no doubt that they each had their own Grandma Newell who taught them the correct way to show gratitude.

The person who shames me the most is my friend Leslie.  I know, without a doubt, that if I give something to her I will have a handwritten note in my mailbox two days later.  I’m always so impressed not only with her manners and timeliness but with the classiness of her stationary.  In response to your gift you will receive a heartfelt written thank you on crisp and elegant card stock style note cards with her name printed in fancy font.  Every single time I receive one I think, “Now that is class.  I need to get me some of these here personalized cards for sending out notes.”  Then I remember I actually have some, I just don’t use them.

It was no surprise that after dropping off cookies for Leslie’s son I received a thank you card.  What surprised me is that this little dude (Age under kindergarten … I don’t know his actual age.  I barely know my actual age.  I’m going to go with 2.  I think that is right.  2-ish.) has his own personalized stationary.  Classy AND age appropriate.  Totally swanky! I was blown away.

So after my latest birthday I wasn’t going to let Leslie’s tiny son outdo me in Thank You photo (8)note writing!  I pulled out some thank you cards and wrote them out.  Then I addressed them and sat them on my desk.  Where they sat for a few days.  Then I managed to remember to buy some stamps and those sat in my purse, with the cards still on my desk, for a few days.  So here we are.  A week after my birthday and my cards have yet to be stamped and mailed.  That is going to be fixed today!  Maybe.  Probably.

Better late than never I say (I don’t think Grandma Newell would agree)!

(Dog update – We took Snowbell home yesterday.  She is the best puppy ever.  When her parents told me she doesn’t destroy things I rolled my eyes and thought, “sure … a six month old puppy who doesn’t chew things up … sure..”  That puppy showed me!  Riggins already misses her — image (10))